Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Katla lowered herself into the chair and barely held back a sigh of relief. It wasn’t until that moment that she realized how badly her body ached. She had pushed herself hard. A sort of punishment, she supposed. And Merrill had remained with her. Always behind her, but still with her. No matter what direction she went.
She let her gaze slowly move over the Dragon King . She couldn’t admit it to him, but she was glad she wasn’t alone. He had reasons to want Villette dead as much as she did, but she couldn’t help but wonder if he had an ulterior motive. Maybe he had been sent to watch her. The dragons might think she still worked for Villette . After all, she had deeply wronged them.
But she had hurt Villette at their last encounter. Maybe the Kings wished to use her for that. Which was fine with her. But if that were the case, she wished Merrill would admit it.
“ I’m going to hunt,” he told her.
Those deep blue eyes seemed to see past all her defenses into the darkest parts of her psyche, the bits she didn’t want to acknowledge existed. She longed to ask what he saw there, but she wasn’t brave enough to hear just how black her soul was. Redemption wouldn’t save her from whatever fate awaited her, but it would help her face each day. Maybe even lighten the burden she carried a tad.
Merrill turned on his heel as he said, “ You need more than berries.”
Katla had to admit she was hungry. And definitely for something other than berries. She looked around the house before the chill in the air registered. There was a fireplace, but she needed wood. Merrill had stacked plenty against the wall, yet she couldn’t bring herself to use it. It just felt wrong.
She stood and walked out of the building to the middle of what was left of the village. The sun cast an orange glow across the tall grass, the ruins, and the ground. She basked in the last rays of warmth as the horizon pulled the orb downward.
As much as she would like to stay and enjoy the sunset, Katla used what meager light was left to search the ruins for wood. It was everywhere, but much of it was either too burnt or too heavy. It was just a matter of searching through the skeletal remains of the buildings. A few looked ready to fall over at any moment. They most likely would during the next winter storm.
She could’ve started the fire with magic. In the valley, she had believed Villette had bestowed it upon her to carry out their plan. But Henry and Merrill kept telling her she had magic before Villette .
It was difficult to know what to do with that knowledge. Magic hadn’t been a part of her life until she lost everything. She had thought it reasonable to use Villette’s when she believed it was in the pursuit of justice for her family. Now , nothing about her magic felt right. Not the fact that she had it—and possibly some of Villette’s mixed with hers—not anything. It made her hyperaware of every time she thought about using it.
Katla broke apart a half-burned piece of timber, holding it with one hand and stomping on it with her foot. She stacked what she could in her arms and carted it back to the shelter to pile next to the hearth. Then she returned for more. It gave her something to do and helped keep her thoughts from the children and her past, neither of which put her in a good headspace. Though she hadn’t been in a good place in over fifteen hundred years.
She should have died long ago. Or found her husband and daughter and lived out her life with them as she had planned. Katla had had everything she could want: the love of a good man, a child to call her own, and a nice life. It had been enough.
An image of Merrill filled her mind. How long had he lived? Much longer than she. She complained about centuries, and he’d had untold millennia. Would she live that long? She wouldn’t want so many years if she were alone. Merrill had the other Kings . She had no one.
Katla got another armload of wood and felt a flare of anger at what she had been denied. She squeezed her eyes shut. She had blamed the dragons for her grief, and she had been wrong. Her wrath should’ve gone to the invaders. It was easy to blame others, and while Villette did have a hand in things, the decision had ultimately been Katla’s . She could’ve refused Villette . She could’ve walked away from the valley and her hate.
Instead , she had embraced it and worn it like a treasured garment.
She walked to the shelter as dusk gave way to night. She paused when she pushed the door open and saw Merrill stoking the fire. He turned his head, their eyes meeting briefly. His head dipped in greeting. She gave him a quick smile before stacking the wood with the rest. She stepped back and saw a large bird cooking over the flames.
Katla dusted off her hands, but her palms were blackened from the charred wood. She glanced down to see that her clothes were also soiled. Merrill held out a waterskin. She took it and walked outside to dribble the water over her hands to clean them. Unable to help herself, she also tried to remove the dirt from her top to no avail.
