Chapter 10 #2
He takes a seat next to me, leaning against the armrest. “A small part is due to my ex-fiancée turning Christmas into a big production. It was about the extravagant decorations, one-upping the neighbors, and expecting expensive gifts. After she moved to the big city, I realized all that shit was meaningless.”
No wonder Shep was apprehensive when I showed up on his doorstep—a city girl who reminded him of the woman who must have stomped on his heart and never looked back. I have so many more questions, but I am once again wary of spooking him.
“After Danielle left, I spent the holidays with my folks,” he continues.
“Ma loved this time of year, and for her, it was about spreading joy and kindness. She loved donating to the local food pantry and organizing a Secret Santa for the local homeless shelter to make sure everyone experienced a little magic that season.” A small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.
“Your mom’s got it figured out. This time of year should be about family and giving back to the community. Some of my favorite traditions are ice skating at Rockefeller Square and picking out gifts for kids who could use a little holiday magic.”
“Every Christmas morning, Ma invited the whole block over for her homemade French toast, and we’d go caroling in the surrounding towns with neighbors.” The warmth in his tone is unmistakable.
I tilt my head, blinking rapidly. “You willingly sang to strangers? I find that hard to believe.”
Shep shrugs. “When I was a kid, my dad said Santa might leave me coal if I didn’t participate.
So I guess you could say I was coerced.” The fine lines around his eyes deepen as he laughs, making him look even more handsome.
“As an adult, I did it because it brought my mom joy, making it worthwhile, even if my singing probably scared off a few people over the years.”
I laugh softly. “Your parents sound like amazing people. Do they live in Pine Haven?”
He lowers his eyes, sadness written across his features. “They passed a few years ago, just six months apart.” My heart aches for him, imagining a life without my own parents.
I lean against his shoulder, my hand settling on his chest. It feels right comforting him this way, and the urge to touch him outweighs all logic.
“I’m so sorry, Shep.”
He surprises me by resting his head against mine. “Thanks, Sunshine. The holidays were never the same without them, ya know?”
“I can’t even begin to imagine,” I whisper.
It breaks my heart that he’s been hurting for so long. I wish I could somehow restore the magic of Christmas for him, as a reminder of the cherished memories with his parents. No one should be sad during a season meant for joy and happiness.
“I don’t talk about them much, but they were good people,” Shep says.
“Of course they were. They raised you.”
His eyes widen just briefly before he blinks, swallowing hard. “They did their best, but I tested every boundary.”
I fake a gasp. “You were difficult? I’m shocked.”
“Look who’s talking, Miss I-argue-about-everything-even-when-it’s-for-my-own-good,” he counters with a chuckle. “No question you gave your parents hell too.”
I peer up at him. “Guess that makes us evenly matched.”
He strokes my cheek, warmth shining in his eyes. “I think you might be right.”
I reflexively lean into his touch, closing my eyes against the gentle pressure of his hand.
Being with Shep is beginning to feel effortless.
There are no expectations to act a particular way or need to steer clear of sensitive topics for fear of offending him.
Rather, I’m free to be my talkative, over-enthusiastic, slightly clumsy self, and he matches me in every playful exchange—giving as good as he gets.
Earlier, I started searching for places to stay once the weather clears. My feelings on the matter have shifted since I got here, and though I want to further discuss it with Shep, I’m afraid his reaction will differ from mine and leave me disappointed.
There’s only one way to find out.
I open my eyes to find him watching me. “I checked the weather app earlier, and the storm should fully clear in the next couple of days,” I remind him as a pit forms in my stomach.
“Would you mind giving me a ride into town once it’s safe to drive down the mountain?
I’ll have to arrange for a tow truck to get the convertible. ”
Shep mentioned that the road to his cabin is one of the last to be plowed after a snowstorm since there are no other houses nearby. He keeps a four-wheel-drive truck equipped with snow tires and chains. It makes me think he knew I couldn’t leave after that first night—yet he let me stay anyway.
He visibility stiffens beside me. “Where are you going to stay?”
I straighten in my seat to face him. “I’m not sure. I checked, and every hotel and vacation rental in Pine Haven is booked for the holidays, so I was thinking of heading back to Phoenix or returning to New York early.”
Truthfully, neither option feels right, and thinking of spending Christmas alone leaves a hollow ache in my chest. Even if I stayed with Shep and we treated it as a typical day, that would be enough. I hate thinking about him alone on this mountain and would give anything to stay longer.
“Is that what you want?” Shep asks as if he can see straight through me.
“I’m not sure,” I confess, scared to voice the truth.
Two days ago, I was counting down the hours until I could leave this cabin. Now, I’m secretly hoping for another storm to keep me here.
“You could stick around and spend Christmas here. Maple’s taken a shine to you and would be mighty disappointed if you left without visiting her again.
” He takes off his hat, holding it to his chest as he rakes a hand through his hair.
“But if you’re set on leaving, I’ll take you wherever you want. ”
He won’t meet my gaze, and his lips are pressed into a thin line. Could he be… anxious?
My pulse quickens, and I question whether I’m reading him right, yet his reaction confirms it. It’s not Maple who doesn’t want me to leave—it’s Shep.
I place my hand over his, easing the hat from his grasp, and setting it on the coffee table. I turn back to him, noticing his shallow breathing and shoulders tight with tension, betraying his worry that I might decline his offer to stay.
I graze my knuckle along his cheek as I whisper, “Do you want me to stay for Christmas?”
Please say yes.
He slowly lifts his eyes to meet mine. “I do.”
