Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Before sunrise on the planet rotation of the Plan’s activation, Roshini harvested the last batch of herbs she’d ever deliver to Luam. Drift assisted her with that task.
They moved amongst the plants, chattering and working. Every few moments, her cyborg would wander by her and sweep his hand over her cloth-covered lower back. He seemed to sense when her mood turned dark and she needed that uplifting physical contact.
Roshini spotted movement in the vegetation. As she approached that area on the plot, the lizard who had now claimed the cave as his home popped his head out from between the green leaves.
“If we’re not back by sunset, all this is yours, little lizard.” She smiled at the tiny creature. “It should be self-maintaining until something breaks.”
The lizard tilted his head and gazed up at her with his large eyes.
“We’ll be back by sunset.” Drift sounded certain about the success of the Plan.
She clung to that hope. It was the only way she could function.
When she’d pictured it in her head, she’d envisioned herself being brave. She would stoically go off to her death, comforted by the knowledge she would be saving thousands of Cancris.
Now that the time had come, she was terrified. She didn’t want to die. And she didn’t want her friends to die. And Fates, she worried the Plan wouldn’t be successful and all their sacrifices would be for nothing.
Her cyborg seemed to sense that. He had complete faith in the Plan. He believed they would successful and the two of them, at the very least, would survive it.
That calmed her ass down.
“I know I shouldn’t risk it.” She confided in Drift. “But I need to talk freely and openly with Luam.”
She wanted everything to be said and understood. No code words used. No thoughts implied but not communicated.
Her friend should know how much she cared for him. He should realize the difference he had made in her life and would make in other beings’ lifespans.
That was important. To her. And to her friend.
“I’ll ensure no one else hears your chatter.” Her cyborg expressed no surprise. He must have anticipated the request.
As he often anticipated her wants and needs. The male got her. He understood her. And she didn’t know how she would have endured the past few planet rotations without him.
She set aside the herbs Luam wouldn’t ever consume. And she donned her delivery disguise. It was too risky to meet with her friend looking like her natural self. The Invaders could be watching them.
And Luam had seen her in numerous disguises. It hadn’t altered their friendship. It wouldn’t impact their conversation.
Their connection was at the soul level.
“I wish we could save him.” She fastened her brown flight suit.
“Chatter with your friend, my female, and ask him what he wants.” Drift straightened her collar. His fingertips brushed over her neck and she leaned into that touch, craving it, needing it. “To choose how one dies is a powerful act. When we were under Humanoid Alliance control, Blunt, a big C Model, learned he would be slated for decommissioning the next planet rotation. His handler had been rewarded for Blunt’s high kill rate with a newly manufactured G Model.”
Roshini caught one of her cyborg’s hands and squeezed his fingers.
Drift was a G Model. The reminder that he had also replaced another warrior, that a warrior had been killed because he was born…or manufactured as he called it, must have pained her caring male.
“We were going into a fierce battle that shift.” Drift’s voice reverted to the emotional flatness he used when memories especially hurt him. “Blunt relayed to me and to the rest of the warriors over the transmission lines that we were not to shield him from any damage. And if he was rendered nonoperational, we were not to pull his form out of the war zone.”
“Fates.” She hugged her male. Her heart ached for him and for Blunt. “Your friend planned to die.”
Drift nodded. “He planned to die in battle, doing what he loved. The advance warning of his decommissioning had been a gift. He could end his lifespan on his terms, in control.”
Roshini battled to control her emotions.
“It was a good death.” Her cyborg’s lips curled upward. “Blunt fought as I’d never seen him fight. And he had a big smile on his face when that first missile struck him. He moved directly into it. His suffering was over in two heartbeats.”
In contrast, decommissioning, her male had explained to her previously, could last a full shift. The cyborgs’ huge forms were ravaged for parts. They spent their final moments in horrific agony.
Luam and the other Cancris with advanced tumors were enduring an even slower death. The pain inhibitors were losing their effectiveness. They’d be in agony also.
“The Erinomean Green Fire kills within two heartbeats.” Any suffering her friends endured would pass quickly.
Needing to do something, she donned her simulated hair.
Drift pushed a lock of it behind her left ear. “Our kind are…durable. And my brethren’s lifespan ended in less than a heartbeat.”
A Cancri would die faster than that. Roshini blew out her breath. “If Luam wishes to die this planet rotation—” And he would wish that. She knew her friend. “—I’ll try to accept it.”
But she doubted the guilt would ever leave her. Because the Plan was hers, and her friend would do anything he could do to help her with it or with anything she asked of him.
She walked with Drift out of the cave toward the mounted transport.
Her cyborg carried the container of herbs with one hand and linked the fingers of his other hand with hers. The securing of her to him was needed.
Her mind floated.
She gazed toward the rising sun. It peeked over the horizon, illuminating the mountains with streaks of gold. The sky was an array of different colors, and it was clear. The sand glowed.
The beauty of the planet rotation made the discussions and actions they had to endure even more surreal. No one should have to speak of dying when the sun shone brightly over their heads. That was chatter for clouds and darkness.
Drift placed the container of herbs in the under-seat compartment. He lifted her onto the machine. The panels had been switched the previous rest cycle.
“You can do this, my female.” Her male pressed his lips against her forehead.
Her skin fizzed. She found the effervescence comforting now.
“I can do this.” She lifted her chin. Determination gripped her. “Get on, my cyborg, and strap your arms around me tightly. We’re flying fast this planet rotation.”
