Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
SOFIA
S ofia had heard others talk about their body taking over when they were angry and she’d even experienced that herself before, but what had happened in the cell was different. She hadn’t felt a part of her body as she’d clawed at the Dereyan with his cocky smirk.
So when Javi and Flor finally dragged her away, fingers nearly bruising around her arms, she was almost happy. It was Flor who finally brought Sofia back to herself, pressing a kiss to her forehead before pushing her into the icy waters of the lake at the entrance to the cenote.
The water was a shock to her system and she slowly came back to herself, feeling Javi and Flor as they splashed her, cleaning away the shit and mud that was smeared across her body. They were standing in the water with her, both shivering with cold.
“Breathe, breathe,” Flor said. The words were murmured into her hair even as she realized she was hyperventilating. She wiped away the tears on her face and pulled back from Flor, looking over her shoulder to the pale Javi.
“I’m sorry.” The words came out in a rasp, barely intelligible, but Javi looked relieved to even hear that. Flor squeezed her into a tight hug before pulling back, hands cupping Sofia’s face as she studied it.
“You’re okay?”
Sofia nodded and Flor led Javi and her to the large bonfire that was burning on the shore. If there had been others sitting there before, they were gone now, leaving the three of them alone. The heat of the flames burned against her numbed skin, but she savored the pain.
“Then what in the gods’ scales were you thinking?” Flor growled out, her teeth chattering with cold. “I can’t believe you made me witness that! You made me an accomplice.”
“Micael won’t?—”
“That’s not the point! You can’t lose yourself like that. My gods, we could have been caught just trying to leave the city with you in that shape.” Flor’s voice was louder and more strained than Sofia had ever heard it before. For all the trouble the two of them had gotten into over the cycles, it had never been the two of them facing off against each other.
“What happened in there?” Javi said, pushing in between them. “Someone explain to me what I just came into.”
Flor spoke first. “Sari is dead. The chief commander practically announced he couldn’t be open to a trade and killed four Dragonborn in the process.”
Javi’s face went pale and Flor seemed to notice her mistake immediately.
“Dia wasn’t there.”
“But she will be if we don’t act,” Sofia said, grinding the words out between clenched teeth. She hated the blanched fear on Javi’s face, but she couldn’t soften the blow. The chief commander would kill every single Dragonborn in the prison whether or not they gave Ocon back.
“We need to tell Micael,” Javi said, voice strained. “We need to release Junior Sergeant Ocon back to them before they execute anyone else.”
“Didn’t you hear me?” Sofia said, her eyes burning in firelight. The flames only made the shadows stretch longer, painting their faces in shades of black and gray. She preferred it that way, the darkness softened the pain in Javi’s eyes. “He’ll kill them no matter what. That Dereyan bastard in there is only an excuse.”
Javi’s body crumpled at her words and Flor moved to hold him up before he fell.
“If we can get into the prison?—”
She didn’t finish the sentence as the click of boots moved around the corner from the area beyond.
“Sofia Maria Suarez,” Micael’s voice was more bark than order. “Unless you have information to prove that man was conceiving a plan to kill us all in our sleep, then you better start begging my forgiveness.”
It wasn’t the voice of a fatherly figure or even a mentor. It was the order of the commander of the resistance movement and Sofia’s superior.
“I—”
“Sir, there were extenuating circumstances. You can’t blame her,” Flor said, moving to stand next to her.
Sofia stepped forward to block her attempt.
“No one else is to blame for my actions in there, sir. I—we—” she couldn’t quite get the words out.
“Sofia, I have no doubt that you are fully responsible for what just happened in there.”
Micael’s voice was never particularly warm. His care was often given with cold consideration and distant approval. But the ice that threaded through his words now was something Sofia hadn’t heard before. There wasn’t even the heat of anger. Just icy cold resolve as he stood, glowering down at her.
“I’m sorry,” she said, taking a second to collect herself when her voice cracked. “Whatever I can do to apologize and fix my mistakes. You know how I feel about—I shouldn’t have acted without permission.”
“Sir, we have news from the city,” Flor said, this time managing to shoulder Sofia out of her way.
“Flor—” Sofia had no idea what she planned to say. She just didn’t want to be here for this.
“Micael,” Flor continued, voice softening. It was that gentleness that had Micael’s eyes snapping from Sofia and meeting Flor’s. He knew what she was about to say before she said it, yet they all held their breaths as if the words might come out differently than they knew they would.
“The king ordered an execution today. Sari was—Sari and three others…”
Micael gave a careful nod, saving Flor from finishing the sentence.
“And Dia?” he said, looking at Javi.
“Still in the prison from what we gathered,” Sofia said.
Micael didn’t speak again for another minute and they stood, carved in stone. None of them wanted to break the moment—wanted to accidentally break the man who had always seemed so steady in the face of all the horrors they’d witnessed. But even in the flickering light, Sofia saw the sheen of emotion in his eyes. He shook his head, and Sofia flinched at the sudden movement.
