Chapter 11
ELEVEN
“Deal with him, my lovelies.”
I questioned how a shoulder dragon, the Devil, the Heir of Hell, and the Heir’s husband managed to destroy my barn in the time it had taken me to walk down the street and deliver eggs.
I tapped my foot, eyeballing the wreckage.
Somehow, the stalls remained somewhat intact—but only the ones I’d upgraded.
Everything else had been reduced to rubble.
The dragon’s position, underneath said rubble, indicated he’d somehow been involved with the demolition derby.
However, Kanika’s position, standing on her father’s back while attempting to stomp the hell right out of him, indicated the Devil bore most of the responsibility.
I tapped my foot, wondering where I’d house my horses for the night, if my gear had survived, and where I’d get an entire new barn in a hurry.
If Lucifer wanted to behave as a child, he would be treated as a child. Considering he tested my patience, I assumed the Heir of Hell had attempted to do the world a favor through getting rid of him. My poor barn had gotten in the way, resulting in a mess I would need to clean.
I closed my eyes and breathed until the urge to join Kanika in attempted murder subsided.
Pretending I wasn’t on the edge of engaging in a beatdown of my guests, I went to work freeing the dragon from his predicament.
Fortunately for him, he seemed to have emerged unscathed, and I patted his head.
“Go back to wherever it is dragons go when they aren’t terrorizing their home turf.
I will deal with the hellish infestation plaguing my property. ”
The dragon wisely bolted for freedom, flying off in the direction of his castle.
Because I had a mean streak a mile wide, I did as I’d been instructed and whistled for War.
If the Red Horse of War couldn’t issue the message the remaining trio was about to pay for their crimes, they’d learn soon enough.
Apparently, the Four Horses of the Apocalypse believed in solidarity, as the quartet made an appearance, lining up in a nice neat row. I pointed at the Devil. “Deal with him, my lovelies, and when you’re done, come back here for some treats, a grooming, and some pasture time.”
Lucifer spat curses and vanished, and the Four Horses of the Apocalypse took chase, likewise disappearing.
“I swear,” I muttered, and I eyed the Heir of Hell, who fought to catch her breath. As I doubted I would get anything sensible out of her, I eyed her husband. “Care to explain why I no longer have a barn?”
“I believe he wants to offer an excuse for the gentleman you met at the feed store to come over and help with the rebuild,” Malcolm replied, and he scratched at his temple.
“Honestly, I’m not sure why he didn’t just suggest an extension, but according to him, the building is one hurricane away from a disaster, and he doesn’t want to deal with any more women crying over lost livestock. ”
“Did he call my fish livestock again?” Darlene growled.
“He really did. Sorry, Mom,” Kanika said, and she straightened and dusted herself off.
Then the dark-haired woman pointed at a section of rubble.
“My asshole of a father demonstrated his point through conjuring a gust of particularly strong wind against the support beam there, and the whole thing came tumbling down. He knew it would come tumbling down, so he made certain nothing hurt your animals. He forgot he needed to warn everyone else, so the dragon took a ceiling, but he’s a dragon, so he’ll be fine.
Malcolm clued in on what was going to happen and tossed my ass out onto the yard. ”
All right. I dealt with the Devil, and it seemed he couldn’t handle charitable acts without being a jackass about it. “Does ‘he broke it, he bought it’ apply here?”
Kanika nodded. “You’re a minion, so yes. He’ll be a tyrant and a menace about how he goes about it.” Her expression grew rather concerned. “Assuming he survives what you just did to him.” Her eyes widened, and she regarded her mother. “Is he going to survive?”
Darlene’s brows furrowed. “Well, I hope so. But if he doesn’t, well, is it really a big loss right now?”
The women spent a disturbingly long time contemplating if they liked Lucifer enough to mourn his premature demise.
Once again, I turned to Malcolm in hopes of some sanity. “Did Lucifer have the decency to move my saddles before he went on his destruction derby?”
Kanika’s husband pointed over to a corner of the barn where my tack room used to be. Rather than my tack, I had a pile of debris to contend with. “Were your saddles there?”
