Drift (Don’t… #8)

Chapter 16 MAD WORLD

Stood in the Oval and not having slept yet, Gray rubbed a hand over his face before focusing on his whiteboard as the sound of the printing drifted in behind him. He’d left Jack in bed with Jan when he’d gotten back, not wanting to disturb the peace Jan found. Eventually, Jack had needed to head off to work, leaving Gray no time to ease into a discussion over Cutter let alone Jude. So with Gray working profiling in the Oval, Ray’s brief check on Jan an hour later found him working as well, mostly covering Monique’s workload. Jan hadn’t wanted to stay off work, but with Shaun needing to rule out links between Chris’s accident and Jason’s murder, he hadn’t been given much choice, more so from Gray. That wasn’t entirely for Jan’s well-being. If anything was said about Chris bullying Monique and Jan, Gray wanted to make sure there was no evidence on the onboard camera that his own Merc had been there after the crash. White noise over Shaun thinking Gray had been involved with the accident he wouldn’t entertain. Gray had left Ray reviewing that footage now he’d gotten it from the MC.

Jan’s quiet as the morning passed, more his side glances his way when he’d brought Gray a coffee in started to question if Gray had put Chris in hospital, but he didn’t come out and say it. He would, but everything took time with Jan, so Gray gave him the space.

Gray had used the uneasy quiet to pay a visit to the new murder scenes in Birmingham and closer to home. The rest of the afternoon had seen him chasing any similar murders as he worked from the Oval, ultimately leaving him standing in front of his whiteboard, profiling.

He needed to talk Jude to Jack tonight, but whilst Jack was at work, he had to give Jan headspace to deal with Monique. He knew Jack would want good headspace to be there for Jan too. So after taking a sip of his third coffee, he picked up Rita’s report.

There it was in black and white.

Negative result on a test for drugs on the thorn and stones. Negative DNA trace from the emesis sample. The DNA was explainable: the potential witness had no criminal history to link him to other crimes, either that or he had and had yet to be pulled in for any. But added to the acid-burning away of the fingertips? That was specialist, with Rita being right it was an old technique used by spies to burn away identity when they needed anonymity in the field.

Gray added that to the board after he put the files and coffee on the table, then he wrote down a single digit number on the whiteboard.

9

Another six similar murders well into Scottish borders had occurred over the past eight months with the same MO: murder/suicides, totalling nine with those done at the weekend. He added the locations clockwise around the number, starting with the oldest first, before he added family names and MOs.

Postmortem reports from the historical six killings noted marks on their backs over bone marrow extraction. The only difference here was that they’d been taken before death and not marked as unusual on the reports because of donor status with the victims. But the similarities were there, all cocooned in a creatively dark murder scene, as if someone pushed for the most extreme murder method and didn’t really care if touch on the body was found. Some postmortems mentioned swelling on the brain, but not all.

Gray added the term “Marks” on the board, then—

The Watchers. Tag teams x 3 at least.

No sexual connotation.

He didn’t get a sense of sexual drive here, not from the killer’s end, just a curiosity of… watching the extreme scene play out and then taking what they came for . But it was private watching as even Swansea Council’s CCTV of the park had drawn a blank on who these watchers were, and that mirrored the streets of the Soames and Carlton’s. Because those three murders had taken place over one weekend, spread over the UK, it definitely suggested more than one team at work. But whoever was doing these killings, they knew how to stay out of the limelight. Which suggested a good knowledge at street level, technology, and getting around security. But there was a small connection beyond the bone marrow, and that was how there was always access to a park close by.

He noted the park locations down from 1 to 9.

The printer finished its run, and Gray went over and took the photos before adding two of each to the whiteboard: an image of the crime-scene location, then the spouse, parent, or child who had been turned into a killer.

Mrs Carlton.

