Chapter 36
CHAPTER 36
T ROY
When Shannon and I leave the hospital, rather than the snow settling down in the few hours since she arrived, it’s much worse. Visibility is barely a couple of feet, so when I suggest finding hotel rooms for the night and bringing her back to her car tomorrow, I’m relieved she agrees.
Fifteen minutes later, we’re at the only hotel that isn’t an additional twenty-minute drive away—which wouldn’t be safe at this point—and I’m standing before the clerk with Shannon at my side.
“Could you please check one more time?” I ask. It figures that we would be stuck in Pennsylvania, a few hours from home in the middle of a blizzard, and the only hotel anywhere near the hospital has only one room. That one room... it has one bed.
The clerk, who looks as tired as I feel, sighs and starts clicking away at her computer keyboard again. A minute later, she shakes her head, “I’m sorry, sir. That’s all I have.”
“We’ll take it. For two nights, please.” I can hear the resignation in my voice, so hopefully, Shannon knows I’m not trying to manipulate her. I figure it’s better to book for both nights than to risk not being able to find a place to stay if we can’t get home tomorrow.
I slide my credit card across the counter to the clerk and spend the next couple of minutes getting registered for the room. Once we have our key, Shannon and I walk silently to the elevator and take it to the fifth floor, where our room is. When we enter the room, it’s cozy and clean but immediately awkward, with one giant bed in the middle. At least there’s a chair I can sleep in once Shannon falls asleep.
Before I left Elladine, what feels like days ago rather than hours, I quickly packed an overnight bag in case I ended up needing to stay the night. Apparently, before leaving the house, Shannon had grabbed a whole second outfit in case of an emergency and brought it with her. She was quick to tell me she wasn’t planning on spending the night here but was prepared. I had always asked her to keep her gas tank above half and, if she was ever going to drive in less-than-ideal weather, to have extra clothes in case she got stuck. The power of layering shouldn’t be ignored. She often rolled her eyes at me during those reminders, but I’m glad to see it stuck.
I plan to spend the next couple of hours in the bar and then come back when Shannon’s asleep. I think that will be the least uncomfortable for both of us.
“Do you mind if I jump in the shower?” I ask.
“No, of course not. I plan to do the same after you.”
I nod at her and walk to the bathroom door but stop before entering. I turn and look at her. “Shannon, thank you for today. It means a lot.” I don’t wait for a response and head into the bathroom. I spend the next ten minutes letting the hot water hit my skin, attempting to wipe away the heavy emotion and sadness of the day.
When I get out of the shower and towel off, I go to grab my clothes and notice I left the bag out on the bed. She’s going to think I did this on purpose.
I peek my head out of the bathroom to ask her if she could leave the bag on the floor outside the door, but she’s not in the room. I look around and notice the ice bucket is missing, and I chuckle. It’s almost always one of the first things she does at a hotel. Because she can’t stand not having cold ice water available to her, she always fills up the ice bucket right away.
I can see my bag from where I’m at, and I’m sure I can snag it and get back into the bathroom before she comes back. I wrap a towel around my waist and walk over to the bed, grab my bag, and just as I turn, the door opens.
When Shannon sees me, she stands there with her mouth agape. For some reason, rather than continuing on to the bathroom, I freeze in place. I don’t miss how she looks me up and down, stopping longer than I would expect, where the towel hangs low on my waist. It causes a primal response in me. One I can’t afford to entertain right now.
I snap out of it. “Shit, I’m sorry, Shannon. I didn’t have my bag, and when I peeked my head out the door to ask you to bring it to me, you were gone. I thought I had enough time to get it before you got back.”
Shannon shakes her head as if she’s trying to clear her mind. “It’s okay. I-I went to get ice.”
I chuckle. “I figured.”
I continue to the bathroom and close the door behind me, leaning against it, closing my eyes, and sighing. Tonight will be even more challenging than I anticipated. Still, I must start getting used to the idea that she’s not mine. Not that I want to. Just the thought of it fills me with a need to prove otherwise.
I get dressed, brush my teeth, and think about how it felt when she told Doug she was my wife. I’m not dense. I know she was only rescuing me from an awkward situation but hearing her say it made my heart rate kick up and filled me with hope that I shouldn’t have.
When I step out of the bathroom, Shannon is sitting at the end of the bed with her bag of clothing sitting next to her. She looks up at me, and her face seems tense. I imagine she’s freaking out about the only one-bed situation.
“Hey, um, I know this here isn’t ideal, so I figure I’ll address the elephant in the room right away. I get that there’s only one bed and that our court appointment is this week. Soon, we’ll be...Um, well, you know. You take the bed, and I’ll sleep in the chair. I’m gonna hang out in the bar for a while first. I only need enough sleep to drive home safely tomorrow, and then I can sleep there.”
I hate that I’m suddenly uncomfortable with my wife. With the woman I would give anything to be able to stay married to. I want to be given a chance to let her know I see her and how beautiful she is. But it’s finally hitting me that’s not likely to happen.
“Troy...”
