Chapter 12
Chapter
Twelve
brIANNA
W e stay cuddled together for a while, over an hour by my guess, and even though Declan doesn’t say anything, doesn’t give any indication that he might be tired or that he might want his bed back to himself, I can’t shut out the idea that I might be overstaying my welcome.
I also can’t get the thought out of my head that he has a pre-destined mate somewhere out there. That he might have just given me something that wasn’t mine to take, but there might be another woman out there who’s fated to have so much more of him. His forever.
Even with the growled words in my head from earlier, calling me his mate, his , I can’t quite shake the feeling that maybe I’m not.
“I should get back upstairs.” I slowly sit up, realizing for the first time that there’s a new ache between my thighs, a soreness even making it difficult to even try and push the memories away. “Can I come back again tomorrow?”
“I will never not want to see you, whenever and however I can.” He sits up too, and even though he seems to start looking for something, there’s almost a sadness to his eyes as I stand.
The idea of walking back upstairs seems as daunting as traveling to a far-off planet. “I could try to bring some other things down, stuff to make you more comfortable.”
Declan gives me a shrug that can only be defined as non-committal, like he’s not entirely sure I’m going to return to him, even after everything we’ve shared.
I stop him as he tries to gather up our clothing, pulling him back toward me. “Tell me what you like. Tell me what you need.”
“You.” He sighs, wrapping his arms around me again, making me feel almost small as he completely envelops me. “You are the first thing that’s made me feel normal. The first thing to make me feel like not just a prisoner here. You, Brianna, are more than I could possibly ask for, and more than I could possibly hope to have. Even without these shackles, I don’t think I could ever fully feel like I deserve you.”
I gasp, looking up at him in wonder. “Declan…”
He bumps his nose against mine, not getting quite close enough for me to kiss him, but it’s an intimate gesture. “You can make whatever protestations you want, Brianna, but you are the most perfect thing I could’ve possibly hoped for here. You are more than I could have dreamed up, in all the times I wondered what my mate could be.”
There’s that word again. Mate.
“What are you saying?” I feel strange, aching to hear him confirm what I so badly want to be true with this man I barely know. This man who, in just a couple of days, seems to have made me feel for the first time in my life, like I belong with him.
Like I’m not a burden who destroyed a happy family just by existing. Like I’m not just a political bargaining chip or someone to be handed off to whoever holds the highest power trade my father can get.
“I’m saying that if I ever get out of these cuffs, if I ever find my freedom again, I’m going to scour every continent, to find you, make you mine, and to make sure you wear my heartstone. To make sure you wear my mark.” The commanding voice is back, the one that makes something primal inside me stand up and take notice. The one that is completely certain. There’s nothing non-committal about his words, and it just makes me want to push him back toward the bed again, for a repeat performance.
Soreness between my thighs be damned.
“You should get back to your room.” He leans down and kisses me, a long, lingering kiss that, although more chaste, without any tongue, feels like a promise.
“Tomorrow.” I smile, even though I feel a little unsteady on my feet.
He hands me my shirt and yoga pants before nodding. “Tomorrow.”
Dressing again feels impossible, like covering up somehow covers up what we just did, even with his seed still coating my inner thighs.
I don’t even fully realize that the panties I wore down there are nowhere to be seen until after I’m soaking in a hot bath.
If his guards find those, there’s going to be some serious explaining to do.
Almost a month passes this way.
Me sneaking downstairs, bringing whatever I can smuggle down with me to pass on to the shifters. All of them, not just Declan.
Ewan still won’t accept anything from me directly, just through the slit in the door that the guards use as a pass-through.
The bear, though, whose name I’ve finally learned is Kayden, doesn’t like anything sweet, so I’ve started sneaking him more savory things. Turns out, he can’t get enough of cheese flavored chips. It doesn’t matter if they’re crunchy, puffy, tortilla chips, or potato. Anything with that fake, orange cheese powder, is the way to his heart.
And Declan is most content to feast on me.
I’ve learned to bring down wet wipes, washcloths, anything to help clean up a little after our sexcapades, because he can’t get enough.
And neither can I.
Tonight’s the first night in almost a month that I can’t get down to him, and even though there’s a part of me that hates the idea of not seeing him, I can’t help but be a little excited that somehow, I’ve convinced my father to let me go spend the weekend with Ellie.
Ellie’s waiting in the foyer, looking every bit like the respectable kind of girl my father would expect me to hang out with. She even took out the septum nose piercing she’s been sporting this semester and toned down the dark eyeliner and bold red lips to more demure makeup choices. “Finally. Took you long enough. What were you doing?”
“I couldn’t decide what to pack.” I shrug, not willing to admit that I was debating, not what to put into my bag, but whether I wanted to commit to this weekend at all.
There’s no way I would admit, especially not where my father might be eavesdropping, that I almost bailed to have yet more hot sex with my dragon.
