Chapter 1 The Ideal Alpha Male #2
“You need time?” he repeated.
“I’m just… I’ve never been with anyone, and this is a little sudden.”
“I’ve been courting you for months, Ansel,” he said, his voice cold. “You must have known my intentions.”
“I’m inexperienced. I truly had no idea.” Okay, that was a lie. I was inexperienced, but I knew what he was after. My entire family had expected and encouraged it since I’d turned seventeen. It had been Valentin this and Valentin that, like we were already engaged.
He scoffed. “Luckily, I find your naivete charming. I’ve already told your father I was going to approach you tonight. He welcomed it. I’m giving you a week, Ansel. And you will explain this to your father yourself. I’ve had enough humiliation for one evening.”
With that, he spun around and strode away.
Oops.
That hadn’t been ideal.
My father was unimpressed to say the least. The guests were gone, and he’d ordered the staff to leave us alone for one more hour before cleaning. He paced around the living room, his tie loose and fists tight.
“So you refused him?”
“No. I just need time.”
“More time? That man has been in love with you for two years. He’s been waiting until you were of age so he could approach you. He’s the most desirable alpha in Ardaine, and he wants you. You should be over the moon! What the hell do you need time for?”
They would force me. Could I accept Valentin’s offer? But the memory of the kiss had me cringing. I couldn’t marry a man whose kiss made me want to throw up my dinner.
“We agreed on a week,” I said pleadingly. “One week, Father. Then I’ll give him an answer.”
“Unless you’re a complete fool, you will marry Valentin.
And you’re not a fool, are you? You’re going to call the man right now, apologize, and invite him for a private family dinner tomorrow.
You’ll wear what your papa chooses for you and be the sweetest little omega, with fucking hearts in your eyes! ”
Father loomed above me, fuming. I’d never seen him this angry. Then again, I’d never defied my parents. Not since that one time I’d thought dragons were real. They weren’t. I’d been a fool. A naive child.
Was I making a mistake? Was Valentin the best my life had to offer?
“Bernard, there’s no need to swear at the boy,” my papa said from the sofa. “I think Ansel’s being clever. I say to keep them wanting.” He winked at me.
Father turned to Papa, and his voice softened. “What if Valentin changes his mind?”
“He won’t. As you said, he’s been circling this house like a vulture since Ansel’s seventeenth birthday.
He can wait a few more days. He might be rich and attractive, but so is our Ansel.
” Papa stretched out his arm from his seat and put his hand on my father’s forearm soothingly.
“Valentin won’t find a better match, and he knows it. ”
Quietly, I waited for my parents’ debate to unfold. Technically, my papa wasn’t on my side even though right now, his argument helped my situation. For once, I was grateful for his toxic notions about romance. It would give me time to figure out what the hell was going on in my head.
“Ansel, give me your phone, please,” Papa said.
Knowing there was no point in arguing, I did as I was told. My papa typed in the code—I wasn’t allowed to keep it secret from my parents.
“You don’t have any lectures next week, am I right?” he asked offhandedly as his fingers flew over the screen.
“No, it’s fall break. The campus is closed until next Monday.”
He hummed and typed some more. Then he handed me the device back, smiling conspiratorially.
“There. Read it out loud.”
“Dear Valentin, I’m sorry for my overreaction earlier,” I read. “I’ve been so anxious, I barely know what was said. My parents are sending me on a short trip to rest my nerves, but I’ll be back in the city in a week. Please, visit me on Friday at seven. Yours, Ansel.”
I glowered at the message. It read disgustingly coy. But, of course, my papa had already sent it.
“It doesn’t sound like me at all.”
My papa cackled. “Ah, you’re so sweet, Ansel. He’ll never guess, don’t worry. Alphas don’t get these nuances. Besides, he already knows you suffer from anxiety attacks sometimes. To him, it might even be a part of your allure.”
My stomach was starting to ache. It happened when I was most frustrated. “Since when is anxiety attractive?”
“Weakness can be your greatest strength, my dear boy. You just have to use it right.”
“Pray it works,” my father said darkly. He refilled my papa’s glass and poured himself a large whiskey.
The phone beeped in my hands.
“What does he say?” Papa asked.
I blew out a breath and opened the text. I recited it robotically. “I understand, darling, and hope you feel better soon. I’ll be thinking of our first kiss, V.”
The reminder of the so-called kiss made me cringe. I should have told the man no right away. I was such a coward.