“It’s okay. You did more for me today than I’ll ever be able to pay you back for. It won’t kill me to sleep in a chair.” Not trusting myself to stay in the room with her any longer without breaking down, I grab my wallet and a room key, then head out the door.
Twenty-five minutes later, I’m sitting in the small hotel bar, nursing the same glass of whiskey I ordered when I first came down. In my peripheral vision, I catch sight of her as she sits on the stool next to me.
“Do you mind if I sit here? There’s a man I was hoping to meet for drinks, but he didn’t give me a chance to ask before he left.”
I turn and look at her. With damp hair, wearing tights and an Elladine Fire Department sweatshirt, she’s a fucking vision and takes my breath away. It doesn’t hurt that my inner alpha male loves seeing her in my old sweatshirt. I want to play this game with her.
I twist my body to face her.
“What a fucking idiot he must be. I’m guessing he only left because he was worried about keeping it together. Any man would have to be a fool not to want to have drinks with you.”
Her cheeks turn pink, and she looks at me through her long lashes. “Any man? Does that include you?”
“It especially includes me.” She bites her lower lip and, fuck, she’s sexy. I can’t take my eyes off her mouth. “What are you drinking tonight?”
“White wine would be great.” Her voice is alluring, and I can’t tell if it’s just that I miss her so damn much or that she’s trying to be hot. Either way, the woman has me riled up already.
I signal the bartender and order her wine.
She makes a very obvious show of glancing down at my left hand.
“I see you’re not wearing a wedding ring. Single then?”
Oh, she really wants to play. This is a risky game for us...
“Actually, I’m very much not single,” I whisper. I keep my eyes fixed on hers.
She stills. My heart starts pounding. I’ve gone too far, and I’ve creeped her out.
She takes a sip of her wine, then dips her head and stares at the bar top. “I’m sorry.” She’s so quiet I can barely hear her.
What? What am I missing?
I lean in and grab the sides of her barstool, then twist her until she’s facing me and our knees are touching. I dip a thumb under her chin and tilt her head back up until she’s looking at me.
“Hey, what’s happening here? Help me understand, chiclet.”
She hesitates.
“I’m embarrassed. I came down here because I want to speak to you about some things and then I saw you looking like that...”
“Damn, I knew these gray sweatpants and T-shirt would do the trick,” I tease.
A hint of a smile appears at the corners of her mouth. She shakes her head. “You really have no idea, do you?”
“Talk to me, please.” I’m desperate to see the confident, playful woman of a few moments ago. To wipe the frown from her face.
“I saw you, got caught up in feelings, and I forgot—or wanted to forget—that you’re... that you’re with someone.”
I’m speechless. I wrack my brain, trying to think where this is coming from. I come up with nothing.
“Shannon, what?—”
“I saw you,” she blurts out. “I saw you with her at lunchtime today. But so much has happened since then and my emotions have been high, and then I saw you in the towel.” She pauses and finally takes a breath but starts again as quickly as she stopped. “Then I came down here, and you’re in gray sweats, and I started acting—” She looks away from me.
“Stop.” I put my hands on her knees. “Look at me.” When she does, her eyes are misty, and it makes my heart ache. “Ask me again.”
“Huh?”
“Ask me if I’m single.” She rolls her eyes. “C’mon, humor me.” I slowly rub my thumbs in circles on her knees, trying to soothe her.
“Fine. Are you single?”
“No. Definitely not.” She tries to turn away from me, but I move my hands to her waist, and she stops. I move in closer to her. “I’m married. Full disclosure though, in a few days, she won’t legally be my wife anymore, but that changes nothing for me. In my heart, she’s it for me.” I watch as her eyes widen.
“But—”
“In fact, I’ve been seeing a counselor who’s helping me learn how to communicate better and how to listen. That way, if I ever get another chance to let my wife know how much I love her, how amazing she is, I’ll be ready.”
“Troy...” Her right hand draws to her chest, and her breathing deepens.
“Ask me what I was doing at lunchtime today?”
She narrows her eyes at me. “No.”
“Ask me.”
“No, I saw what you were doing. You were having lunch with a beautiful woman, and she was?—”
“I was having lunch with my counselor.”
Her eyes widen. “What the hell, Troy? Are you dating your counselor ? Oh, my God.”
She tries to pull away. “I’m not dating my counselor. We were doing a therapy session. Practicing my listening skills with distractions around me. So, I could get better at listening to my wife and not miss important things she tells me anymore.”
“You’re not dating your counselor? Or anyone else?” she whispers.
“No. Do you remember what I told you when you asked me if I was seeing anyone the day we met at the library and then went back to my house?”
There she goes, biting at that lip again. Damn. She looks up at me through long lashes. “You said you weren’t moving on?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I said. I meant it then, and I still mean it.”
She stares at me, then leans into me, a glimmer of that confidence returning. “Do you remember what happened after you said that?”
I smile at her. “I think so, but could you remind me... to be sure I’m not forgetting anything?”
I don’t expect her to answer. We’ve always connected physically, but we’re in a public space, so she’ll probably be embarrassed.
“You pinned me against the wall, lifted my leg, and fucked me until we both came. Hard.”