He looked at the mother who had killed her two daughters and husband that Thorn had given him access to. His search into her background uncovered Mrs Carlton spent time on tour in the army, so a lot of time away from both her husband and kids, a lot of time away to worry over losing what she had at home. There was also treatment for PTSD in the mix. A look into Mr Carlton’s private life saw he hadn’t cheated, but it hadn’t mattered: he was dead because of it. That echoed Tucker and his pesticide chemicals, the Soames boy and his vegan preference and being forced, in his mind, to eat meat, so he’d fed that meat back into the family system.

All three also had accompanying pinpricks. Jason and Macky on their fingers, and Mrs Carlson her elbow, as if she’d knocked into something. With some of the other victims, he’d never know because they’d been cremated.

Gray added another note:

Disorders and medication : 1-9

Each coerced killer had at least one disorder. ADHD: 8, 1, PTSD: 7, conduct disorder: 2, 3, 4 and aggression and anxiety 5, 6, 9. All nine on medication. He listed them down, then added something else.

He stood back for a moment, taking it all in, then checked the dates again.

Yeah, these were pack killers, a whole network of, which meant years of radicalisation and training, with a main mark or marks arranging it all, with someone in the medical field also feeding personal data over disorders.

The question was why. Why victims with disorders? Potentially open to a quicker reaction? More aggressive?

He added Cerebral edema, 6-9.

Postmortems on five of the victims didn’t mention swelling on the brain, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there, just that the rule of suicide hadn’t warranted exploration of the brain tissue.

Zero evidence of drugs. 1-9

Like the Thorn sample, the toxicology reports on the previous five victims mentioned no drugs. Gray still waited on the official reports for the last three.

Either no drugs really had been used and medication had simply been tampered with, or whatever hit their systems was burned out without a trace.

The medical link ran a blank too. None of the disorder sufferers were treated in the same areas let alone under the same consultants. So where conditions brought them together, treatment and consultancy set them apart.

Gray shook his head.

Didn’t matter which way the evidence suggested, gut instinct called a poison of some sort in the extreme ways in which these people had died. Someone played on fears. Fed them. And no one was left alive to talk about it.

All except one potential witness.

Gray underlined Witness on the whiteboard.

0 fingerprints from the piping and stones. 0 DNA from emesis.

Fingertips acid-burned away.

Curious…. He linked that to how no DNA or fingerprints had been found at any of the crime scenes from the main marks as well.

Did they have a whole underground system here at play who burned their fingertips away?

Christ. Every main player here was a goddamn ghost.

No mention of music being played had come from any of the scenes except for the Bishop’s report, either. But if they were working in more than one pack, then most MOs would differ just slightly, along with a taste for music or not. And it still wasn’t clear why Jason had been singing “Every Breath You Take” by The Police in particular.

With the six remaining murders, rechecking detail took time. But with taking three families over the weekend, these killers were either upping their need for bone marrow or visibility. Gray had a feeling it was the latter. These pack killers were organised, knew what they were doing, and damn comfortable with doing it. So the change now was purely in pace, with victims who would get them noticed.

So why? Why these victims in particular? Who were they after? All victims were spread far and wide across the UK with no link beyond disorders and living next to parks and—

Oh…. Gray wrote something down.

Testing location reaction?

Was something big in the pipeline? All on the back of a drug that came with no trace?

Gray stilled.

Shit. The locations.

He wrote four words on the board.

Nation-wide biological warfare.

That changed everything, and he tugged out his phone before a code went through to Thorn. The warning was given to increase the UK’s threat level from the top down over domestic terrorism that crossed counties and borders into Scotland and Wales. The second called for more specialist involvement from the UK Health Security Agency on testing of the victims. No drug itself had to be present for the call to upgrade security because they had bodies and an MO already that marked the potential escalating threat, but the potential for this being biological warfare across the UK had to be known at ground level. He sent the same codes through to both director-generals at MI5 and 6. His father in MI6 was the first to respond, but then Gray expected no less off Cal.

Biological? National level with an untraceable drug? Symptoms?

Gray listed them down, with murder/suicide being the main driving variant.

Seriously. Evidence?

Gray stilled his touch on his phone for a moment. Classified, he typed eventually.

