Chapter 17 Stained
Verena
I hadn’t slept at all. The command he gave about shoes grinds my nerves and out of sheer petulance, I wasn’t wearing shoes today at all. Ruelle looks at me weirdly as she tries to pull out shoes for me but I turn her down. I wasn’t sure if he had told his trusted family of our plan, even though he said only Esmeray will know, but I keep my mouth shut just in case. She helps me dress in an elegant and simple, dark green and silky slip-dress.
“So, why are you not wearing anything on your feet?” She asks, brows furrow in confusion.
I smile at her. “Should I? I mean I see the staff of the palace constantly cleaning the floors, so they should be safe enough, right?” I ask her. “Plus, I simply hate shoes.” She laughs with me as we make our way toward the dining room for breakfast. I decide to join them this time.
“Verena, you’re joining us.” The former queen greets me. Everyone looks up, gauging my presence. I smile brightly at them, my head held high and politely wave. Even though I hadn’t slept, I still feel fresh and more awake than I had been in a long time. Something about last night made me feel more alive than I ever had before.
“Good morning, Your Majesties and Hadeon. Did everyone sleep well?” They exchange looks with one another. The king wasn’t here yet. Even Ruelle was looking at me like I had grown two heads overnight with my overly joyous tone.
“I did, thank you.” The king’s mother says to me, smiling softly, “But, you do not have to call me that. It’s so formal. Call me Calanthe, please.” She smiles widely at me, something in her is different, too. She doesn’t seem as tense today.
I nod before looking at everyone else, waiting for an answer, as I sit down. “My sleep was fine, thank you, Verena,” Hadeon speaks, looking eager to speak with me. I know he broke my trust but did I really want to spend more time angry at the only person who has ever felt like family to me?
Now, everyone looks to Esmeray for an answer.
“I had a dream where we had a pet buffalo who spoke to me. It was very intriguing.” She says, not meeting anyone’s gaze as she brings her cup of juice to her lips. “How was your sleep, Verena?” She asks me, finally looking up.
“Enlightening.” She hums in. I can feel Hadeon’s gaze upon me but I don’t meet his eyes.
As I finally settle into my seat, I can’t help but wonder when the food will arrive. Just then, Eryx enters the room with a serious expression on his face, mirroring the rest of his family. He signals to the kitchen staff to start bringing in the meals. My mouth waters as I watch plates stacked with various meats, cheeses, breads, fruits, and juices placed on the table. A bottle of sparkling wine is set between Esmeray and Calanthe, who mix it with their fruit juices. The sight makes me crave some myself, but I don’t dare ask for any.
Hands stack food onto plates and when I go to reach for some fruit, Esmeray speaks up. “Add meat to that plate, Ren. We’re training today.” Hadeon’s head swipes from her to Eryx, curiosity on his face. I didn’t know her and I were close enough for nicknames but a sense of friendliness overcomes me.
“Why?” Hadeon asks. She looks at him with a brow raised.
“I know you are second in command, Hadeon, but while you’ve been gone, I have been running things. So I’ll be training her for combat. Please remember we are on the brink of war.” Esmeray’s tone shows no mercy or room for questions about her ability or judgment. “Eryx and I agreed that having her continue training would be best.” I nod in agreement, even though I am not a part of this conversation.
“I just think it’s too soon.” He pushes.
“Good thing it’s not your call then, isn’t it?” She drops her fork onto her plate, the ricocheting ring bouncing off the walls. “Where is this coming from?” Their eyes meet and neither looks away or blinks.
“Children! Please, let’s not do this. It’s morning and we all have a busy day today.” Calanthe tries. Neither look away from each other yet, and Eryx stares at his friend in question as I sit there quietly next to the youngest royal sibling.
Ruelle’s sweet scent lingers near me as she leans over to whisper in my ear, “They’ve been like this since we were children— always at each other’s throats and constantly questioning the other. Esmeray wanted that position so bad but Hadeon and her fought for it and he won in the end so while she missed his challenging presence, she enjoyed his position while he was gone.” She lets out a light laugh.