I give him a soft smile, letting my fingers trace along the gray streaks at his temple. “Is that the only thing you want, Shep?”
I move closer until our faces are only inches apart. His muscles tense under my touch, and he grabs hold of the armrest like it’s the only thing keeping his self-control in check.
“Noelle, what are you doing?” His voice is hoarse.
I probably shouldn’t tease him, but seeing the effect I have, combined with the fact that we’re snowed in together, makes me ache to have his hands on me. I won’t relent until he surrenders to the sparks igniting between us.
My gaze flicks to his mouth. “Do you want to kiss me, cowboy?”
His chest rises and falls rapidly as he tightens his grip on the armrest.
“It’s alright if you do.” I lean in, brushing my lips along the edge of his mouth.
The room pulses with the hum of our mingled breaths.
“You’re trouble, woman,” he growls.
“Only the fun kind,” I whisper back.
He cups my chin, letting his fingers glide along my jawline. “Kissing is a bad idea.”
“The very worst.”
His usually cold expression is replaced with an undeniable simmering hunger that radiates desire.
“Good thing I don’t shy away from bad ideas, darlin’.”
He closes the remaining distance between us to claim me with a possessive kiss that makes it impossible to think straight.
The tip of his tongue glides across my lips, and he lets out a low growl when I open my mouth and welcome him inside.
He lifts me into his lap, swinging my legs over the armrest, careful not to further injure my ankle.
I weave my fingers through his hair, dragging him closer as our kiss deepens.
“Fuck, I’d have kissed you sooner if I knew you’d taste this sweet,” Shep groans.
I couldn’t agree more. His mouth on mine is a revelation—euphoric, primal, consuming. I’ve never experienced anything like it before.
Whatever restraint he had left snaps as his hand roams along the line of my waist. He rocks against me, his hard cock rubbing against my thigh. My nipples grow achy, and my body hums with longing, wishing I could straddle him.
I’m on the verge of begging him to take my clothes off when the timer in the kitchen goes off.
I blink rapidly, awareness sinking in, as I’m met with Shep’s heated gaze. His hair is tousled from my grip, and his striking brown eyes study me closely, gauging my reaction. His chest heaves like he’s just run a marathon, and his pupils are dilated.
I instinctively brush my fingers against my bee-stung lips.
Oh my god.
I just kissed Shep, and it was better than I could have imagined.
After a few seconds, the timer goes silent and when he speaks, his voice is low and gravelly.
“You better not regret that kiss, Sunshine. It was damn good.” He repositions me in his lap, holding me tight as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear. “Fuck, all I want is to take you to bed, spread you out, and taste you everywhere.” My thighs clench, betraying my body’s overwhelming longing.
I want that more than anything. But as he speaks, I sense him withdrawing. His shoulders stiffen, his hands falling to his side as he lowers his gaze.
“But?” I ask softly, encouraging him to finish.
With a heavy sigh, he presses his forehead against mine, eyes closed as he breathes me in. “You’ll be gone in a few days, and odds are I’ll never see you again.”
The possibility that this might be the only time our paths will ever cross makes my stomach twist. He’d never visit New York, and I don’t have any plans to return to the Southwest anytime soon.
“People have casual hookups all the time…” I say, letting my words trail off.
He leans back to look at me. “Have you ever had one?”
“No,” I confess.
I prefer an authentic connection before getting physical with someone.
In the past, the path was plagued with uncertainty and second-guessing, and I ultimately walked away after trusting the wrong men.
With Shep, things have moved at breakneck speed, but no warning bells go off when I picture a night in his bed where we’re doing anything but sleeping.
Our bodies a tangle of limbs, unable to be discerned one from the other.
I’m tired of playing it safe and not taking what I want when the opportunity presents itself. Right now, all I want is Shep, even if our time is limited.
“I’ve never had a one-night stand either.” He rubs my back in soothing circles. “Call me old-fashioned, but I’m a commitment kind of guy. And I’m not strong enough to sleep with you only to have to pretend that it doesn’t mean anything when you walk away.”
“Oh,” is all I can manage in response, taken aback at his declaration.
“You’re the kind of woman I’d never want to let go of. Just being near you makes me want more,” he says, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. “One night and I’d be hooked.”
What he doesn’t say out loud is that he’s afraid of getting hurt.
I’m just another city girl leaving him behind in a few short days.
I value his honesty, and above all, I want to make the most of the time we have left getting to know each other.
With mutual attraction simmering between us and being in such close quarters, keeping things platonic will be a tall order.
“I guess that means we shouldn’t kiss again, huh?”
His gaze drops to my mouth. “I wouldn’t be able to stop if we did.”
“It was a good kiss,” I say softly.
“The best damn kiss, Sunshine.” He leans forward to kiss the tip of my nose. “Had to sneak in one more before my next dry spell.”
“I’m glad you did,” I say softly.
Shep gives me a soft smile before lifting me off his lap and setting me on the couch cushion. He leans over to prop my foot on the pillows before putting his hat back on and standing.
“Noelle.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m really glad you’re staying for Christmas.”
I brush my fingers across my mouth, giving him a wistful smile. “Me too, cowboy.”
“I’m going to go check to make sure I didn’t burn the casserole, and then we’re going to watch Elf like I said we would,” he says, smoothing down his mustache.
“Can’t wait.” As much as I want to kiss him again, I’m excited to make a holiday memory together.
Shep makes it easy to let my guard down and to be myself, which is why I have a hunch one of us will eventually give in completely. How can our relationship remain strictly platonic while staying under the same roof after that scorching kiss?