It fell quiet Cal’s end, but then Gray had just let him know that if information was classified even with him, then this was culler business, no one else’s.

No more communication came, and he sent a last text to Shaun Brennan, asking for MET security around Parliament and the Palace to be increased due to an upgraded threat level. He also asked that beat police be on the alert for dangerous behaviour changes to civvies.

It was all just precaution at this stage, but his primary focus would be the Monarchy no matter how small the political threat over the Soames case. With the threat level increased, they’d be taking an unscheduled break come tomorrow, location unknown.

Standard protocol with any upgrade of threat level.

Slipping his phone away, he stared at the board for a moment. Under Marks, he wrote Doctor .

Patient information was being extorted, but if this mark was a Doctor, they’d know how to request information.

This was where he really needed Simon to run his checks. He’d know how to search the dark web. He was back tomorrow, and Gray wanted him on this, but Light’s no-go area on Simon working with the cullers was a line he couldn’t break.

And as for crossing lines…?

Gray set his jaw tensing as thoughts on Thorn crept in, and he tugged his phone back out a moment later.

“Boss?” Ray sounded distracted.

“I need housecleaning done at two sites.” Thorn had made it clear he knew of Gray’s one… playroom, so it was obvious he’d know about his other. He sent Ray the coordinates. “Prioritise removal of furniture and wood polish.”

Wood polish… Gray’s own cleanup chemicals. Over the years, bodies had been disposed of with a super-heated lye mixture that reduced skin and tissue to pulp in a few hours, leaving the bones brittle and easy to grind down. The rest was scattered to the wind as and when needed. Lye, or sodium hydroxide, was also easy to obtain off the shelf, and it only needed water for the mix. It was how roadkill was broken down, and it also offered the most effective breakdown for human remains as well. Unlike hydrofluoric acid, it also didn’t kill the user. DNA he didn’t leave on scene, and it didn’t take a complex antiDNA cleaning product to do it: biological washing powder and knowing how to clean in the first place worked wonders. But the mine’s needed to be swept clean in case, with the order for them to be filled in as soon as possible.

“I’m on it in a few hours, mostly because you called me before I could call you.”

Gray turned his ear. “You found something on Chris’s onboard camera?” It’s what Gray had left him working on.

A rough sigh came over the line. “Yeah. And you’re really not gonna like this, boss.”

A video came through, and Gray kept the call on loudspeaker as he opened up what had been sent.

“The onboard camera from the crash had been tampered with, too professionally for my skill,” mumbled Ray. “So I gave Simon permission to use his Let me In hacks and share my computer from Egypt. He managed to repair what I couldn’t.”

Gray pressed play.

Chris’s headlights lit up the darkness of the B road, the shadow of the old oak in the distance. Then a streak of headlight off to the right from the T-junction saw Chris’s bonnet shift violently to the right as well to avoid the dark shadow of a second car. The impact of the tree was brutal, sending a briefcase from the back smashing into the window just before the air bag and window screen burst open.

Gray paused the footage, then scrolled back a few seconds. The reflection off the second car’s licence plate was too bright, almost as if a luminescent had been used to blind it to cameras. This technique was subtle, but sneaking more and more onto British roads lately, all in order to blind CCTV cameras to those who wanted to keep life in the fast lane.

Tightening his jaw, Gray scrolled forward to the time marker Ray had given.

As the radiator leaked steam, the angle of the camera lay tilted on the bonnet. As it did, a pair of Doc Marten work boots came into view, the left carrying a deep scuff into the steel toecap….

Gray wiped a hand over his mouth.

“Fucking seriously?”

Jan glanced to the Oval as he passed, in many ways grateful for the sound proofing and how it allowed him to almost creep on by. Christ, he felt stupid. He hadn’t meant to creep past Gray, but he needed to go and see Monique, just make sure she was Okay. A call wouldn’t ever suffice there, not when it came to her losing her brother. Ray was busy, locked in his obs room with a note Jan’s way not to disturb unless it was an emergency, and, well, he couldn’t be blamed for not telling Ray he was heading out if he’d been told to give him a wide berth anyway… right?

