Chapter 10
Why did he have to come here? That asshole.
The scene with Nick replayed in Kai’s head.
He’d felt so good, so right, so much better earlier, and then like the hangover after a really nice party, Nick.
It wasn’t so much Nick’s existence that bothered Kai but that Nick seemed to insist to make it overlap with Kai’s existence.
I don’t even really care anymore that he cheated on me—he can fucking cheat.
It’s just that I don’t want him. Any of it.
His touch, his stupid smile, him talking to me…
The crunching of glass interrupted Kai’s thoughts, and he looked up to watch Fian handle the jam that had shattered on the floor, skillfully moving it and all the shards onto the dustpan.
“It felt really good throwing that. I’m sorry I’m making you—”
“You’re not making me, I offered,” Fian said.
He smiled at Kai, and just like yesterday, Kai was struck by how attractive Fian was, stormy eyes and wavy hair, and that really nice smile.
Back in the water he looked…well, he looked a lot different in the water.
Kai felt heat rise to his cheeks even as Fian went back to cleaning, making it efficient and quick. Kai realized he was still holding on to a jar of elderberry jam, The Elder of Berries, he’d called it, and put it on the counter in front of him, his hands trembling.
Maybe I should call Nick? Just to make sure he’s all right. To apologize. What I did was…it was…
Glass crashed into the trash can behind the counter, and Fian was there all of a sudden, putting a hand on Kai’s knee and giving it a squeeze.
“Hey. Look at me. You’re white as a dead coral reef.”
“Huh?”
Fian shrugged. “You don’t look good. No! I mean, you look so good, but your color is wrong. Not wrong wrong, it’s still the right color, but you just turned very, very pale. It’s because…well, it’s because of that ugly barnacle back there.”
Kai blinked a few times as if he were shaking off a dream. Fian’s hand was warm on his knee. “You grabbed Nick by the collar.”
Fian lifted his chin. “I did.” His eyes opened wide. “That didn’t scare you, did it? He was in that door, blocking your exit, and I didn’t care for the way he was talking to you. I don’t, uh, throttle people. I mean, not for no good reason. Should I make you some tea?”
“You…don’t throttle people for no good reason?”
Fian’s mouth opened, closed, opened again. “I mean. I don’t throttle people at all? No, wait, I never throttled a person, ever. But he was so rude to you, and he—you’re feeling better, right?”
Kai let out a long breath he’d apparently kept bottled up in his lungs since Nick had interrupted his good day.
“I think I do. And I had a decent night’s sleep too—I did what you said yesterday.
Because you were in here yesterday. I totally remembered you.
I don’t just let strangers clean my messes. ”
Fian smiled, and he shoved the trash can off to the side so he could put both hands on Kai’s knee. It put him in an awkward kneeling position, almost as if he were getting on one knee in order to pop the question.
“I’m glad to hear it. I would worry otherwise. So, tea? And maybe we can chat. Oh! Is there anywhere to buy fried okra here? I will treat you, of course.”
Kai shook his head. “Not that I know of. And I was on my way to buy clothes.” He gestured at his frankly embarrassing outfit, maroon and baby blue. “Look at me.”
“I am. Looking at you.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t wear stuff like this normally. Or at least I didn’t use to, and then I came here, and…”
Kai let his head drop into his hands. How? Just how did all of this happen?
“I think you would look quite wonderful in nothing but a kelp shawl, but I will help you shop if you’ll have me. I like carrying bags and things. Can I come?”
Kai snorted. This is so weird. Should I tell this guy he featured large in last night’s wet dream? Nah, or else he’ll take me shopping for a psychiatrist or other treatment options.
“There aren’t a lot of guys who would eagerly go clothes shopping with another guy, you know.”
Fian straightened. “I learned this one. I’m happily gay, and given that most human societies are more tolerant when a gay man expresses his feminine side and what can be considered feminine preferences, I am both excited and qualified to accompany you on a shopping spree.”
Most human societies? What is he, and alien? A happily gay alien?
But with the anxiety and the feeling of his chest tightening up suddenly gone, Kai found that he didn’t much care. He knew Fian wasn’t some tentacle-wielding sex god like he had dreamed, but the man seemed fun. And Kai really was in the market to have fun.
The one problem leaving the town to get to a decent clothing store Kai hadn’t considered was that he didn’t have a car.
In the city, he hadn’t needed it, and when he’d moved out here, Nick had driven them everywhere in his car.
He’d never even once asked Kai if he might need the car too, had just assumed Kai would ask to be taken places.
And I did ask, didn’t I? I asked to get out of town, right? I must have. I just can’t remember right now.
“Uh, I don’t actually have a car,” Kai said to Fian once they were outside the Jammery.
“I see. And you want to leave this town. That I can understand. It will do you good, and I can—what I mean is, that’s good.”
Fian crossed his arms and looked left and right, then led Kai toward Main Street. “Do you have a cell phone?”
Kai nodded and slowly pulled the device from his back pocket. I always need to have this on me in case…in case fucking Nick calls? Give me a fucking break.
“It’s a flip phone,” Kai said, feeling embarrassment coloring his cheeks. “I can’t tell you why the fuck I would own a flip phone. I’m not ninety.”
Fian took the offered phone. Their hands touched, fingertip to fingertip, but at the contact, Fian smiled. The expression was so warm, so openly caring that Kai’s heart skipped a beat and tears stung the corners of his eyes.
I don’t deserve this. I’m so…I’m so…after Nick, I’m so…
“That’s okay. You know, I don’t have a phone at all right now, but I need one. My brother is making me get one. Oh, but we’re not talking about that old shark. May I use this? I’ll be back in the beat of a flipper.”
“S-sure.”
Fian pointed at the ground. “Wait right here. Don’t wander. The worst thing someone caught in a net can do is move out of panic. It only pulls the net tight. Right here.” He pointed again.
Kai snorted, and a tear rolled down his cheek. He was powerless to stop it, and he had no idea at all why he was crying. “You’re such a weirdo, Fian.”
“Oh, Kai, no.” He cupped Kai’s cheek, his fingers warm. Kai thought he felt Fian stroke him, felt something rougher against his cheek, but the sensations vanished as quickly as they had come. “Don’t spill salt for the barnacle man. Not for him. He isn’t worth all that.”
Kai nodded. It was all he could do. Then he pointed at the ground. “Right here.”
Fian nodded and flipped the phone open. It looked like his hand was sort of bluish, and Kai could have sworn that there was something like a tentacle tip and not a thumb dialing, but then, he was sort of crying, and Fian was walking a few steps away to make his call.
I’m imagining things. Fuck. I probably do need that therapist.