Movement 25
Tempest
As Yasmeena crosses the bar floor, her scent is somber, and I instantly want to follow.
“Should I go after her?” I ask, but Zuri shakes her head.
“Give her a minute, she might need some space,” she says, and squeezes my hand.
Clio’s mouth curls up in contemplation. “Maybe this is hard for her? I mean, isn’t it hard for you every day, being in a carnival full of people that aren’t your pack, where you feel othered?”
I shake my head. “Not really. I mean, at first, yeah. But there are no others at Hel’s Carnival. There are hybrids and half-demons, felion and lupion, demons and mermaids. Some of them are dancers, others play instruments. Everyone is unique and welcomed for being exactly who they are.”
It’s mostly true. I do feel a bit like an other, but not because any of the carnies made me feel this way. It’s an othering of my own design. I’ve purposefully pushed most of them away, determined to complete my father’s mission.
“I’m just saying, our species are at war. It might be a little intense for her here,” Clio says, trying to explain Yasmeena’s point of view.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I reply, but the second I say the words out loud, I know they’re wrong. The hairs on the back of my neck stand, every one of my instincts pushing me to go find Yasmeena. “I have to go.”
Chugging the rest of my drink, I try to use my sense of smell to find her. I wanted to spend more time with Zuri and Clio, I desperately miss them, but Yasmeena is mine to protect.
Following Yasmeena’s perfume and fear, I spot her in a dark corner, Alpha Ferdinand hovering above her, his hand around her throat.
Without questioning, without so much as thinking, I claw his arm and blood splatters across the hard gray stone beside Yasmeena.
Ferdinand turns, towering over me, but I refuse to balk. She looks disoriented, and worry twists my features, my heartbeat rising like the ocean tides, threatening to drown everything in sight.
“Do you have a fucking problem with my fiancé?” I ask, cracking my knuckles.
“And what if I do?”
I may have agreed to this mission my father assigned me, but not once since meeting Yasmeena did I ever think I’d let anyone hurt her. Not even a member of my own pack—not even my Alpha, so I’m sure as fuck not going to let this pathetic piece of shit lay another claw on her.
I want to show him exactly how serious I am, but something holds me back. There’s a heavy presence behind me—Alonso, Ferdinand’s second grabs hold of my arms, preventing me from lunging forward.
“I’d let go if I were you,” I say, but Alonso doesn’t budge.
My mind flings me back into flashes of the past, things I thought I’d long since forgotten. My Alpha, punching me over and over again, forcing me to stand after every blow.
“Get up,” he’d scream.
I could hardly move, hardly focus. I’d gone down nearly a dozen times, but eventually I’d had enough. I spit the blood that was pooling inside my mouth, got up, and fought back. Hard. Landed a brutal scratch across my Alpha’s cheek. There’s a faint scar there to this day.
My father may have been an asshole, but he made me a fighter. Except up until now, I’d had no real opponents.
Using just my strength, I pick Alonso up, his arms still hooked around mine, and slam his ankles into the ground.
Snap.
Alonso falls to the floor, his arms finally letting go of me as they both realize the level of rage they’re up against.
“And to think, I was going to make you my bride,” Alpha Ferdinand says. “It’s a pity the next Alpha of Pack Escalus is such a weakling.”
“Did you pre-plan that insult? Seeing as how I just incapacitated your second in command, I don’t feel like I appear very weak,” I say, my voice flat.
“If you’re so strong, let’s go head-to-head. No magic, no funny tricks, no seconds. Just you and me.”
As tempting as that offer might be, Yasmeena looks like she’s three seconds away from collapsing. “Nah, I’m good.”
The only person I want to prove myself to, other than myself, is my Alpha. Ferdinand’s opinion of me means nothing. I’m not here to fight him or prove my strength, I’m here to protect Yasmeena. That’s my top priority.
Using the magic waiting at my fingertips, I pin him to the wall with shards of ice. Ferdinand’s entire face turns red with rage and embarrassment, but he doesn’t break free.
“Security!” I yell, and Bobby, a younger member of Pack Escalus rushes over. “Alpha Ferdinand is no longer welcome here.”
“Very well then,” Bobby says, and hails some more employees to join him. He squeezes my shoulder. “We’ve missed you.”
That makes me feel warm and gooey inside, a feeling I don’t often get, and I’m not sure what to do with it.