Jan winced. Fuck, he felt really stupid creeping around like this. But Jack was due back for evening dinner, and, well… he was easier to bribe than Gray ever would be when it came to legging it out of the window, if only for an hour or two.

Jack’s Mercedes pulled in as he made it outside, and Jan breathed a heavy sigh of relief, then quickly shut the door and headed over.

“Hey.” Jack got out and kissed at his cheek as Jan came around to the driver’s side. “Missed me that much, huh, soft lad?” He grinned. “You know you could have come out all nakedlike, really welcomed me home.”

“Ass.” Jan kissed him back, then glanced briefly back at the door as Jack eyed up his ass and felt it up with a grin. “Fancy taking me for a quick drive?”

“Your ass? Yeah, maybe.” That sounded too dream-like, then—“Oh…” Jack pulled back and folded his arms. “Fuck… off.”

“Fuck off?” Jan tugged a magazine out from under his jumper and kept it away from the CCTV cameras. “I’ve got a limited edition with your name on it?”

Jack choked a laugh and eyed it up, then Jan. “You’re on lockdown for a reason. So fuck… off. You’ll get me hung, drawn, with no promise of an easy out with being quartered.” He meant that, unusually so, and Jan deflated.

That seemed to work more than the offer of a bribe, and after a long sigh, Jack took the magazine off him and tugged him in. “Fuck. Compromise?” he mumbled in Jan’s hair before kissing at his head. “How about I call and wreck Raif’s security plans, see if Monique and Andrea want a few hours of being waited on here? I’ll even smuggle them in via the cat flap so Gray doesn’t see.”

“The cat and the size of the cat flap scares her.” He rethought that. “ Gray scares her.”

Jack laughed and kissed at his jaw, but his hold was long, quiet. “How you really doing, soft lad?”

Jan gave a sigh and eased back to look at him. “It wasn’t my brother or his wife and their kid killed.”

Jack nodded. “I know. But it’s got nasty echoes, right?”

Jan tensed up, not wanting the echoes of Rob, how him and his toddler had died, all because some spy had needed Jack in Jan’s life.

“Annnnd…” Jack eyed him up through a twitching eye. “Kind of sucks being on lockdown side, right? Me? I’m used to it, but you?”

Jan snorted a sad smile. Yeah, he really understood Jack’s push back against the noose-tight security now. A long time ago, in the aftermath of Vince and Henry, he’d needed Gray’s security, maybe even hid in it for a while along with the heroin. But now…? “I’m more worried for Monique. Just wanted to check she’s okay.”

“She’s got Raif, and his version of nasty Shrek scares the shit out of me. She’s also got MC security. She’ll be fine. You’ve got a phone to call her with, and Gray, he’ll—”

“I’ll… what, exactly?”

Jan eased back, hearing Gray. He stood back by the door to the reception hall, leaning against the anachronistic black Victorian lamppost, holding his coffee, his other hand in his trouser pocket, and the look their way was… off.

Jack looked over too. “Just letting Jan know you’ll know before anyone else if there’s trouble for Monique.”

“Yeah?” Gray turned away. “Oval. Now, Jack.”

Giving a frown, Jan eased away. A look came his way off Jack, but it was an old look over Jan being caught in the start of a street brawl about to break out, where Jack didn’t really see him, not fully. But then Jan never was his threat.

He didn’t understand why Jack’s look said Gray was his threat now.

Gray headed in, and saying nothing, Jack followed like he’d been expecting a talk of some sort.

Confused, Jan followed them into the hall. Gray rested his coffee mug on the table just as Ray came from his obs room, and such a strange look passed between them both that had Jan pausing.

It stopped Jack dead centre of the reception hall as well, his lowered look on Ray’s circle around him.

After a moment, Ray came to a stop not far from him, and Jack nodded to himself, then went over, nose-to-nose close.

“Gray still getting you to dip your dick where it shouldn’t be, huh?” It came so flatly off Jack, and Gray eased away from the mail table as Jack tilted his head slightly. “Don’t you ever get sick of playing I Spy on my balls?”

