Chapter 35 Lex #2
“Use me, Lex,” she bites out, eyes volatile, cheekbones flushed pink.
“Go ahead. You’re good at it. You’re amazing at it.
” She shoots forward, hands balling at her sides.
“Come on. Take what you need. It’s what you do, what you’ve always done.
” Another forceful step toward me, causing me to teeter backward.
“You used me for comfort when we were teenagers, then left me all alone, broken and stranded, forced to pick up the pieces of my shattered dreams. You used me to put yourself at the top of Hollywood’s A-list with your sanctimonious television show that made a mockery of everything I held dear.
And you’re using me now, fooling the world into believing this sham of a relationship, just to help you sleep at night.
” She’s practically foaming at the mouth, her nostrils flaring with indignation.
“Are you sleeping, Lex? Huh? Have I finally been able to bring you peace ?”
We’re chest to chest.
I don’t know where to look, what to say. She’s caught me off guard, rendered me speechless, and when she drags her hands through her hair with a little cry of hopelessness, I react, snatching her by the wrists.
I spin her around and pull her to me, her back flush with my chest. “You’re right,” I breathe out, my voice dropping to a low growl.
She’s breathing heavily, her body shaking with emotion in my grip.
I press a flat palm to the space between her breasts and glide my hand down, watching over her shoulder as her nipples pebble through the thin fabric of her bra.
“You’re absolutely right, Nicks. I keep coming back, keep dragging you down with me. ”
She sags against me with a defeated gasp, her hair tickling my chin.
I drop my mouth to the shell of her ear, inhaling her scent. “I know that makes me selfish. I fucking know it. I’m selfish for wanting to feel, for wanting to keep you here, for wanting a taste of something good and sweet and pure.”
Brilliant green eyes stare up at me, her head tipped all the way back, cheeks damp with tears. I drag my hand up her body and grip her by the chin until her lips are fully parted.
She whimpers, eyelids fluttering. I press into her, my erection straining against my pants, digging into her from behind.
Another sound falls out of her, broken, needy.
I graze my thumb across her bottom lip. “I can’t help it,” I say, locking our eyes together. “You’ve been the only thing that has ever made me feel alive.”
Everything else I want to say dies out on my next breath as I lean over and crash her open mouth to mine. Her arm raises, linking behind my head, fingers squeezing my hair.
Our tongues slam together.
Messy, filthy, fucking euphoric.
I groan, filling her mouth with all the things I can’t say.
She spins around in my arms, her other hand flying to my hair, pulling, tugging, scraping my scalp.
We’re moving backward. Black-and-white keys chime a tuneless song as she collapses against the piano, taking me with her.
Our mouths remain hitched, faces angling, tasting deeper, as she drops a hand, tugging my shirt from my waistband, then skimming her palm up my abdomen.
My muscles twitch in response, my dick rock-hard as I grind my hips against her.
She mewls, cups me through my pants. I break away from the kiss with a tapered moan, nearly buckling.
But she pulls me back again. Our tongues slide together with no rhythm. A hurried, wet dance. I grab her face between my hands, one sliding into her hair, tugging her head back as I lean over her, needing more, needing everything she’s willing to give me.
She fumbles for my belt buckle.
Fuck.
This is happening.
And I’m not stopping it.
Hands shaking, I reach behind her back and unhook her bra, tearing our lips apart to watch the fabric slide down her arms until her breasts are bare, an inch away from my face.
Stevie arches up, bowing her back. She grips the nape of my neck and pulls me down, linking a leg around my hip for balance as I latch my mouth around her nipple and palm the other, a second away from coming undone.
She cries out, wrapping both legs around me, sealing me in a vise of pale, soft skin.
Everything around me blurs. Skews. My tongue laves her nipple, teeth nicking, hands squeezing plush curves. Her back arches up farther as trembling fingers unlink my buckle before she rips it open, then pulls my zipper down.
