Chapter 10 The Impossible Goodbye
The Impossible Goodbye
Pascal
As soon as we left the parking lot by the national park, Ansel’s phone began bleeping with messages. From the corner of my eye, I saw him chew on his lower lip as he read them.
“Everything okay?”
“Not really.”
“Your parents?”
“Yes. I need to call them before they tell the FBI that I’ve been kidnapped or something.”
“Do you want me to stop somewhere so you can make a call in private?”
“You already know everything anyway.”
He took a couple of deep breaths and lifted the phone to his ear.
“Hi. Before you say anything, I was at Granddad’s cabin with no signal, but I’m on my way home now.”
Yelling ensued that I couldn’t decipher, not even with my slightly superior hearing.
There were two voices, so I assumed his parents had him on speaker phone.
A word came through here and there. I heard “irresponsible,” “hotel,” “police,” then “Valentin.” I tried not to let the name affect me, but of course it did. I gripped the steering wheel tighter.
Ansel listened quietly to his parents ranting for a good couple of minutes.
“I’m on my way back to the city,” he said evenly. “I should be at the estate in a couple of hours.”
More arguing, but not as loud as before.
“I’ll explain when I get there.”
Ansel averted his face, looking out through the passenger window.
I drove up the interchange and accelerated onto the highway. The two lanes stretched in front of us, eerily empty this early in the morning, but the traffic would get worse closer to the city.
“I will explain everything when I get home. I’m safe, nothing serious has happened, but I need to end the call.”
This time, just one voice came from the speaker, distinct and menacing. “I have meetings at the headquarters today. You’ll wait at home until I come back.” I assumed that was Ansel’s alpha father.
“I will,” Ansel said calmly. “I have to go now. See you soon.”
After his parents hung up, Ansel rummaged in his backpack until he pulled out a cable. He gestured at the console between us.
“Can I charge it here?”
“Of course.”
He plugged in the phone to charge and slumped in his seat. I gave the road the little attention it needed, most of my senses on him, but I didn’t know how to read his expression.
“Are you okay?”
“Surprisingly, yes.” He gave a little scoff. “I’m angry and finding out that it helps with my anxiety. I should get angry more often.”
“What are you angry about?”
“That they don’t care. The whole phone call was about how my disappearance screwed up their schedule.
They had to cancel going to see a play because of me.
They asked where I’d been, but not why I’d gone to the cabin or how I was doing.
I finish the call, and the first thing you ask is if I’m okay. You don’t even know me.”
“I’m getting to know you.”
Ansel blew out a long breath. “Sorry. I’m just so mad.”
“You have every right to be.”
“As soon as I said I was on my way, they began yelling at me like I was twelve.”
“Maybe they yelled because they were worried about you?”
“Worried? They don’t care about how I’m feeling as long as I do what I’m told.”
“I’m sorry, Ansel.”
He wrapped his arms around his torso and scooted lower in the seat. With a sigh, he rested his head on the passenger window.
“Can we stop somewhere during the next half an hour or so? I think I’ll need to pee soon.”
“Sure.”
“How is your foot? I can drive.”
“I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”
“Are you one of those people who never lets others drive their car?”
I chuckled. “I swear, I’m not. It’s yours if you want.”
“That’s okay. I’m all over the place. Better you drive and keep us intact.”
We rode in silence for a while, but in my mind, it was earsplitting havoc.
In a mere couple of hours, I’d have to say goodbye to him. After he’d touched me in my dragon form, I had no doubt that Ansel was my mate. Every instinct I had was screaming at me to hold on to him and never let him out of my sight ever again.
Except Ansel didn’t know any of that. He had no idea something like fated mates even existed. He was just freeing himself from the constraints of another relationship, fighting his parents’ demands, and now I would swoop in and snatch him for myself? I couldn’t do that.
But could I open the car door in front of his home and let him leave?
Impossible.
All the options, most of them dead ends, tumbled around in my head. When the Ardaine skyline rose ahead, I wasn’t any closer to a solution than I’d been last night.
Ansel had to choose me freely. He had to recognize the bond himself. For that, I had to let him go.
I stopped to refuel, and Ansel used the bathroom. He came back with two cups of coffee.
“I didn’t know what you liked, so I took one with milk and one black. The sugars are in my pocket.”
“I’m fine with whatever.”
“You sure?”
“Sure.”
“Can I take the one with milk?”
“Of course. I prefer black.”
He pouted adorably. “You said you were fine with whatever.”
