Chapter 11
Dreu
Ipulled up to Jatavia’s location and cut the engine.
For a second, I rested my hands on the steering wheel and weighed my options.
I could pick Jatavia up from whoever house this was and take her back to her apartment where I would spend the night.
Or I could drive her ass back to Cali with me and get some better-quality time with her.
I made a mental note before hopping out of the car to ask her ass about work before I just up and took her on a five-hour drive away from home. I had to have consideration for her although I knew she didn’t need the type of job she was working in the first place with me back in the picture.
I stepped out of my truck, hoodie zipped up blocking the cold night air.
Soon as I got to the door, I called her number not wanting to knock on the door since it was one in the morning.
Jatavia didn’t answer, and I didn’t know who the hell house I had pulled up to for her.
I called her ass back-to-back until she answered sounding groggy.
“Dreu?” She yawned into the phone.
I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds and smiled big as hell. To any body on the outside trying to get a clear view of the inside…I probably looked crazy. I didn’t give a damn though; Jatavia was worth every mile and all the gas I burned to get here doing over a hundred on the freeway.
“In the flesh baby, put on your shoes and let’s go, Pancakes.” I hung up.
I was so thirsty, I placed my ear against the door to hear light movement on the other side of the door.
Seconds later, the lock clicked followed by the door cracking open.
Jatavia stood at the door barefoot. Her eyes were low and red; her pressed hair was all over her hair.
She looked confused and beautiful all in one to me.
She had on a black cotton gown that stopped mid-juicy thighs.
“What are you doing here?” She whispered lowly.
I stepped up to her until I was able to slide my hand around her waist and bring her ass close. I smelled the wine on her breath soon as I leaned down and kissed her soft lips.
“I told you I missed you; you told me to prove that shit then dropped your location.” I told her pecking the corner of her lip.
I wanted to taste more of her, so I glided my tongue over her bottom lip then sucked it into my mouth.
I didn’t need to tell her that I was getting ready to have an interview for a podcast that paid me well to appear for an hour before she dropped her location.
I was able to get them to agree to do my interview tomorrow evening instead of tonight.
That didn’t mean that I wouldn’t have to hear Rina’s mouth about taking shit more seriously.
For Jatavia, it was worth leaving that damn interview to get to her.
“You really came, Dreu.” She rubbed her eyes.
“I did, Ma.” I reached up, grabbed the hem of my hoodie and pulled it over my head. The night air hit my skin, but I didn’t give a damn. I held my hoodie out to her.
“Put this on.” I instructed.
She hesitated; I could tell she wanted to protest but thought against it.
She placed it over her head; it fit her snug as hell and stopped underneath her breasts since they were too big to allow the hoodie to cover her stomach.
I grabbed Tavia’s hand and told her to lock the bottom lock.
She turned, walked further into the house as I stood at the door waiting.
Jatavia emerged with her shoes on, and her purse slung over her shoulder. She locked the bottom lock, grabbed my hand and let me lead the way to my truck. I wasted no time pulling away from whoever house I got her from.
“Where we going, Dreu?” She asked softly.
“You got work tomorrow?” I glanced over at her.
“No, I don’t.” She rested her head against the head rest.
“Good, we headed to the freeway then. We going back to Cali.” I told her.
“You crazy as hell.” She laughed nervously.
“I know, but I’m serious as hell. I want to really spend some time with you. I’ll even pay you to decorate my house to put me in the holiday spirit.” I chuckled.
“You don’t got to pay me when I’ll be using your money to purchase all the stuff. This will be good; I can have you take me over to the projects in a couple of days to go surprise my mom and dad with a visit.” She stifled another yawn.
“Damn, that weed my cousin had was strong as hell…I still feel high.” She giggled out softly.
I chuckled as I analyzed her words. She said ‘In a couple of days’ which to me meant, she planned on staying longer, which automatically had me already pre-planning all of the things that I wanted to do with and for her.
“How long you plan on staying in Cali with me, Tavia?” I asked lowly.
“I don’t know, I kind of miss the hell out of Cali. I quit my job because they don’t give a damn about my health and when I’m in pain.” She glanced out of the window.
“Health?” I raised a brow.
“Yes, I had severe cramps and couldn’t focus, I tried to take the rest of the day off and my boss said no.”
I frowned. Jobs really didn’t give a damn about their employees at all. Especially the good employees that worked their asses off to prove to the company that they were indeed a good asset.
“Oh, you on your sickness?” I reached over and gripped her lower stomach then rubbed it.
Jatavia blushed then placed her hand on top of mine.
I didn’t want to comment much about her quitting her job.
I was happy she pulled a bold move and did that shit before I asked her to quit it in the near future.
Jatavia was too good for a call center that overworked and underpaid her anyway.
The road that I was trying to get her on was dream land.
Whatever she dreamed about and told me about in the past, I was ready to make it happen for her.
“You still call it that?” her voice broke through my thoughts.
“I do…” My words trailed off as I thought about my mom randomly.
She always called her time of the month a sickness when she got it. To be honest that shit sounded better than calling it a period.
“You know I got lots of gloves at my house. If the cramps get too bad, I can put on a plastic glove…strum that swollen clit and stroke your G-spot with the pad of my finger until you cum all over that glove. It’ll help with the cramps.” I licked my lips.
“I taught you that, I wonder if you’ve been using that technique on other bitches.” She said with attitude all in her tone.
“Hell nah, that shit would disgust me with them. It’s different with you. I know how you get when you cramping.” I tried to reassure her.
“How do I get, Dreu?”
“Horny and complicated as fuck. Attitude be on ten, but I’m gone still rock with your mean ass. If you decide to be with me like on a serious tip. First thing I’m going to recommend for you, Jatavia, is therapy.” I told her, not giving a damn how she would take it.