Ellie laughs as she readjusts her purse strap. “It’s going to be chill. As long as you’ve got some pajamas and you’re ready for some movies and maybe painting your toenails, you’re good.”
I hold up my duffle bag and nod. “I’m good.” Neither one of us talk about the other items she asked me to bring, including an outfit we could go out and potentially party in.
Knowing that my father ran Ellie through so many background checks that I’m surprised her actual skeleton didn’t fall out of some closet, I’m looking forward to having a real friend, a real girls’ weekend, without the stress of bodyguards, drivers, and any other prevention of fund and freedom my father can put into action.
I’m not naive enough to believe that we won’t still be followed, that there won’t still be people reporting back to him, but at least while we’re alone in a hotel room, as long as there are no eavesdropping ears, I might get to actually bond with Ellie, and not just be the shell of myself around her.
God, it would be nice to be able to tell someone about my time with Declan. Nice to just have someone I can trust with more than just the superficial.
“Great. Let’s go.”
Just as we get to the front door, my father appears out of the shadows of the hallway like an ominous specter, almost like a suit of armor, here to defend his daughter’s honor against the invader. Only it’s to make sure his daughter stays dutiful and pure.
“I assume you won’t do anything I wouldn’t approve of this weekend, right, Brianna.” The words sound like a question, but there’s no inflection to indicate that he’s asking anything, he’s demanding it.
Unlike when Declan commands things of me, Papa’s tone sends an uncomfortable shiver down my spine, like the times he ordered me to kneel on uncooked rice for misbehaving and that’s only the beginning of my penance.
“We’re just going to hang out, watch movies, do some girly things. I promise, your daughter is in good hands with me. You’ll be nothing but proud.” Ellie grins, her expression projecting an innocence, an almost angelic energy my father falls for in a heartbeat. It’s almost magical.
“I know what’s expected of me, Papa. You don’t have to worry.” I smile more softly, trying to maintain the demure, submissive nature I know he expects of me.
No warmth or kindness comes from his stoic expression as he struts across the foyer. “If anything at all goes wrong, call Zimo and he’ll come to pick you up.” He opens the door for us.
I give him a meek smile as we pass through the doorway and then keep my eyes on Ellie’s car. I can feel his laser eyes cutting into the back of my head. He watches as I get into Ellie’s car.
I swear, he stands there focused on me until my seatbelt clicks into place, like he has to keep eyes on me as long as he possibly can to make sure I stay safe, but also that I’m doing as I’m expected to do.
Ellie’s voice snaps me out of my irritation and complete disdain for my father. “Okay, what do we want to do first? Because you know there’s no way in hell I’m letting what could be our one chance at this be limited to movies and pedicures.” Ellie grins, barely waiting until we’re off consulate grounds before she gives her sporty car more gas and defies all traffic laws with grace and ease.
“Shouldn’t we get checked in first? Get settled at least?” I chew on the inside of my lower lip nervously, afraid that if we get too far off the expected path, my father will cut the weekend short. I have no doubt he’s already called the hotel to make sure that he can keep tabs on us.
It wouldn’t surprise me if some of the other guests in the hotel are his plants, there to keep an eye on me and report back.
“Fine. But then we’re going out. I get that you don’t do this, but you have to learn to live a little. Your dad doesn’t get to dictate your whole life.”
I think about Declan, about the huge secret I’ve been keeping for a month, and I can’t fight the smile that tugs at the corners of my lips.
Ellie glances over at me and then does a double-take. “Okay, what’s that grin for?” She studies me while we wait for the light to change from red to green. “You look like…Gods, you look like you’re in love. But I know that’s not possible, because I would know, right? You hardly talk to any guys at school at all, and based on the frisking I received just to have a girls’ weekend, I have to assume you’re not going on weekly dates outside of school.”
Her car has to be safe, right? There’s no way anyone could’ve slipped a listening device under the dash or anything, not with as little time as she spent on the consulate grounds.
“Actually, there is someone. But I haven’t told anyone about him. My father would not approve.” I wait a beat, expecting some kind of reaction, or at the very least for the car to start rolling forward again now that the light’s changed, but Ellie just gapes at me, her mouth in a wide ‘O’ as she ignores the honking of another car behind us.
“I’m going to need all the details, right now.”
“How about we keep moving, and I’ll tell you what I can.”
Ellie lets out an exaggerated sigh as she starts driving again. “How could you not tell me about this? I need everything. How did you meet? Where did you meet? Have the two of you gotten nasty yet? Everything.” She swerves in and out of lanes, avoiding other cars and making it damn near impossible for anyone to follow us.
I swallow hard, still wary about talking about Declan. If I tell her anything, and my father finds out, or if Declan gets hurt because I admit to knowing him, I’ll never forgive her.
Or myself.