I Spy? Jan looked between them. Fuck. Had Gray told him about Jude at some point? If so, why the aggression towards Ray? Why the cold front off Gray towards Jack ? And why the hell hadn’t Gray waited until Jan was here to tell Jack about Jude, because he must have done it whilst Jack was at work. “What—”

“Jack.” Gray never shifted his gaze from him. “Back off. Now.”

“Fuck you.” It came so quietly, and Jan really wasn’t sure who that was really meant for. Ray or—

Jack headbutted Ray, then in the next breath, took him down to the floor before sending run after run of vicious kicks to Ray’s ribs.

“ What the fuck? What the —” Jan backed off wildly, hands running through his hair as Gray came in, an arm around Jack’s neck. He twisted him away, sending him stumbling a few paces before helping Ray find his feet. Then as Jack came back in, pure focus on Ray, Gray twisted Jack’s arm behind him and grabbed the back of Jack’s hair, forcing his look up to the ceiling.

“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” snarled Gray in his ear.

Heart pounding hard, not understanding what was going on, Jan took a step closer, but only one, because the look in Jack’s eyes…. “Jack, what… what the actual hell?”

“Let’s go tell him, shall we, eh?” Gray didn’t give Jack a chance to reply as he forced him back down the hall, towards the Oval.

Jan was left unable to move, to ask Ray if he was okay and—

“Jan?” said Ray, hugging his ribs. “It’s okay. Go with them.”

Jan glanced at him, tried to offer a sorry, but only shrugged before making it to the Oval.

Gray forced Jack face-first up into the corner of his study and held his struggles still until he was forced to stop trying to tear off the arm around his throat as well as ease the rough grip on the back of his hair.

“Carry it on,” snarled Gray in his ear. “You carry it on trying to push fucking buttons, I’ll show you exactly how you’re not… like… fucking… me .”

Jack stilled, breathing heavy, hard, but it was almost as if he was caught tensing for when Gray would let him go so he could start again. So Gray kept him pinned there, a grip in his hair forcing his forehead into the wall like a dog-handler to aggressive Pitbull to enforce the no-aggression point.

The standoff seemed to last an age, those few minutes stretching down a long nightmare tunnel that only widened the more Jan stood there, watched. Then saying nothing, Jack locked his hands behind his head, keeping them there.

Gray instantly eased off, resting a fine fingertip point to the back of Jack’s neck, almost to test if he would retaliate, then when none came, he removed his touch. “Down.”

Looking like he tolerated Gray’s handling, but nothing more, Jack found his knees, hands still locked behind his head as he knelt into the corner.

“Jan,” said Gray quietly. “Jack’s medication bag. Go fetch it for me.”

Jan went to say something, but the words failed him as he turned away and headed for the kitchen. He came back with Jack’s medication not long after and handed it over in the silence.

Gray opened it on the desk and seemed to find what he was looking for on one bottle of meds, checked something on the front, then popped the lid and tipped them onto his palm and thumbed through them.

“Good.” He nodded. “At least you’ve got enough bastard sense to not come off your meds, because that was my first thought.” He slammed the meds back on the table and Jan jolted. “So.” Turning and resting back against his desk, Gray crossed his arms, his look down on his feet. “This shit over the trapeze… the bruise on your shoulder… why you went gunplay on me… your work boots. You gonna be the one to tell Jan what you’ve done?”

Gunplay? Jan frowned as Jack started to turn his look Gray’s way.

“Don’t.” It came so coldly off Gray. “After the shit you’ve just pulled with Ray, I’ll fucking hurt you for it.”

“Gray?” Jan took a step closer, but Gray’s look his way pinned him in place.

“C’mon, Jack. Find that fucking voice of yours. Talk to soft lad here.” Gray tightened the muscles in his jaw. “Then you try explaining it to me. But before you do, know that I was on scene for Chris’s accident, and I saw the tread marks to a second car in that RTA. Fucking know that Simon himself was then the one to go through Chris’s onboard camera system.”

