Chapter 34 Stevie
Stevie
There’s a knot in my throat when Lex and I stroll up to Nobu Malibu hand in hand. He flicks his cigarette ash to the wood planks and glances around at the expansive property. Sunglasses shield his eyes, reflecting the setting sun as it dives into the ocean water.
His fingers tremble around the rolled paper when he brings it to his lips. “Pretty sunset tonight,” he murmurs, facing the dancing ripples.
A few guests linger outside the restaurant in cocktail dresses and ironed suits. Everyone looks important. I peer up at Lex, squinting as I watch the sun splash saturated colors across his face.
I don’t think he slept last night. After he returned to the condo, having been gone for most of the day, he slipped quietly into his room around eight p.m. and stayed there.
When I woke up sometime after midnight—as I often do—his light was still on, and alternative rock music was vibrating on the other side of his door.
I considered knocking. Checking on him. Asking him if he wanted to discuss what happened at the club. But my cowardice got the better of me, and I sat alone on the terrace, spilling my heart out to the stars instead.
When I shuffled back to my bedroom two hours later, he was still awake.
Lex’s hand skims my lower back as newcomers arrive in their eveningwear and diamond jewelry.
I inch closer to him, allowing the breeze to soothe my muddled mind and his breath to warm the top of my head.
He leans down for a light kiss, dusting his lips over my temple and lingering for a beat.
I shiver. Memories from the other night filter through me as I recall his mouth undoing me, every thread raveling out and leaving me helplessly bare.
Lex tosses his half-smoked cigarette to the ground and stomps it out. “Ready?” he asks, his fingers curling around my hip and guiding me forward.
No. Not at all.
But I have a role to play tonight for Lex’s mother, so I drink in a calming breath and nod.
We slip inside the main doors. It’s an upscale oasis where seaside views meet fine dining, and the Pacific Ocean stretches out beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows. I squeeze Lex’s hand, leaning into him, while we’re brought over to a window-side table adorned with white napkins and plateware.
Lex’s mother smiles thinly as she sips a glass of red wine, wearing a pink cocktail dress the color of vibrant azaleas in springtime. It’s a flashy counter pop to my black lace and tulle. “Well, hello there,” she says when we approach. “Thanks for joining me tonight.”
I force my own tight smile, trying not to internalize all the horrible, passive-aggressive comments she threw at me during the gala that first night. “We appreciate the invitation.”
“My pleasure. Have a seat.”
I share a look with Lex as he pulls out a chair for me.
Whether he catches my plea for support tonight, I’m not sure, but he sends me a melt-worthy smile before taking his place beside me.
A waiter stops by to fill our water glasses as Veronica Hall assesses me with squinty eyes and a drawn-on smirk that refuses to slip.
“So I see you two have reconnected,” she starts, placing the napkin on her lap. “And what a way to find out. That interview with Starline caught me off guard, to put it lightly.”
She certainly doesn’t waste any time.
Lex reads over the menu, ignoring the comment. He nudges me with his shoulder. “They have more than sushi. Maybe a steak?”
“Sure.” I clear my throat and return my attention to Veronica. “Sorry you had to find out that way. We wanted to make a splash.”
“And what a splash it was. Nearly drowned me.” She chuckles, tapping an index finger to her wineglass. “Tell me, Stevie, what enticed you to announce it there at the gala? Was that always the plan?” Her gaze slides lazily over to Lex. “My son looked a bit…thrown.”
“It was the plan, yes. We were going to announce it at the end of the night, but I thought it would be fun to get the ball rolling early. It wasn’t easy holding back…our feelings.” My neck burns. “We didn’t want to hide it any longer.”
“Fun,” she parrots. “Indeed.”
Lex adds his commentary, eyes aimed at the menu. “Stevie’s been handling the spotlight well.”
“Oh really?” His mother nods slowly, taking another sip of wine. “I’m sure it hasn’t been easy. Did you see those comments on that Instagram post yesterday?”
“Yes,” I croak, feigning a laugh. “Pretty brutal.”
“It takes a strong individual to make it out here. I know how much Lex appreciates the tools I’ve given him along the way. Not everyone is blessed with that kind of upbringing.”
I fiddle with the diamond-studded bracelet around my wrist, so different from the yarn and beads Joplin and I used to weave into handmade wristlets when we were teenagers.
