Chapter 26
Mats hoped that this weekend with Lotta would allay some of his fears that their long-distance relationship wasn’t going to go the distance.
If he hadn’t been busy himself, packing up his apartment, fielding questions from the estate agent and keeping a close eye on his dwindling bank balance, he might have felt worse about the fact that he and Lotta had barely spoken over the past two weeks.
He knew she needed space. She hadn’t said that to him, but he could feel her pulling away from him, and instinctively he knew that trying to bring her closer wouldn’t help.
She had something to prove to herself, and if he let that run its course, he hoped it would lead her back to him.
So he’d let her be the one to call him, to text first, and had tried not to seem as if he needed her.
When he saw her waiting along the rail outside the arrivals door at the airport with a big smile on her face, he felt as if he’d been imagining everything. Spending two weeks apart from the person you loved would do that, especially if things were a little up in the air as they were at the moment.
Lotta was beaming as she waited for him to round the end of the railing and come to her. He took her in his arms and buried his face in her hair.
‘I’ve missed you so much,’ he said.
‘Look at you,’ she said, grinning. ‘You’re all weathered and relaxed looking.
He laughed. ‘Is weathered a compliment?’
‘Yes, it suits you.’ She leant up and kissed him, and he wondered what he’d been worried about.
‘So how have things been?’ he asked once they were on the Tube heading to Lotta’s.
‘Good. Really busy. Snug want to keep me on a retainer for their social media which is great and I’ve had a couple of enquiries from potential new clients.’
‘That’s wonderful! Congratulations!’ He squeezed her hand and loved seeing the pride in her face. ‘So they were pleased with the Oslo campaign?’
‘Really pleased. I presented to all the store managers, and there was such a positive response to the way we’re planning to roll it out to them. It’s pretty exciting.’
‘I’m so happy that things are working out for you, Lotta.’ After what she’d told him about her ex-fiancé, he understood how much this meant to her.
‘And how’s the island? Have you got any pictures?’
He pulled his phone out and showed her the progress on the farmhouse. ‘It’s almost back to being watertight and as soon as it is we can start on the inside.’
‘It feels as if it’s happening really quickly now.’
‘I know. Lars managed to get more people on site to really push getting the construction done while the weather’s still good.
It’s been expensive, but we should be able to open at the start of next year.
’ It was more than expensive; it had completely wiped him out, but he was too far along the road to turn back now.
‘Really? And the money stuff is okay?’
He nodded. It was awful to lie to her, but it would take the shine off the weekend to get into all of that now.
‘It’s terrible timing to open in January, weather-wise, but it will mean we can have a soft launch, which is a good thing.
’ It had surprised him how much progress had been made, but there was still a lot to do once the building itself was completed.
‘It’ll take some time to get the kitchens installed, and there’s a lot to do on the interiors before we can get started on decorating, but we’re definitely on schedule.
We’re going to start recruiting for key roles, like head chef and hotel manager, so that they can be involved with the rest of the recruitment.
Anders is coming over next week to help me get started with that. ’
‘I can’t wait to meet him and Becca. Are they going to stay at Ida’s?’
‘Yes, although Anders will be going back and forth to Iceland. He has an amazing manager who runs things when he’s not there, but he doesn’t like to be away for too long, especially over the summer when it’s their busy season.’
‘I get that.’
He wanted to ask when she thought she might visit, but again, he was reluctant to bring up anything that could disrupt things between them too early in the weekend.
‘You haven’t shown me any pictures of the cabin.’
The cabin. Not our cabin anymore.
‘Like I said, I want it to be a surprise.’ What difference did one word make? Our cabin, the cabin…
She grinned up at him. ‘I can’t wait.’
Perhaps he was driving himself mad for no reason?
A slip of the tongue wasn’t a declaration of intent, a subconscious way of Lotta moving away from thinking of the cabin as theirs.
But that, coupled with the fact he’d felt the distance between them over the past couple of weeks, was unnerving.