“I’m afraid so.”
Malcolm grimaced. “I’m sorry. A lot of the structure collapsed that way.”
I twitched. “It took me four months to get David’s saddle in, and it cost me thousands upon thousands of dollars.”
“I’m going to miss my husband should you actually manage to kill him,” Darlene informed me.
“Would buying you replacement saddles help? Actually, we can probably get you serviceable tack in the next day or two. I’ll recruit the in-laws.
They love making saddles, bridles, and other things for horses.
Just be warned, you might end up with parade tack for all your animals. ”
I bowed my head and considered luring Mr. Magic the Bold over and feeding the Devil to him.
“Send the bill to the Devil, and I might need to be restrained once I start clearing out the rubble.” In good news for me, the horses and cattle wouldn’t mind outdoor life.
Their pastures all had shelters to protect them from the sun and the rain.
I’d have to replace their feed and treats, but I could cope with those problems. “Bill him extra. I’m pretty sure the barn was historic. ”
Darlene eyed the skeletal remnants of the building.
“It was, but we’ll handle filing the paperwork that it collapsed due to structural faults.
You will get a bigger, better barn—or possibly two barns, one for your cattle and one for your horses.
Perhaps with a connecting pathway for tack and supplies shared between the barns? ”
“If I’m not footing the bill or dealing with the permits, I don’t care.
You know what? If anyone needs me, I’m going to be in my office planning your demise.
” I’d also be making myself lunch, as lunch might help me curb my desire to shed blood over the destruction.
“And so help me, if anything happens to my house, heads will roll.”
* * *
Returning to secretarial work helped soothe my frayed nerves, and to my relief, everything the dragon needed done fell within my comfort zones. According to the documents, the dragon was to be addressed as Mr. Durant. A note from Lucifer indicated the family name had been selected for him.
Back when Mr. Durant had been young, dragons had tended to create convoluted family names based on the parentage or inclinations of all individuals involved in the mating union, no matter the species. Some dragons kept it simple. Some preferred family units of four to nine.
Much to my interest, there was a notation there were no records of a dragon mating solely with another dragon, and that when family units formed, it always involved at least one female of a different species and one or more male dragons.
Lucifer’s assurances Mr. Durant was one of the more simplistic dragons with an interest in a singular female partner irritated me.
I recognized unsubtle hints when I saw them, and judging from the commentary, the Devil wanted me to vigorously exercise the dragon at my leisure.
In retrospect, only a fool would assume sense from the Devil, and sin was Lucifer’s domain.
When I framed it in such a way, I could ignore his commentary.
Now, had the Devil suggested some energetic extracurricular activities with Yuless, I might have stopped to consider the situation for a while.
Common sense would have been restored after a few minutes, especially when behind the shield of requiring pie baked by a suitor to consider a courtship.
I needed to reward myself for such a condition.
Men seemed like trouble, but one that could bake might be worth the hassle of keeping him around.
Maybe.
Rather than knock like a sensible person, the Devil popped into existence perched on the edge of my desk. In the time since destroying my barn, he’d changed into a different suit. “It’s not often Malcolm is actually concerned someone might find a way to kill me.”
I snorted, reading over one of the many emails from the Devil’s son-in-law regarding possible business opportunities Mr. Durant might want to pursue. I’d taken the liberty of eliminating three of them from personal experience at my previous employer.
The last thing I needed was that level of headache for a lackluster business.
To spare myself the whining and the complaining, I’d bothered to send detailed explanations on why agreements with the companies were unwise. However, to soothe the sting, I did indicate one of the three might be worth buying out if the money was on the table.
Shit management could be fixed, and the core of the company remained sound—at least for the moment.
As Lucifer would stay until I responded, I regarded him with a frown.
“I’m accepting structural woes with the barn.
It’s not quite yet hurricane season, but we get some nasty blows through here, and if some wind could bring the barn down, then my animals might be hurt or killed.
However, I do need to house and feed all the animals I already have, and their supper happened to be in the barn. ”