I wedge a hand between us, sliding it into her underwear, my mouth still locked around her breast. When my fingers sink into soaking wet flesh, I drag my mouth up her body and bury my face in the crook of her neck with a low, unraveling groan.
My eyes slam shut, teeth digging into my lower lip.
Stevie squirms beneath me, panting, as she unfastens the buttons of my dress shirt.
My finger slips inside her. Hot velvet swallows me whole as I bite the side of her throat, sucking a patch of warm skin into my mouth.
I pump my finger, adding a second.
She stops what she’s doing and latches on to my shoulders, then links her arms around my neck, tugging me closer. “Lex…” she breathes out, shaking in my arms.
My name on her lips is a shot of white-hot fire to my blood. She moves her head, finding my mouth again, and our tongues draw back together, dueling, feeling, searching.
I lift up enough to shrug off my shirt, yanking the sleeves down my arms until I’m bare-chested before her.
Her palms splay against my pectorals, fingernails clawing down the ridges of my abdomen, skin to skin, hard and soft.
She lowers her hands, dipping them farther, until she’s wriggling my pants and boxers down my hips.
I freeze on a sharp moan when she grips me.
Pulling away from her mouth, I look down between us, watching as she circles a small hand around my dick and strokes me up and down. My pants are pooled at my ankles, my erection straining between us, leaking from the crown.
Our eyes meet.
My breathing is shallow, erratic, my cock pulsing with need, and I’m one stroke away from coming before I’ve even managed to slide between her thighs.
Her knees part wider, an invitation.
I tear her underwear off, gliding the scrap of fabric down her legs until she kicks it free. She takes my face between her hands, presses our foreheads together. I glance down at her, glistening under the chandelier, the tip of my dick grazing her entrance.
Christ.
We’re going to have sex.
I’m going to lose my virginity, right here on this piano.
I plant one hand on top of the frame, then reach down to guide myself inside her. We both watch, panting heavily, as my thick head teases her, then disappears inside her by an inch.
Her head drops back, eyes squeezing shut. One hand curls around my bicep, the other landing on the keys, a dissonant jangling of chords. “Lex…” Her fingers loop around the keyboard, nails digging holes in my upper arm. “Please.”
“Fuck…” I grit out, sliding farther inside, my body trembling as my legs struggle to keep me upright. “Stevie.”
Sweat lines my brow.
My heart thunders inside my chest.
And when I slam all the way in, I collapse over her, a pornographic moan blending with piano keys.
Her legs tighten around me, pulling me closer, deeper.
I can’t move right away, afraid I’m going to come.
This isn’t going to last long; I hope she knows that.
I’ve never felt anything like this before—her inner muscles gripping me, drenching me, her hair and skin a cloud of sweet perfume, assaulting me until I’m blitzed out of my mind.
I pull out slowly.
Push back in.
She cries out, a raspy hitch of longing.
My hand flies up to tangle in her hair as I yank her mouth back to mine. Her moan echoes through me, spurring me on. I thrust into her again. She locks a hand around my neck, keeping us fused together, and my hips pump, jerky, without any rhythm.
My pace quickens as I drag my mouth down her neck, leaving wet trails with my tongue. “You’re fucking beautiful,” I rasp against her ear, pinning the lobe between my teeth. “So fucking beautiful.”
The keys ring out with every thrust, her ass lifting and crashing back down.
I feel it already. The pinnacle, the heady peak.
Climbing and clawing. I push deeper inside her, my jaw falling open as ecstasy grips me in an iron fist. I refuse to come before she does, but I don’t know what to do, how to get her there.
I kiss her again, slowly, intimately, cradling her cheek with my hand as the other grips the frame for leverage.
Her breasts bounce against my chest.
Ribbons of hair spill out behind her, blending with the wood.
“More,” she says into my mouth, pulling my lip between her teeth. “Touch me.”
Standing straighter, I reach between us, fingering between her legs.
She buckles, bows. “Yes…oh God, don’t stop.”