“I was being a gentleman.”
“Okay, then.” He thrust the lidded cup at me.
“Thank you. Can you put your parents’ place into the navigation?”
“Sure.”
Ansel typed and searched while I drank my coffee.
The route appeared on the screen, only thirty-two minutes to our destination.
It was barely nine in the morning when we took off from the gas station.
My one and only meeting for the day was at ten.
It was technically fall break, so nobody had missed me yesterday.
With everything that had happened to me during the weekend, it seemed odd that I’d be at work on time.
Reluctant but not finding a way to postpone the inevitable, I started the car and navigated back onto the freeway.
I needed to ask Ansel for his number or at least give him mine. I could tell him I was worried about him and wanted him to let me know how it went with his parents. That wouldn’t be a lie.
As I was sorting out in my head what to say, Ansel wiggled in his seat and turned to face me.
“Pascal? Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“We’ve established that I could not ask you anything.”
Actually, being my mate, he could. But he didn’t know that. “You can, but I might not answer.”
“This is not dragon related.”
“Okay. Ask away.”
“Um. I don’t want to say goodbye and never see you again. It feels like we could…be friends. And I’d like that.”
I fought to keep my voice level. “I’d like that too.”
“Could we maybe try and stay in touch?”
“I can give you my number. That way you can message me how it went with your parents.”
I glanced at him briefly just when his smile lit up. The sun peeked out from behind a mountain as we drove, casting golden beams all around him.
He was dazzling.
“Awesome. Tell me.”
He grabbed his phone, and I rattled off the digits. My phone vibrated a few seconds later.
“I just sent a hi, so you have my number too.”
“Good. Thank you.”
Ansel put his phone away and finished his coffee.
After a while, he fidgeted, and I could feel his gaze on me. “Was it weird that I asked?”
“No. I’m glad you did.”
“I don’t have many friends,” he said. “With the way my family socializes, it’s complicated. My father always assumes people keep in touch only because they want something. In many cases, he’s right.”
“What about your omega dad?”
“Papa lives in his own world. He likes to think that he’s somehow superior to others, but he’s really just an outsider. Most people find him difficult.”
It struck me how lonely Ansel’s life must have been with parents like that. As if reading my thoughts, he said: “Among my family, I was closest to Granddad.”
Whom he’d lost two years ago.
“I’m sorry, Ansel.”
He shrugged. “It is what it is.”
“I wonder how he knew about us. People can’t see us after dark.”
“I have no idea. Maybe something happened? Like with you and me.”
“Maybe.”
I wished I could delay the goodbye, and it was possible I subconsciously tried, driving just a little slower than I normally would. All too soon, the countryside changed from wilderness to parks and golf courses. We passed a few gated estates and private driveways.
The navigation showed one last left turn, then the red dot appeared, announcing our destination. I stopped in front of a tall iron fence, and Ansel got out to talk to a guard in a small gatehouse. When the gate began sliding to the side, he hopped back into the passenger seat.
The road wasn’t asphalt but paved with small cobblestones in mosaic patterns.
As we drove, a thick forest of oaks and pines opened into a vast lawn with a fountain in the middle.
The driveway circled around it and widened into a parking area big enough for at least eight vehicles in front of a stone staircase.
The house rose above us, four stories of sheer opulence, complete with a couple of snarling marble lions on a balcony above the main entrance and gargoyles lurking under the roof.
Freaking gargoyles.
“My great-great-grandfather was a fan of old European architecture,” Ansel explained, sounding guilty for some reason. “He rebuilt the house in a blend of various historical styles.”
“I’m not judging.”
He laughed. “You were. But that’s okay. I know how it looks.”
“And you grew up here?”
“Yes. I’d show you around, but you said you need to be at work at ten.”
That. I barely had time to help Ansel with his bags.
We parked and unloaded Ansel’s things. I was about to carry the canvas bags up the stairs, but Ansel stopped me.
“We have staff. Leave it.”
He stood by the base of the grand staircase, looking even smaller than before. How could I leave him here unprotected?
Ansel gave me a sad smile. “I guess this is it.”
“You have my number.”
“I do. I’ll message you tonight.”
I nodded, afraid that if I said anything else, my voice wouldn’t hold. I opened my arms, and Ansel stepped into the embrace. He laid his head on my chest and let me hold him.
Inhaling the sweet cream and blueberry scent from his hair, I closed my eyes.
“Thank you so much, Pascal.”