17. Scarlett
17
SCARLETT
N ick told another stupid joke and had Ethan laughing so hard I thought he'd start coughing. Sometimes he did that, and I didn't know if it was something to do with his condition or just from the laughter. It was good to see them hitting it off so well. "Dr. Nick" was welcome in our house anytime if he kept my boy so happy and engaged. After months of being on low activity and missing sports, Ethan had been down. Nick came in like a breath of fresh air this evening.
We were eating stroganoff and breadsticks, and Nick had brought brownies for dessert. The evening was going off without a hitch, and my heart felt a little lighter and happier finally. After my chat with Nellie a few weeks ago, and having had a more normal schedule at work, it seemed like things were leveling out. And having Nick come cook dinner for us two weeks in a row was special.
"Now, what do you call a bear with no teeth?" Nick asked and I rolled my eyes as I took my last bite of food. Ethan seemed to be thoughtful as he chewed his breadstick and shrugged a shoulder as he narrowed his eyes at Nick. "A gummy bear!" Nick blurted out and Ethan laughed so hard he spit food out.
"Hey, now, no messes," I chided playfully. I stood and picked up my plate to carry to the sink and Nick mirrored my actions. We cleaned the table as Ethan finished eating, and Nick cut the brownies. He and Ethan each had one, but I had to pass. I'd eaten so much food my stomach was full and I couldn't eat another bite.
"Want to watch a show?" Ethan asked and sat on the end of the couch next to him as he munched his brownie. It looked like his lips were slightly blue, but he'd had blue juice with dinner. I tried not to panic, but I felt uneasy.
"Do you feel alright, buddy?" I brushed a mop of his curls off his forehead and leaned closer. His lips were definitely not as pink as they should've been. "Nick?"
"I'm fine," Ethan said, pushing my hand away, but Nick walked over to sit next to us on the couch, and I saw the concern etch itself across his forehead. Neither one of us wanted to scare Ethan, but I knew the look of worry. Nick was the professional and if he wasn't comfortable then I should be flipping out.
"Feeling anything funny in your chest?" Nick asked him. He shoved the last bites of brownie into his mouth and pushed Ethan's pant leg up. He pressed two fingers into Ethan's skin on a few places, and I watched his lips purse in concentration as he looked back at my son's face.
"I don't know." Ethan bobbed a shoulder. "Maybe a little funny, but just like squeezy or something." He pushed Nick away too, then reached for the remote. "I want to watch a baseball movie since I can't play."
Ethan was lost in the screen, surfing the movies available while Nick and I exchanged worried glances. "What do you think?" I asked him, and he frowned.
"I think I'll stick around to make sure this movie is a good one." Nick's tone was so heavy, and I knew was using cautious words to not frighten Ethan. But I could see the concern in his eyes now. I wanted him to stay. We'd never made it obvious to Ethan that we were having adult sleepovers because I hadn't taught him about the birds and the bees yet. I wanted him to grow up at his own pace and be a kid for as long as possible.
"Are you gonna kiss again?" Ethan asked, yawning. It was a bit early for him to be so sleepy, but I wasn't going to put him to bed. My heart was anxious. I wanted him close to me so I could keep an eye on him, and Nick must've agreed.
"We're gonna kiss so much you will vomit," Nick joked and Ethan rolled his eyes.
"You're gross. You kiss girls." Ethan's snicker as he hit play on the remote made my heart feel a little lighter. I did love that he was warming to Nick. It made conversations like the one I had with Nick about family—the one where I ran away—less scary. Maybe I'd never have to tell Nick that Ethan was biologically his. If we were happy and together and we had a family, my heart would feel whole. Nick would still love Ethan like his own…
I pulled Ethan to my side as the movie started. Nick went to the kitchen to make us popcorn. We got about fifteen minutes in before Ethan was snoring lightly. His head lolled to the side so I laid him down across Nick's lap.
"He's tired so early," I said, biting my lip.
"Yeah, that's probably the slight hypoxia. His lips were blue; his legs were swelling. It's why I wanted to stay." Nick inched Ethan's pant leg up again and we both noticed the slight swelling hadn't gone down. "I want to stay the night in case something happens."
Not only was this the loving concern of my son's physician; I could see in Nick's eyes that he genuinely cared about my son. The way a father would.
"Yes, please don't leave."
Ethan started to stir, and I felt bad. He was tired. He needed his rest, especially if his condition was acting up a bit. So I stood and grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch. I wrapped it around him and helped Nick slide out from under him without waking him more. Then I took Nick's hand, shut off all the lights but one, and we walked to my bedroom.
When the door was shut, I turned and wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his barrel chest . His arms came around me in a warm embrace and I felt the kisses he placed on my head.
"I'm worried, Nick." My voice was muffled by his shirt, but he heard me. His hands slid up and down my back in a comforting gesture and then one of them wove up into my hair and gripped a handful. He pulled my head back so I was forced to look up at him.
"I'm here, and I'm not leaving, Scarlett. Ethan's going to be just fine." Nick's voice was an anchor steadying me in the anxious waves.
I nodded and sighed, and his lips brushed over mine. "Let me help you relax a bit. Then I'll check on Ethan."
By "relax a bit" I knew exactly what he meant, and while my body wasn't entirely in the mood, my heart longed to feel close to his. I nodded and let my eyes shut as his lips returned to mine. I felt him back me up against the door, his body pressing into mine. It felt warm and safe, exactly the feeling I needed at that moment.
