Chapter 21
JUNIPER
Tenley Graves
Where have you been, girl? We miss you.
Slammed. Miss you girls too. What’s new?
Tenley Graves
Oh…you know. Just raising a feral boy over here. Slowly dying in dirt and piss all over my bathroom floor. They say I’ll miss these days but I don’t see it. Haha.
If you ever need a break…you know where to find me…
Tenley Graves
DO NOT TEMPT ME WITH A GOOD TIME, DR. WILDE
I’m serious.
Tenley Graves
August is thrilled. Already told him. Oh, btw. You should come to the game tonight. For once, I get to be a bystander and watch. Kodi and Navy are working but I’m cooler so who cares!
That’s right. I remember Crew mentioning the game at some point yesterday. The whole day felt like equal parts a blur and a fabricated dream. A very good dream. One I’d love to relive again, please.
Home game?
Tenley Graves
Sure is.
Okay. I’ll come.
Tenley Graves
Well, that didn’t take much convincing…
See you there, Tenley.
Tenley Graves
We’re VIP so call me when you park. I’ll sneak you in through the clubhouse.
And to think it only took me thirty-two years to be somebody.
Looks like I’m going to a Strikers game tonight. And without my right-hand woman, Val. She’s busy. I know this. But god, I’m going to miss her wingwoman skills and ability to talk to a wall when I can’t.
I guess I’m also afraid to be left alone with Crew, knowing good and well Tenley will encourage it. Not prevent it. It’s not like she knows what happened at Boone yesterday.
Hell, Crew disinfected every inch of the kitchen, likely leaving zero remains of our heated kiss. And what a kiss it was.
The selfish part of me wishes I had the nerve to ask him to switch doctors so that I could be a part of his and Addie’s lives in a more permanent way. But Addie is finally thriving. I won’t take credit for it; I just used my knowledge to give her the proper resources.
Crew and Hilary are the ones who have advocated for her to get here. To this point of success despite her difference.
Because that’s exactly what it is. She has a difference. There’s no hindrance or malfunction to the design of how perfectly that little girl was created. If anything, ADHD makes Addie brighter than the rest.
Kicking myself into gear, I run through my mental to-do list for the day, knowing I have only a handful of hours to get stuff done until the game.
On my off time from work, I’ve been meeting Hilary for yoga, spending time with Wynonna and Jed, and working on some house projects.
It’s wild to think I’ve already lived in Atlanta for almost three months now.
So much has changed—I’ve changed.
One thing, though, that hasn’t is my relationship with my parents. And as much as I’m trying to be here without worrying about them, it’s impossible not to. I just wish they would visit. Even if it’s just for a day or two and see that I’m safe and happy. That would mean everything to me.
Missing them, I decide to text my mom, knowing she’s likely at work and will see the message when she gets off.
I’ve got some free weekends coming up. Any chance you reconsidered visiting? I’d love to have you and Dad. There’s a really great craft style restaurant here you guys would love.
I set my phone on the kitchen counter and exhale. I’m trying, and that’s what counts. They’ll come around eventually. Taking a look at the clock, I now have a total of two hours until I’m supposed to meet Tenley at the field for the Strikers game.
After working all day, I came right home to shower. I’ve got just enough time to do my hair and makeup, get dressed, and hopefully stuff my face with greasy food in order to get through tonight.
Here goes nothing.
“Ready to reap the benefits of being my friend?”
“Let’s see it, Ten. I’m here for the full Strikers experience.”
“Atta girl,” she hypes, steering us through the Strikers clubhouse, and what a clubhouse it is.
I’m not sure what I pictured it looking like, but it definitely wasn’t luxury.
My only experience with baseball is neglected and severely run-down dugouts, fields that were never maintained, and an outdoor bathroom that provides shelter for the unhoused at night.
Makers Park is extravagant without a single detail missed.
High-end wood accents the space with black walls and player memorabilia showcased from years past. Leather furniture and wool rugs litter the space that looks like a makeshift locker room, but frankly, bougier.
And it’s impossible to miss the team portraits lining the jet-black walls as we near the stadium entrance. I spot Callaway Hayes, Bodhi St. James, August Graves, Kingston Baylor, Mack Manning, and the Suburban Daddy himself—Crew Briggs.
