Chapter 36
Chapter
Thirty-Six
brIANNA
N ow I know exactly how Declan felt for the weeks, months before I snuck into the basement. No one visits, no one talks to me unless it’s to order me around. There’s nowhere to go, nothing to see, nothing to do, other than staring at these same walls all day and all night.
And eating. God, I’m eating all the time.
Whoever thought it was a good idea to speed up a pregnancy from months to days clearly didn’t take into account the fact that a human body needs more time to make this process work. I feel like I’m constantly starving, constantly hoping someone will come by and drop off snacks. The pain gets worse in between as my baby grows and my body tries to make room for her.
Even though every time food gets dropped off, I can’t help but wonder what spells, what potions, what bullshit magic is woven into my meal.
When I’m not stuffing my face full of whatever food gets provided, I’m missing Declan so much it hurts. I ache to hear his voice, feel his touch, just to be in the same room with him.
I don’t understand. I know, I know in my gut that we used to talk, even when I wasn’t in his cell with him. I remember conversations when I could hear him in my bedroom. In classrooms at school.
He didn’t have a phone, so how did we do it?
It’s like every time I try, every time I search for some way to connect with him, my mind goes completely blank. It’s like there’s something, a wall, a barrier, something in my mind that’s keeping me from fully remembering. From being able to contact him.
And the longer I’m locked in here, the crazier I’m starting to feel.
The only good thing about the whole situation is that so far, Grey and Peter have pretty much left me alone. The only person to come into my room so far has been the nurse, Donna, who brought me here in the first place.
The clicking of a key in the lock announces that she must be coming back, no doubt to check on the progress of my baby for the third time today.
“How’s our little one doing?” She smiles at me. Or, more accurately, at my stomach. She doesn’t look at me. She doesn’t see me as anything other than a vessel for my baby, for Declan’s baby.
No one here sees me as more than that, and I need to remember that every fucking step of the way.
“You know, Donna, if you’re going to poke and prod at me every few hours you could at least treat me like a person.” I roll my eyes as she glares at me. “Or at least tell me why someone who clearly has medical experience is working with a monster like Grey.”
She scoffs, “I don’t have to explain anything to you. I’m here for Grey, for this baby. You’re just a means to an end. And one that I’ll be glad to be rid of as soon as we have what we want.” She points at the bed, clearly done with this conversation.
I crawl up onto the bed, not bothering to fight. There’s no point, not when Grey’s commanded me to obey any orders the nurse gives me. Not to mention the brute shows of strength I’ve seen from her through my window. Whatever this woman is, she’s not human. Or at least she’s not anymore.
“Please, you’ve got to give me something. I’m alone here. I’m freaking out. I never even imagined I’d be pregnant, let alone doing it like this. All this stress can’t be good for me or the baby.” I gesture at my belly, trying to sound pathetic. Like I’m pleading.
I need her to see me as human. I need her to see me as someone who matters, someone who’s more than just a means to getting Grey a dragon baby.
If my baby’s even going to be a dragon at all. How could they know? And if she’s not, then what? Would they kidnap Declan and force us to have another kid like this? And another and another, until they get what they want?
Or worse, would they just kill me, my baby, and Declan before moving on to another dragon and unsuspecting mate?
“If Grey lets you live after this, he’ll wipe your memory. You won’t even remember you were pregnant.” She smirks at me, and it’s not the first time her smile makes my skin crawl. “He could make you forget you were ever paired to a dragon, too. I can only imagine the things that monster forced you to do.” She starts up the ultrasound machine before adding, “If you prove yourself an asset, perhaps he’ll even bestow dragon’s breath on you.”
“I don’t want to forget.” I cringe as she squeezes cold gel over the wand for the ultrasound. “And Declan isn’t a monster. Why do you follow Grey? Why are you helping him?”
Donna moves between my legs and inserts the wand into my vagina. “He’s given me power I never thought I could have. I never even dreamed possible.” She takes a second, using the machine’s wand, until the rapid thrum of my baby’s heartbeat fills the room. “He gave me freedom.”
I listen to my baby’s heartbeat for a minute until she flips it off again. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to hold back the tears until Donna leaves. “How is this freedom? Following orders, not knowing if you can even trust your own mind, your own thoughts. Kidnapping people, drugging them. It’s all your choice?”
So much for trying to appeal to her humanity. But I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her. I’d be with Declan, in his arms. That dream I had could’ve been true, if it weren’t for her.
I wouldn’t be in so much pain, so worried about my life, my baby, my mate… if it weren’t for her.
“You’ll learn.” Her voice is empty and nonchalant, like none of this matters. “He doesn’t force things for long, just long enough to know that you’re loyal. Once he can trust you, you’ll have more chance to move around. Prove your allegiance, and he’ll give you real power.”
“Maybe for you.” I roll my eyes, not bothering to look at my baby on the screen. She feels so impossible, so strange. How can she do this to another person?
It shouldn’t be like this.
Declan should be with me. Taking care of me. Of us.