As our clothes melted away, I couldn't help but admire the man in front of me. I traced my fingers over his abs and up to his chest. I could feel his heart racing just as fast as mine was. He delicately slid my leggings off, along with my panties, and the cool wood behind me chilled my skin as Nick remained on his knees kissing his way up my inner thigh.
His tongue was warm and wet as he delicately teased my clit. "Nick." I whimpered, grabbing onto the doorknob to steady myself. He chuckled against my skin and then slid two fingers inside of me as he continued to work his magic on my clit. He lapped and sucked. I used his head for balance when he draped one of my legs over his shoulder to have more room to devour me.
He was relentless, sucking and licking. His fingers found the sensitive spot inside of me that ached for his touch and he rubbed it until I was whimpering and trembling, on the edge of climax.
"Nick, I'm going to?—"
He didn't respond and instead slid in a third finger that angled just right. A soft grunt tore from my lips as waves of pleasure coursed through my veins. I trembled as he continued to suck on my clit. My knee went weak and I felt him bear up under my weight as I almost fell, but his lips never broke contact with my sensitive flesh. He continued working my pussy until I was a puddling mess, quivering and almost unable to walk.
When he slowly rose and gripped my hips, I felt the moisture on his hand and let my head rest against the door. My leg dropped, toes pressing into the carpet briefly before he bent and hooked two fingers behind each of my knees. "God you're addicting," he said in a low voice as he lifted me then secured my legs behind his back while he pinned me against the door in another scorching kiss.
I draped my arms around him and locked my hands behind his head as he carried me to bed. Once on the bed he lay me down and then positioned himself between my legs. I chuckled at the goofy expression on his face, but that laughter turned into a whimper as he entered me. He was slow at first, taking his time, savoring the moment. His length slid in and out of me, his eyes locked on mine. I wanted so much more than what we had going on right now. I wanted what he asked me for last time we did this, and I had been so upset about having kept the secret about Ethan from him that I got scared and ran. But this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
"Nick," I whined, feeling his depth hit my back wall and I clenched around him, almost shuddering again.
"Scarlett, you are so incredible. You know? You're everything I want…" His words sent me over the edge again, marrying my heart to a hope for our future that was already woven into my thoughts for days. It made tears well up as he kissed me and swallowed my moans of pleasure as my body convulsed and twitched under his again. It was powerful, and lasted longer than the first one, but Nick seemed to understand how my body needed to be touched to make it last as long as possible.
"Scarlett," he panted as he still moved in me, but reality slowed down now. His breaths were hard and labored but the look in his eyes said it all. He loved me.
He cupped my face, and I felt his body tense up as he whispered my name again, but this time it sounded like a prayer as he found his own release inside of me. Warmth flooded me, his sex draining out between my legs, and his lips covered mine again. I whimpered and bit his lower lip, then clawed at his butt pulling him in deep. He pushed in hard, and I wrapped my legs around his hips and locked my feet. I wanted him in there, to stay inside me, to make me feel full and whole and safe. All of my anxiety was gone when we were like this, when life felt stable.
"Mmm," he grunted, and he forced me to unlock my feet so he could pull away. I whimpered again, and followed as he rolled to the side, and I curled into his chest.
"I don't want it to be over…" I whispered, and I felt his smile as he kissed my forehead.
"I can't go all night, silly."
"I meant the closeness…I want to stay like this forever, where I feel safe." I spoke into his chest and he pulled me in closer. Nothing in the world felt right unless I was with him, and then nothing in the world felt out of place. I knew this was what was meant to be. It was probably always meant to be, and I was foolish and hid from it before. There was no more hiding now. I was going to tell him I loved him, and then I was going to tell him about Ethan.
"Nick, can we talk?" I asked, pulling back slightly.
"Of course…" He sighed and backed away a little farther. "But first I should check on Ethan. Then I'm all yours."
He was right. I nodded as he pulled away and got dressed though he left his shirt untucked. I rolled to my back as he walked into the living room and I stared up at the patterned ceiling swirls. I still felt uneasy about telling Nick about Ethan, but I knew it was the right thing. Or maybe it wasn't. I wrestled because I was torn.
I wanted him to know but I didn't want it to destroy our relationship. And now I played a thousand scenarios in my mind—telling Nick the truth, telling him I didn't know who Ethan's father was and that it could be him since we had that one-night stand, or just keeping it a secret entirely. Nothing felt right. Especially not the guilt and shame. I just knew when he was in me and I was against his body I needed him to know. Then he put space between us and I got scared.
"Scarlett!" Nick's shout sent dread to my heart. I raced for my night robe and threw it on as I dashed into the living room to see Nick on the phone. "I've called an ambulance. Get dressed. His heart rate isn't safe and he's hypoxic again."
I ran toward Ethan but Nick barked, "Get dressed," before he returned to his call, spouting off numbers and words I didn't understand.
I was startled by his sudden demand, but I ran to do what he told me anyway. He was the professional and I was the terrified mother. I threw my clothes on as fast as I could and noticed the time was 10 p.m. I had to be up at three to start baking and this was happening again. We had a huge order for Easter Sunday too…
My heart was in a complete panic, and all I could do was listen to Nick's orders as he started telling me what to do while he hovered over Ethan. I got water, hot compresses, ice, and tears—lots and lots of hysterical tears. I should've been watching Ethan not indulging in sex for comfort.
When the ambulance showed up Nick took charge and gave the EMTs orders too. I managed to shoot Nellie a message telling her I was going to the ER and this time it was scary, and I let Nick usher me to his car. All the while I was praying that God wouldn't take my baby so soon.