The smell of their dinner drifted outside, making her stomach growl. She returned inside to find Merrill sitting against a wall, his legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles. He turned his head to her, his eyes searching again. She had spent so much time alone that she no longer knew how to act in the company of others, much less recall how to carry on a conversation.
She sank onto the chair and stared at the flickering flames. It seemed the safest thing to do. Without the children, the silence stretched and became uncomfortable, making her more aware of it with every heartbeat. She should say something, but no words came to mind. But she didn’t want to stay in her head either. The thoughts that kept running on repeat only made things worse.
Suddenly , Merrill rose and walked to the hearth. He turned the bird over before taking a small bag from his pocket. He dug his fingers inside and sprinkled something over the roasting fowl.
“ Seasoning ,” Merrill told her when he caught her looking.
He cinched the bag closed and returned it to his pocket. Then he resumed his seat. Katla’s skin warmed where his gaze touched her. She tucked her feet under the chair and focused intently on the dancing flames. Until she could stand it no more. She turned her head to him.
“ Would you rather be alone?” he asked softly.
She had spent centuries on her own. Without the sound of birds, the warmth of the sun, or the feeling of rain against her skin. “ Nay .” She swallowed, hating that her voice broke on the reply. “ It’s just… I spent too much time alone. I don’t know how to be in the company of others.”
“ You did fine with the bairns.”
“ They talked among themselves. I merely listened.”
Merrill’s fingers slid into his brownish-blond hair as he raked it away from his face. “ You really had no one to speak with in all that time?”
“ Just Villette . And she only came after I …” She trailed off when she realized what she had been about to say.
“ Well , you have me now.”
She shifted uncomfortably in the chair. “ I …don’t know what to talk about.”
“ Tell me about the valley.”
“ Why would you want to hear about that?”
Merrill shrugged. “ I’m curious.”
She waited for him to say more, but he merely looked at her, waiting expectantly. Katla licked her lips. “ Winters were harsh but beautiful. Besides the snow, the trees would ice over and make stunning shapes. Then there was the rainy season. Summers could be blisteringly hot, and the spring when everything burst into color was lovely. Hunting was plentiful, and the soil was fertile for our crops.”
“ Sounds like an incredible place. And you never had worries about dragons?”
“ As I mentioned before, we heard them. Often . It was a sound I got used to. They didn’t come close, and we never ventured onto their land. We lived so near the border and tucked away in the valley that few risked coming our way. Once a year, we had traders come to us, but that was it. We were isolated. It made for a good life but also meant we didn’t know how to defend ourselves.”
“ The raiders never came before?” Merrill asked.
Katla shook her head. “ If they had, we would’ve been prepared.”
“ Villette orchestrated everything on this side of the border. The only thing she couldna control was what the dragons did, but she knew that if your people crossed that line, the dragons would retaliate.”
She had to admit it made sense. “ Possibly .”
“ Trust me. She had it all planned. It’s what she does.” He nodded to her. “ Did Villette display power when you met her?”
“ She didn’t do any magic, if that’s what you’re asking. But I recognized that she was powerful.”
He grunted and switched which ankle was on top. “ That tells me she wanted you to know that. Did she promise to stop the dragon?”
“ I wasn’t chased over the border. Nay , Villette found me after I made my way back to the village. I hoped someone else had survived, but there was no one but me.”
Merrill sighed softly. “ You were hurting and vulnerable.”
“ I don’t think there’s a word that can accurately describe my emotional or mental state at that time.” Katla slipped off the chair and sat on the floor near the fire, seeking its warmth. “ I cried. I begged. I raged. I contemplated crossing the border again so the dragon would end my life. Anything to stop the pain. Just when I was thinking of giving in, Villette appeared.”
“ She had no doubt been watching you.”