His face is stoic and reserved, per usual, the same look he keeps contained around anyone who isn’t important to him. It’s still undecided if I’d consider myself lucky for it, but his dimpled smiles and deathly striking looks are almost always used on me.
The idea of saying screw it and being with him wrestles my thoughts more often than not lately. I think I may have convinced myself that there’s nothing harmless in being with someone you care about. Even if Crew has a million and one obstacles in his life right now.
That reminds me of my date this Friday night.
The date Val set me up on that I really don’t want to entertain, but feel obligated to.
Maybe it’s my twisted way of hoping this guy will be extra special.
Special enough to erase my feelings for Crew and make our entire back-and-forth situationship simpler.
Nonexistent. But that sounds too painful to bear.
Recomposing myself, I follow Tenley through the double-wide doors and feel an overwhelming sense of awe from the cheers and cries of the crowd. Fans are covered in black and yellow with signs and body paint to express their love for this team.
The difference between now and the last time I was here is that I know #37.
I know he smells like the woods and citrus combined.
I know that he towers over me even in heels.
I know what he tastes like. I know how wholesome and full his laugh sounds—the laugh he shares when he genuinely finds something funny and isn’t trying to be polite.
I know the joy that beams from him when his daughter comes into view.
The light that shines across his face as if every storm in his life has finally settled.
Being back at Makers Park feels personal now.
And I think that counts for something. What, exactly? I’m not quite sure, but I’m open to finding out.
“Junie. Babe. You good?” Tenley breaks me from my trance, following her on autopilot.
I shake my head. “Yeah. Sorry. Just taken aback, I guess.”
“It’s like a drug,” she notes, smiling wide as we follow the steps leading…somewhere. I really have no idea where we’re going, but it’s definitely to a place not just anyone can go. Two flights of stairs lead us down toward a security guard she slips a password to, proving just how VIP it truly is.
“I’m gathering that.” I smirk, a rush of adrenaline and buzz building in my chest. I have to hold back a squeal the moment we enter another set of glass doors that’s labeled “Player Entrance” in black lettering.
I get to see Crew.
“I need to smooch my man before gametime, then we can go to the Bourbon Booths.”
“Bourbon Booths? What’s that?”
“It’s a spot for family and friends of the players above the dugout. Essentially a field box. Think bigger seats, unlimited food and drinks, and front-row access to the hottest players in the game.”
My stomach churns, and not in a sour way. God, I’m smitten. Tenley sees it, too. “Don’t worry, Crew will be close by.”
I can’t hide the blush on my cheeks or the alarm in my eyes. “Oh, I don’t need to see Crew. Just saw him the other day. No biggie.” I wave Tenley off, doing a terrible job at playing it cool.
“Pause,” she interjects, halting our bodies abruptly before we round the final corner. “Look at me, Juniper.”
“I’m looking at you.” I nod, unable to help myself from noticing how stunning Tenley Graves is. Bright blonde hair tied in French braids, blue eyes, and tattoos. She’s a badass.
“Great. Now, don’t just look at me, listen, too.”
“Listening,” I repeat.
“Stop trying to hide your feelings from me. Okay? Frankly, I don’t give a shit what you do for a living.
As long as you’re cool people and kind to the people I love, you could be a garbage man for all I care.
And if you want to fall madly in love with Crew, then fucking do it.
Take it from someone who pushed love away for too long.
I was an idiot. All that time I could have had the best thing.
It’s so much better with hot sex and a guy who’s everything to you. I regret being so stubborn.”
She’s smarter than I gave her credit for.
I relax, unexpected relief welling inside me.
I’m so tired of pretending not to be crazy about him.
But even so, it’s not that simple. “I don’t know how to do this, Tenley.
I like him. Pretty sure I more than like him.
I won’t pretend not to anymore. But there’s so many reasons this would never work.
More than the fact that I’m Addie’s doctor. ”
Her hands meet my arms, and I feel her care in a tangible way. “There are always other doctors. But there’s only one true love. Fuck, I sound like a little bitch,” she laughs, shaking off her tenderness to replace it with strength.