He was so used to living his life without having to consider someone else, he wondered if that was why he took these things to heart.
Read more into everything than was there.
‘I can’t wait to show you. I think you’ll love it.
’ He’d built a bed frame in the extension and bought a deep memory foam mattress that would make the cosiest bed in the world.
A small part of the wall next to the stove had been chopped out so that its warmth would spread more easily to the bedroom next door.
In the lounge, he had built a vestibule around the front door with space for boots and coats, so that the cabin didn’t instantly freeze the moment the door was opened.
He was so happy with it. It felt like a proper little home. All that was missing was Lotta.
It took half an hour or so to get back to Lotta’s flat. It was on the first floor of a Victorian terraced house in a long residential street, and different to what he’d imagined. So different from Oslo.
‘This is lovely,’ he said, stepping into the lounge which was also the kitchen, and also Lotta’s home office, by the looks of things.
‘It’s small,’ she said, apologetically.
‘No, it’s perfect. Exactly the kind of place I imagined. It’s cosy and there are so many things that make it yours.’
‘Your place is so sleek and tidy.’
‘Soulless.’
‘Luxurious.’
He laughed. ‘We’ll have luxurious again at some point once Becca gets her hands on the farmhouse.’
‘Shall we go out for food?’
‘Sure, I’m happy to do anything you like.’ He hadn’t thought the first thing they would do would be get food and tried not to add it to the our cabin/the cabin situation and come up with something worse.
‘There’s a place near Covent Garden that has street food, a bit like the place in Oslo.’
‘Sounds good.’
They walked back to the Tube station, holding hands, although Mats couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different.
But once they were in the Seven Dials Market sipping on beers while they waited for their food, he relaxed.
He’d been imagining it, looking for signs that something was wrong and latching onto things that meant nothing.
‘Have you thought what you’ll do about marketing?’ Lotta asked him.
‘Not really.’ It was the truth because he hadn’t thought about it beyond hoping she might offer to do it.
She’d be perfect. Just like Becca, who had instinctively known what his vision for the island was before he had to explain, Lotta understood the place.
Understood what he wanted to do with it and he knew she would do an amazing job if he asked her to take him on as a client.
The problem was, even aside from the money, if he asked her to work for him, would she see it as him doing her a favour or worse, as an attempt to get her to commit to a move to Norway?
He didn’t feel they were on solid enough ground right now to risk him getting it wrong and driving her away.
With her career taking off, she might see it as him trying to pull her back, away from the bright lights her future held and towards a quieter existence with him.
They’d agreed to take things a step at a time.
The next step he wanted to suggest was that she visit Loddefjord in a couple of weeks at the same time as Anders and Becca and maybe that would be the time to broach the subject of her taking the island on as a proper project.
Their situation wasn’t that different from the one Anders and Becca were negotiating, and it might give them both a new perspective on how they could make things work.
‘You should probably look into getting something going. It’d be a great way to establish a following to show the progress of the build. Maybe think about getting some professional photos done?’
‘That’s a good idea.’ She hadn’t offered her services. He had to take it as a clear sign she wanted to keep her business and their relationship separate, and who could blame her after what had happened when the two had become mixed up before? He’d look for someone else to help.
He got up to collect their food when the buzzer went off.
It felt good to be in the city, although London had a different vibe to Oslo.
It was much busier, more hurried, the people less patient, but the choice of everything from places to eat, shows to see, museums and monuments to visit, was incredible.
‘This samosa is insane,’ Lotta said.
He nodded, his mouth too full of deliciousness to speak straight away. He tapped his fist against his chest.
‘You need to slow down,’ Lotta said, grinning at him.
‘It’s so good. This is the only place I’m interested in eating at every time I come to London now.’
‘You’ll come again?’ The way she asked told him she’d thought perhaps this was a one-off.
‘Of course. It doesn’t have to be you doing all the running around for us. I know I said it would be difficult to get away, but I also know, after spending more time on the island, that it’s important to leave it sometimes.’