The waiter stops by again to collect our orders. I go to order a filet, but Veronica cuts in and orders nothing but sushi for all three of us.
Lex sighs. “I told you Stevie doesn’t like sushi.”
She waves a dismissive hand. “She’ll like this sushi. It’s the best.”
With a conflicted smile, the water nods and saunters away.
“Tell me more about the last few weeks, Stevie,” Veronica continues, smoothing out the tablecloth in front of her. “I’d love to get to know you better.”
Chewing the inner lining of my lip, I push away my anxiety and try to make the best of it. Maybe Lex’s mother is softening toward me, accepting the situation for what it is. “Well, I—”
“That postpremiere party must have been hard for you—seeing Lex and Willa shine together, right before your eyes. I’m sure it was difficult recalling their intimate scenes in the show.”
My chest struggles to remain whole, my ribs wanting to disintegrate, my heart wilting. Lex’s hand falls to my lap, hidden underneath the table. He palms my thigh as he sips his water.
“It wasn’t difficult,” I reply, glancing at him. There’s a distance in his eyes as he stares out the window at the slow-churning sea waves. “I understand how acting works, and I know this isn’t the last time he’ll be cast in romantic roles with other women. And Willa was very sweet.”
“On that we agree. She is a gem.” She smiles, almost pleasantly, then flicks her gaze to Lex. “Lexington, that reminds me… Willa’s mother reached out and would love to set up a dinner with just the four of us. I think it’s a great idea. When are you free?”
I sit there, feeling invisible, painfully unseen.
Surely, Lex would never agree to an intimate dinner with another woman, especially without me.
But his hand leaves my thigh as he says, “Whenever.”
My heart buckles. I reach for a fork to distract my jittery hands, but there’s no food in front of me, so I just play with it.
“Wonderful,” Veronica quips. “I’ll set it up.”
She hums under her breath as she picks up her phone and swipes her thumbs across the keypad. A trio of women waltz by the table, their eyes wide and starstruck as they gawk at us—at the iconic Lexington Hall, sitting beside me, in the flesh.
Lex’s arm drapes around my shoulders, and he nuzzles my neck, peppering a few kisses to the side of my throat, harnessing the PDA for the oglers.
I tense up, becoming a stone slab.
When I try to shimmy free of his arm, he frowns, whispering in my ear, “What?”
“All set,” Veronica says. She returns her phone to the table just as Lex pulls away. “I’m looking forward to catching up with Isla. And I’m sure you and Willa have plenty to talk about.”
“Mm” is all he says, slouching back in the chair.
“Posture, Lexington.” She glances at me, the beam to her smile returning tenfold. “Stevie, I’m sure you’re feeling pretty homesick lately. How are you coping?”
She doesn’t care.
She doesn’t care about me at all, and it’s becoming crystal clear that I am nothing more than a stain on her son’s glittering reputation.
“I’m coping fine, thank you.”
“Mm-hmm. Well, I’m sure this little performance will be over soon, and you can go back to waiting tables—or, what was it? Exotic dancing?” She pretends to think about it, then pops a finger in the air. “Belly dancing.”
I clench the napkin in my lap. “I’m a pianist,” I mutter, my tone devoid of life. “The belly dancing was made up.”
“My apologies. Lexington does enjoy the occasional dramatization,” she says. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
I watch Lex in my periphery, waiting for something. Anything. But he’s shut down, staring blankly across the room, his expression an empty mask.
Emotion bubbles inside me.
Anger, disappointment, insecurity, bitterness.
I flip my hair over my shoulder, straightening my stance. “Actually, I’d love to stick around for as long as possible. Lex and I are happy. This city is full of opportunity.”
“Right.” She says it softly, like she’s considering it. “Lexington has mentioned your talent. Back in high school. In your little stage play.”
“It was more—”
“That doesn’t make you a real actress, Stevie.
I apologize for my frankness, but that’s the truth.
High school musicals don’t compare to this life…
to this stage.” She lifts a hand, gesturing at the high-end restaurant, the people in suits and glamorous dresses, the ocean shimmering blue and green just beyond the glass.
“The roles we’re born into are the ones meant for us.
Some people are destined for the spotlight, and others…
well, they just stumble into an audition and hope no one notices they don’t belong. ”
She sees me cracking.
Crumbling under the pressure, beneath the weight of her words.
Veronica reaches across the table and takes my hand, her fingers ice cold. Her smile is so bright, so practiced, it almost makes me question her motives. “Stevie…I see that this hurts you. It’s all over your face.”
