Chapter Thirty-Five
Zade
Once we reach the cabin, I take a long bath.
When I step out of the bathroom, the steam trails behind me, lingering in the air.
The warm air inside the cabin wraps around me, but it does nothing to chase away the cold knot in my chest. I towel off, the soft fabric rougher than usual against my skin, and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
The face in the mirror looks like a stranger—haunted, exhausted, and beaten down by burdens beyond my control.
I see a man who's lost, and for the first time, I don't know how to find my way back.
The hot shower did little to calm my nerves, but it gave me time to think, to piece together the scattered thoughts racing through my head.
The resort project, the thing I’ve poured so much time and energy into, has become a burden, a symbol of everything I thought I wanted but now realize isn’t worth the cost. And for what?
A win that feels more like a loss every day?
I can’t keep doing this, chasing victories that leave nothing but destruction in their wake.
I quickly get dressed, and when I walk into the living room, Juniper is sitting by the fireplace, her face illuminated by the soft, flickering light.
She looks up as I enter, her eyes searching mine, and I can see the unspoken q uestions there.
She’s been thinking, too, and I wonder if she’s reached the same conclusion I have.
I don’t waste time with small talk. “Juniper, I’m pulling out of the project,” I say it slowly, each word weighted, but there’s no hesitation.
Her eyes widen in surprise, and she sets down the book she’s been pretending to read. “What? Zade, are you serious?”
I nod, moving closer to her, needing her to understand. “Yeah, I am. I’m done with it. I’ll deal with the fallout, whatever it costs me. I can’t keep going with this, knowing what it’s doing to you and to us.”
She stands up, disbelief and relief warring on her face. “But the project... it’s everything you’ve worked for. Why would you just give it up?”
I run a hand through my still-damp hair, feeling frustrated. “Because it’s not worth it, Juniper. Not if it means losing you. I’ve spent my whole life chasing wins, but for once, I’m choosing to walk away.”
She stares at me, her lips parting in shock, but I don’t stop.
I need her to hear this, to understand what’s been gnawing at me.
“This town, the money I’ve already spent here.
.. It all means nothing to me. The people here—they’re selfish and mean, and they’ve treated you like shit.
I’ve seen it; I’ve heard the things they say and the way they look at you.
Whatever I’m doing, it’s all for you. Just you. ”
She’s quiet for a moment, her eyes reflecting the struggle inside her as she tries to find the right words.
Finally, she takes a deep breath, her voice steady but soft.
“Thank you Zade. I know the people—even my own parents—have hurt me more than I can say. I hate what they’ve done and who they are.
But this place—it’s where I have my few good memories.
With Grams, with Jacob. I know it’s messed up, but it’s home.
It’s roots. It’s the one place where, even when everything else falls apart, I can still find a part of myself. ”
Her words hit me in a way I wasn’t prepared for, stirring up memories I’d rather forget.
Roots. Home. Those words never really meant anything to me.
Before I was adopted, my life was a mess—unstable and chaotic.
The idea of being anchored to a place, of having a home that’s more than just a roof over your head, is something I’ve never truly known.
My throat tightens, and I look away, vulnerability creeping in despite my best efforts to keep it buried.
“I wouldn’t know,” I admit, my words raw with an emotion I’m not used to sharing.
“I didn’t have a home growing up. Just foster homes, bouncing from one place to the next, never staying long enough to put down roots, to feel like I belonged anywhere.
I learned early on that people don’t stick around.
You have to fend for yourself, and winning was the only thing that mattered. ”
She leans closer, her hand hovering in the air, like she’s unsure whether to touch me or not. “Zade...”
I let out a shaky breath, trying to keep my composure.
“When I was a kid, Axel was the closest thing I had to a family. He taught me that winners have it all and that winning was the only way to survive. And I believed him. Hell, I lived by that creed. But now... now I’m starting to see that maybe winning isn ’t everything. ”
She’s listening intently, her eyes locked on mine, and I can see the empathy there, the understanding. But it’s not pity. It’s something deeper, something that makes my chest tighten in a way that’s both painful and comforting.
“For you, Juniper, I want to change. I want to be a better man. A man you deserve,” I whisper, the admission costing me more than I thought it would. It’s like ripping open an old wound and letting her see the parts of me I’ve kept hidden for so long.
Her eyes fill with tears, and she closes the distance between us, placing a hand on my chest. The warmth of her touch seeps into me, grounding me in a way I didn’t know I needed. “Zade, you don’t have to give up who you are. I just... I just want you to see that there’s more to life than winning.”
I nod, swallowing hard. “I’m starting to see that. But it scares the hell out of me, Juniper. I’ve never been good at losing. But if it means not losing you, I’m willing to try.”
There’s a long silence, filled only by the crackling of the fire and the unspoken emotions hanging in the air between us.
Finally, she gives me a small, tremulous smile, one that’s filled with both hope and fear.
“You don’t have to do this alone, Zade. Maybe.
.. maybe we can find a way to win together. ”
Her words are like a balm to the ache in my chest, soothing the fear and uncertainty that have been plaguing me.
I take her hand in mine, squeezing it gently, and for the first time in a long while, I feel like maybe, just maybe, there’s a way forward.
“I’d like that,” I say . My tone is hoarse and thick with emotion. “I’d like that a lot.”
Then, without another word, I pull her into my arms. As I hold Juniper close, feeling her warmth against me, it’s like the world finally makes sense for once.
There’s a peace here that I’ve been chasing for longer than I care to admit.
But even with her in my arms, there’s this gnawing feeling at the back of my mind, something that keeps me from fully sinking into the moment.
I know what it is, too—it’s the mess I’ve made, the mess I need to fix, and I can’t just let it sit there any longer.
I pull back slightly, just enough to meet her gaze—those eyes that always seem to see right through me.
There’s concern there and curiosity too, like she knows I’m about to drop something on her.
“Juniper, I’ve been thinking,” I start, keeping my voice soft, though there’s a weight to what I’m about to say.
“I’m going to organize a grand party. Something big, something where I can announce that I’m pulling out of the project. ”
She looks at me like I’ve just told her I’m planning to juggle flaming swords. Her eyebrows pull together, and I can see the confusion written all over her face. “A party? Zade, why do we need a party for that? Can’t you just... I don’t know, make a public statement or something?”
I can’t help the smirk that tugs at my lips.
Her straightforwardness is one of the things I love most about her—always cutting right to the chase.
But this? This is about more than just a simple announcement.
“Trust me, you’ll see,” I say, trying to keep the tone light even though this idea is anything but.
She’s still skeptical, and I can see her trying to figure out what the hell I’m getting at. But this isn’t just about the town or the project. In my mind, it’s all for her. They’ll see it too, that everything I’m doing is for her.
But what I don’t say—what I keep locked up inside—is that every move I’m making now, every plan, every gesture, is all for her.
To show her that I’m not the man I used to be and that she’s the reason I’m willing to turn my back on everything I thought I wanted.
This town, this damn project—all of it means nothing compared to her.