Chapter 27 Stevie #2
Lex unwraps his burger and takes a giant bite. “You always had that Nesquik powder in your cabinets. Strawberry flavored.”
I blink at him, shocked he’d remember such a thing. “Good memory.”
Swallowing down the bite, he inches across the curved seat to address his driver. “Griffith Park.”
“You got it,” Adrian replies, and the limo jolts into motion.
I nibble the edges of the bun like a neurotic squirrel sampling a fallen acorn. “Griffith Park?”
“Yeah.” Lex swipes his oily hands on a napkin and wipes his face. “It’s a pretty night.”
Pressing my tongue against my cheek, I glance out the window as the California sunset bathes the world in a blanket of magenta and coral. He’s not wrong. “Aren’t you worried about people recognizing us?”
A shrug. “Comes with the territory. Castle is in the SUV behind us. He’ll keep an eye on things.”
I nod and take a small bite of my burger before licking a dollop of sauce off my upper lip. Lex watches in my peripheral vision, then turns away the moment I look over at him.
When Adrian lets us out in front of the park, we snatch up our milkshakes and scooch out of the limo as I use my free hand to smooth down my pecan-brown sweater dress.
We forgo the tourist attractions for the recreational areas and nature-draped backdrops, sauntering side by side, a gap between us, as the sun dips lower in the sky.
Autumn in Los Angeles is very different from the dramatic foliage changes in Chicago. I find myself missing crunchy red and golden leaves, puffy coats, and watching my breath paint marshmallow puffs on chilled currents.
Lex slurps from his straw, his highlighted hair shielded by a navy beanie and his eyes hidden behind a pair of Tom Ford sunglasses. “You did good today,” he says, breaking the silence.
Sipping my shake, I sneak a glance at him as the sweet slush swims down my throat like a glacier breaking away from the ice. “So did you.”
“Practice.” He shrugs and peers up at the tropical-punch sky.
I think about how many supermodels and actresses he’s had photo shoots with.
A lot.
Then I wonder how many he’s looked at like that or touched like he touched me.
All of them.
My eyes latch on to a couple walking by us with a baby stroller, their arms draped around each other while the woman pushes it one-handed. The man whispers something in her ear, and she giggles, ducking her head.
“Can I ask you something?” I wonder, biting my lip.
A nod.
“You don’t have to answer.”
“Probably won’t.”
Grit scrapes the back of my throat as I twirl the plastic cup between my fingers. “Have you ever been in love?”
I watch his forehead crease against the golden streams of light splashing across his face.
His jaw tenses, gaze drifting across the walking path.
“No,” he says. “You?” Lex looks at me, a casual flick of his veiled eyes, but his knuckles whiten around his sweating cup.
“That kid from school. James or whatever.”
“Jameson,” I provide. “And no, I wasn’t in love with him. He was there for me when I needed him, but…” My eyes dip away.
I think, sometimes, love isn’t always in the ones who stick around. It’s in the missing pieces—the holes carved out, the gaps that strain and stretch. You notice when it leaves, the quiet, empty moments where absence lingers, and you feel the weight of what’s gone.
It’s in the spaces where something used to be, in the silence that follows, in the ache that reminds you it was once there.
I think about my baby brother. I didn’t recognize how much I loved him when he was here. The feeling came after he’d left—with time, with age, with missing.
“You will one day,” Lex adds, taking another sip. “Fall in love, I mean.”
My muscles lock up, face warming. He said it so loosely, with no effort. “What makes you think that?”
He stares down into the melting pink goop, his expression giving nothing away. “It’s just who you are.”
The statement thaws the igloo in my chest, but only for a moment, because it’s then I realize…he doesn’t really know who I am.
Not anymore. Not at all.
I swipe a dab of shake from the corner of my mouth. “I know you’re sort of a serial dater, but—”
“Am I,” he cuts in, more of a statement.
“Well, yeah. But have you ever had a real relationship? Something meaningful?”
