Chapter Ten
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CYRIL UNDERSTOOD WHAT Asher was saying, and it scared him.
He didn’t want what had happened to Asher to happen to Vale.
He didn’t want to lose himself in the Threshold the way Asher’s parents had.
He would fight for that not to happen, but he wasn’t sure he’d have a choice.
The Threshold wasn’t something he could avoid, not if he continued using his ability, but it wasn’t just his job.
Being a necromancer was who he was, and his ability was a part of him.
He swallowed. As much as he understood Asher’s pain, it didn’t make what Asher had done right.
He’d killed people who hadn’t done anything to him or anyone else.
From what Iris had said, neither Marcus nor Diana had been anywhere close to crossing the Threshold.
They’d been headed that way, apparently, but no matter what would have happened, they hadn’t needed to die.
Asher had decided that they should. He’d said that he was helping their families, but all he’d done was hurt them.
They’d lost people they loved for no reason.
They would probably never find out why Marcus and Diana had been killed, either.
Cyril was pretty sure that Vale planned on killing Asher, and while he wanted to argue against it, he wasn’t sure he could.
Asher was dangerous, and Cyril was certain that if he was allowed to leave, he’d continue killing.
He’d probably come after Cyril himself eventually, and then Vale wouldn’t have a choice.
He would kill Asher, and he’d do so happily.
But before any of this happened, they needed answers.
They needed to know more about Meridian and where they could find them.
Hopefully, by the time their conversation was done, Asher would understand that what he’d done was wrong.
Cyril wouldn’t count on it. From the way Asher spoke, it was obvious that he didn’t have any regrets and didn’t see what he’d done as wrong.
He fully believed he’d been helping people by killing others, and he seemed to think that this was his duty or something.
“Tell us about Meridian,” he told Asher, hoping he didn’t sound too shaky.
He didn’t want Asher to think he was afraid of him.
He wasn’t sure that he was. Asher couldn’t hurt him right now, but in a way, he was terrifying.
It was easy to imagine what he would’ve done if he’d gotten to Cyril before Cyril had gotten to him.
Asher stared at Cyril long enough that it made Cyril nervous. Cyril stared back, knowing Vale would intervene if something went wrong.
“Why do you want to know about him?” Asher finally asked.
“I think you know.”
“He’s gone.”
Cyril sucked in a breath. Was Asher saying that Meridian was dead?
“Stop bullshitting us,” Vale snapped. “We know Meridian is alive. Who is he?”
“You mean who was he? He died when he crossed the Threshold.”
Cyril told himself to relax. Asher believed that whoever crossed the Threshold died in a sense, so of course if Meridian had crossed, he was dead in Asher’s eyes.
Maybe Asher wasn’t wrong, but Cyril needed to believe that he was.
The thought of crossing the Threshold was scary, but the thought of losing himself while he did it was worse.
He would do anything in his power to come back as himself.
He just wasn’t sure it would be a possibility.
He’d spent hours trying not to think about it.
It was easier to focus on finding Asher and stopping him, and they had.
Now, Cyril couldn’t avoid thinking about the Threshold.
Sitting here in the back of this van, watching Asher watch him with that certain look, Cyril couldn’t pretend that the Threshold didn’t have anything to do with him anymore.
The Threshold was real, and it was waiting, and the only question was whether Cyril would reach it knowing how to deal with it or stumble into it the way everyone else seemed to.
He refused to stumble. He wasn’t planning on crossing it at all if he could help it, but the fear that he might not be able to help it sat in his throat like something he’d swallowed wrong. He breathed through it. He’d gotten good at breathing through things lately.
That was why he needed to find Meridian. He had to find out what happened exactly when a necromancer crossed the Threshold and what he needed to be ready for when it happened. He had to know how he could make sure he wouldn’t lose himself.
Asher turned his attention back to Cyril. “You’re close.”
Cyril told himself not to react, but Vale did. Of course he did. He always did when it came to Cyril.
“Either explain what you’re saying or keep your mouth shut,” he barked.
Cyril reached for him, squeezing his arm. He didn’t want Vale to do something he’d regret, and he definitely would regret hurting Asher before they got answers.
“Don’t worry about me,” Cyril told Asher. “No matter how close I come to the Threshold, I’m not planning on crossing it.”
