Chapter 20 #2
It’s now late evening, and we’re cuddled up on the couch, the fire crackling while we watch The Holiday. I’m nestled into his side, my head resting against his shoulder, his arm wrapped around me. His thumb idly traces patterns along my upper arm.
I couldn’t resist roping my grumpy mountain man into watching a romcom, and after he begrudgingly agreed, he’s now fully invested as we near the end. His lips twitch into a smile whenever Miles, played by Jack Black, cracks a joke or hums along to the film’s score.
During the part where Arthur’s in his study giving Iris advice, Shep comments, “That guy’s sharp as a tack. ‘You should be the leading lady of your own life’ is pure gold.”
I lift my head to look at him with a raised brow. “You’re quoting Arthur now?”
“What can I say? Wisdom’s universal, especially coming from another cranky old man,” he says with a smirk.
I offer him a smile, but it falters after a few seconds.
Our playful banter is a bittersweet reminder that this could be our last full day together.
He hasn’t said anything about me driving to Phoenix tomorrow, and I can’t bring myself to mention it, terrified he might not want the same thing I do.
After all the memories we’ve made, especially the days leading up to Christmas, I’d like to think I know him well enough to trust that his feelings mirror mine, clinging to the hope that he doesn’t want to part ways either.
Shep visibly stiffens beside me when we reach the scene where Amanda Woods says goodbye to Graham. His hand tightens around my shoulder as a subtle tremor ripples through him when he watches Graham linger at the cottage doorstep.
He’s not the only one affected. Even after seeing this movie countless times, a knot still forms in my chest at the way Graham watches Amanda—eyes soft but desperate, like he’s memorizing her face in case he never sees her again.
And this time it hits harder, because the goodbye is shadowed by the one waiting for Shep and me.
I’m snapped from my melancholy thoughts when he pauses the movie.
I push myself off his chest into a sitting position and turn to face him. “Don’t you want to finish it? I promise it has a happy ending.”
“I don’t want you to leave,” he blurts out.
I freeze, my heart hammering. “What?”
Shep puts the remote down then takes my hands in his, his gaze searching mine. “I can’t watch you drive away tomorrow and pretend I’m fine letting you go. You’ve turned my world upside down, and you’re the first person who’s made me feel something real in a long time.”
My breath catches at his declaration, a swirl of relief and anticipation clouding my thoughts.
“You mean it?” I ask hesitantly.
He nods, his brown eyes earnest and unguarded. “More than anything. I don’t think I could survive you leaving, knowing there’s a chance I’ll never see you again.”
“I don’t think I could either,” I admit, my voice trembling slightly.
Until now, coaxing him to open up has been a delicate dance, and I was afraid that I’d scare him off.
Yet now, he speaks freely, unafraid to express his true feelings.
I’m unsure if his newfound courage came from watching the movie scene echoing our own situation, the looming goodbye pressing on him or both.
Regardless, it leaves me with a renewed sense of hope, knowing that we’re aligned.
“I don’t know what my future looks like, but I want you in it,” he states, his thumb moving in slow circles across my palm as he speaks.
“I’d never ask you to give up your life in New York, though.
All I want is to find a way for us to be together.
Hell, if you decide that you want to go back tomorrow, I’ll pack a bag and go with you if you’ll have me.
I’m sure I could rope in Jake or a ranch hand from town to look after the animals while I’m gone—for the right price. ”
I blink at Shep, unsure I heard him correctly. “You’d go with me to the city? The man who barely tolerates spending an evening in Pine Haven with a population of two thousand people?”
He nods. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Sunshine.”
Butterflies swarm my stomach.
There’s no question Shep would go to New York if I asked, but I can’t imagine him in the big city with its endless noise and crowded streets.
He thrives in the mountains, where life moves more slowly and it’s quiet enough to think.
I could never take that away from him. Honestly, I’ve come to love the peaceful pace, and this place holds a piece of my heart because it’s where our story began.
I tuck my feet underneath my legs and scoot closer to Shep until my knees brush his.
“I want us to have a real shot, and that means staying here with you. Everything leading up to this moment makes me believe our meeting was more than a coincidence. I’d like to think it was a touch of holiday magic that brought us together.
” I reach up to frame his face with my hands.
“It’d be a shame to walk away from what’s right in front of us. Don’t you think?”
“Whether it was a little Christmas magic or fate intervening, I’m just glad you’re mine.” He leans in, brushing his mouth against my lips. “My main focus is making sure you’re happy here, and that includes a seamless transition with your podcast.”
I’m touched that he’s already thinking ahead.
“You’re right. There’s plenty to plan, like finding a studio. It has to be big enough to fit all my equipment and also aesthetically pleasing for promotional content.”
“What will you do with the one in New York?” Shep asks.
“Our lease ends in January, so I won’t have to worry about it after that.” I lower my hands, pulling back just enough so I can meet his gaze while I explain. “Most of my team works remotely, and Gemma mentioned she might move back to Vermont. If she does, I’d be the only one left in the city.”
The only other reason to stay in New York is my parents, but now that they’re retired, they’ve got travel plans lined up for most of next year. And I can easily plan my visits when they’re home.
Shep runs his fingers through his mustache, swallowing hard. “There’s an extra office at the back of High Noon. The place is closed Monday through Wednesday, so you could record there. Hell, we could even soundproof it so you could use it during events on other nights,” he adds with a shrug.
I gape at him. “Really?”
My current studio is in an office building with walls so thin I can hear the janitor sneeze, so I record at night when it’s quiet and I don’t have to fight background noise. It would be nice to have a dedicated, soundproof space designed specifically for my podcast.
“Yeah. And I’ll be close by if you need anything.” He gives my thigh a reassuring squeeze. “Casey’s gonna have his hands full once the baby comes, and it’s about time I step up. After all he’s done for me, I reckon it’s only fair I return the favor.”
It makes me happy to see him coming out of his comfort zone. He’s recognized the sacrifices Casey has made, and is taking the initiative to show his gratitude, and I’m looking forward to making more memories with him at the honky-tonk.
“Think Casey will do the same for you one day?”
He quirks a brow. “What do you mean?”
“When you have kids, do you think he’ll return the favor?” I repeat, anxiously waiting for Shep’s response.
“Do you want a family someday?” he asks, his tone hesitant.
He’s shared his desire to become a dad, but I’ve never told him how I feel about having children or that I’ve always wanted a big family too.
“I’d like three or four kids,” I say.
He takes my hands in his, eyes lighting up. “Four sounds perfect.”
There may not be any guarantees with Shep. The best-laid plans rarely go as intended, but I’d rather take the risk than spend my life wondering what might have been with the man I’ve fallen head over heels for.