Chapter 38
Chapter
Thirty-Eight
brIANNA
T here’s no way in hell I can sleep.
Not when my entire body feels like I’m being torn apart from the inside.
My head has been clearer since the doctor left. It’s like somehow, in getting her to open up to me, I broke through some of Grey’s control over me too. I somehow doubt that’s the cause, but I have no idea how any of this works so I’m making guesses.
I grudgingly head into the bathroom again, hoping that the hot water of a bath might ease at least a little of the constant pain, the constant feeling that my body is going to break before I even get to meet my baby.
With tears in my eyes, I sink into the steaming tub, focusing on Declan. Wondering where he is and what he’s doing. Wondering if he’s missing me as badly as I’m missing him.
I don’t know where I am. I don’t know if there’s any way for me to get a message to him, if there’s any way for me to contact any of the dragons, any of the shifters or witches or anyone I consider a friend.
Would the doctor sneak me a cell phone?
If she did, who would I even call?
The tears are falling freely now, again, completely out of my control, making my body hurt even more as the sobs rip through me. I’m so tired of crying and grieving. I just want to be done with this. I want it to be over if that’s what’s going to happen anyway.
“Brianna?” Dr. Donna’s voice is soft, almost timid.
“Did he send you back to finish what you started? I’m not going to be any more fucking cooperative than I was before.” I look up at her, letting all my frustration, all my pain show freely. I don’t even bother trying to cover up. It’s not like she hasn’t seen practically all of me already.
“I brought you something.” She shuffles across the bathroom tile, like she’s struggling to even be here right now. “I don’t know if it’ll help. I don’t even know if it’s the right one, but I’ve heard stories, and if it can help, it’s worth a shot, right?”
“What is it?” I wipe my eyes and try to sit up more, but it doesn’t stop the tears from falling still.
“It might be Declan’s heartstone.” She holds her hand out, her fist clenched around something.
His heartstone? Is it possible? Why would she have it? Why would she give it to me?
“Why? How?” My heart is hammering in my chest with hope and fear.
She looks close to tears herself. “You broke his spell, at least a little. I don’t know how you did it, and I don’t really care. I haven’t felt like myself in months, and I want you to be able to feel that way too.” She swallows hard. “I’d like it if…”
I wait, reaching out to touch her, to take whatever it is she’s holding.
“I’d like it if you’d find my sister. Let her know that her big sister loves her and misses her.” She shakes her head as she drops the ring into my hand.
“I’m taking you back with me. But if I can’t, it’d help to have a name to give her.”
The ring feels warm in my hand, but I’m hardly paying attention to it. I don’t want her to chicken out, to stop talking to me, being human with me.
“Donna Tripp.” She practically chokes on it. “My sister’s Hannah. She lived in Atlanta, the last I saw her, but I don’t know if she would still be there anymore. Not after what happened.”
“We’re going to get out of here, Donna. Together.” I reach for her and realize the ring she’d dropped in my hand is winding around my ring finger, by itself. Vines of silver with the green, purple, and black stone stretch around my wrist too for a bracelet, ring combo.
Declan talked about heartstones, about the magic that surrounds them. Never did I imagine the heartstone would be able to shift itself much like its owner.
What if this is all another trick, another ploy by Grey, something to make me trust her, to make me let her near enough to take the samples he wants? Or could the ring do something else to harm me and my baby?
“I don’t think I can go. I don’t think he’ll let me.” Donna steps back, wringing her hands together.
“Tell me where we are. Help me get someone here, help me get us both help.”
“I can’t. He’ll know.” She shakes her head, her tears falling harder now. “He’s going to know I gave you that. He’s going to know I tried to help you. He’s going to hurt me.”
“He can’t know. He’s not all knowing. There’s no way he could know you gave this to me. I’ll hide it. He won’t find it.”
He doesn’t even come in here. He doesn’t even interact with me anymore, not after that first night.
