Chapter 1 #3
Ember gave Eira a smile, something she found herself doing more often now than ever before, as she walked past her and into the dining room.
Maeve was already talking animatedly about her day while simultaneously inhaling the fresh bread that was waiting in the middle of the table.
Eira’s smile was turned downward as she entered the room with the stew hovering beside her.
She hadn’t spoken much since returning home from the town meeting, but Ember could tell with the way her eyes flitted between the three of them that Chief Thornsten’s words weighed heavy on her heart.
“Can we still go to Heksheim to practice tonight?” Fen asked, as he shoveled stew into his mouth with a fervor. “The sun shouldn’t set for another few hour, and we’ll be home before—"
“No,” Eira cut in. “Absolutely not.”
Fen let out a huff. “But, Mum, you said—"
“I said no, Fenrir.”
“Don’t argue with your mum,” Otto said before Fen could argue any further.
“Those poor children,” Eira sniffled, as she shook her head and took a shaky breath. “I can’t be with you every moment, but I won’t let you wander off to find danger on your own.”
“Mum, I think we can handle ourselves for the—" Fen began, but quickly snapped his mouth shut as Eira’s eyes bore into him.
And that was the end of that.
Supper was quiet for the most part, everyone seeming to be lost in their own thoughts. forgetting the others were there entirely. It wasn’t until the last bites of stew were being eaten, that a lightbulb flashed on in Ember’s head.
“Wasn’t there something you needed to talk to me about?
” she asked, as she looked between Eira and Otto.
The couple exchanged a knowing glance, and Otto pushed away from the table and quickly left the room.
Eira’s eyes lit up as they met with Ember’s, and she wiped a single tear away that was starting to fall down her cheek.
Otto quickly re-entered the dining room and sat back in his seat, laying a sheet of paper on the table in front of him.
“Ember, we love you so much,” Eira whispered, as she reached across the table to grab her hand. “We have loved you since the day we met you. You have always been ours.”
Ember’s heart raced in her chest, and it felt like there was cotton lodged in her throat. She quickly wiped away the tear forming on her bottom lash and gripped her hands together.
Is this actually happening?
Something like fear ripped through her chest as every ending with every family she had ever been with tumbled through her mind. Had she become too much? Did they need to focus on protecting Fen and Maeve and not have time for her anymore? Had they finally had enough?
Otto put an arm over his wife’s shoulder.
“We have a sort of back-to-school gift for you, If you’ll have it.
” He pushed the folded paper across the table and under Ember’s tightly clenched fists.
She didn’t realize just how tight she was holding them until she felt Fen’s hands lay on top and give her a gentle squeeze.
His smiled calmed her like nothing she had ever felt.
Even when everything in her felt turbulent and out of control, he was there to calm the waters.
Like a lighthouse in the middle of a hurricane.
Ember unfolded the paper and read it quietly to herself, willing her hands to stop shaking.
After a few moments, she looked up at Eira and Otto’s expectant eyes and felt her breath hitch in her chest. “What is this,” she whispered, as she bit her bottom lip.
Her heart beat rapidly in her throat. She knew what it was, but she needed to hear them say it— needed to hear the words out loud.
Eira gave her a smile as tears flowed freely down her cheeks. “We’re asking if you would give us the honor of adopting you, Ember Lothbrok.”
Ember was certain the world had stopped turning.
She had thought about this moment for the last year—the moment she truly became theirs—but it didn’t feel like she expected, not really.
She expected excitement, insurmountable joy that she could barely contain, but there was something else there, something that she hadn’t expected to feel tugging at her chest. Her throat tightened as she tried to swallow.
It was a feeling she had pushed away, something she had tried not to feel for months.
It felt like grief.
She shook the thought away quickly, and it wasn’t until Maeve squealed and ran around the table, wrapping her in a giant hug, that she remembered to breathe. Eira’s face fell, ever so slightly, and Ember tried to put on a smile for her.
“Thank you so much,” she replied, as her hands shook, trying not to look at the paper again.
“Is it something I can think about?” She didn’t know why she needed to think about it.
She should be ecstatic. She should be jumping up and down with joy at the thought of having a real family again, a permanent family.
It was all she had wanted since she was six years old.
“Of course, Mo Chroí.” Otto smiled as he squeezed his wife’s hand. “Take all the time you need.”
Ember nodded, forcing a smile as she swallowed the lump in her throat. What was wrong with her? What was there to think about? She should just say yes.
But there was that feeling, that tug in her stomach that reminded her that she wasn’t a Kitt, no matter how well she might fit into their home.
And if she agreed to be adopted, if she agreed to be a part of their family forever, how long would it take for her to forget who she was?
Who her parents were? It felt like she was replacing them—betraying them.
How could she let them go so permanently?
She plastered on a fake smile as everyone chattered around her, but she couldn’t stop the dread pooling in her stomach. Fen gave her a half smile, but she could see the worry playing behind his eyes. No matter what she decided, someone was going to get hurt.
Could she really handle the grief of losing who she was all over again?