Chapter 23 #3
She frowns, then pushes some water out the open door. “Didn’t I teach you how to wash the serving room?”
“Yes, like many things. I mean being alone.”
This time she pauses, and her frown deepens. “I’m not alone. I have friends, clients, suppliers, you two…”
“Single.”
She scoffs. “Well, I have my business, I earn enough. Why would I want trouble?”
“I don’t know.”
“And it’s not like I’m alone, alone. Like I don’t… You know what I mean, and yet I still think you’re the little girl who came knocking here, all those years ago.” She starts scrubbing the floor again.
“Why did you take us in?” I always thought I knew the answer, but now I’m not sure, and I have to ask.
“You got some odd questions today, Mayara. Should I let two kids starve?”
“People starve. You can’t take them all.”
She pauses. “Yes, but they didn’t knock on my door. Do you remember what you said? When you came?”
The blurry memory sends a shiver through me, and I shake my head. “I just remember I was desperate and cold, and that our clothes were soaked.”
“You told me to take your brother, that you’d do anything to save him. It’s all you cared about. You reminded me what kindness was. So I took you two. Soon you were offering to help, and… I could use the help. It was good for you, too. So in the end it worked well.”
“Thank you.”
She rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Nothing to thank me for.”
“Everything to thank you for. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t taken us in.”
“No point dwelling on ifs. Now let me finish cleaning, and then we talk.” She eyes me up and down, then glances at the open door.
“Sure,” I say. “I’ll go talk to Kaio.”
When I climb the ladder to the attic, my brother is lying on the bed and says, “Have you heard of knocking?”
“Knock where? There’s no door.”
“The floor.” He shrugs.
I sit on the empty bed beside his. “Well, I’m already here, and I need to ask you something.”
He sits up. “What?”
“Do you still want to join a merchant company? Go on a ship?” I have no idea what I’m going to do if he tells me he changed his mind.
His chest moves up and down slowly. “Yes, but Laristella says I’m still too young.”
Previously, I would have dismissed the restaurant owner, thinking all she wanted was to exploit Kaio, but the reality is that he doesn’t even work that many hours, and she could hire someone else. The truth is that he is young—but I don’t know if he can wait.
I swallow. “It’s true, but… I’m about to find an opportunity for you, and when an opportunity appears, sometimes…
” He’s staring at me, his eyes wide, and another thought comes to me, a possibility that has always inhabited my head, but that I pushed away.
“Is it our mother? Do you want to find her?”
Kaio huffs. “Of course not. You remember her. I think you miss her. For me… I don’t have any memories of her. I wouldn’t think of her as my mother, and wouldn’t cross the ocean to try to find a stranger.”
“She was a good mother, and loved you very much.”
“Until the day she left us. I know. It doesn’t even bother me. My family, it’s you and Laristella.”
It hits me then. Laristella. She is his mother. I never saw it, maybe because I was too busy making sure I never bonded with the woman who took me in.
The pain of being abandoned once was too much to risk it again, so I shielded my heart—but my brother didn’t. How can I tear him away from this life? For his dream, maybe.
“I see,” I say. “But your dream is to belong to a merchant company, right?”
“I want to travel the world, sis. I’ve heard Cainara is so big that if you stand on a hill at one end, you can’t see the other.
The city goes on and on. It has a market where people perform magic.
Magic, can you believe it? And then there are other kingdoms. Have you ever thought of what you’re missing? ”
“Never, actually.” I laugh, and he joins me. “I just wanted to fly.”
“You’re there now.” He looks down. “But it’s dangerous, isn’t it?”
I could tell him I’m not really flying, so it’s safe, but in reality, what I’m going to do is incredibly risky. “I’m willing to face the dangers. Now you, let’s say I get you a position on a boat next week. A good apprenticeship. Would you go?”
“Next week?” He scratches his head and lets out a nervous laugh. “I… wow. If Laristella lets me, sure.”
Past me would tell him that he doesn’t need her authorization, but if she’s more than a boss to him, it makes sense.
“I’ll talk to her.”
I descend the ladder thinking that perhaps I should just leave him here, happy. There is a path for me where I can leave things as they are, where I’ll be sure not to harm my betrothal…
Where Ava and Vos die.
I feel like I’m holding jars, and there’s no way to keep them all. Some will have to fall. But not the little dragons, no. Not my brother either.
Laristella’s standing in the kitchen, waiting for me. “Come to my room.”
We cross the restaurant, then enter the little bedroom where she sleeps and does some of the accounting. She closes the door, leaving us under the light of a faint lumos jar.
“The walls are well insulated here,” she says. “Now tell me. What’s going on?”