Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Unease settled all too comfortably in Fedra’s chest. Sian had given her one more dose of medicine before helping her change clothes and guiding her outside.
To Fedra’s surprise, she had been given a walking stick.
Yet now, as she stood outside for the first time in too many years to remember, all she could think about was Marcus.
She hadn’t sensed him anywhere near her since he’d left her room.
The city had been quiet as Sian guided her through it.
It brought back too many memories that Fedra refused to let occupy her thoughts.
She still recalled the sounds of the children playing, laughing, and even crying that she’d heard from the pod.
Everyone feared her—or rather, what would happen to them when they got too close to her.
Some in power craved others’ fear. All she had ever wanted was to be accepted. She didn’t know what she had done in a past life to have such a fate befall her, but she prayed her current life would make up for it.
She lifted her face upward and took a deep breath. There was a hint of a chill in the damp air. The scent of vegetation filled her senses, and it took everything she had not to rip off the fabric around her eyes to see.
“I’ll take her.”
Marcus’s deep voice slid over her like a warm blanket as he put his hand on her elbow. The crunch of leaves sounded on her other side as Sian turned to leave. “Thank you for the care you’ve given me,” Fedra told her.
“You’re welcome,” Sian said.
Marcus tugged on her arm. “Come.”
She tapped the stick in front of her as they walked. She wondered why Marcus was going so slowly but soon realized why as he directed her over the uneven terrain. Her heart was racing, and though she tried to calm her breathing, she was doing a bad job of it.
“You’re nervous,” he murmured.
Fedra picked up sounds of others around her, but no one spoke directly to her. “Wouldn’t you be?”
“You doona trust me.”
“You don’t trust me, either.”
He leaned close, his breath brushing her ear. “Who says I doona?”
She knew it was a lie. He was just messing with her. Unfortunately, it worked. She couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through her. Damn him. And damn herself for being so affected by him. She needed to remember that they weren’t friends. They were barely acquaintances. There was no bond.
Maybe if she repeated it enough, she might actually believe it.
Marcus’s fingers tightened on her elbow as he gently pulled her to a stop. “Doona move.”
The instant his hand left her, she felt bereft, as if she had been thrown out to sea all alone. She pressed the walking stick into the ground and wrapped both her hands around the circumference of it. It was a poor substitute for Marcus, but at least she had something to hold on to.
“I’m tying a rope around you to haul you up the canyon,” he said.
She swallowed nervously as he wound the rope around her several times.
Was it really to pull her up? Or were they going to drop her?
She inwardly shook herself. If they wanted to kill her, they could’ve done it inside the city without a fuss.
Still, she couldn’t quite dispel the notion that they intended to harm her.
The rope pulled taut, shifting her forward and making her shaky on her feet. Marcus steadied her by grasping her hips. She sucked in a breath when she felt him behind her, but she didn’t dare move away.
“Grab hold of the rope,” he commanded.
Fedra knew she must look like a fool. She had talked a big game about being able to move around the world blind on her own. Now, she couldn’t even walk a few paces from Iron Hall without looking ridiculous.
“You need to let go of the stick first.”
“I need it,” she said.
His fingers wrapped around her hand and gently pried it away before placing it on the rope. “I’ll bring the walking stick to you.”
The longer she made everyone wait, the more pathetic she felt. She released the stick, but she never heard it hit the ground. Marcus must have caught it. She found the rope with her other hand and waited.
“You’ll be lifted off your feet,” Marcus said. “When that happens, sit back as if you were in a chair.”
Her face must have shown her skepticism because he chuckled.
“You’re no’ going to fall,” he said as the rope shifted beneath her palms and she was raised off her feet. “Sit back now.”
She did as he directed. Once she was settled, she kept her feet tucked against her so she didn’t hit anything and held on for dear life. It didn’t take long for her to hear voices as she reached the top. Someone grabbed the rope, and she was pulled toward them.
“You can put your feet down,” Con said.
Her toes touched earth. Fedra was grateful to be able to stand on her own again while the rope was removed. Then someone grasped her wrist and lifted it. She startled until she felt the wood of the walking stick in her hand.
“As promised,” Marcus whispered.
Fedra leaned upon the stick as she listened to the very brief goodbyes given to Marcus. Then he was beside her again, his hand on her elbow once more.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yes.” At least, she hoped. This was what she wanted. What she had been angling for from the moment she woke from stasis. She should feel good about this. If only she could get the knot in her stomach to unravel.
“The terrain is fairly flat right now, but you should still hold on to me. Would you rather hold the stick in your right or left hand?”
“My right.”
He moved to her left side and resumed his hold. “There. Use the stick in front of you for as long as you need.”
When he nudged her to walk, she complied. They continued in silence for some time, his last comment repeating in her mind all the while.
“What do you mean by for as long as I need?” she asked when she thought they were well away from the others.
“I wondered if you were going to comment on that.”
She turned her head to him. “You’re teasing me.”
“Sian wants you to test your eyes when we pause at noon. However,” he said after a brief pause, “if you can see now, it’ll make this easier if you take off the bandage.”
“You think I can see?”
He pulled her closer to his side as they walked around something. “Can you?”
“I always saw some gray and yellow, remember?”
“Can you see more now, is the question.”
It didn’t matter how many queries she made. He found a way to redirect them to her. It was beyond frustrating. She held back her sigh at being found out. It seemed he was as observant of her as she was of him. “Yes.”
“You pretended your sight was still affected after you began to regain it so we would let our guard down.”
