Chapter 28
28
ERIC
Five Years Ago:
It figures that I can finally legally drink, but I have zero desire to do so. Yesterday was my twenty first birthday, and just to hold to my life’s shitty pattern, midterms. I know I aced them all, but it’s still hard to fight off the adrenaline crash after testing.
“Bi-Polar disorder with Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD” is my official diagnosis. It took crashing my car into the fountain for my father to finally recognize that I, in fact, needed those pills that my high school tutor Miss Melanie was getting for me. She thought she was giving me a bit of extra focus, but in reality she was helping my brain function closer to normal than it ever had before.
Unfortunately, my father took it to the extreme and had his family doctor over-medicate me. I was a fucking zombie for my last two years of high school into my freshman year of college. Much to my father’s dismay, the medications did not cure the gay away even if they did take away all of the joy from my life.
After having to visit the clinic on campus for a case of strep throat, I found out that I don’t have to go through my father’s physicians to get my medical care. Through the assistance of some friends in the dorm, I found out about free clinics all over the county for people who do not have insurance. While I could easily afford to pay the fees associated with care, my father’s accountant would surely flag the purchase and it would defeat the purpose of seeking my own care.
The next week, I sought out an independent, low cost psychologist and have been in control of my medications ever since. It has taken me almost two years to get my meds properly adjusted to where I feel like a normal human being, and now I’m going to be able to get into some night clubs to truly live for the first time in my life.
“Yo! King!”
I lift my head from the arm of the sofa where I was sprawled out waiting for my roommate to finish with his girlfriend upstairs. Felix throws his backpack onto the floor and holds his hand out for one of those weird bro hand slap shake things. Reaching my hand up, I let him do whatever he wants before he collapses into the ratty old leather recliner next to the stairs.
The guys who hang around with my roommate have taken to calling me “King” lately. Felix apparently fell asleep with the television on and when he woke up it was on a show about the Old Norse meanings of names. Apparently, Eric translates into the sole ruler, so he started to call me King and it just caught on within this crowd. I kinda like it.
“You coming to the party tonight?” he asks as he pulls off his hoodie to reveal the muscles underneath. I swallow the saliva that pools in my mouth before I start drooling and give myself away. One good thing about my current cocktail of medications is that I don’t get spontaneous boners anymore.
“Um, I don’t think so,” I say as the sounds of the squeaky bedframe increase in frequency. “Steve and Jen are probably gonna call it a night after this, so it looks like the dorm and some alone time for me tonight.”
Felix reaches over to shake my shoulder and the heat of his hand makes me forget the meds for a second while I have to force my dick to cooperate. These guys don’t know I’m gay. No one at school knows except for Jen, and I only told her so she’d stop trying to set me up with her friends.
“You got me and the boys, dude! You need to get out and have fun for once in your life. Make Daddy’s money pay to cover up a scandal or something. You need to get out there and meet more people than just us.”
What Felix doesn’t know is that I do technically have friends outside of him and his roommates. The three guys and two girls who share this house are far from my only friends, well more like acquaintances really. I only have maybe one friend, if he will still talk to me. Spencer and I haven’t really spoken since my high school graduation party. We ended up at different schools, so I kinda lost my only real friend.
“Yeah, okay,” I begrudgingly agree. “I guess it won’t hurt to go hang out with some new people. What’s the party?”
Felix leans forward as I sit up and starts to fill me in on the details. I’m not going to get changed or anything, but he decides to run up and shower before we leave. As predicted, Steve and Jen stay behind while I head off to a party, squashed into the backseat of a 2009 Chevrolet Aveo between Felix and his currently off again girlfriend Tiffany. The long ride ends well after I wanted it to, and I’m surprised to see the party is not in Oakland, but well away from the campus in a neighborhood I know I have never even seen. I think my watch alone is worth more than some of these houses.
“Where are we?” I ask Tiff when Felix and the others pour into the house. I think the only reason she is still at the car is because she doesn’t want to walk in with her ex.
“It’s a party house for the hockey team,” she tells me, hooking her arm in mine to pull me up the walk. “They can’t get caught drinking on campus or the coach will kick them off the team, so one of the alumni bought this house for them to go nuts in exchange for continuing to win championships.”
Walking in the front door, I’m hit with a wall of sound and ugh… smell. Tiff giggles at the look on my face which I can only assume is conveying the sheer disgust I feel regarding such a pungent aroma.
“The point is to get extremely drunk so you stop caring about the smell,” she yells to be heard over the music. “Hockey sweat is somehow so much worse than any other sport funk, but I would get railed by any member of the team cuz FFFFUUUUCK are those boys F.I.N.E. fine.”
Throwing my head back, I let loose a laugh that I haven’t felt in a while. Tiff just pulls me farther into the house to the kitchen and grabs drinks for the both of us. I wave the cup away from me and she cocks an eyebrow in question.
Leaning in close to her ear, I tell her I can’t mix alcohol with my meds. When I stand up straight again, I look down at her surprised face. I guess I don’t really advertise that I take medications, but is it really all that shocking in this day and age that someone is medicated for something? This is the age of prescription throwbacks for doctors after all.
Tiff pulls me down so she can whisper into my ear, like she doesn’t want anyone else to listen in.
“Don’t freak out or anything if I’m wrong, but I think you just pinged my gay-dar.”
I can’t even stand up before I start laughing uncontrollably. Resting my forehead on Tiffany’s shoulder, I let loose all of my tension and relax into the idea that it’s not the end of the world if people find out at this point. I was out in high school. I can finally free myself of the last of my father’s shackles and be the real me for my senior year of college.
“Yeah, you’re not wrong,” I tell her as I pour some Sprite into a cup from the counter full of mixers. “Let’s go check out some cute hockey butts while you get wasted, and I’ll be your sober eyes so you don’t have to worry about beer goggles tonight.”