Jesus. Christ. I did not expect that, and she knows it as she fights back a smirk.
“May I make a suggestion?” Her eyes are glossy, and a rosy flush covers her face and neck as she leans into me.
“Uh, huh.” It’s all I manage to get out.
She stands and moves between my legs, and I slide my hands up her sides, splaying my hands wider to touch more of her. I’m fully aware the tips of my thumbs are grazing the side of her breasts.
“We need to talk. I have so much in my head and in my heart that I want to share with you... Stuff I hope will make you happy. Things I’ve been wanting to talk about but have held back. But I suggest, before we do that, you take me back up to our room, and you show me how your non-verbal communication skills are doing.”
I lean in until my mouth is near her ear. “Are you asking me to take you upstairs and fuck you senseless until there is no question in your heart or your mind about how I see you? How damn sexy you are. To show you exactly how I feel about you? I’d love to show you exactly that until you finally believe me that you’re the only one for me. You’ll always be the only one for me.”
She moans, and I’m desperate to get her out of here now.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m asking. Please.”
I throw down enough cash to cover our drinks and tip, and we practically run out of the bar. Somehow, we make it to the room without stripping each other naked. As soon as we’re through that door, though, our clothes fly off as we’re desperate to feel each other, skin to skin.
When her clothes are all off, I step back and drink her in.
“God, I can’t believe you don’t know how beautiful you are.” I cup her cheek and tuck her hair behind her ear. She smiles, takes my hand, and guides us to the bed. We lie down on our sides, facing each other.
When our mouths come together, at first, the kiss is desperate, frantic almost. Then, it slows and becomes more intimate as we take our time exploring each other’s mouths and touching each other’s faces. When I hover over her and move my kisses to her neck, she moans and moves to expose more of it to me. I spend some time there, loving her responsiveness as I caress all her sensitive spots with my mouth.
Her fingers roam through my hair as I move down to her breasts, making her gasp as I bite down just hard enough on one of her nipples to walk that line between deep pleasure and pain. I know this woman’s body as well as I know my own. Nothing is as satisfying as knowing exactly what will bring her pleasure and continuing to learn new things she likes.
As I work my way down her body, I hit every one of her secret pleasure points with my mouth. That spot under her last rib on her right side. The spot on her hip she likes me to graze my teeth along. The place on her inner thigh she loves me to nip, then soothe with swirls of my tongue.
By the time my face is buried between her legs, we’re both so wired I know she’ll come soon. But I’m not ready for that yet. I pace things to remind her exactly how much pleasure I can wring from her body.
She moans and tries to writhe underneath me to get more friction as I hold her still with a palm across her lower belly. Meanwhile, my index and middle fingers of my free hand lightly caress the entrance to her pussy. It’s something I know drives her wild, and I continue it in the background while my tongue finds her clit for the main event.
I groan at how good she tastes.
“God, babe. I’ve missed the sweet taste of your pussy.” She whines in response and tries to buck her hips closer to my mouth again. I chuckle and oblige, bringing my tongue back to her clit, circling it, alternating pressure. When her thighs start to tremble against my torso, I know it’s time—she’s so close. That’s when I suck on her clit with exactly the right amount of suction at the same time as I fill her with the two fingers I’ve been teasing her with.
She turns her head and roars into the pillow as she comes wildly under me. But this isn’t my first rodeo, and I’m always prepared to hold on tight for this part of the ride, not to let her come down until I’m sure I’ve drawn every ounce of pleasure from her that I can.
She gets to decide what comes next in this scenario, and as she tosses the pillow away from her, the next word from her mouth tells me exactly what she wants, what she needs.
“Over,” she pants. It’s only one word, but I know precisely what she means.
Like a well-practiced dance, I’m on my back, and she’s sliding down onto my cock in a matter of seconds. Both of us moan simultaneously. She puts her hands on my hips for leverage as she rides me, chasing her orgasm.
For the last few years, when we’re in this position, she’s been closing her eyes and tossing her head back. At first, I thought it was sexy, but then I recognized it for what it was—it was because it was too hard to look at me during such an intimate act with everything that was coming between us.
Tonight, her hair, having long ago fallen out of its hair tie, is spread wildly across her shoulders, and her eyes are wide open. She’s laser-focused on watching me as our bodies come together. Hope fills my heart because I’m certain I’m not the only one who knows this isn’t simply fucking. No, this is much more than that. We’re making love. I’m making love with my wife.
God, I love this woman. Every bit of her.
She bites down on her lower lip, and I can tell by the feel of her body that she’s getting close. So, when I slip my hand between us and brush back and forth over her clit, I’m ready for it as she falls apart when her orgasm overtakes her. What surprises me is the treat of coming nearly simultaneously with her, and we ride out the explosions of pleasure together.
When we’re finished, our bodies and our minds are exhausted. She collapses forward onto my chest, and I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight with one hand while I trace my fingertips over her back with the other.
“Sleep for a bit, chiclet. We’ll talk after you’ve had some rest. Okay?”
“Mmm hmm,” she answers.
I kiss the top of her head and fight the pull to close my eyes, praying that this isn’t a dream.