My bottom lip trembles.
I glance over at Lex, but he’s still staring, his eyes fogged over, attention on the window.
“If you want to prove yourself, you need to show you’re capable.” Her thumb dusts across my knuckles, her smile telling everyone around us that she’s a doting, motherly figure. Kind and nurturing. “Never let them see what you’re really feeling.”
She pulls away when a spread of colorful and elaborate sushi is placed in front of us.
I reach for a piece with my chopsticks.
I force it down, just as I force down her cruel words and veiled brutality. I don’t even taste it. The acid in my throat is too potent, too thick. Everything tastes the same.
Like ashes.
The conversation pivots to Lex’s career—interviews, podcasts, promotional shoots—but he’s still a brick wall, only adding noncommittal commentary when it’s required.
Defending my honor was not required.
As dinner presses on, Veronica looks up at me with a smile. “You know, I do think this little facade has been effective. This…relationship.” She takes a sip of wine. “I always try to see the bright side of things, and you’ve certainly boosted your names in the press. Smart.”
I watch as I drown a piece of sushi roll in soy sauce, wishing it were Veronica. “Yeah,” I murmur.
“I also don’t blame Lexington for wanting to do something nice for you in the wake of everything that happened back in Illinois.”
My eyes slowly lift, tiny needles dancing down my spine. “What do you mean?”
“The accident, of course. It was a terrible thing. But allowing you to ride his coattails for a bit has been a gesture of good faith, ensuring you’ll stick to the story you gave at the time of the incident.
” Her eyes lose a bit of their sparkle, narrowing a fraction.
“I’m certain we see eye to eye on that.”
Riding his coattails.
A gesture of good faith.
Is she threatening me?
I twist toward Lex, certain he’ll say something this time. But I’m met with deadened eyes, like he’s totally gone, removed from the conversation entirely. I wonder if he’s even heard a word she’s said.
But I have.
And I’m done listening.
Reaching for Lex’s thigh, I dig my fingernails into his pantleg. “I think I’m ready to go.”
The touch of my hand brings him back to life. He blinks back to the dinner table, glances at me. Another dazed blink. “Right. Yeah, we should get going.”
“So soon?” Veronica dabs her mouth with her napkin, giving sad puppy-dog eyes to her son. “They have fried ice cream. Your favorite.”
“Sorry, but I’ve got that…thing tomorrow.” Swiping a hand down his face, he clears his throat and reaches for his wallet. A wad of hundred-dollar bills lands on the table. “I’ll call you later.”
“Looking forward to it. I’ll keep you posted on the time and place for dinner with Willa and her mother.”
“Yeah.” Lex stands from the chair, takes my hand, and leads me away from the table.
The moment we’re outside the restaurant, I tear my hand from his.
“Stevie—”
“Don’t.”
“Just ignore her. That’s what I do.”
“I noticed.”
The limo rolls up a minute later as I wrap my arms around my body, maintaining a three-foot gap between us. I can’t touch him right now. I can’t even look at him.
It’s a quiet drive back to his condo as he sits slumped in the seat, staring straight ahead. When he reaches for my hand, ten minutes into the trip, I dodge him, shifting away and icing him out.
No.
He doesn’t get to comfort me, especially when no one is looking. There’s no point.
A text message pings from my cell phone a moment later, and I glance over at Lex, watching as he stares down at his own phone with a tense jaw and weary eyes.
I don’t want to look, but I spare my screen a glance.
My Christian: I’m sorry.
Blowing out a breath, I flip my phone over in my lap and ignore the message.
I can’t do this right now.
The silence loudens, and all I want to do is roll down the window and launch myself at the California coastline.
It’s a treacherous forty-five minute drive back to Hollywood Hills.
My thoughts are disbanded, my breathing turning more erratic with every mile, and I feel my fingernails digging into my palms, leaving angry crescent moons behind.
I close my eyes and block everything out, waiting for this hellish drive to be over.
When Adrian finally helps me from the limo, I give him the kindest smile I can muster, then storm away as Lex trails behind me to the main doors.
“Stevie, come on.”
I don’t respond. I can’t.
Nothing I have to say is fit for public consumption, and there are people everywhere.
But the moment we’re inside—when we’re behind closed doors, trapped inside his enormous, stifling condo—I don’t hold back.
I unleash.