I rush towards Yasmeena, who looks pale, still leaning against the cold stone wall.
“I don’t feel good,” she manages to croak while coughing.
“I know, beautiful, come on.” Taking Yasmeena by the hand, I escort her to the bathroom. Turning on the water, I splash her face, hoping the cold will help.
She dips her head into the sink and takes a drink, and I laugh.
“You know the bartender would’ve given you a bottle of water, right?”
Yasmeena laughs too, and relief floods my chest. “I know, but this is right here.”
Mascara and lipstick run down her face, reminding me a lot of the makeup Baelor and Absinthe wear during their performances. I take my fingers and wipe away the dark rings from around her eyes before taking a thumb to her lips. Gently, I clean the smudged lipstick stains.
“Thank you, princess,” she whispers, and it ends me.
Fuck duty and fuck the rules.
Cupping her jaw in my hands, I bring her lips towards mine and kiss her. I kiss Yasmeena like I’m suffocating and she’s the last tank of oxygen. She leans into me, deepening the kiss, before pulling her lips from mine and quickly shifting backwards, her golden eyes wide with surprise.
Unbelievably sexy. Her deep, tan skin looks warm brown under the dim lights of the bathroom. The details of her dress are lost, but I can see every curve of her chest, hips, and thighs. I want to trace her body with my fingertips and tell her just how perfect she is.
But right now, she looks almost frightened.
“You shouldn’t kiss me,” she says.
I shrug, looking at her lips. “Why not?”
“You can’t—I thought the rule was we wouldn’t kiss?”
“I made the rule, I decide when it changes,” I say, pulling her back into me as she smiles. This time, she doesn’t protest.
Her lips part, and our tongues collide, moving with acrobatic precision, just like we do on the trapeze. I love the feeling of her waist beneath my touch, her mouth pressed against mine, the warm caress of her tongue.
The drenched heat between her legs.
Yasmeena is truly exquisite. I want to worship at an altar like she’s a goddess most divine. If it weren’t for her dress, I’d have her wrapped around me, but instead, I push her up onto the bathroom counter, kissing and licking down the length of her neck.
The door swings open, and Zuri and Clio walk in.
Fuck my life.
“Hello,” Zuri says.
Clio lets out a laugh. “I’d say get a room, but I think they already did.”
Yasmeena’s cheeks appear rosy, but I don’t feel a drop of shame or embarrassment. I’m making out with my fiancé—political arrangement or not—in the bathroom of a bar my father owns. Why should I feel bad?
“We were just leaving,” I say, taking Yasmeena by the hand. “I’ll catch you two later though.”
“Send the Alpha our love,” Yasmeena giggles, clearly drunk on lust.
I turn back to look at them. “Do not do that.”
Exiting The Cathedral hand-in-hand with Yasmeena, I feel torn up inside. It’s like there are two halves of my soul that will never be one.
The first half is my pack. It’s my duty to my Alpha, and to my people. Friendship with lupion like Zuri and Clio. It’s Bobby and the other employees at The Cathedral. Pack Escalus is where I belong, I can feel it in every fibre of my being.
But there’s another, newer half of me, one that I never thought would escape where I locked her away, deep in the crevices of my mind.
It’s my dreams, the ones that transcend my pack.
It’s not about being an heir to a legacy, it’s not even about being a lupion, it’s just me.
Tempest. I want to perform and travel the world.
Maybe I want to be a real member of Hel’s Carnival, and get to watch Nico grow up.
Maybe I want the chance to transform this fraud of an engagement into something real.
The streets are dark, dimly lit up by the green glow of the tram and the twinkling night sky. The air is cool, and I let everything that’s just happened finally settle in my chest. We’re okay, we’re safe.
Silence covers us like a blanket in the cold as we walk, comforted only by the sound of our footsteps.
“Tempest,” Yasmeena says shyly, breaking the silence as we continue our walk back to Hel’s Carnival.
“Yes, my beautiful nuisance?” I take her hand in mine and bring it up to my lips, planting a gentle kiss on her knuckles.
“How much do you know about Pack Escalus?”
It’s an odd question, given how much I’ve already shared with her. “A lot, why?”
She goes even quieter. “Do you know how your father acquires the atra?”
I shake my head as I try to gather where she’s heading with this. “No, he’s never told me.”
“Have you ever thought to ask?”
Looking up at the night sky, I silently count the stars. “I’m ashamed to say no, I honestly haven’t.”