“That’s what you all say, but then you get too curious. You want more power.”
“I’m not your parents. I’m sorry that you got hurt and that they didn’t think of the consequences their actions would have on you, but you shouldn’t put that on me.
I had nothing to do with their decision or what they did.
I’m me, and I know what I’m ready for. I will not cross the Threshold, no matter how appealing it might seem.
” Because it would mean possibly losing himself and Vale, and that wasn’t something Cyril was willing to risk.
He understood why Asher thought that he would, though.
If Asher’s own parents hadn’t felt that he was enough reason not to cross the Threshold, he wouldn’t have much faith in other people making a different choice.
“It doesn’t matter who you are. Eventually, you’ll cross over, and you’ll destroy everyone you love and everyone who loves you. There’s nothing you can do to avoid it. You’re a necromancer. It’s in you.”
Cyril told himself not to listen. His ability was in him, something he couldn’t and didn’t want to get rid of, but that didn’t mean he would be as reckless as Asher’s parents.
He knew what he stood to lose if he wasn’t careful, and he wasn’t willing to risk it.
Asher was hurt, but he didn’t know Cyril.
If Cyril had to stop using his ability in order to keep his sanity and be with Vale, he would.
It wasn’t his preferred solution, and he hoped they’d find another way to deal with it, but he wouldn’t hesitate.
Vale and their happiness together were more important than his ability, and they were definitely more important than whatever knowledge the Threshold might give him.
That didn’t mean that Cyril was going to bury his head in the sand when it came to the Threshold. He needed to know more about it, and the only way to find out was through Meridian. That meant he needed to get answers out of Asher.
He wasn’t sure he could.
* * * *
VALE WAS READY TO PUNCH Asher, but he doubted it would get them any more answers than Cyril’s questions had. Still, after half an hour, they had nothing, so he dragged Cyril out of the van. They both needed some fresh air and to be away from Asher for a moment. It could only do them good.
“Well?” Russell asked from where he was leaning against a tree. “Can we kill him now?”
“No one is killing anyone,” Cyril declared, looking from Russell to Vale.
He hesitated, then looked at Rachel, too.
She didn’t pay him any attention. She was doing something on her computer, sitting in her car.
She probably wanted to kill Asher as much as Vale did, but she was smarter about it. She always was.
Robbie was in the backseat, doing something on his phone and looking bored. Vale supposed it was better than him freaking out, which he’d half-expected.
“He’s not talking,” Vale told Russell.
“Do we really need him to?” Russell asked. “I mean, I know you’re determined to find this person you’re looking for, Cyril, but surely it’s not worth leaving the guy alive. He killed a bunch of people.”
“So did you and Vale,” Cyril pointed out.
There was no heat in his words, and Russell didn’t look offended.
Vale wasn’t either. Cyril was right. Vale and Russell had killed people, and even though they’d done so because they were being paid, it didn’t make them any better than Asher.
In a way, it was probably worse. Asher was doing something he felt was right.
Vale and Russell had just been after a paycheck.
“I need to know about Meridian,” Cyril continued. “It’s the only way for me to find out about the Threshold and how to avoid getting lost in it. As far as I know, Meridian is the only person who’s crossed it and come back.”
“But everything we know about him tells us that he didn’t come back as himself,” Vale pointed out. “He might not want to help you.”
“But he might decide to, and even if he doesn’t, he might still talk to me.
” Cyril turned to face Vale. “Look, I’m not planning on willingly crossing the Threshold.
Everything I’ve heard about it terrifies me, and if I have to, I’ll stop using my ability.
I won’t be happy about it, but I will. I need to know, though.
I need to be prepared in case I do cross it.
I need to know what will happen when I do and how I can come back and still be myself. ”
Vale hated that Cyril was right. “We’ll go together,” he promised. It was more like an order, really. He wanted Cyril to know he wasn’t doing this on his own.
“We will, but we’re not going anywhere until we know where to find Meridian.”
“And that won’t be a problem,” Rachel called out from the car. “I’m pretty sure I found him. Or her. Or whatever.”
Vale frowned. “Asher uses him when he talked about Meridian, so I’m pretty sure it’s a guy. What do you mean, you found him?”
“I never stopped looking for him, and now that we have Asher, I have a few more pieces of the puzzle.”