‘Are you worried about becoming a hermit?’ Her eyes glinted.
‘Yes. I think it’s a real possibility,’ he deadpanned. ‘Until there are staff and guests, it’s just me and the builders, and they don’t count me as a builder.’
‘Even though you’ve just built an extension to our cabin?’ She feigned shock.
He laughed, mostly with relief that she’d referred to it as “our cabin”. ‘Even though I’m basically a master carpenter now.’
When they got back to Lotta’s later that evening, they snuggled together on the sofa to watch a movie, but it wasn’t long before the kissing became too big a distraction and they realised they’d lost track of the story.
‘We may as well go to bed,’ Lotta said, taking Mats’ hand and leading him into her bedroom.
Her bed frame was an old-fashioned iron one, high off the ground. There was a patchwork quilt folded across the foot of the bed, and the bed linen was in different neutral shades that made Mats feel relaxed and ready for bed just by looking at it. He made a mental note to mention the idea to Becca.
But this was no time for thinking about sleep. Finally, they were back to a place where they could come together. They were in no hurry as they pulled each other’s clothes off, standing next to the bed, taking each other in.
Mats held Lotta to him; the sensation of her skin against his was mind-blowing after two weeks without her. He ran his hands down the smooth skin of her back, and she nuzzled into his neck, her hair soft against his chest.
‘I’ve missed you so much,’ she breathed, her hands in his hair as he picked her up and laid her on the bed.
It did his heart good to hear that. Being away from her, especially when they hadn’t been in touch regularly, gave him too much time to doubt everything.
He’d asked himself countless times whether they had what it took to last, whether their love could survive these times when they were forced apart by circumstances, by the lives they’d chosen before.
But any doubts or worries he had flitted away now.
The only thing on his mind was how much he loved Lotta.
And making love, physically giving themselves up to each other, using their bodies to show the depth of their love, left Mats in no doubt that the relationship they had was the real thing.
They would always come back to each other.
When he woke later that night, Lotta wasn’t in bed. He pulled on his underwear and left the bedroom in search of her. She was sitting in the corner of the sofa with her laptop. The television was on mute, playing Friends.
‘Hey,’ he said, sitting next to her and kissing her temple. ‘You couldn’t sleep?’
‘I have a pitch to finish for next week. It’s on my mind, so I thought I’d get some of it done.’
‘What’s it for?’ He took a sip from the glass of water he’d left on the coffee table earlier.
‘It’s the Norwegian tourist board. They want a campaign to highlight heritage crafts.’
‘That’s come from your work with the Folk Museum. That’s brilliant!’
Her eyes were shining when she looked at him and nodded. ‘It’s the first word-of-mouth business I’ve had for a long time.’
‘Can I see what you’ve done?’
She showed him her presentation. ‘It’s still rough, but you get the idea.’
‘It’s so impressive, Lotta. Such a clever concept, you’ll win it no question.’
‘Well, you’re biased, but thank you.’ She was beaming with pride in a way he hadn’t seen since the night of the party in Oslo.
‘You should have told me you needed to work this weekend. I don’t mind, there’s plenty I can find to do in London if you want tomorrow to work on this.’
‘Really? I didn’t want to spoil the weekend.’
‘You don’t need to put stuff on hold when I’m around. This is important.’
‘You’re important.’
He pushed her hair back, cupped the back of her head, and kissed her.
‘We’re important,’ he corrected, ‘but we’re ticking along all the time, even when we’re not together.
We don’t need to treat a couple of days together as anything out of the ordinary.
It’s a chance to catch up with each other, but if we have other stuff going on, that’s just life.
And I don’t want you to feel you can’t tell me you need to work. That’s important.’
‘Okay.’ She closed the lid of her laptop and yawned.
‘The boss of a successful marketing agency can’t work through the night. That’s not good for anyone.’
She stood up and laughed. ‘Look at you giving business advice in your underwear.’ She took his hand and hauled him up. ‘Take me back to bed then.’
‘It would be my pleasure.’