“Your dragon is growing well.” The nurse smiles, before reaching into her bag and pulling out a long needle. “Now, I just need a sample to run a few tests, and you and your baby can go back to resting. I’ll have the chef send up larger meals for tomorrow, and more snacks. You need to keep your strength up.”
“What the hell are you going to do with that?” I scooch back against my pillows, covering my belly with my hands. “You’re not coming near me with that.”
A sharp strike into my abdominal wall echoes my fear, my discomfort.
I want to soothe her, to tell my daughter that we’re not going to let this happen, but what can I do? What could I even begin to do against a woman with superhuman strength and the force of vampires driving her?
“It won’t hurt you or the baby. Just stay still.” She keeps moving closer, the needle looking a lot more like a knife wielded by a serial killer than a medical instrument. “Don’t make me get Grey in here to make you comply.”
I shake my head and tears streak down my cheeks. “Please, just let us be. If nothing is wrong, surely you don’t need to run more tests.”
“Don’t make it difficult, Brianna.” She grabs my wrist, pinching it hard enough in her hand that it feels like she might crush the bones in my wrist into nothing but dust. She pulls my hand back, positioning the needle over my belly.
My little one kicks harder and harder in protest.
I close my eyes, fighting a wave of nausea while more tears fall. Frustration, fear, and rage all seem to be tumbling around inside me, all of them strong enough to make me want to scream, but none so strong as to overtake the others.
I feel the tip of the needle pressing against the tight skin of my stomach, and I hold my breath, not wanting to breathe, not wanting to think about anything right now, other than the sweet image my dreams brought.
Of my dragon.
Of my new family.
“What the fuck?” The nurse’s voice startles me, nearly an octave higher than normal.
I look down to where the needle… isn’t going in. The skin isn’t broken. The metal has crumpled like a fucking accordion.
“What did you do to it?” She stares at me, her eyes wide. A layer of actual fear there, underneath the shock.
“What did I do?” I shake my head, reaching out for her hand. “You can’t blame me for this. You can’t tell Grey this happened.” Not that I even understand what the hell just happened.
I have no idea what the vampire might do if he finds out, but I really don’t want to learn the hard way.
Donna examines the broken needle with interest and looks back down at my stomach. “I have to tell him. He has to know what is happening at all times. Plus, he’ll be interested in this turn of events for sure.”
“No, you don’t.” I squeeze her hand, holding on tight as I try to will her to listen to me. “Please, you must know the danger there will be if he finds out something like this happened. Not just to me, but you too.”
She tenses, and it’s almost like I can see a veil dropping behind her eyes. “He’s already done so much.” Tears start to bubble up along her waterline, and her bottom lip trembles. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. I have to do this. I have to serve him.”
“Why?” I swallow hard around the lump in my throat, worried I’m poking at a bear. I don’t want to find out all the damage she can do with her super strength. “I mean, I’ve seen you. You’re powerful. You’re insanely strong. He lets you do what you want, yeah? You’re free. You don’t have to do his bidding.”
“You don’t understand. If it were just me, if defying him, if leaving here, would only put me at risk, I’d try. I’d try to walk away, even though he’s in my head, even though he could be listening in on us right now.” She shakes her head, more tears falling. “I don’t get how I’m even able to talk to you about this. I’m usually spouting off the bullshit he puts in my head daily, sometimes hourly.”
Eager to keep her talking while the real Donna is present, I keep pressing with more questions. “What does he have on you? What’s keeping you here?”
“My little sister.” Tears are streaming down her face, and she’s squeezing my hands, like she’s clinging to me, to whatever clarity she’s feeling right now. “He gave me a choice. Work for him, accept his ‘gift’ of dragon’s breath, or watch him turn her into a monster instead. And that was after the months of torture, the months of being held captive. He wanted a fucking doctor. He wanted someone who could do what I’m here to do with you. I’m one of the leading neonatal surgeons in the country. He wanted a specialist who would be able to handle any complications with your pregnancy.”
I shake my head once before taking a chance and pulling her into my arms, hugging her close. “We’ll get out of here. We’ll find her, and we’ll save you both.”
Donna let’s out a sob and a laugh border-lining on hysteria. “You can’t promise that. After everything I’ve done, after bringing you here, putting you through this, why would you even want to help me?” She buries her face in my shoulder, and I can feel her tears soaking through my shirt. “I’m sorry you’re here. I’m sorry it’s my fault.”
I want to tell her that I don’t blame her, that I know it was all Grey.
But I don’t know if I can actually believe that. What if this is all an act, all a ploy to get me to trust her?
“I have to go back to him. I have to tell him something.”
“Tell him what you have to. I can’t stop you from talking. But I’m not letting you anywhere near my baby with a fucking giant needle.”
“I can’t blame you on that. It would seem your baby doesn’t want it anywhere near her either.” She wipes her eyes and slowly pulls away. “It might kill me, but I don’t want you or your baby to fall into that monster’s hands. I took an oath to do no harm, and God help me, I don’t want to help him harm either of you anymore.”
I almost want to believe her, even just to have a friend in this place, someone I could trust. It’s scary to even have a shred of hope after feeling like the end is inevitable.
Then she hands me another dose of those fucking pills.