Chapter 23
He’s not budging. We’re chest to chest, and his eyes are fixed on mine.
Our chests rise and fall in synchronicity as our breathing becomes heavier, darker, deeper.
Our mouths come together, in a bruising, teeth clashing kiss.
I shove my hands into his hair as he grasps my hips, and I find I’m being walked back into my apartment.
I groan when his tongue swipes over mine, tasting, tangling, and tormenting.
He’s in control now, his Dom surfacing, and he bites my bottom lip to the point of exquisite pain.
He’s clouding my thoughts and my actions, taking everything he wants from me.
Until we break apart for air, then clarity rushes back to my brain, and I push him away. “Fuck! You need to leave.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy, making a show of adjusting his dick through his jeans.
“What? Fuck no. I’m not going anywhere.” He runs his fingers through his hair, making it messier than I did.
“There’s something between us, Drake. We both felt it the night we met; we both felt it with just one touch. Now we have a chance to build on it.”
I shrug, brushing him off. “It’s not gonna happen, Finnegan. Go back home.”
He matches my shrug but turns to the door. “I’m not going anywhere, boy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I watch him saunter out, not bothering to close the door.
When I reach it, he’s standing by the lift, the unlit call button showing it hasn’t been pressed yet.
He looks at me and grins. “You’ll be thinking of me when you rub that one out.
” He looks at my sweats and the outline of my still half hard dick.
Then he turns to face the brushed metal lift door and presses the button.
I stay in the doorway and watch the door swish open, still at my floor since he just got out of it less than ten minutes ago.
What the hell is happening? I’m totally blindsided by him, and of course, the bastard was right. The moment I get into bed, my hand—working by itself, the traitorous beast—travels down my stomach to my abs and strokes over my dick.
The smug smirk on Finn’s face is front and centre in my head as I stroke my hardening length.
The guy’s a real dick, but fuck, he kisses like a dream.
A dirty, sexy, and sweaty dream, but still a dream.
It doesn’t take me long to get lost in the image of the infuriating man on his knees with his mouth around my dick.
I play with my balls as I stroke harder and faster, tugging on them to delay the sparks of the orgasm starting to build.
But I can’t hold it back for long, and as I come, his name is on my lips as a prayer and a curse.
I’m screwed.
I don’t hear anything else from him for a week. For all I know, he’s gone back to Lincoln.
When I walk into the gym, Royal and Memphis are leaning against the rec room wall, laughing with Noah.
I let out a long breath, glad that Finn isn’t with them.
Then I’m annoyed because one of them must have given him my address.
They haven’t noticed me stomping up to them; Memphis even jumps a little as I step into their space. There it is—my answer.
“Why did you give Finnegan my address?” I snap, then step back a little when Royal pushes himself away from the wall and positions himself next to his boy.
“Finnegan,” Memphis snorts. “You must really hate him if you’re using his full name.
He hates being called that. He’s caned people for less,” he whispers to my brother.
Then he shrugs. “He asked for it; why is it a problem? I thought you got on okay with him. You helped him out when I went to hospital. Anyway, he said he wanted to thank you for something. He didn’t tell me what.
So, what did he want? Is he hoping for some dirty sex with you? ”
Damn, why does Memphis always see through us brothers. Can he tell we kissed, and why I’ve jacked off twice to the memory of the kiss? “You should’ve asked me, Memphis. You know I don’t like people just turning up at my place, especially strangers.”
Both Royal and Memphis frown. “He’s not a stranger; he’s my best friend.”
“Yeah, well he’s not mine. Has he left now, or am I going to keep getting visits from him?” I cross my arms over my chest, not sure why I’m letting this annoy me so much. But the bloke has really got under my skin.
“Hey, calm down. We get the message,” Royal takes over. “No more visitors to your place.”
“And no, he hasn’t left. He’s not going back; he’s got no reason to stay there so he’s moving here.” Memphis looks thrilled at his friend’s decision. Me not so much.
I walk away and get ready to spend the day with twelve teenagers.
Is this really my life now? I thought being home would level me out.
Having my brothers and my dads close by would be good for me.
Now, I’m not so sure. I should start putting the feelers out for another protection job.
The thought isn’t doing it for me either.
I could book a holiday, get out of the country for a few weeks.
I’ve always fancied touring the US on a Harley.
I could look into doing that. Yeah, that sounds more like it.
With two of my brothers loved up, it will be either me or Knox to get the matchmaking attention.
Pops isn’t going to be satisfied until all his boys are happy and settled.
To my happy surprise, Lucas and Clark seem to be best buddies now—perhaps something more seeing how close they get when they talk quietly together. Whether it’s just friendship or the start of something more, I’m happy for them.
The day goes fast, and I’m surprised when a woman, probably in her late thirties approaches me.
“It’s Drake, isn’t it? Lucas talks about you all the time.
I know that something happened here last week, and I don’t need to know what, but thank you.
Whatever you said to Clark and Lucas has made a difference.
It’s hard to make friends when you’re a foster kid, and the fear of being moved on or going back home is always hanging over them.
He’s been lonely, and Clark seems a great kid.
I hope they continue being friends when school starts again.
That’s all I wanted to say, just thank you. ”
And just like that, the gloomy, trapped feeling I’ve had all day lifts, thanks to this lady and some kind words of appreciation. “Hey, no problem. Me and my brothers were all fostered, then adopted by Kip and Robin. I was thirteen when I met them. They’ve always taught us to pay it forward.”