“Verena, do you mind training with Esmeray? Do you think it will benefit you?” Hadeon questions me, breaking their eye contact, “Because you do not have to. You do not need to learn any more than I have taught you. The danger of Dryston is no more while you’re here.” I’m shocked at his words. He knows he cannot promise that.
I stare at him, meeting his pleading eyes, and for whatever reason, I almost want to say no to training. I should trust him, right? I’ve known him longer than anyone else here. We have been friends for the past five years. But, his ego could be getting in the way of his judgment. The constant battle between him and Esmeray.
I look at Esmeray, Calanthe, and Ruelle, all waiting for an answer. Ruelle is sweet, and comforting. Esmeray looks as if she wants to stab Hadeon with the butter knife in her fist and Calanthe looks as if she’s trying to understand me just by watching. Anxiety wracks my nerves, the all-to-familiar feeling of being a pushover filters through me. I want to say no, not be a burden to anyone and just use what I already know. But why does it feel like it won’t be enough? I’ve read about the past wars and what they entail to an extent but without experiencing it, it is hard to know what I’ll be getting in to.
I lift my indigo gaze up to my left, meeting dark brown eyes and suddenly I pause. My breath catches in my throat as I read him as if he is open to just me. Light flickers within them. I’d assume they would be impatient, irritated eyes that would be piercing my soul to obey and say yes. And yet, somehow, I know that if I said I don’t want to train, he will support my decision without judgment.
My eyes stay on his as I speak, “I want to train with Esmeray.” There’s a gleam of something similar to pride in his irises as he breaks our contact, looking back down at his food to continue eating. There is a pleased look on Esmeray’s face as she gleams at me and while Ruelle and Calanthe have nothing to say, negative or positive, Eryx is calm as he eats. Hadeon glares at the military general next to him and suddenly I feel bad for choosing her over him.
* * *
“I want to see where you left off with Hadeon so we’ll start slow today before we get into the good stuff,” Esmeray warns me, the excitement on her face makes me smile back. I always enjoyed training, since it helps me release any frustrations. I know this trainer won’t go easy on me and I am happy about it.
“I can’t wait,” I tell her, making her smile grow more. “We did the basics. Should I grab a staff? We sometimes used them but we also used fake swords.”
She takes a moment to think and looks at Hadeon as he walks into the room to watch, I assume, he leans against the wall adjacent from us. “Let’s start with hand-to-hand. I want to see how far you got with him babying you like he used to do with Ruelle.” She smirks at his scoff but otherwise, he remains silent, crossing his arms over his chest.
I stance myself across from her on the mat, the same one I’ve memorized for 5 years with Hadeon. I see her eyes following each and every movement I make— assessing me. The thing I love most is that I don’t feel like she’s judging me in a negative way. She is simply trying to help me and a warm feeling settles over me.
With a graceful flick of her hand, she signals for me to begin. I take a step forward, my muscles tense and ready to attack. But as I move, I can sense that she is not trying to defeat me just yet. No, she wants to test my skills, to see what I am capable of. And in order to do so, she must refrain from fighting back.
I throw a punch, my training kicking in as if it were second nature. Every movement is calculated and precise, each strike with purpose and intention. After what feels like hours, she finally calls a halt to the session. My body is drenched in sweat and my heart is pounding, but I feel stronger and more confident in my abilities than ever.
“Okay, not bad. He did better than I gave him credit for. But I can easily prove that it won’t get you far against our soldiers at least. Ruelle knows more, no offense, and she doesn’t even like training. But you? You will be fun to train because you want it, I can see it.” She gleams excitedly.
“She can hold her own, Esmeray. You just want to prove me wrong. If you actually fight her, she will hold her own.” She quirks a brow at Hadeon, who is supposed to be silent.
She comes at me in surprise and I manage to fight back in defense. But she’s going harder, faster, way more than Hadeon ever gave which almost makes me mad at him. I never wanted him to baby me.