Clapping theatrically, Papa stood and headed for the bar. “Like I said. Keep them wanting.”
Father sent me one last withering look. “You must go on that trip now.”
“Can I go to Granddad’s cabin?”
“Out of the question. Nobody’s been there in two years. It’s falling apart. I’m booking you a hotel down in Juliane Beach. It has excellent security, and the entire resort is protected from paparazzi. Howard will come with you. You can’t stay in the city and be caught lying to your future husband.”
My future husband.
“Thank you, Father,” I mumbled, defeated. At least I could disappear for a week. Howard was my papa’s driver and sort of bodyguard. He was the friendliest of the staff and quiet, so while I would have loved to go alone, it could have been much worse.
I left the living room in a daze.
How did I even get to this point?
This morning, I’d been excited about the party, even about seeing Valentin.
That had been before the man’s kiss made me sick.
I didn’t want to marry him. I couldn’t. The idea of touching him again terrified me. And he’d want sex. I couldn’t even imagine that.
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. I’d been an exceptionally obedient and responsible child all my life, and my parents trusted me implicitly.
I’d been going on solo vacations since I turned seventeen—always at secure, high-end resorts, of course, and with a personal driver.
My psychologist had recommended alone time in peaceful destinations to alleviate my anxiety, so that was what I’d been doing.
But the thought of spending a week at yet another hotel had me on the verge of tears. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.
A plan began forming in my head, hazy at first, but ever so slowly, it solidified.
Could I pull off something like that?
What about Howard?
I got up and peeked into the hallway. The house was dark and quiet, the entire household asleep, as they should be at two in the morning. Tiptoeing around, I started packing for a week in the forest.
At five, my heart pounding in my throat, I snuck into the staff wing. In the hallway behind the laundry rooms, I typed the code into the key box on the wall and seized the spare fob to the Audi.
The next day, I got out of the car at the Juliane Beach Blue Excellence Hotel, checked in, and let Howard carry my luggage upstairs to the royal suite. Then I told him I needed to rest because of a migraine.
“Are you sure, sir?”
“Yes, I’m sure. If I need anything, I’ll call room service. Take a day off, Howard. Walk on the beach, have a few drinks, and I’ll see you tomorrow at dinner.”
Howard smiled at me, good man, and wished me a speedy recovery.
After closing the door behind him, I waited for five minutes. I opened the largest suitcase, pulled my backpack out, and went back to the hotel’s parking lot.
I got into the Audi using the spare key, went shopping, then drove all the way to Cross River National Park. I stopped at the park border to pee and sat in the passenger seat for a while, staring at my phone.
It had two bars, but further into the mountains, there wouldn’t be any cell signal.
I typed up an email and scheduled it for tomorrow night, when Howard would realize I’d left and alert my parents. I hoped he wouldn’t get into too much trouble because of me.
Dear Papa and Father,
I couldn’t relax at the resort and decided to go somewhere alone. I promise I’ll be very careful and safe. I just need to think about the important decision I have to make. I’ll be back in Ardaine by Friday.
I love you dearly,
Ansel
As I drove up the long, winding gravel road, my stomach, which had been in knots for days, finally loosened. I rolled the window down and breathed in the smell of damp forest soil and pine.
How I’d missed this place!
I parked on the side of the road by the turning point and trekked along the lake to the cabin. I had to return for the supplies but managed to bring everything in just before nightfall.
The cabin smelled musty, but I left the door and window open to air it out.
I wiped off the dust from the few shelves with a wet cloth, shook out the mattress and the old wool blanket, and spread out my sleeping bag on top.
The firewood in the shed was covered with spider webs, but it was dry.
I carried three baskets inside and lined the logs along the wall.
The nights weren’t freezing, but if it rained, it would be nice to have a fire.
Besides, since there was no electricity, I’d need to get the stove going if I wanted to cook.
Before I went to bed, I sat in front of the cabin to watch the stars like Granddad used to do.
The forest hummed, dark and quiet, no human being anywhere for miles, and I felt like I could breathe again.
Not even the buzz of a mosquito right by my ear could spoil my mood.
How come I felt so anxious at home and in the city but never when I was alone in the forest?
Maybe I didn’t really belong in that life.
Maybe I could do something else. Be someone else.
If I kept doing what my parents told me, I would end up trapped in an unhappy marriage for the rest of my life. I’d take a few days to pull myself together, then go home and face the music.
One thing was certain. There was no way I was going to marry Valentin Lyon.