Chapter Thirty-FiveEvan #2
It hit me. It was him. Fuck. On some primal level, she didn’t feel safe in the house, even with Wes and me present, because of him .
He resented her. Brennan rejected her presence.
He complained she didn’t do things right–which must have triggered a childhood response to her mom berating her for not being tidy.
Which probably led to her midnight cleaning campaign.
“Bren, go look in her room and tell me what the fuck is wrong. ” My voice shook as anger bubbled inside me. Little Grace probably slept under her bed with no blankets so she wouldn’t mess things up and make her mom angry. I’d seen this before in my work.
“You know I hate guessing games. Tell me,” he huffed.
“I’m not asking you to guess, you knothead. I’m asking you to look. ” My tone became harsh.
This was what the integration team was supposed to prevent. While she’d met with them several times, they should have met with the entire pack by now.
“Fine.” He got up and stalked off.
I rearranged us, getting comfortable.
“That’s it, Peaches, you’re warm, loved, and safe,” I told her. “We’re so glad you’re here. We love you so much. It’s going to be okay.”
Oh, that could also be a factor. Culture shock. She wasn’t from here, but no one knew that but Wes, Spencer, and me. So many little things must be different for her, and all that could become overwhelming.
While Brennan was a huge part of it, we all fucked up big time, not realizing how many changes she was getting hit with all at once.
We didn’t notice how fragile she was inside. How strange it all must be for her.
“I’m sorry, Grace, I’m so sorry, we fucked up. We’ll do better,” I whispered, guilt filling me. We’d done this. This was our fault. We were given this beautiful soul to care for, and we’d failed her.
“She disassembled her nest and sanitized it. You… you did that once. Right before you ended up in the hospital.” Brennan’s voice wavered as he stood in the doorway.
“Yep. Because I didn’t feel welcome or safe. I didn’t feel like there was a space for me in the pack, so I removed my presence,” I said softly.
“Oh. What happens when she tells Mrs. Beekman this?”
“This is a major red flag. Mrs. Beekman could remove her.” My voice shook, because that would break my heart. “More likely, the integration team will need to do more. I’m pretty disappointed that they haven’t done much.”
“Remove her? My mother will be livid. We’ll just fix it. Put things back up. Maybe she won’t notice?”
The callousness of his words made me curl Grace into me tighter, protecting her.
“Do you hear yourself? This isn’t about you or your mom or the investigation.
This is about Grace . About her feeling like she doesn’t belong to the point she’s made herself sick.
There’s so much going on with her that you don’t know, Bren.
” I begged him to understand. Being pulled between them hurt me on a fundamental level.
“This is my fault?” he grumbled.
“It’s all our fault. But a lot of this is on you. You don’t have to mate with her, just don’t be a dick. Look, she’s not after your money. If she and Spencer pull off this simulator, they’re going to make a shit-ton,” I told him. Well, I was guessing.
“Does Wes actually love her?” Brennan was inside now, and there was no remorse coming through the bond, just annoyance and a little worry.
“He does. But I’m not kidding when I say that she and Wes need some major couples therapy,” I replied.
“Do you love her?” Brennan sat on the platform, peering at me, curiosity in his eyes.
“I’m falling for her, hard. So hard.” I kissed her forehead again.
“You know what, I’ll wake up Wes. Or better yet, just dump her in Wes’ bed and come with me.” He squeezed my hand. “I’ll give you what you need.”
Oh, did I need him. I was feeling so unsettled and shaky inside. This had been me once.
But I wasn’t going to let Grace endure this alone, like I’d let myself suffer because I felt like I didn’t deserve an alpha or pack to make things better.
I let go of his hand and shook my head. “What I need is for you to stop being a dick to her.” I gathered her up. “Since you can’t do that, we’ll leave.”
Grace in my arms, I marched right past my alpha toward Wes’ room. I needed an alpha right now . I think she was feeling safe and warm enough that maybe she did, too.
“Evan, wait,” he called.
I turned around. “Don’t you see, we’re literally doing to her what Caroline did to me. She can’t go home, Brennan. Wes and I aren’t going to give her up, so we’re going to have to figure this out. Quick.”
“So she says. We don’t even know who she actually is.” He made a face.
“Stop being a knothead. I’m done with this. She’s getting cold.” I started walking again.
She snuggled into me. “Mmmm.”
Relief flooded my chest. I’d done something right. I could be enough for her.
“We’re going to Wes, okay?” I whispered to her.
“You’re going to choose her over me?” Brennan’s voice flickered between anger and heartbreak.
“I shouldn’t have to choose,” I snapped. Tears pricked my eyes, and I went into Wes’ suite, closing the door.
Wes met me in the doorway to his room, worry on his face and pouring through the bond. “Just saw your texts.”
“We need you.” I crushed myself into his arms, Grace between us. Desperation flooded me. I needed to feel complete and loved.
“I’m right here. Spiral, like what you did?” His voice went gravely as he held us to him.