Her footwork is impeccable. I maintain her speed and strength, showcasing just how much I trained but I knew I had more to learn. Then she swipes her foot out as I block her fist again and she takes me to the floor. I gasp from the wind being knocked out of me, unharmed though, and before she can help me up amicably, Hadeon rushes over. I am out of breath and my heart beats so hard I hear it in my ear drums.
“Gods, Esmeray! What is wrong with you? She’s not some skilled warrior. Are you okay, Verena?” He asks, rushed. I look at him as if he offended me and he doesn’t even notice.
“I’m fine.” I grit out, shoving his hands away. Off to the side of him, I watch as Eryx turns from the open doorway to walk off, obviously seeing what occurred. A sense of disappointment flares within me.
“I’m taking you to the infirmary.” I go to deny it but Esmeray beats me to it.
“That, right there, Hadeon? That will get her killed quicker than her training. You baby her for what? She is a grown woman and she did fine. It was more than I thought she’d know.” She looks at me, “I’ll see you tomorrow for our first official day of training, Ren.” She calls me by the nickname she gave me. I smile, nodding and I take in her words about Hadeon. She had a point but he was just trying to help, right?
I will admit that it feels good, training with someone who wasn’t trying to baby me like he does. I’ve noticed throughout the years, I just hoped that he’d get over it. He acts as if I am as fragile as a flower. Maybe I am.
Maybe I am way in over my head.
* * *
Ruelle and I sit in the library, reading silently with each other when another person walks in holding a bouquet of flowers.
They walk straight over to us and I assume he’s going to gift them to Ruelle but he stops right in front me of. “From the king, lady Verena.” He speaks loudly and it gathers the attention of everyone else in this surprisingly busy library.
A blush covers my face and neck, making my skin warm as I reach for them. “Thank you.” The words come out ever-so-quietly I’m not even sure he heard them. I look at Ruelle, who looks just as shocked.
Another fae walks in, this time a female, with another bouquet of flowers, followed by four more fae.
I am beet red by the end and Ruelle calls someone to take them to my room but before they can grab the group of flowers in my hands, I snatch one of them so I can at least have something to prove I didn’t just dream this.
“Eryx must fancy you,” Ruelle speaks first, smiling wide. “I haven’t seen him fancy anyone since-” She stops herself and before I can ask she fixes her words, “In a long time.” I leave it, still flabbergasted at the act.
I know we said he’d have to start showing interest in me to sell the engagement but this was not what I expected. Each bouquet was a different breed of flower I hadn’t seen in Zorya. I love that they aren’t common either, I had seen them in one of the books I’ve read to learn about this country. The royal garden grows them but otherwise, they grow randomly and rarely across this side of the continent.
“You have some dust in your hair,” Ruelle laughs softly before trying to brush it out of my roots.
My eyes snap to hers as I move away, “Oh, that’s okay. I’ll wash it out later.” How could I have forgotten? “Can I bring some ink to my room?” I ask her, trying to play it off.
“Of course! Just ask the librarian for some and she’ll give you as much as you need.” I nod, smiling before continuing to read the books.
As the day flew by, I realize that I will need to tend to my appearance after everyone retires to their rooms for the night. Leaving the library, I approach the woman at the small desk and request some ink. She hands me a decent-size bottle, perfect for my needs.
Unlike other days, Ruelle did not accompany me to my room. After days of exploring, I had memorized all the well-traveled routes. For a moment, I enjoy the solitary journey.
Once inside my room, I close the door behind me and waste no time in getting ready. My black leather gloves protect my hands from any potential stains as I handle the ink. Placing the bottle on the dresser, I focus on removing the cork top when a sudden knock on my door makes me jump in surprise.
In that split second of distraction, the bottle slips from my grip and shatters on the ground with a loud crash. My heart races as an involuntary yelp escapes my lips as black ink splatters.
Before I can even react, Eryx flung open the door and rushes inside, his expression full of concern. “Are you okay? What happened?” he asks quickly, scanning both me and the scattered glass on the floor.