She looks curious. “They adopted you even though you were older?”
“They did. I think Saint and Royal were seventeen, I was fourteen, and Knox was fifteen.”
“Do you think they would mind if I spoke to them. I’d love to adopt Lucas, but I’m not sure how or if I can.”
I explain that Robin was head of social services here when I went to live with them and that he’d love to talk things over with her. I call my other dad over, and after introducing them, I leave them to talk alone.
I’d never given the hows and whys a thought when they asked us if we’d like to be with them permanently.
I just accepted that they wanted us and that was it.
How much paperwork does actually go into fostering kids, let alone adopting them?
At the time, all I knew was my mum didn’t or couldn’t have me anymore.
Could I do it? Foster kids? I’ve never thought about it before.
I doubt it’s the right time for me; I can’t even decide if I want to stay here for good.
The idea doesn’t exactly thrill me. A chat with Robin about her could possibly help, so when everything is done here, I head for my parents’ house.
I know Dad is teaching a self-defence class tonight because both Noah and Memphis are in the lesson.
“Hey, Pops, you busy?” I call out as I step through the front door. The smell of freshly baked bread fills the hallway, which means there’s homemade soup to go with it. That’s my dinner sorted out for the night.
His footsteps come from upstairs. “Hello, love. This is a nice surprise. Did you want something, or did your dad mention me making soup?” He chuckles as he descends the stairs.
“The soup is an added bonus. I want to ask you something.” I follow him into the kitchen, where we spend ninety percent of our time together.
“Oh. That sounds ominous. Are you okay?” He sits down at the large table and pushes a chair out with his foot.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just fidgety, and it got me thinking about my mum and how she was always on the move, never wanting to stay in one place for any length of time.
Is that why I’m never settled? I’m always looking for something to anchor me.
At the time, I never thought it was wanderlust; I thought everything I did and wanted to do was and is to protect people.
I’ve done things I’ll never be proud of, but I’ve always done it with the hope that it’s making the world a better place. Or at least the parts I’ve been in.”
He looks at me for a few long seconds. I know he’s thinking of the correct way to answer me. “It’s possible, I suppose. What has you wondering? Are you thinking of leaving again?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Something’s missing.
” I think of my brothers and their men, how happy they are together.
All moving on in happy lives. “I wonder if all the things I’ve done have been pointless, that I haven’t actually achieved anything.
Did I do any good in the army? Were the sacrifices worth it?
The world is still fucked up. I’ve done some fucked up stuff for the sake of this country.
I’ve walked away with a clear conscience because the people I stopped were more than willing to hurt, kill, and maim others, often dying themselves in the process.
I’ve been to my comrades funerals; I buried the man I expected to live my whole life with.
I’ve come to terms with it because not living your life to the best of your ability is not honouring the ultimate sacrifice they made.
” Jesus, where is all this coming from? I didn’t plan any of this monologue.
It’s all true. Even if I’ve never said it out loud, I’ve known it all along.
“Oh, Drake. You’ve had a positive influence on the world. You’ve knowingly put yourself in some of the most dangerous hotspots, because you believed it was the right thing to do. What has this got to do with your mum?”
“Do you know how to find out where she’s buried?” I blurt out. I want to go and see her grave; does she even have a headstone.
He looks at me stunned. He blinks a few times before taking a deep breath. “What makes you think she’s dead?”
“I was told by…” My words get stuck in my throat at the thought of Warrior, Rees, whoever the fuck he is. “I met someone from back then. He recognised me and filled me in.”
“Who? Who did you meet, Drake? And when, where were you?”
He knows what happened to me. Did Saint tell him, well, them, because Saint wouldn’t have told one and not the other.
“I think you know already,” I croak out, embarrassment coursing through me. “Who told you?”
He’s pensive for a while, figuring out how to get through this conversation.
“It was mentioned to us when your dad and I were at our club. You know how things in our community get around. I wasn’t going to say anything because you hadn’t told us.
I don’t know what went on, or who you were with, but I think I can put it together now. ”
“Warrior. It was Warrior, or Rees as he calls himself now. He basically orchestrated the whole thing, chatted to me at Bound, said the right things, he even did some good things, yet I didn’t even recognise him.
How could I? I was only a kid when I last saw him.
I’m not telling you what he did to me, but he told me Mum was dead, OD’d after coming out of jail. ”
“Oh, Drake, my poor boy. How bad did he hurt you?” His chair scrapes on the floor as he stands up quickly and is ‘round the table to wrap his arms around me, his cheek to my hair. He turns his head and kisses my head. “Are you okay? Did you get help from your brothers?”
There’s no way I’ll tell him how bad it was. “No. I called a friend. Saint came around a few days later to check up on me, which of course led to the others coming over. Back to my mum. Do you know if she’s alive?”
“Not for sure, but she signed the adoption paperwork. I haven’t seen or heard from her since.” He shakes his head, probably wishing he had more to tell me.
I hold back the question that’s sitting on the tip of my tongue. I don’t ask if she asked about me. I’m frightened of the answer.
Pops straightens up and surreptitiously wipes his eyes. “That got intense quickly. Really, Drake, are you okay? We don’t want you to leave again.”
Before I can answer, the front door opens, and a cacophony of voices tumble down the hallway. The moment is lost. Dad’s home, and it sounds like he’s brought the whole family.