“Yeah, I got her temperature up, but we need you.” I trembled a little, with need, longing, and desperation. I needed him to soothe my nerves, to reassure me.
“You’ve got me. Always.” He began to purr, filling the room with calming pheromones as the scent of fresh laundry overpowered me, turning every inch of me into jelly, as I melted into him.
“Umpf,” Grace muttered. “Mmmm.”
Those were good noises.
“Bed, both of you.” Wes pushed us into his room and onto the bed, smothering us with his body as he threw lots of blankets over us.
Death by alpha smooshes? Yes please.
His chest was up against me, rumbling with his purr, the anxiety and panic I’d felt before floating away until I was content.
Safe. Warm. Loved.
“What happened?” he whispered, his hands running up and down my back, him still practically on top of Grace and me, shielding us with his body, protecting us, loving us.
“I woke up and Grace wasn’t here. I found her asleep under her bed, with only Mr. Hippo. She’d had a seizure, a little one–and was showing all the signs of a spiral. I… I took her with me into my nest and got her warm, and kept her safe, until…” My chest shook.
Fucking Brennan. He could have fixed everything so easily. He was right there, holding my hand. All he had to do was snuggle us, purr for us, maybe tell her he was sorry. It would have fixed so much.
Instead, he made it worse.
“I’m sorry I didn’t wake up or hear my phone,” Wes apologized. “Why did you go to your room? Curious.”
“It’s an omega issue, and I figured that’s what she needed. Me and a nice safe space,” I confessed. It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
“Then it was the right move. I can’t think of anyone who’d know better than you what to do in a situation like this.” He kissed me. “Thank you. Thank you for taking such good care of her, for loving her. You give her things I can’t, and I’m so grateful for that. I… I wonder why she left the bed?”
“I don’t know. But she didn’t just fall asleep under her bed.
First, she disassembled her nest and sanitized everything in her room.
We fucked up, Wes. We fucked up so badly.
You alphas don’t even understand what we’ve done to her,” I sobbed.
We were the worst. This was the worst. She’d erased herself because of us.
“None of this is your fault,” he soothed, stroking my back as he purred.
“It’s Bren’s–and yours for not shutting his bullshit down before we ever brought her home.” Angry tears streamed down my face. I felt awful that she’d had to go through this for us to notice what she truly needed.
“Don’t cry, Evs, we’ll get ice cream in the morning,” Grace mumbled, her face buried in my side. “Promise.”
“Mmmm, that sounds great, Peaches.” I breathed in lungfuls of her peachiness, which was smelling right again.
“Her mom used to take all her blankets, stuffies, and pillows from her as a punishment for being messy, among other things. When she’d come to me, I’d pile all my blankets on her and let her hold my hippo as I snuggled her.
I’ll fix this. I’ll fix this.” He nuzzled the bite mark on my neck with his nose, making me shiver.
“You better. I’m feeling pretty triggered. This is reminding me too much of what I went through with Caroline.” I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Especially Grace.
“I didn’t even consider that parallel. You know, I didn’t realize the full extent of Bren's problem until the thing with the piano. Fuck. I’m such a bad mate to the both of you.” He nipped my neck.
My cock bucked. Now that I was feeling warm and safe and loved, my body wanted reassurance besides snuggles, purrs, and praise.
“I forgive you, but you have to handle this. I can only do so much.” As soon as the words left my lips, I felt a million times lighter. “Also, call the integration team and set up the therapy.”
“I did, well, for me and Grace. That’s what you mean, right? We start this week. The therapist said that she might want you to come in sometimes too–if you’re willing. Sorry, I forgot to tell you.” He ran little kisses down the length of my jaw.
“No, that’s great. You know I’ll participate in anything to make this easier for Grace.” I stroked her hair. “I was so scared when I found her, and while I should have brought her to you, all I could think of was me keeping her safe.”
“You were perfect.” His hand ran up and down my back, but this was sexy, not soothing. “She’s doing better?”
I closed my eyes for a moment to listen for her breathing, then pressed my lips to her no-longer-clammy forehead. “She seems to be sleeping normally now.”
“How can I take care of you? My perfect, amazing, omega, what do you need from your alpha?” he murmured, hand resting on my ass.
“I need your cock,” I begged. I needed him to rail me hard, fast, and frequently. Good thing I didn’t need to be at work until after lunch.
“Done.” Grabbing me, he rolled us over and over until we were on the other side of the bed, and he was on top of me, face inches from mine as he pumped the room full of pheromones, making me pant with desire, body on fire.
“What about Grace?” I realized I was naked. I’d only been wearing a shirt before, which I gave to Grace. That meant that I’d carried Grace here stark naked. Oh well.
He climbed off me and tucked the blankets around her, positioning her in the bed's corner. “There. If she wakes, it’s not like she’s never seen us fucking.”
“Good. I need you now.” Grabbing my alpha, I tugged on his shirt. “But first, I’m going to need you to take this off.”