Our skin slaps together as I massage her, my vision blurring with unhinged lust. I watch as I pull out, then slide back in, off-key music coupled with sounds of slippery wetness and husky pants.
She grabs my shoulders.
Her face changes, head drooping back against the frame.
Then she makes a sound, an erotic moan that sends shock waves through my system. Stevie tenses on the piano, eyes closed tight, mouth open, neck craning as pleasure rips through her. I feel it too. The way she grips me when she comes, an unmatched, intoxicating feeling.
My name falls out as she breaks apart. “Lex.”
I collapse over her, my pulse tripping, my body close to detonating.
Grunting, I slam into her two more times before I freeze, everything locking up.
The cords in my neck dilate, my abdomen tensing.
Our mouths crash together as I grip her by the hips and a knee-buckling orgasm spirals through me.
I spill inside her, lightning slicing down my spine as I jerk with my release.
The moment spans out in infinite measure.
Time holds its breath.
Everything is golden and warm as I clutch her tight and ride out the waves until the pleasure dissipates, leaving me bone-weary.
My lips hover against hers.
I try to catch my breath, try to keep my thoughts from running wild and ruining the moment.
But again, I realize…I don’t know what to do.
My face lifts, and I brush my lips against the corner of her mouth for a final kiss. She blinks up at me, eyes foggy and half-lidded. Her lashes flutter as I come into focus above her, and she inhales a tight breath before pushing up off the keyboard.
I take a step back, slipping from her heat.
I’m still hard, our thighs sticky and wet.
The emptiness returns the moment we’re apart, and I feel cold.
Sliding my tongue along my lower lip, I reach down and yank my pants back up, tugging at the zipper but forgoing the buckle. I wait for her to say something. Anything.
I hate that this happened after an argument, while she was angry with me—while she urged me to use her. She needs to know that it wasn’t just fucking. It was…
I don’t know.
More.
More than I know how to put into words.
“Stevie, I…” My voice trails off as I stare at her, craving guidance. “Is that what you wanted?”
Fear slithers through me—fear that she was goading me, just trying to prove a point.
But Stevie wouldn’t do that.
I trust her. I’m safe with her.
She fumbles to pull her dress over her head, her hands quivering, legs unsteady. When her dress lands at her thighs, she pulls her hair from the collar and glances up at me. A beat passes as her tongue pokes out between her lips.
She nods. “Yes.”
Relief has my shoulders deflating, and I blow out a breath. “Okay.” I swallow, raking a hand through my hair. “Good.”
“I just…”
My muscles tense up, and I go still. “You what?”
Blinking rapidly, Stevie takes my hand in hers and twines our fingers together. Confusion glitters in her eyes, tears still glowing on her cheeks. “I don’t know.”
I shake my head a little, but I can’t think of anything to say.
I don’t know either.
We just crossed a line—a line that goes far beyond fake dating and a worldwide publicity stunt.
Where does that leave us?
Dating for real? A relationship? Friends with benefits until we publicly break up and Stevie flies back to Chicago, out of my life for good?
Where does that leave me?
I glance away, down at my discarded, wrinkled shirt.
She squeezes my hand. “Will you…hold me?”
I blink back at her, my brows creasing. We stare at each other.
I nod.
A tear slips from the corner of her eye before she tugs me forward, toward the staircase. She takes me into her bedroom, and I follow, dazed, conflicted, and picked apart. I watch as she throws back the covers and burrows underneath, inching to the side and leaving room for me.
I slide in beside her. Wrap an arm around her midsection and pull her to me, until we’re pressed together, my heartbeats stumbling against the smooth arc of her back.
My eyes close, my grip on her tightening.
Stevie’s breath steadies beside me, shallow and soft. Shifting closer, she intertwines our fingers just as my eyes start to feel heavy, a deep sleep edging its way through me.
I’m scared to let her go.
I’m scared to be alone again because now that she’s back, I remember.
I remember what it’s like to really feel.