My lips quirk. “I know, but god, Tenley, Crew is planning to retire. The whole point of that is to focus on Addie. To invest more time in Boone. And now he has an injury that takes up time as well, not to mention if he ends up needing surgery. It’s all just a lot.”
“Let me ask you something,” she retorts, ushering me to focus.
“Have you talked to Crew about any of this? Have you sat down and asked him if seeing someone right now would be too much? Because from where I’m standing, I think adding you into the mix of their chaos sounds like exactly what that little family needs. ”
“What makes you so sure?”
“I’ve known Crew for a long time. Met him when Addie was a little tiny thing. She has always been his entire world and then some. He’s an incredible dad. But what most people don’t know is that there was a short period of time—and by short, I mean very, very short—when he pursued Navy.”
“No way,” I gasp. “Crew and Navy?”
Tenley nods, a slow smile revealing itself.
“Yep. It didn’t last because it was always supposed to be her and Bodhi in the end.
But during it all, not once did I ever see Crew give up.
He took Navy’s rejection in stride and refused to believe there wasn’t someone special out there for him.
Life has just been life-ing lately, babe.
He’s gone through some shit and is used to doing it alone.
In no way does that mean it’s by choice. ”
I never really thought about that.
Anytime Crew and I have come remotely close to mentioning there being an “us,” he reflects on Addie’s circumstances and the fact that I’m her doctor. And the last thing I want is to be another person someone doesn’t want around. Or worse, the person forgotten.
But I guess that makes sense. From his stance, he’s finally seeing his daughter succeed and flourish into her best self. I’m sure there’s a fear that comes with tainting that. I feel the same way about my reputation as a professional.
But god, he has no idea what seeing that little Queen of Emerald City thrive means to me.
“I don’t know what to do,” I sigh while Tenley pulls me in for a hug.
“Just don’t give up on him, okay? It’s the twenty-first century, and nothing is as taboo as it used to be. Besides, sometimes, men need a little bit of a push to realize what they truly want.”
I pull back to look at her, searching for answers I’m hoping to find. “You really think what Crew wants is me? I can’t afford to be hurt, Tenley. Especially by Crew. It’s not just him I’d lose. It’s Addie, too. I adore her.”
“I really do, babe.”
“He’s seen me date other people.”
Her brows shoot up. “I almost forgot about that. Did he lose his noodle?”
I laugh. “I guess you could say that.”
Tenley lifts a finger, clearly an idea suddenly coming to her. “You need to run with that, Juniper. I’m assuming you have another date planned?”
“Yes, on Friday, actually. But after we kissed, I thought about can—”
“You what?” she blurts, and I cover her mouth with my hand, searching our surroundings for anyone listening.
“Would you shush?” I beg on a harsh whisper.
Tenley shimmies her shoulders, preparing to speak calmly. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It was just the little comment about you and Crew kissing that about sent me!” She’s yelling again, but I don’t have the energy to correct her.
“Yes. Okay. We kissed. It was hot and a spur-of-the-moment thing, and we both promised it would never happen again.”
“And why the hell not?”
“Because of everything.” I wave my hands around chaotically. “Must I really explain myself again?”
“Forget I asked.” Her wheels are spinning, and I’m not gonna lie, this side of Tenley makes me love her even more. She’s passionate. “You need to give Crew something to be tempted by. And scrubs ain’t it, baby girl. Something sexy as hell, and make him work for it.”
Nerves trample me. “Tenley. I don’t know about this. You seriously think he’ll come around?”
“Trust me,” she reassures. “We can plan the details later. Let’s go see our favorite boys before the game starts without us.”
With jitters tangled in my stomach, I agree and brace myself for what lies ahead. In more ways than one. I hear the team in the distance, rambunctious and riled up to play hard, while the beeping of my phone steals my attention.
Mom
Let me talk to your father.
Oh my god. That wasn’t a yes, but it also wasn’t a no.
I type out a quick response.
Wonderful. I really hope you can come, Mom. Love you.
Mom
Love you too. Let’s video chat soon.
Progress. That’s progress. I’ll take it.