Jan frowned as Jack stiffened.

“Yeah. Chris really pissed you off, didn’t he? So back to the old days of carjacking for you it was, with just a touch of your modern-day tech skills and how to block camera recognition on a licence plate.” Gray wiped a hand across his mouth, looking to try and control so much going on internally. “Oh you were smart, so damn smart using me with a call just after the accident to suggest you were still at work, plus using your new throwaway phone that won’t be setup for tracking like your new one will, with also making sure your car never hit his and erasing any potential evidence of you being at the scene when it came to the onboard camera. I’m also betting you used a scrapped car with no paperwork to tie it to you if by some chance the licence plate was picked up.” Gray kept his look on the floor. “But you forced my fucking snout your way, then Simon of all goddamn tech people, all because you timed your retaliation during a fucking culler investigation and—”

“ Jack .” Jan choked. “You…. You went after Chris? You put him in hospital?”

“Strange that,” Jack said so quietly. “You wouldn’t have thought twice about calling Gray in, when his option could and has been a lot worse.”

“ No it fucking wouldn’t have .” Jan wiped a hand over his face. “It’s the MC, for god’s sake. The one place you both fucking love. The most Gray would have done was talk to Jill or Brennan and got them to get him to back off, or he’d pull Chris aside and have a word in his ear. What th’fuck were you thinking?”

“Master sub.” It came so flatly off Jack. “One who pinpointed a bad element who could have hurt mine. Evidence found, Chris no longer has rights to MC protection. He’s a cunt, one that has no right to be around you or them.”

“You—”

“ Not ever your fucking place to tread .” Gray’s yell silenced both Jan and Jack. “Ever since Christmas nearly two years ago… helping Kiyen and Fal to get away—you… you keep trying to piss over my hold on security.” Gray’s look went to Jack. “You wanted your head space, I gave it to you. This is mine.” He looked so calm, yet damn dangerous with it.

“I looked after Jan, nothing more.”

“Don’t,” said Gray. “Don’t fucking kneel there and lie to me about protecting him. I saw your look that day. This is about your guilt over not being there when it all went down, how you left Jan standing at the roadside. So just what the hell were you doing when Jan called you at the cafe? How did you really break your phone? What else have I been forced to miss through giving you your fucking head space? Because that’s what all this is about, right? You and headspace?”

Jan stilled, his look shifting so slowly to Jack and how quiet he fell.

“Yeah. Trapeze moments, right?” Gray said it so quietly. “Your fall with no safety net. Is that it?” He narrowed his eyes Jack’s way. “Have you been pushing limits in other ways in order to try and get to Martin, force him out? All because you were missing him too, because you knew we were, but this last one with Chris?” He frowned and shook his head. “That wasn’t you. There was too much bloody rage in the tyre tracks that missed Chris’s car, with how you’ve just assaulted Ray.” Gray seemed to lose any thread of anger, and he shook his head. “What the fuck’s going on with you?”

Jack eased back.

Got to his feet.

Came over.

Gray eased slowly away from his desk as he stopped nose-to-nose with him, and Gray tilted his head, just slightly, and Jan was right there with him.

Jack stood challenging Gray’s space. Picking another street fight, only this time with Gray , all that damn flat-lined feeling in his eyes.

“Family.” Eventually Jack took his phone out and offered it to Gray. “Don’t stand there demanding I spill the shit over me and Martin, not when you and Ray have been balls deep in my arse for over six months without telling me. That’s my past you’ve been fucking with. That’s Martin’s kid, one I’m damn well responsible for now when I’ve made it perfectly clear to anyone with half a braincell: I never… once wanted… fucking… kids .”

Fuck. Jan felt sick. Jack knew about Martin. He knew about… Jude, only it hadn’t been Gray who’d told him.

Gray looked down at the phone but didn’t take it before finding him again. “Back in the carpark when you added your number to my contact list, you saw the file. You recognised Joanna’s name on it and transferred the file to yours.”