One hand slips into his pocket as he strolls beside me, our shoulders brushing every now and then. “No. Too busy for that.”
“What about your costar?” My voice cracks like an eggshell, my cheeks heating. “Willa.”
“We never dated. Work is work,” he says. “I keep it separate.”
“She’s really pretty.”
Lex pauses, slowly peering over at me. “And?”
I shrug.
“We never dated,” he says again. A few minutes pass as more couples stroll by, laughing and holding dog leashes in their hands. Then he asks me, “Did it hurt?”
The question takes me off guard, and I attempt to scrounge up the underlying context. “Did what hurt?”
“The breakup.”
“Oh.” I toss the near-empty shake in a trash can, sparing a glance over my shoulder at Castle who trails behind us by a few feet.
“It did, in a way. But it wasn’t so much a broken heart.
” Not like when you left , I itch to say.
“It was more a broken reality. Everything changed. I’d become content in the routine, in always having someone there to call, to have dinner with, to hold my hand when—”
Lex snatches up my hand. “Paparazzi at ten o’clock.” He tugs me closer, then wraps an arm around my back, his palm brushing up and down my spine. “Sorry. Keep going.”
“Um…” A camera flashes in my periphery, my thoughts scattering. “Well, that’s really all it was. A shift in the routine.”
“He didn’t deserve you, Nicks.” His warm hand continues to draw gentle patterns up and down my back.
The apples of my cheeks brighten, staining red. “Oh. Thank—”
“Lex! Stevie!” A young woman bounces up and down from across the walkway, darting toward us when recognition sets in. “Oh my God. I’m fangirling so hard right now. Can I get your autograph?”
Lex plasters on a smile, dropping his hand from my back and reaching into his pocket after he discards his shake. “Sure. What’s your name?”
The flaxen-haired teenager nearly bursts into tears as she extends her arm. “Right here is fine. My name is Cami. Holy shit. I think I might faint.”
I take a step back, glancing behind me at Castle as he saunters closer, eyes trained on the woman. “That’s a pretty name,” I tell her, tucking my hair behind my ears.
“Thank you! I love your name too. So cute.”
Lex hands me the black marker.
I blink. “Me?”
“Ah, yes! Do you mind?” Cami wonders, still bouncing on the heels of her sneakers like an overcaffeinated rabbit.
“Not at all.” My fingers brush with Lex’s as I take the marker and scribble my unpracticed signature across the underside of her arm.
Lex’s name is basically a loop-the-loop, while mine accentuates every letter and takes me fifty million years to write, encompassing the entirety of her arm from her wrist to her elbow.
“Sorry.” I cringe. “I haven’t really found a way to condense it yet.”
Cami rotates her arm side to side as it catches the dying light. “Eek! I’m totally taking a picture of this and framing it above my bed. I’ve lived here for three years and have never run into a famous person before. This is the best day ever!”
Her excitement is endearing.
I quirk a smile as she fumbles for her cell phone.
“Can I get a quick selfie?”
“No problem,” Lex says, tucking me into the crevice of his arm.
Squealing with delight, Cami crouches in front of us, holds her hand out as far as it’ll go until we’re both in the frame, and snaps twenty-seven pictures. “Am I blinking? Oh God, I’m blinking.” Another twenty-seven photos go off like rapid fire. “Thank you so much!”
Lex doesn’t let go, still holding on to me as the girl scampers off with a wave. I wave back with a cheery, “Nice meeting you!”
“Ahh!” She disappears into the crowd.
A chuckle sails against the top of my head, reminding me how close he is. Lex leans in and murmurs into my ear, “Your first fan.”
My arm has a mind of its own, curling around his back as my fingertips lightly graze his belt loop. “Pretty sure I wasn’t the main attraction.”
He stiffens a little when my thumb dips underneath his polo and skims a patch of skin. Before I can move away, he pulls me closer, until we’re nearly stepping on each other’s feet as we walk.
It would be so easy, I realize. So easy for the charade to split into pieces, allowing something real to slip through the cracks.
My throat burns, and I untangle myself from his arm.