Katla brought her knees to her chest and wound her arms around her legs. She rested her chin on her knees and looked at Merrill . “ She knew what to say. My grief was so raw that I wasn’t in my right mind. I wanted someone to blame, and she pointed to the dragons. I latched on to that and never thought twice about it. Not until Henry asked why I hadn’t blamed the invaders.”
Merrill shook his head. “ Doona blame yourself. Villette focused your attention where she wanted it. Had you attempted to switch your anger, she would’ve returned it to the dragons. She needed you to hate them for her plan to work.”
“ It worked, all right. I felt powerless before. After Villette’s visit that first time, I believed I was in control. That , somehow, my rage would diminish with each dragon I lured into the valley. But it was all an illusion.”
“ No ’ everything, lass. You still have magic.”
Katla turned a hand palm up and stared at it. “ Because of Villette .”
“ Did she touch you?”
“ I don’t know. Maybe . The memories of that day aren’t clear.”
He scratched his cheek. “ She may have made sure you couldna remember.”
“ I recall looking up and finding her there. I don’t know how long I had been alone before that. The elation I felt at seeing another person was so great that my knees wouldn’t hold me. She was kind and compassionate. I don’t remember her words. I was in a daze.” She shook her head. “ She drew a bath or used her magic for one, I don’t know which. It was just there, and she led me to it. I stripped out of my filthy clothes and soaked. She hummed the entire time.”
“ Hummed ?” Merrill repeated with a confused frown.
Katla nodded. “ I just remembered that. I was glad not to be on my own, but I also wasn’t in the mood to talk. The humming soothed me. When I finally emerged from the bath, new clothes were laid out for me on the bed. She sat me by the fire and combed my wet hair. Then we ate. I had never seen so much food before.”
“ She was getting you to trust her.”
“ It worked.”
Merrill cocked his head to the side. “ She knew what to say and do to manipulate you. That isna your fault.”
“ She asked me what happened to my people. I told her all of it.” Nausea twisted her stomach as she realized how devious Villette had been. “ She comforted me. Told me that things happened sometimes but assured me I would get through it.”
“ Is that when she offered you a way to get revenge?”
“ That didn’t happen for a few days. I wanted to go back and look for my family members’ bodies, but I couldn’t because of the border.”
Merrill’s lips twisted. “ Ah . That was the opening she was waiting for.”
“ It was. Villette started to say something but stopped. I urged her to tell me whatever it was. Still , she hesitated. I had to practically drag it out of her. That’s when she declared her hatred for the dragons and told me how fortuitous it was that she’d found me.”
“ Because you could join forces.”
Katla nodded. “ I wanted retribution, and she gave me a way to get it. When I told her there wasn’t much I could do, she took my hand and told me there was a way. She said she could help me. I told her I would do whatever was needed.”
“ Is that when she gave you some of her magic?”
“ Maybe . I didn’t feel any differently, but I could suddenly do things.” Katla curled her fingers into a fist. “ Villette warned me that I had to remain in the valley to get my vengeance.”
Merrill uncrossed his ankles and bent one knee, propping one foot on the floor. “ Did you create the vines?”
“ I don’t believe so. Though , maybe I did.” She shook her head in frustration. “ I can’t remember.”
“ You’ve protected them.”
Her gaze jerked to him. “ They’re alive. They proved that when they chose to help Melisse and Henry .”
His gaze softened. “ You felt betrayed by that action.”
“ I did,” she admitted. “ They were the closest things I had to friends, and they had always chosen me before.”
“ You still fought to keep the Kings from setting them on fire.”
“ The vines always did as I asked. Nothing is their fault. They shouldn’t be blamed for my sins.”
Merrill lifted his brows. “ The same could be said about what Villette did to you.”
“ It’s different,” Katla argued.
“ You just said the vines are alive. That means they can make their own decisions. If they should be forgiven, then so should you.”
Katla parted her lips to argue when she realized that he was right. She drew in a deep breath and looked away.
“ Do you still wish the dragons harm?” he asked.
“ I do not.”
“ Exactly . You , like the vines, made a choice. If the vines shouldna be judged, neither should you. Now , I hope you’re hungry. It’s time to eat.”