“If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”
She felt his shrug as his arm moved. “There wasna a need.”
“Was everyone aware?”
“Most, aye. Sian is sure her medicine will give you back most—if not all—of your sight.”
“She’s very confident in her skills.”
Marcus chuckled. “She has a right to be. She’s that skilled.”
Fedra wanted to see again, but she was also scared. What if her eyes were permanently damaged? Then again, seeing something, no matter how fuzzy or distorted, was better than not being able to see at all. Eventually, she would have to find the courage to remove the bandages.
“We’ll be in the forest in about forty minutes, even sooner maybe. It can be a dangerous place,” he said.
She couldn’t believe he had offered up information on where they were going. “What kind of dangers, exactly?”
He adjusted his grip on her arm. “The usual. Animals. People.”
“Why did you choose the woods?”
“It’s in our path.”
She frowned at his words. “I thought you were escorting me somewhere and then leaving.”
“When did I ever say that?”
He hadn’t, in fact. That was what she’d proposed, so when he said they were leaving, she naturally assumed he was taking her up on her offer. “But…you can’t stay with me.”
“Oh? Why is that?” he asked.
She snorted a laugh. “You know why.”
“Are you worried about me?”
“You have magic. If you’re around me, you won’t be able to use it. If you get injured again…” She couldn’t even finish the sentence. She could still remember the smell of blood.
There was a smile in his voice when he said, “You are worried.”
“Why are you jesting? This is a serious matter.”
“Aye,” he replied in a dangerous tone. “It is. It wasna that long ago when you wanted full rein on this realm to harm others.”
She realized they would always bicker about this. They stood on opposite sides. If only he could see her side, he might understand. “Not others. Just dragons.”
“They are part of this world. You harm one, you harm all.”
“I wonder if the dragons that destroyed my world realized that.”
He roughly jerked her to a stop and released her. “I doona know when or where that happened, but I’m telling you that none of the dragons here did it.”
“How can you be so sure of that?”
“I just am.”
She blew out a breath. “That isn’t an answer.”
“Do you really want to be responsible for killing a species because of a few? Should I wipe out all horses because some become crazed?”
“Horses don’t kill.”
“Aye, they actually do.”
Anger bubbled in her chest as she gripped the stick tightly. “Not on purpose!”
“How do you know the dragons did it on purpose?”
“How could they not?” she shouted. It wouldn’t matter if a million years had passed. She would forever carry hatred in her heart.
His chuckle was cold and tinged with a sneer. “There is much you doona know about the dragons, but you’re verra quick to pass a verdict.”
“You can’t compare a horse to a dragon.”
“All right,” he stated. “Let’s compare them to the two herds of brinelings that attacked us yesterday.”
She took a half step back when she felt him move closer. His fury rolled off him and slammed into her. “I-I don’t know what those are.”
“They’re huge animals with incredible speed and horns they use with lethal precision.”
Was that what had caused his injuries? She recalled the thick smell of his blood and his stillness as they lay in the hallway. “Why did they attack?”
“We’ve yet to figure that out. They came out of nowhere. We killed those that came for us, but we didna go looking for any others. And I can tell you, as wild and dangerous as brinelings are, I’ve no’ seen one as maddened as these were.”
She swallowed and forced herself to stand her ground, even as she knew she should retreat a step. “I understand what you’re saying, but it still isn’t the same.”
“Is it no’?” he asked, his voice deceptively calm. “They would’ve killed us all if given the chance.”
“The brinelings are part of this realm. It makes sense that you would run into them from time to time. Dragons were never part of our world.”
There was a long beat of silence. “I can no’ figure out if you’re being purposefully obtuse, or if you truly believe what you’re saying.”
“If you’re traveling with me to change my mind about my mission, then I must tell you not to bother. Nothing will stop me from ending them.”
“That’s no’ why I’m here.”
He was gentle as he took her arm and tugged her after him, which made her feel even more troubled about their argument. “Why are you here, then?”
“I’m making sure no harm comes to you.”
“You believe I can see. If I prove I can, then there’s no reason for you to stick around.”
“True.”
She briefly turned her head toward him. Was that all he would say? She thought he’d have some kind of statement in response. She wanted him to leave. It would make it easier to proceed with her mission.
Then it hit her. “No one else would see me off, would they? You got stuck with me.”
“I volunteered.”
“Why would you do that? Especially when I know how you feel about my mission?”
There was no response, which only confused Fedra even more. She couldn’t figure out why he had volunteered, unless… Did he feel the same connection she did? If so, she might be able to make him see how much better off everyone would be if they could get rid of the dragons for good.
She became lost in her thoughts, trying to figure out the best way to convince him. His silent presence was comforting, just like his hand on her elbow. With him beside her, she could do anything, go anywhere. He knew her darkest secret, and he remained beside her. Just like Sten.
No. Not like Sten. Marcus was different in so many ways.
His nearness made her heart race. Every time she thought of him, her stomach quivered with excitement.
She longed for his touch on a primal level.
Each time she thought of touching his lips, she imagined what it would be like to press her mouth against his.
He gave her elbow a light squeeze, drawing her from her thoughts. “We’re entering the forest now.”
The atmosphere changed in two steps. She might not be able to see the trees, but she could hear the leaves rustling above her. There was a cacophony of birdsong, and even the scratching of a small animal as it darted from branch to branch.
“You wanted to know why I’m here,” Marcus said. “I have my own mission.”