Chapter OneGrace #2
“We’ll try again later. A grid is down, so that’s probably it.” The officer waved him off, and we went back to the questions.
A little later, a woman in a lab coat strode in.
“I’m going to take a couple of blood tests. Quick and easy,” she told me. Something about her was commanding. Like if she wasn’t in charge, she was still someone.
“Um, okay.” Blood tests? At a police station? But again, I didn’t see any reason not to cooperate. If anything, I was glad everyone was going to so much trouble to help me, and I felt safe here.
She had two tiny pin prick things and stuck my finger with them. It didn’t hurt, it wasn’t even like being pricked on a thorn. I wasn’t sure what she was doing, but it was simple, easy, and painless. My kind of medicine.
“You did such a great job.” One, she put back into a vial, and the other one turned black. Her brow furrowed at the color. “Huh. It must be a bad test.” She put it in a tiny medical waste bag and left.
“You’re doing great. Let’s talk about you a little. You don’t remember your name, right, what about your birth date?” the officer asked, returning his attention to me after she left.
“Oh, I remember that.” There it was. I gave it to him. Why I remembered that and not my name, I didn’t know. The human mind was weird.
“You’re sure?” His eyebrows rose.
“Of course. I’m twenty-seven.” Ooh, I remembered something. “It seems like I haven’t forgotten everything. Though what I can and can’t remember is strange.”
“The brain is funny like that.” He asked me a bunch of other questions. My address, which I couldn’t remember. Names of friends, some of which I could recall, employer, which I couldn’t, occupation…
“I’m a…” I closed my eyes again. Think, brain, think. “I think I’m a mathematician.” That sounded mostly right.
He asked me more questions. But it seemed like even when I could remember my answers weren’t the ones he was looking for, which made my belly churn. Wrong answers led to bad places.
“What’s your designation?” the officer asked. “Can you remember? That’s going to help determine what resources we can use to help you.”
Designation? “Um, I’m a heterosexual cisgender female.”
He blinked. My belly sank. That wasn’t the answer he wanted. My belly clenched in fear. What was he asking? Whatever it was, I didn't think I had one.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed. “Can you remember anyone else we could call to get you? A roommate? Sibling? Friend? Significant other? Alpha?” He stared at my neck, then his gaze flickered to my hands.
I frowned. “Alpha?”
“Yes, or your pack? Your family?” he suggested. “Anyone?”
Pack? Pack of what?
He leaned forward. “If they’re the ones that hurt you, you don’t have to go back to them. I promise. We’re just trying to figure out who you are so we can get you somewhere safe.”
“I don’t think I talk to my family. I…” I chewed on my lower lip. “Yeah. I think that my mother’s gone.” I could remember that much, but not specifics like her name or what she looked like. Or how she died. But I knew our relationship wasn’t good.
“I’m sorry to hear that, but think–anything could be helpful,” he prodded.
“I… I knew an alpha once. But he didn’t hurt me. He’d never hurt me,” I blurted as little bubbles in my brain burst with fleeting memories. A face. A laugh. Us sitting on the swings. Him holding me.
He’d been my best friend… and so much more.
“Do you remember his name?”
Another bubble popped, revealing a hint of memory. “His name’s Fade. But…”
The next memory was like a punch in the stomach, and I flinched.
“He’s not real.” My chest shuddered at the memories of that painful lesson. “Alphas aren’t real. He was just a dream.” Tears pricked my eyes.
I wished he’d been real. Once I even thought he was.
But that was a very long time ago.
The look on the officer’s face told me that wasn’t what he wanted to hear, and my hands shook. This didn’t make sense. It didn’t help that it hurt to think.
But I also didn’t want to end up in a psych ward. Keep it together. I took a deep breath. 3.1415926535, I recited in my head to calm myself down . I exhaled and smiled.
“Sorry, sorry. I don’t know what I’m saying, officer,” I deflected, trying to smooth things over, wiping the tears from my eyes. “I’m pretty disoriented. Um, I know it’s early, but did you get a hold of anyone? I know the ambulance checked me out, but I should probably go to the doctor.”
“Let me check on that.” With a nod, the officer stood and left the room, leaving the door a little open like before.
Hopefully, one of my friends would come and get me.
There was a knock on the open door, and a large officer walked in. He was older than the others and had a little gray in his beard, and dark skin, reminding me of the sergeant on a TV show I liked.
Wow, I could remember that but not my name. Good job, brain. Not.
“Hi, I’m Sergeant Hawthorne.” He came over to the armchair where I was sitting. “Are you doing okay?”