Jack snorted. “I recognised her mother’s surname. Kim. It was the only one I’d hear Cutter whisper back then. The date of birth confirmed it. He never could stand losing anything, that bastard.”

“So you knew about Joanna’s mother.” Gray levelled his look on Jack. “Did you know Martin had a kid out there?”

“Fuck you, Gray. Just fuck you.” It came out so flatly: no rage… nothing. “That’s you again assuming I put Cutter’s collar over anyone here. I knew fuck all beyond Joanna’s mother’s surname. I certainly knew fuck all about Martin having a kid with Joanna.” He hadn’t once said Jude’s name. “But it looks like Martin caught the vibrations on his spider web, eh?” added Jack. “From that note of his, he told you at some point.” He looked Gray up and down. “Secrets. That’s nearly two years of them between you two. Getting really cosy together back there, were we? Enough you think him first, me… a few years later. Because this is you about protecting Martin’s kid when he protected yours, right?”

Gray held his look, and Jack nodded, more to himself.

“One question, though.” He looked Jan’s way. “How long have you known? Because I thought we were lovers too, yet I don’t hear you crying disgust over Martin fucking with Cutter’s daughter either.”

“Jan didn’t start the search,” Gray said flatly. “I did.”

Jack went back in nose-to-nose close. “ Never. Your. Place. To. Fucking. Tread .” His repeat of Gray’s own words hung heavy in the air. “You delegated part of my family history to the hired fucking help before you spoke to me. You—”

Jan came in, roughly tugging Jack around. “I pushed him into telling me yesterday, just a few hours after he found out about Jude. And he didn’t mention it two years ago because he thought it was just another head game of Martin’s. And you know just how vicious his games can be. Gray didn’t want to hurt either of us with it until he knew for sure it was justified. And you know that takes goddamn time and manpower, Jack, even with Ray working in the background to get him the details he needed. But with Jason and its Nottingham taint, Chris’s accident possibly being tied to it…?” Jan frowned. “He didn’t get time, that’s all.” Another shrug. “We didn’t get time, and I’m… with Monique… I’m sorry, okay? We needed to talk to you so badly but we just ran out of time.”

“Yeah? That right? This is all about trying to find the time to talk to me, is it?” Jack dismissed him and looked at Gray. “Come lie to me again. Because I saw your face back then, when you lost Martin. For those few moments it was all Martin. You never once saw me sitting on the bench next to you until I threatened to walk and take away his echo. And it’s that echo I see every goddamn morning in your smile, the one that says he’ll be back. The one that’s always waiting for him to come fucking back. You—”

Jan almost missed just how fast Gray could move. He tugged Jack in close with a rough grip to the back of his hair, and the kiss he gave was so brutal one moment, then tender and made to last in another.

“ Never at the cost of fucking you ,” he snarled, tightening his grip in his hair and making Jack wince as he pulled him away a touch. “Get that into your bloody fucked-up head—because if I have to start proving how much you mean to me over Martin, we’re long past saving, Jack.”

Gray held him still, made sure he stayed… still. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know if it was just another one of Martin’s head games, one sick one I didn’t want to drag you in to let alone any potential kid of his—not with you losing him, not with how everything had gone down over Light and how they both took us all out. And yes of course I damn well want to look after one of his like he looked after mine. Then when I found out it wasn’t a head game yesterday, I ran out of time. I just ran out of goddamn time to talk to you, Jack. Nothing more.” He gripped him by the throat. “But you could have damn well told me all of this piled more shit onto your head over Chris—enough to risk your life, fuck his .”

Jack shoved him off… held his look, then after a few moments of quiet, he stepped back and slowly locked his hands behind his head before he turned and took the walk back to the corner.

As he knelt down, facing it, he looked like he fought to cool down, so taking the corner seemed the only break point to stop reactions he didn’t want to regret.

Confused, angry, not understanding a goddamn thing, Jan shrugged. After a moment, he turned and headed for the Oval door.

“ Lockdown .” That snarl came off Jack. “You stay fucking here , Jan.”