Lex frowns. “Something wrong?”
“No. The photographer got his pictures.” I fidget with the long sleeves of my sweater dress.
He doesn’t say anything for a while, both hands sinking into his pockets as we move in tandem. “Okay.”
I watch the sun plunge deeper into the horizon, like a blazing ship breaching the ocean depths.
The sky’s warmth fades to blue and silver.
For a moment, I forget where I am, who I am, and who I’m with.
A surreal feeling washes over me, tugging at the corners of my mind.
A little dog distracts me as it sniffs patches of grass and wildflowers.
A bug crawls along the toe of my knee-high boot.
Not an ant but a funny-looking thing; lime green with oversize wings. Someone bumps my shoulder on the right.
My head pops up, and I go to apologize, but—
“Dumb whore!”
Ice-cold liquid splashes across my face.
I freeze, careening to a startled stop, my breath snagging in the back of my throat. Everything’s a blur, a shell-shocked stream of motion and noise as I raise my hands in defense.
A dark-haired woman’s angry face whizzes by as she chucks an empty cup at my feet. “Go back to your barn. He’ll be done with you in a week’s time.”
Lex’s arms circle around me, drawing me back.
Castle appears, reaching for the woman as she snarls, “Get off me!”
Dragging me away, Lex calls over his shoulder at his bodyguard. “Take care of her.”
Everyone stops and stares.
Shock digs into me.
I can’t catch my breath as iced coffee and half-melted ice cubes dribble down my skin and drench my dress. Wet strands of hair whip back and forth in front of my eyes as Lex uses his whole body to shield me as we speed walk back to the limo.
“Fuck,” he murmurs against my ear, grip on me tightening. “You okay?”
“I’m…” I have no idea what I am. A stranger just threw her drink in my face and called me a whore. Tears cloud my vision as I stumble forward, trying not to trip over his Yves Saint Laurent sneakers. I grab his hand and hold it tight. “Who…who was that?”
“An unhinged person. Castle is handling it.”
“Why would she…” My voice collapses, acidic grit clogging my throat.
“Tell me you’re okay.”
Photographs snap on all sides of us. Cell phones, professional cameras with wide lenses. I keep my head low, watching as the ground streaks underneath my feet. Our pace quickens. “I’m okay,” I choke out. “I’ll be fine.”
I’m a sopping mess when we jump into the limo and Adrian hurries to close us in. I manage to sit down on my barely touched cheeseburger, only adding to my humiliation and misery.
Lex reaches for a carton of antiseptic handwipes, handing me a few as he leans over to dab the mocha latte off my cheeks. I inch off the burger, wincing as ketchup and secret sauce attach themselves to my backside.
“I’m sorry.” His voice is low, breath quivering in warm spurts across my face. With a gentle touch, he carefully swipes at my cheeks and forehead, swallowing through a tense jaw.
My hands curl around the wipes, my heartbeats pummeling my rib cage. “It’s not your fault.”
His jaw tightens even more. “Fucking assholes.”
“I’m fine, Lex.” My tears are tiny daggers poking at the backs of my eyes.
I pin my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to center myself, focusing on the soft strokes of the wipes as they graze my skin.
His hand lifts, cupping my cheek and angling my jaw to the side.
My lungs tighten at the contact, my thighs squeezing together.
“I’m okay,” I whisper, our faces an inch apart.
He’s all hard lines and barely suppressed rage.
The limo hits a pothole, and his balance teeters, yanking him closer as he catches himself on the back of the seat. Our lips almost touch, and my eyes slam shut.
Lex resituates beside me, the wipe sliding down the length of my arm. “That’ll never happen again,” he grits out, discarding the used wipe and reaching for another. “Promise you.”
I’m still a shivering, soaked mess as we roll up to his condominium minutes later. Lex helps me from the limo, draping himself over me again as we move toward the main doors. Blocking me from prying eyes and curious fans. Half carrying me through the entrance.
He doesn’t let me go until we’re safely inside his condo.