“I…” Time to smooth everything over. Taking a deep breath, I blurted, “I’m so sorry for sleeping on the bench. Hopefully, I didn’t break any laws. I’m so sorry that I don’t remember much that’s useful.”
“It’s okay. Please, may I sit?” He gestured to the other chair where the officer had been sitting.
“Sure. Am I almost done here?” Of course, I had no money, no ID, no phone, no insurance card. All that made me anxious since I still didn’t understand what had happened. If they couldn’t help me, maybe the hospital could?
“We can’t find any of your friends. You probably have a concussion, and it’s making it hard for you to remember, and you’re scrambling their names,” he explained, expression sympathetic.
There was something very relaxing about the way he smelled. I needed to get some of that to spray at work on stressful days.
Sergeant Hawthorne continued, “Did you want to press charges against those betas in the park?”
“No, sir.” I shook my head. While it had been scary, I was pretty sure they weren’t the ones I was running from.
What was going on? What I could and couldn’t remember made no sense. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to take another breath, but it came out like a shudder instead.
“Are you all right?” His voice was soft.
“I’m so confused. Why can’t I remember anything useful?” I gasped.
“This must be scary. Can we talk about Fade?”
“He didn’t hurt me.” I shook my head, as more memory-bubbles popped, but they were older memories. No, often I’d felt like Fade was the only one who consistently showed me any genuine kindness. Which was why he was imaginary.
“He’s your alpha?” the sergeant prodded.
I frowned, trying to remember more, then shook my head. “It was a long time ago, and I imagined him. He’s not real–and neither are alphas.”
“I’m an alpha, and I’m pretty sure I’m real. Who told you that?” He gave me a puzzled look.
“My mom, the doctors, the people at…” I took another deep breath at the onslaught of images and partial memories. Painful ones. “It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago.”
No, I could do without remembering all of that. A name would be nice, though.
“I see.” His look turned sympathetic. “Can you tell me again, what you remember about your injuries? Was there an argument? Did someone hit you? Were you in a car accident?”
For a moment I tried to remember what I needed. Useful things. Not fantasies or bad things.
Think, think, think.
“All I remember is running in the dark and being afraid. I can’t even remember where I was running to and who from and why.” My shoulders slumped as defeat coated me.
“Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.” He stood and left.
The woman in the lab coat came back in. She, too, was wearing some scent that smelled nice, spicy.
“Sorry, this morning has been busy. Let’s try this again.
” She had two more pricky things with her.
Again, one went into the vial, the other turned black.
“What’s your designation, Hun? Am I giving you the wrong test? ”
“I… I don’t have one.” My nose scrunched in confusion.
Her expression softened. “Hun, if they told you that because you haven’t awakened, they’re full of bullshit.
It should show up on the test. Do you remember whether someone gave you any drugs?
Maybe a guy handed you a drink that you didn’t see being made?
Are you taking any medication? Trevadol maybe? ”
“I don’t remember.” I frowned as a few memories bubbled to the surface. Once I might have taken medicine. Yes, my mother made me and I didn’t like them. While I could be taking things now, I had no idea what.
It seemed the further back the memories, the easier they came.
But there were things I didn’t want to remember.
“That’s okay, you sit tight now.” She left, the door still open.
“What do you think, Doctor?” Sergeant Hawthorne’s voice drifted through the open door, though I couldn’t see anyone.
“I think you’re right. My guess would be an omega in hiding, using heavy-duty blockers and suppressants.
Or she hasn’t fully awakened. At her age she’d get some bullshit about being a late-bloomer.
She could also be a petite beta on Trevadol or one of the other medications that can make the prick-test glitch.
She should get a scan. And those bruises, I want to hurt whoever did that to her,” the lab coat lady said.
“What do you think, Detective Lawson?” the sergeant added. “Thanks again for making the trek from Mid. No one handles these cases like you.”
“Thanks, Sarge. I miss this place,” a new female voice said.
“She mentioned alphas not existing. Maybe we’re dealing with someone escaping from an extreme equalist cult?” he said.
“That’s frightening. I’d like to talk to her, but first I want to make a call,” the unfamiliar voice said. That must be Detective Lawson. Their voices faded as they walked away.
Was this a dream? This didn’t feel like a dream. It was almost…
Another memory-bubble popped, and I squashed it down as fast as I could.
No. I didn’t even dare to think such a dangerous thing.
I wasn’t in another world any more than the guy from my dreams was real.
This was all just some weird, concussion-induced dream. I curled up in the chair and covered myself with the blanket. Maybe when I woke up everything would make sense.