Chapter 5 #2
Of course I remembered. I remembered Elliot, eyes sunken and dull, skin paper-thin and stretched tight over his bones.
I remembered looking at the dry, cinnamon-dusted strings of apples Mother used for decoration and being hungry enough that I contemplated eating them.
I remembered the dark. I remembered the stench of despair.
Of missing Eden and her comforting, steady presence so much that it made everything else seem bleaker in comparison.
“Oh, Elliot. Esmer.” She craned her neck so that she could see us, and a hard lump lodged itself in my throat. She looked almost like herself, but the shadows were undeniable. “We tried our best.”
“The cost of his medicine broke us. We no longer could afford it,” Father added.
“Not without sacrifice. And the elixir supply was down to its last vials, with all of winter ahead of us.” His eyes dropped in shame.
“We kept the purest elixir for our children, and we diluted the rest of the village’s supply.
We traded the excess for favors, food, and for a neighboring healer to visit us weekly. ”
“How long did you do this?” They didn’t answer the Light Bringer right away, and horror flooded me. “A month? A season?” The Light Bringer’s attention flicked to Elliot. “Your son appears to be in good health.”
“You have to understand—”
“That winter was five years ago.”
“We know,” the demon inside Mother growled, shoving itself back into her body. “We are aware.”
“W-we started saving more elixir just for ourselves. We intended to do it only for a little while, but we couldn’t risk losing one of them, not again.”
The realization was like a knife into my chest. They’d done it because of Eden’s death. They’d done it because of me.
“You are admitting to tampering with the Maker-given supply for five years,” the Light Bringer roared. “I should refuse your right to purification. Perhaps eternal damnation would be sentence enough.”
“We love our children, my lord.”
“Lord, lord, lord,” Mother mocked. “He is not our lord. He is only Mithras.”
“We just wanted them to be happy and safe,” my father pleaded.
“What you wish for does not matter. Lest that wish would speak of Maker-given goodness.” The Light Bringer’s masked face was impassive, but wisps of fury lurked in his eyes and settled in his mouth.
He motioned for Mother and Father to be yanked up by their bindings, tightening the rope enough that they wouldn’t be able to run.
“Say your goodbyes. You will not get another.”
“I don’t want to say goodbye,” Elliot whispered hoarsely, tears sliding down his face. “I don’t even want to look at them. They’re not—they’re not Mother and Father anymore.”
My stomach churned, sick with guilt.
They had watered down the elixir to save us. Just two parents wanting to keep their surviving children safe in the only way they knew how. If Eden hadn’t become Corrupt—if she hadn’t died—then they likely wouldn’t have been driven to such desperate measures. They would have found another way.
“We don’t need to say goodbye,” I said stiffly, answering for the both of us.
The Light Bringer inclined his head, eyes softening slightly.
“I understand.” He nodded to the nearest two legionnaires.
“Escort them inside and guard the entrance.” To the rest of the Light Legion, he said, “Make camp in this clearing. At dawn, I will purify the Norhavellian Corrupt and right the wrongs of these demon-cursed sinners.”
Light from the torches and darkness from the encroaching night, mingling with the smell of woodsmoke, billowed through the sky as Mother and Father shouted at our backs.
“Forgive us.”
“Forgive us.”
“Forgive us.”
I made the mistake of looking back. I wasn’t sure if I was looking at my parents or the demons within them, but desperate, guilt-ridden words clawed up my throat—words I couldn’t say without risking suspicion.
I shoved the sensation aside, unwilling to confront it, trying instead to focus on Elliot and failing at that, too. My head was throbbing, spinning, heavy.
Forgive me.
Forgive me.
Forgive me.
The Light Legion had ransacked our room.
Paper, clothes, and blankets lay strewn about the chipped wooden floorboards, and a smell—a smell of something other, something not of our family—seeped through the space.
Elliot rushed to his bed and curled against the wall, sobbing into his pillow.
Two men stationed themselves in the stairwell, positioning their bodies so that they could see both inside the room and downstairs into the foyer.
Their faces, partially covered by masks, lacked emotion or even a single distinguishing feature.
“Are we supposed to sleep now?” I asked, feeling strange. My head spun with something resembling amusement. Everything felt false. A distant, crazed vision never meant to last. “We will need elixir first.”
The legionnaires didn’t respond. Their golden masks cast such dark shadows over their eyes.
“Even if our parents are Corrupt, Elliot and I require it.” Words spun around in my mind, forming aimless, murky sentences—sentences I didn’t wish to bring into existence.
And that word—Corrupt—tasted like bile on my tongue.
“The Light Bringer said that our fate wasn’t decided. We need the elixir. As is proper.”
More silence. They did not so much as twitch.
“You must allow it, or else…” Or else what? I’d throw them in the imaginary dungeons of Norhavellis? Cook them into a stew? Banish them from our property with the pointy end of a spade? Control yourself. “I will get it myself from downstairs.”
The shorter legionnaire leered at me. His beady eyes shone in the faint candlelight as he handed me a vial from the pack he wore underneath his crimson cape. “Aren’t you an irritating one?”
I ground my teeth.
Control yourself, Esmer.
The taller legionnaire clicked his tongue. “Deduct that from the seasonal ration they’ll get tomorrow.”
Dark thoughts, once nameless and without force, rose to meet me.
Tomorrow. The Light Bringer would cleanse Mother’s and Father’s souls, but the process would destroy their mortal bodies.
It was what happened to all Corrupt. Left unchecked, the Corrupt would commit unspeakable, violent crimes against their friends and neighbors. Against their families, too.
But where would Elliot and I go? How would we survive in the village our parents betrayed? The bitter truth laid itself bare: We had nowhere to go.
I sat next to my brother, wrapping my arms around his slight shoulders.
He leaned away from me, burying his face in his hands.
I stroked his hair, settling into what I hoped was a calming rhythm.
Eden used to comfort me in a similar way, brushing or braiding my hair if I was ever uneasy, but I never fully appreciated the gesture.
After her death, I vowed not to make the same mistake again.
“They should’ve just let me die,” Elliot warbled, voice cracking as his hands balled into fists.
“Don’t ever say that,” I said fiercely. “Look at me.”
His large brown eyes, utterly heartbroken, met mine.
“None of this is your fault. None of this will ever be your fault,” I said, squeezing him tight. “It’s the Shadow Bringer’s fault. He’s the one who caused Corruption in the first place.”
Elliot buried his face in his hands again. “I know it’s not my fault. I know. But we’ve been giving them bad elixir. I thought we were doing good things. Instead, we’ve been killing our neighbors. And now Mother and Father are going to die, too.”
“They may look like Mother and Father, but it isn’t truly them,” I whispered. “Our real mother and father will be dancing with the Maker soon. Their souls will finally be set free.”
The woman and man who thrashed under the water, gasping for air as they nearly drowned, were puppets filled by their respective demons.
But in the presence of the Light Bringer, their souls would travel somewhere else; the Light Bringer would walk into their dreams and free their souls so that they could bask in the Maker’s light.
That’s what we’d been taught, at least.
But then there was me.
Were demons not roiling under my skin, waiting to take over my soul? They’d found me last night; perhaps they’d find me again. I held Elliot tighter. This time he didn’t resist, and he sank against me, sobbing into his elbow.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too, Elliot,” I whispered back.
I’ll keep him safe for you, Eden.
A desperate plea to a sister who couldn’t hear me, but I made the vow regardless.
I couldn’t keep Mother and Father safe, but I’ll protect Elliot with all I have left.
Elliot found Chester, placing him between us on the pillow. And that’s how we fell asleep—tired, scared, and more alone than ever before.