She stiffened before I removed my hand from her stomach to sped up and jumped in the carpool lane. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her shift then curl her legs up in the seat. I grabbed my blunt and lighter from my cup holder then cracked both of our windows.
“I don’t need no therapy, Dreu.” She said so low, I hardly heard her protest.
“You do need it; you be hot and cold sometimes. It don’t make me love you no less.
I just think you need a little guidance regulating your feelings.
It wouldn’t be fair if it was the other way around.
If I had some deep shit like battling with depression on and off…
then it ends up falling all on you when I’m not in the mood.
You got to tell yourself what it is, and what it’s not gonna be.
I can add to your happiness and feeling secure, but I don’t control it.
” I reached over and squeezed the top of her thigh.
“I know,” She started then looked out the window sadly.
“I hate when I go into those dark moods…where everything doesn’t feel right.
Some days I’m okay. I laugh, function, and show up for whatever I feel it’s worth.
Then other days it’s like my brain turns against me.
It alters how I think. How I see myself and interpret everything.
I hate when I cry and don’t even know why I’m crying because I’m just so fucking sad. ” She continued.
I glanced over and saw her fingers twist the sleeve of my hoodie. My grip on the steering wheel tightened as I gazed at the road ahead of us. If I wasn’t navigating this truck, I’d pull her in my arms and hold her until she felt a hundred percent better.
“I hate questioning my worth Dreu. It makes me feel weak as hell. When I’m low, I feel like I’m too much and not enough at the same time. Like I’m falling behind in life even when I’m doing everything I can to stay above water.” Her voice cracked a little.
“Tavia—”
“I have deep feelings for you Dreu…those feelings and love… none of it never left me. It took all of my strength to cut you off cold turkey the way that I did…at the time I knew it was the right thing to do even though I didn’t want to do it…I still don’t regret doing it either,” she said lowly.
“You fine as hell, paid… You have this upbeat personality that’s addicting.
It makes me want to be around you all the time and just live in your damn skin.
The selfish side of me wants to say fuck all the red flags and just run off into the sunset with you despite my own issues that I’m battling with…
then there’s the stubborn side of me that just don’t feel comfortable enough to trust you again.
I don’t want to look like the desperate woman in this just because of who you are and what you bring to the table when I don’t bring anything right now.
I don’t want to make you responsible for my happiness either.
You shouldn’t have to suffer when I’m not all the way there.
I go weeks with ignoring my own parents and favorite cousin. I get lazy and—”
“That voice in your head…” I cut her rambling off and exhaled the smoke that I kept trapped in my lungs while she talked. “That shit ain’t you, Pancakes. That don’t be nothing but depression talking. It lies to you, ma.” I murmured.
“I know it does, but when it hits…it feels real.” She sniffed then backhanded her eyes.
“I don’t want you fighting it alone, all I’m suggesting is that you get some help.
It’s nothing wrong with that. Since you not working, I want you to try it out just to see how you like it.
I’m going to support you a thousand percent, but you need a real therapist that’s trained to help you unpack that shit instead of just surviving it. ”
“I don’t want you thinking that I’m broken.” She whispered the words out unsure.
“I don’t.” I uttered.
I could feel her eyes studying the side of my face to search for any doubt. I glanced over at her and winked.
“You be battling that shit alone, denying everybody that cares for you and want to help. I’m not trying to fix or control you.
I just want you to have the proper tools and space.
Sometimes it’s fine to not feel okay for everybody else.
I relate to that shit for real. I got a whole entourage of people always in a nigga face…
Some days I just be wanting to be away from all of them.
My homie Iceman is the only one that understands that shit.
But even now, our friendship might change a little since I’m not about to be on the same played shit with him. ” I openly admitted.
I ran through enough hoes, now that Jatavia was back in my life.
I’d never let her go, never got her off my mind and out of my system to begin with.
Shit was smooth with her; I wanted her back then and wanted her now.
She was the woman that I could be myself with, she understood me to the fullest. Companionship is what I cherished first with her.
How we could have deep conversations, talk like long lost best friends without even casting judgement.
Nobody compared to my Tavia… flaws and all.
“Hmm, you and Iceman still tight, I see.” She stated sarcastically.
“That’s my nigga and can’t no other nigga make a grown man do anything that he don’t want to do unless he a bitch ass follow the leader type of nigga. Iceman will understand. You my vibe, ma. I ain’t gone fuck shit up this time around.” I reassured her.
“Suppose we do get back together. There’s women that—”
“You can either be like Keyshia Ka’oir and have your ass at every fuckin’ show, club, and interview like you my handler how she be doing that nigga Gucci Mane…
or you can trust and believe me when I say can’t no groupie hoe make me come up off you.
It’s time for you to start making your own dreams come true.
I don’t want you doing that shit while trying to worry about what I got going on.
You gone see.” I blew out more smoke then placed my half of blunt in the ashtray.
“Nobody gone disrespect you, I mean that shit. Nobody coming in between what we got. We talked about a future before together, I gave you a ring and still got that shit for when the time is right. Let’s just take shit slow, we don’t got to put no labels on shit with us.
I know how your anxiety gets. Just give everything a fair chance…
Me, and therapy included.” I said firmly.
She let out a shaky breath, I glanced over at her and she nodded once.
“Okay, I’ll try.” She placed her hand on top of mine.
Something loosened in my chest; I squeezed the top of her thick thigh and smiled like a kid in the candy store.
“That’s all a nigga was asking for in the first place, Pancakes. Damn!” I shook my head, making her laugh.
“Connect your phone to the blue tooth so we can do some karaoke in this bitch. I’m tryna hear Fantasia, ‘When I See You’ so I can confess my love to you.” I chuckled as she talked her own shit while laughing at my crazy ass.