But Donna’s clearly terrified and clearly certain that Grey’s going to find out.
I reach for her, but she backs away. “I should go. I need to leave. I can’t be here.”
It’s like she can’t decide exactly why she’s leaving my room, why she’s leaving me alone again, but I can’t blame her. I’ve only been his prisoner for a couple days, and already I’m sure of just how evil he is, just how horrible he can be. I can’t imagine how much worse it is, being his captive for months. Even weeks seem like too long.
There’s no way I can let my baby end up as his captive. Not even for a minute.
I have to get out of here.
I have to get out, and I have to take Donna with me.
No matter how much I hurt, no matter how scared she is, we have to get out of here.
At this point, I don’t think there’s a choice in it for me. I don’t know how I’d get out of here, get anywhere safe from Grey, without help. I’m not entirely sure I’m even going to be able to walk out of here without someone else to lean on, someone else to hold onto with the intense pain and how out of balance and structurally unsound I am at the moment.
Closing my eyes, I wrap my arms around myself, holding my baby bump, and picture Declan in my mind. His smile, his voice, the way he held me, made me feel safe, made me feel loved.
I can almost feel him with me. Just like the night before, when my dream felt so real.
Declan, I miss you. Find me. Bring me home.
I don’t expect an answer. There’s no reason, no logical way I can think of, that would make him able to answer my thoughts.
Which makes the strange voice in my head that much more insane.
Brianna. Tell me where you are. Help me find you. Declan needs you.
I try to think through the people I met with Declan, his family, their supernatural friends, anyone who might know who I am. Anyone who might be able to help, not someone who just wants to torment me for Grey’s nefarious plans.
Finally, it hits me. His brother, Malcolm.
Malcolm? I think it so softly, so unsure, I really do feel like I’m losing my mind. Like I’m giving into something I shouldn’t, like I’m just falling for a trap.
Or like this potion that’s making my baby grow so fast, that’s making me suffer through this, is also driving me insane.
Thank the gods. It’s me, Brianna. I can help you. I can get you to Declan, but I need you to tell me where you are. I need something for us to find you.
I don’t know. I swallow hard, fighting to focus on Malcolm, not the tears I want to let fall. I’m afraid that if I let them fall, they’ll never stop.
Anything. Show me what it looks like outside your window, if you have one. If there’s a car you remember being in, a license plate, any detail you have. Anything.
My mind feels fuzzy, like I’m fighting to talk to him through a heavy blanket. Like I’m fighting against some wall in my brain. I’m sorry. I woke up here. I don’t remember a car. I don’t even know how long I traveled. Everything outside my window is forest. I could be anywhere. I need to get out of here soon. I don’t have many more days left.
What’s going on? Has he threatened you?
God, how do I explain? How do I even think to someone else that a vampire is forcing a potion into me and making my baby grow entirely too fast? That he’s undoubtedly planning on killing me, probably feeding me to this man my father once wanted me to marry?
But then, a few months ago, I wouldn’t have thought it possible to explain the fact that I’m in love with a dragon, that I ran away from home with him, for a chance at real happiness, a real life of my own choosing.
They have a potion. It’s speeding up my pregnancy, and when I give birth, they want to take her away. I’m sure I’ll be collateral damage at that point. I can’t let any of that happen.
Show me what the forest outside your window looks like. I’ll have Kash and Athena try to geo-locate you online. If there’s anything distinctive at all, if you can get any more information, just think about me. I’ll keep this connection open.
I pull myself out of the bathtub and wrap a robe around myself as I lumber and limp to the window. I open the blinds and stare out into the woods. There are trees everywhere. I try and take in as much as I can. I focus on the details. I see a large rock formation in the distance and stare at that until I’ve memorized every nook and cranny I can see from here.
It doesn’t remotely feel like enough.
All I can hope is that I’ll be able to get Donna to talk, to give me something else for them to go on, so that we have even a small chance of getting out of here alive.