“I’m fine. I-I just dropped some ink.” I tell him.
“Why do you have your training gloves on?” He sends me another question.
I scoff, “What is with all the questions? I don’t want to stain my fingers and I went to open it but the cork got stuck and then I dropped the glass when your knock frightened me.” I rush out, trying to calm my breathing from his sudden entrance as I blame him for me dropping it. My heart is racing, but honestly, it’s not from the scare, it’s from getting caught.
I’m not entirely sure why I have to dye my hair. I was just told by my mother ever since I was a young girl to do it or I’d be in danger.
Thinking about that now seems redundant since I’m already in danger. Even with my dark hair, the blue streak still gave me away, making Eryx and Hadeon think I was a part of something bigger than us.
Out of reflex, now worried he’ll see right through me, I start playing with the strands, trying to push back the front parts of my hair from my face, taking steps back as he bends to pick up the pieces of broken glass.
His eyes immediately zero in on the motion, scanning my hair with intense curiosity. I feel a sense of panic rise within me as I realize there’s a streak of spilled ink from my gloves running through my locks. The confusion in his eyes is evident as they flicker between my hair and my face, especially as I attempt to move the hair away from my eyes, only smudging more ink onto my forehead. The wetness of the ink seeps into my skin and I can’t help but feel self-conscious under his scrutiny.
Without hesitation, he rises from his position on the floor and forgets about the broken shards of glass beneath him as he slowly makes his way over to me. I try to back away, matching his pace, but he moves faster than I expect. Before I know it, my back hits the desk behind me and I’m left with no room to escape. He stands before me, towering over me with an intimidating aura .
My heart races, unsure if it’s due to his close proximity or the fact that he seems to be reading right through me. Our eyes meet, his deep brown orbs like a warm autumn night trying to unravel all of my secrets. His hand reaches up at a leisurely pace, gripping a section of my hair where the new ink has been smeared into.
“What is this? Why is the root of your hair lighter than the rest?” He inquires, his eyes moving from mine to the strands. Something burns in his gaze and I can’t tell why he cares so much.
Do I lie? We’re supposed to trust each other. Maybe he’ll have an answer as to why it’s different. While black hair isn’t rare, white is. White hair hasn’t been seen on a native to this continent in hundreds of years. I’d know, I read it in a history book. Not to mention the color that never fades, dyes, or changes except in length.
It’s as if he can see the turmoil turning in my head, going around faster than light.
His eyes trail back to mine, “Verena,” It’s the way he says my name, soft but firm. Like he wants the answers but as king he needs them.
I allow my eyes to move, from his eyes to his lips. They’re pink and soft. My eyes move down to his chiseled jawline before continuing down to his strong chest.
“Verena.” My eyes flick back up his brown eyes now black with emotion, “Tell me. I cannot risk my country, and my people, without knowing everything. We’re supposed to trust each other.” There’s the king in him.
“I…” I take a breath, hoping he can’t hear my heart. “I don’t know.” I take in a deep breath as he steps back, still watching and waiting. “For as long as I can remember, my mother was dying my hair. Honestly, my father and her never got along and I remember her telling me how much she hated covering up this piece of me but that it was for my safety and that if anyone found out about it, I’d be in more danger than anything or anyone. So, even after she passed away, I’ve stained it with ink. I haven’t seen the true white color ever. But, no matter how many times I try to stain or dye the blue, it won’t take.” I tell him the truth, not seeing any other way. He steps closer again, running his fingers into my hair and grabbing strands to feel .
“No more.” He says, throwing me off guard. His eyes darken as he looks at my hair. “You will no longer dye it, got it? As long as you’re with my family and I, you’re safe. You’re training with Esme and you will continue to do so, especially now. We can’t get our revenge if you’re dead.” I nod at him, watching as the strand falls from his fingers and he steps back. “No more lies. I’ll see you at breakfast, Verena.” He exits, just like that, leaving me breathless and confused.