“So what do you learn, when training to be Alpha?” She pulls her hand away, and it’s the perfect metaphor for how I feel right now. Like she’s slipping away from me, just out of reach.
“I don’t know. I was never supposed to be heir. I was raised to be second in command. I learned the history of our pack and people, and how to best support the Alpha,” I admit.
Hel’s Carnival is now in sight. The Ferris wheel and tall red and white tents loom above the fence line, illuminated by golden lanterns.
“I was trained to fight and defend, but they never intended to have me learn the logistics behind everything.”
She shoots me a look. “Don’t you think that’s dangerous? Blindly following an Alpha without ensuring they’re doing what’s right?”
I shrug as the guilt of her words hit me like a brick. “Yeah, I guess. I don’t know. In theory, the Alpha is supposed to put the pack before all else.”
“But what if they don’t?” She looks mad, disappointed even. “I follow Luc’s orders, even sometimes when I don’t agree with them, but I don’t follow them blindly.”
“Well, that’s not entirely true. You had no idea Baelor was cheating on Lilian,” I say, defensiveness dripping from the words.
“That’s entirely different. That’s personal. I’m talking about the stuff that affects the entire continent, or even all of Hel,” she bites back.
Yasmeena opens the large metal gates, letting us back onto the carnival grounds. It’s dark and quiet, with only the soft buzz of insects vibrating through the air.
“Do you think my pack isn’t personal?” I ask as we make our way past the carousel, coming toward camp.
Aida is slithering down a pathway, and Rowan leans against a metal pole, but no one says anything to us. Whether it’s the whisper-yelling or the furrowed brows, the energy of our conversation is clearly intense as we continue walking into our tent.
I take a seat on the bed, but Yasmeena remains standing, pacing the shared space.
“Where did you suddenly get the idea that my pack is evil?” I ask, knowing it’s not a fair question.
I plan to kill a member of The Devil’s Masquerade. Someone Yasmeena cares for. I know this might be what some would call evil, but she isn’t aware of those plans, so why is she reacting this way all of a sudden?
I feel like a hypocrite in my own mind. Even so, I can’t help but defend myself. They murdered my cousin. The actions I plan to take might be vicious, but I’m not hurting the defenseless. It’s an eye for an eye if you ask me.
“Alpha Ferdinand was saying—”
“And you believe him?” I cut her off.
She raises her hands. “No. I don’t know. Your cousin came to The Sinner’s Circus to deal atra and lost his life. Who's to say you don’t have your own score to settle?”
She is very close to the truth, and it pains me to have to keep up this charade with her, but even if I back down, someone is completing this mission.
“Why did you kill Tyrus?” I can tell the question threw her off balance. It’s a tough one—one I’ve been avoiding as long as I could, but I need to know the truth.
“I didn’t kill him.”
“But your organization did. And you were there, you took part in it—why did he have to die?”
She sits down on the bed beside me and sighs.
“Tyrus was working with The Legion, supplying them with atra. They were going to use it to attack Raph and the carnival, so Luc had us take them down. Just Malo’s faction.
There’s a smaller faction of Legion here that simply want to seek change within the government, and we leave them alone. ”
“So you guys killed him.”
Yasmeena nods, her mouth twisting. “Reina took him out.”
I nod in understanding. It’s honestly better than Reina did it. I think I like her the least, and it’s somehow easier mentally on me, knowing his killer wasn’t someone I’ve grown fond of. “My father had a deal with Luc. We agreed not to work with The Legion, so Tyrus was breaking orders.”
“That’s the running story.”
I cock my head. “What do you mean?”
“I investigated further, and from the contacts I spoke with, it did seem like your Alpha was aware of Tyrus’ involvement with The Legion. I believe Cain Lupine used this as a cover up, so as to not get in trouble with the king,” she explains.
“Does Luc know?”
“Nope. Draven advised me to keep this a secret. He was afraid of how Luc would respond and wanted to avoid further retaliation from your father.”
Little do they know, my Alpha has been planning his retribution for years.
She squeezes right above my knee. “I know he’s your Alpha and your father. I get it, I really do. You’re bound by duty and family, and I respect that, but please, look further into your father’s actions. Look at what your pack has done.”
“I will. I promise.”
Yasmeena stands and puts out the lantern, leaving me in the dark. “Don’t become whatever monster they want to make of you. Forge your own path.”