Chapter 11 #4
“They really will. Just you mind the bull. He will attempt to love you to death. If the red cow comes your way, run for the fence like you mean it and get out of the pasture. She’s the meanest mom I’ve got, and she will defend her heifer calf to the death.
Your death. She barely tolerates me on a good day. ”
The tall, dark, and handsome glanced my way. “Should I be worried, Isaac?”
“Not particularly. You only need to worry if you happen to live on our street and she thinks you’re going hungry or you’re lonely. She will solve your food and your loneliness problems. I’m not sure what I did to be targeted.”
“You’re an incubus. You were only targeted because you’re the solution to Ashley’s loneliness problem.
You’re also the only decent man on this street.
The rest are bastards and lechers. I don’t knock on their doors when leaving their gifts.
And the only reason I keep offering them gifts is because they leave the salvageable egg cartons for me to pick up the next day.
” I considered the situation and shrugged.
“The one across the street from Donna Leanne isn’t all that terrible.
Every now and then, his returned egg cartons have twenty dollar bills in them.
I have put aside all those twenties for if someone on the street needs it. ”
“Could you be a little less philanthropic? It’s creeping me out,” the incubus complained.
“Shouldn’t you check on those poor dragons?
Are they capable of handling Ashley at this point?
” I smirked at the incubus. “You might be the only sensible one in your new quartet. Good luck with the gossips, by the way. While I won’t talk, the instant Susie Marie or Donna Leanne find out what’s going on, it will be hell and chaos. ”
Isaac bowed his head. “Now I wish I could sell and flee.”
I considered the incubus, and then I stared at my mansion.
I could put the entire quartet on the second floor and barely notice them.
Unfortunately, my favorite of the kitchens was on the second floor, but my bedroom was on the third floor, offering me space.
I could make the ground floor communal space, the second floor the space of everyone I invited to share the place with me, and the fourth floor my sacred haven.
I’d figure out what else to do with the third floor beyond having my bedroom in it later.
“You could sell, and you could lure Ashley to the second floor of my home. Rent would be five hundred a person a month and go to the utilities, maintenance, and so on. There’s plenty of space for even three dragons if the Destroyer of Georgia needs a place to flop while his castle is fixed.
That’s on my to-do list for tomorrow. I refuse to have a slum castle in my lake. ”
Yuless snorted, and then he laughed. “You’re serious. You’re going to just usurp a dragon’s castle?”
“Absolutely. If he had wanted rights over his building, he would be in his castle sorting his building. Do you see a dragon here, sir?”
“I do not see a dragon here,” he replied in a solemn tone, and he glanced in the direction of the lake. “I also do not see a dragon that way, either. But don’t you know anything about dragons?”
“I was trying very hard to convince myself the dragon next door was a myth, Yuless. Apparently, he’s not, and he has friends.
But I will tell you this right now: no dragon is going to be bringing me down.
If he thinks he’s going to be the boss of me, he’s going to have a fight on his hands. Or claws.”
Isaac laughed. “Well, this is going to be a show. Hey, Crystal?”
“Yes?”
“Is there any chance you’re interested in buying my house? I’d be putting it on the market for three fifty.”
As Isaac and I shared a property line, I could annex the land and add it to my homestead without losing my benefits.
“Sold. When you’re ready to offload it, I will contact my real estate agent and have him draw up the paperwork for both the lease for you moving in and for the sale of your house and annexation into my property.
Will you cry if I have the house demolished? ”
“Only if you don’t put something spectacular in its place.”
“I’m thinking Tudor wattle and daub, but underneath that waddle and daub will be stone sufficient to withstand any hurricane. It’ll be a bunker guest house, and if any of the neighbors suffer from a catastrophe, I’ll toss them in there temporarily. I might even use it as a place for goats to live.”
“I have twenty-five acres,” he informed me in a solemn tone. “But my acreage is full of snakes, alligators, and other nasties, and I’m scared of leaving my yard. The backyard has three acres. Hell, I’m afraid of going into my yard. I got swarmed by iguanas once.”
That would cost me a lot of hours to ward the place, but I bet I could turn it into a lovely habitat and trail through the woods and a preserve.
“I’ll even let you use my truck and the box trailer to move everything, especially if you can recruit some demon friends to help.
I demand incubi, they need to work shirtless, and I will bring a lawn chair over and a prissy drink with an umbrella so I can enjoy the scenery. ”
“Don’t forget to invite Darlene and Ashley,” he replied with a grin. “Hey, Yuless? Mind helping me when I move?”
“Sure. Does the shirtless part apply to me, too?”
“Absolutely. You’d die if you tried to move here with your shirt on, anyway. But I’ll be nice and protect everyone helping Isaac against the local pests. I am a merciful tyrant.”
“You have a long way to go if you want to even be a blip on the tyrant radar,” Isaac informed me. “But your mercy is appreciated. How about some lemonade?”
“If my trees are offering lemons when we are moving you in, I’ll make it myself.
And if not? Well, I’ll head to the store and get enough to keep all the nice gentlemen hard at work properly hydrated.
Just don’t ask me to bake you a pie. That’s how you escort yourself straight to your grave.
I can cook, I can roast meat with the best of them, but I simply cannot bake.
The ancestors whisper to me only when I’m cooking main and side dishes.
They are silent and refuse to share their baking secrets with me. ”
“Ah, I see. You’re offering me great rent so you have ready access to someone who will bake you pies.”
There was no point in denying the truth, so I shrugged. “What can I say? I know my limitations. As I’m a wise woman, I’m taking advantage of your suffering for my benefit.”
“That’s a little better on the tyrant front. Excellent job. We’ll have you ruling over even the dragons in no time at all.”