“Like you said to Gray, Jack—fuck you. And I mean… fuck you .” Jan tugged open the door and made his way back to the reception hall, but as he reached it, a grip on his arm pulled him to a stop, and Jan turned back.

“Easy,” said Gray, coming in close. “This is all on the back of learning about Jude. He doesn’t know what’s going on himself, he—”

“Oh he knew. You—” Jan shrugged, backing off a little. “He put Chris in fucking hospital , Gray. He lay in bed with me last night after putting Chris in hospital and never said a goddamn word. I saw your look just, in the carpark too before any of this kicked off. You were worried about him not picking up the call, then lying about it. This has been going on for a while, and you…. This isn’t even emergence of another personality here, is it? It’s Jack. Ours.”

Gray nodded slightly. “Yeah. It’s Jack. He’s fully aware of what he’s doing and done. This is something… different.”

Jan groaned. “I knew… I knew it would hit him hard over Martin fucking with Cutter’s daughter, but going after Chris like that, going after Ray …. that’s real hate there for Martin, Gray. And how he squared up with you just….”

Gray glanced back to the Oval, his look more than troubled. “He took the corner,” he said back to Jan. “That’s his quiet nod towards knowing he’s burning too hard, that he needs to control the fall and take timeout to think.” Gray looked at Jan. “He’ll talk when he’s got it straight in his own head. It takes time, but he gets there in the end.”

Jan wiped a shaky hand through his hair. “If this is Jack’s reaction—just how the fuck will Martin take it, especially over not having all the details? He’s so much more dangerous, Gray. Why… why the hell hasn’t Halliday picked up on Jack’s change of behaviour, that he goes missing off the grid? I mean: what else has he done? Where the fuck has he been if he hasn’t been at work some of the time?”

“Jack knows his disorder. He’s kept up with his meds,” Gray said quietly. “He’s had years of therapy sessions, so routine? I’m betting he’s kept up with the same one until he needed not to. And all credit yours and Jack’s way, you’ve both come such a long way since Vince. He was in a good place to handle it. But this with Jude….”

That terrified Jan. Where had Jack been the day he’d broken his phone? How many other times had he gone off on his own? Where had his head gone even if he was in a good place to handle trying to get Martin back? Why the secrecy? That’s what really hurt: Jan would have faced anything with him.

And there, the doubt. The questioning of Jack and his motives, no Martin needed this time.

Jan briefly screwed his eyes shut. Feeling like he really needed to throw up, he eased away. “I need out for a while,” he said quietly. “Just an hour. No lockdown. No one with me. I swear I’ll stay away from Monique’s but you give me some bloody space.” He’d been there the last time Jack had lost it with Vince and nearly beaten someone to death, and he hadn’t had an out then. Fuck Jack for throwing his own head back into all of that and not saying he was struggling. “You said it: we’re both in a better place to handle this kind of shit, so you let me handle it, my way.”

Gray didn’t look happy, and he stroked at Jan’s jaw for long moments. “Okay. Make damn sure you stay away from Monique and you keep both tracking devices on: your car and your personal device.” He tensed his jaw, really not looking happy. “My turn with him now. You go find some peace, just…” A frown. “Don’t make me come after you.”

Jan snorted and started to pull away.

“Sir.” Blood wiped from his hairline, head patched up, Ray called from over by the lounge, and they both looked over. “Change of plan with Light. His flight’s due in earlier tomorrow. Do you need me to handle it?”

Jan nearly groaned.

Light added into the mix now as well…? Jesus Christ.

Gray shook his head, and a look at Jan, he went over and whispered something in Ray’s ear. Jan had a feeling it was an apology, where Gray’s pull out of his phone was to get a doctor here to check Ray over. Ray stopped him and shook his head.

How many times had Gray carried that same apology around him, that Ray had carried bruises under his shirt and denied himself access to a doctor…?

Was this why it was really so tense between Ray and Jack at times? The bastardness never really stopped whether it was Jack or Martin?

Giving a frown, Jan turned and took his coat.