Chapter 3 #4
I screamed my frustration. “Reward me with a crystal horse figurine every time I win a race so I can gloat over how I took a thousand dollar horse to the Triple Crown. Make it expensive enough you cry acquiring the stone and having it cut. There. I can have a custom trophy room of my conquests, and I will smile every time I go into it knowing I made the Devil cry.”
“That’s a little better. Excellent effort.
Also, I will handle your truck and trailer needs.
You worry about setting up your pastures for your new acquisitions and conditioning Alligator Bait.
I recommend you go to the feed store tomorrow, by the way.
They have unwanted pullets with bumblefoot who could use some tender loving care from you. Spare your car and bring a box.”
What was a few more chickens? I’d be rolling in eggs, but such was life. “What breed?”
“One is a frizzle, which you will love because of her absolute uselessness. She will be a barn chicken, as she is spoiled. She will rarely lay eggs for you, and to your horror, the eggs she does lay will be fertile because you’ll ultimately get a rooster with the appropriate genes, as you will be charmed by their absolute uselessness.
I warn you now, you will be surrounded with useless frizzles by the time you are done.
The rest will be productive, and you’ll be providing yourself with excellent meat chickens in time.
You’ll appreciate that when the dragon does come calling. His feed bill is atrocious.”
I bet, especially as the only dragon I had any confirmation existed had wiped out three cities and devoured the ash. “Well, if you want any eggs, I’m sure I’ll have plenty,” I said, allowing my despair over the situation to enter my tone. “I’m going to need to get more cartons.”
“What eggs you can’t use, I will have someone come get so they can do good elsewhere. Also, you know the quiet mouse up your lane?”
I had several quiet neighbors, all of whom received some of my bounty. After a few moments of thought, I suspected he meant the young widow three doors down with a slice of property touching the lake. “You mean Ashley?”
“I do.”
“What about her?”
“She could use extra eggs and fruit. She’s depressed because of her husband’s death, and your gifts keep her holding on. It’s the only purpose she has right now outside of her work, and her work is just something she does to pay the bills.”
My heart hurt for the woman, who had lost her husband a few months before I’d moved in. “I had no idea.”
“That’s what she wants, because she doesn’t want to be a burden. Not even Isaac can get through to her right now, and he likes her because she’s one of those kind souls that brightens the world around her on virtue of her existence.”
Well, if she needed a purpose, there were always chores needing done around my place, and I had zero issues with pretending I could use some help. “I’ll see if I can talk to her. You did say I needed a groom, right?”
Lucifer sighed. “She wasn’t the one I had in mind, but you know? A horse as fabulous as yours clearly deserves two grooms.”
“Well, I do have three horses I’ll be hauling, so two grooms makes sense. I’ll talk to her. And if I run myself straight into the poor house doing this, well, it is for a good cause.”
“That it is. I’ll leave you to your scheming.
Good luck, choose your races wisely, and make certain you give at least six weeks between races so she can rest and recover.
Also, review the rules on medical interventions permitted on two and three year old racers.
You’ll find an excellent loophole you can utilize to optimize Alligator Bait’s chances of winning. ”
I didn’t need to review the rules; I’d already done so, having spotted the one way owners could give their two year olds a leg up.
“Angels may correct any physical issues in a thoroughbred due to early riding without disqualification from the races,” I replied with a smile.
“I won’t lie to you, Lucifer. I am already planning on using a significant amount of purse money paying for the treatments.
She wants to race, and she deserves to have a comfortable and happy retirement after she races. ”
“I think you will find an offensive number of angels will be willing to work on your horse without breaking your bank. Excellent job doing your due diligence. Now, your only assignment is to work on being selfish. Good luck, you’re going to need it.
Remember, I will issue you bonuses if you are not sufficiently selfish. ”
Before I could protest, the Devil hung up on me. I muttered some curses and shook my head. “Nobody warned me the Devil was crazy.”
Still, I appreciated his guidance despite his status as batshit insane, so I’d even spare a few minutes thinking about how to be selfish. I questioned the necessity of the exercise, however.
I’d been plenty selfish waiting for the price of my heaven to drop as low as it had and felt I had engaged in a lifetime’s worth of poor behavior over having goosed the previous owner so badly.
As long as I didn’t mind a dragon looming on the horizon, things were going great, and I’d enjoy it while it lasted.