“You’re done,” he said, eyes boring into her own. Sofia’s world dropped out from under her. “You’re off active duty. You’re citybound until we have some space to fix your mistakes and decide on our next steps.”
“Sir, if we can get into the prison. If he can get us in there?—”
“No,” Micael said, no longer looking at her. “We continue with the plan.”
“They’re going to kill everyone!”
“Then that will be on my shoulders, not yours. Pack your things. I want you gone tomorrow.”
“But…”
But what could she say? How she’d already screwed up? How she had nowhere in the city to go back to? How she thought she might die if she was forced to be trapped in the city once more?
She settled on saying, “You can’t keep me from the rainforest.”
“No,” he said, eyes narrowing, “I suppose I can’t. But you’re no longer welcome in the cenote until I decide otherwise.”
“Micael,” Flor started, but he raised his hand before she could say more, a clear indication that he was done listening to them. Sofia might have accused anyone else of being dramatic as he turned on his heels and left, but he was grieving and she knew that anguish well. He left them standing silently and looking at each other.
It was Sofia who moved first, taking the turns back to their rooms with her head down. She thought she saw some of the others watching them from the dining area, but she didn’t dare acknowledge them. Her shame was burning bright and hot in her chest, even as her still damp clothes clung to her body.
Back at their rooms, she fell against the wall where her bedroll was wrapped up, waiting for her since she’d left the cenote last week. Would it still be here in two weeks or two blinks from now when Micael let her back? If he let her back. If she survived being trapped in the city again, homeless, jobless.
And if she did survive? Nothing would change. The king would still think himself a god and the Dragonborn the mud to be scraped from his boot.
“He’s not just the general’s son. He knows the chief commander. He could get us into Harlow’s home.”
Flor shook her head. “No. No. You are not going down this road again. Killing the chief commander is a suicide mission.”
“It’s not just that,” Sofia said, looking between Javi and Flor. She took a breath. It had been a few cycles since they’d truly argued, but she knew exactly what their last argument had been. “If the chief commander still has the books on the dragons...”
Javi’s eyes went dark and his lips pressed together, but it was Flor who spoke, face going pink.
“Gods, Sofia, we’ve been through this. The dragons are gone. They’re dead and they aren’t coming back no matter how many books you read.”
She shook her head. “You both know the stories same as me. Plenty of legends speak of the dragons disappearing before they were killed off.”
“Key word: disappeared,” Flor said. She grasped Sofia by the shoulders, forcing her friend to look at her. “This is not going to convince Micael to welcome you back with open arms. Do you hear me? You don’t say this shit out loud. You don’t let the others hear that you’re even still thinking of the dragons. You know what Micael said last time.”
Sofia bit her lip, tearing her eyes away from Flor’s own pleading ones. Javi was looking at her with the same desperation, though, and she could only stare down at her feet. The last time Micael had heard her talking of dragons he’d sent her back into the city for two blinks and hadn’t let her back in until she promised not to spread rumors about dead gods.
“He already hates me,” she muttered.
“I’m sure he’ll cool down soon and everything will be fine.” Javi, ever the optimist, wrapped an arm around Sofia as he sat. “You’ll be back at the inn for a few weeks at most.”
Flor was still looking down at him, her lips sharply tilted down. “It’s not that easy.”
“What does that mean?” Javi asked, looking at Sofia when Flor raised an eyebrow at her.
“I was fired from the inn today—” yesterday? She had no idea what time it was. “I don’t have anywhere to go back to in the city.”
“I’m sure we can find something else,” he said. “I’m not letting you end up on the streets again.”
“I was lucky enough Frankie took a chance on hiring me, but no one wants a smart-mouthed Dragonborn with a traitor’s mark on her wrist.”
“I can see about getting you a job with me on the docks. It’s not easy work, but it’s good pay. I can speak on your behalf.”
Sofia wished she could feel hope in the idea, but Javi’s boss was just as likely to fire him for associating with a marked traitor as to hire her. Still, she wasn’t the small child who first ended up on the streets without a family or home. She could do better this time. She would survive no matter what.
“You’re not alone this time,” Flor said, as if reading her thoughts. “Just don’t talk about dragons.”
Sofia could only nod. She knew if she opened her mouth, she’d crack and she’d cry more and they didn’t need to see her break down again. They needed her to smile and tell them she’d be okay. They’d be okay.
So that’s what she did. And whether or not they believed her didn’t matter as they sat together in the dim room, holding to each other until it became clear they’d fall asleep this way if they let themselves. So they rolled out their bedrolls, blew out the lantern, and curled up together. Flor and Sofia had slept like this when they’d been on the streets together, pressed against each other for warmth and protection. It had become habit by the time Javi joined them, simply slipping into the warmth without question. Even as they aged and came to the age that others might frown and think it inappropriate, they often slept like this. But it was never anything beyond the simple protection of having their family as close as possible and ready to chase away the ghosts of the night.
Yet, as the rhythms of their breathing lulled Sofia into sleep and the darkness swept over her, she dreamed of the dragons and death, and a loneliness so deep she felt she might drown in it.