They would both lose themselves in the glory of speed. For a moment, she’d escape her duties.
And she would escape those responsibilities with her cyborg.
Always with him.
* * *
Roshini slowed the mounted transport once they reached the mountain nearest Luam’s home.
Drift jumped off the machine, rolled over the sand onto his booted feet, and then pushed himself forward. His big form blurred. That was how fast he was running. He resembled a dark shadow moving vertically up the incline.
She forced herself to fly her mounted transport much slower toward her destination.
When she arrived at the small structure, Luam was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t waiting for her as he usually was.
She set the container of herbs near his home’s door and circled the building.
Her friend was found around the back of the lot.
He stood by the carved stone boulders that marked the final resting places of his mate and son. Her friend gazed down at the wind-smoothed sand.
His expression was…content.
Luam took a drink from the beverage container in his right hand. “Next sunrise, I will be by their sides.”
Fates. Grief gripped Roshini.
She sucked back that emotion.
“We can chatter freely.” She stood next to him. “My cyborg is blocking any surveillance the Invaders might be doing.”
“ Your cyborg.” Luam passed her the beverage container.
She took a swig of the contents. The fermented beverage wasn’t at all diluted. It burned as it traveled down her throat. Her eyes watered.
“You’ve claimed him as your mate.” Her friend’s gaze returned to his own mate’s boulder.
“Something…unusual happened right before we met the cyborg, that first time, at Bubs’s Place.” It felt strange to be speaking openly to her friend after so many solar cycles of chattering in code. But it also felt right. She had craved a direct conversation with her friend. “As I was about to enter the place, a figure in a hooded cloak was exiting.”
Luam turned his head and gazed at her.
The drama wasn’t like her, she knew. But there was no other way to tell the story. “That female had the palest blue eyes I’ve ever seen and she paused near where I was hiding. I heard… No, I felt her say ‘Trust the male with the gray eyes.’”
That male was her cyborg. Roshini was certain about that.
“Then there was a noise, and I looked away, and in the space of that heartbeat, she disappeared. Completely. She was gone.” That sounded impossible, but it was the reality of the situation. “When I talked to Bubs about her, he claimed to have never seen such a being. She hadn’t entered his place.”
“Yet you saw her exit it?” Luam’s forehead furrowed with thought lines.
“I thought I saw her exit it.” Roshini passed the beverage container back to him.
“Fates.” Her friend breathed that one word. “The being you saw was one of the Fates.” His tone held reverence. “And she visited you . To be singled out by them is an honor. For her to tell you to trust the cyborg…he is your mate. And your destiny.”
“My cyborg is my mate.” Roshini nodded. Every part of her knew that.
“Then I can go with no regrets.” Luam smiled. His expression held relief. And joy. “You won’t be alone. You have your mate, a mate approved of and sent to you by the Fates themselves.” He said that with wonder. “And I will be with them again.” Her friend gestured to the boulders. “I’ve missed them. So much. If it hadn’t been for you, I would have joined them long ago.”
“If it hadn’t been for our plan to stop the Invaders, you mean.” She gently corrected him.
“No, if it hadn’t been for you.” Her friend met her gaze. Sincerity lit his eyes. “Yes, when we first met, I was consumed by the need for vengeance. And I was also driven by guilt. An entire settlement, including my mate and my son, died because I tried to stop the Betrayal. I survived that massacre. Me. The being who had caused it.”
“The Invaders had caused it.” They were the beings responsible for the Betrayal.
“Only one being would have died if I hadn’t stepped forward to volunteer to take my son’s place.” Luam refused to absolve himself of the blame. “I had guilt and hatred in my heart. That isn’t the Cancri way. And, as we worked together, I realized my survival had a purpose. You needed me.”
“I did need you.” She had been lost in her own sorrow when they met. And she had lacked the experience and the leadership skills required to deliver justice for her loved ones and rid the planet of the Invaders. “I still need you.”
She would always need him. He was her friend.
“You’ve learned all I have to teach you.” Luam shook his head. “And my yearning for vengeance has long passed. As has my guilt. I was staying solely for you, because I worried for you. You were too much alone, too solitary.”
“You’re one to talk,” she grumbled.
“I am one to talk.” He didn’t disagree with her. “That’s why I knew it wasn’t good for you.” His lips curled upward. “But now, you have your cyborg, a mate provided by the Fates.” Her friend whistled. “I knew you were special. We all knew that. But I don’t think any of us realized how special you truly are.”
“I’m your friend.” Her cheeks heated. “That’s the only thing that makes me special.”
That wasn’t the full truth. She was also her cyborg’s mate.
“The Fates don’t visit beings because they are good to their friends.” Luam chuckled. “You’re important. Our Plan is important. Fates. You were sent a cyborg mate. Cyborgs are some of the best warriors in the universe. They are nearly indestructible. The Fates must want the Plan to work. And they want you to survive it.”
Roshini didn’t know about that. “You could survive it also. Place someone else in charge of your portion of the Plan, and?—”
“No.” Her friend’s voice sharpened. “The Plan is my destiny also. This is what I’m meant to do. I need to do this. And you need me to do it.”
The Plan could unfold without him. She opened her mouth to tell Luam that.
“And I’m tired, my friend.” His shoulders slumped. “I’m tired of the pain, and I’m tired of being parted from my mate and our son.”
Her friend poured beverage onto his mate’s grave. The liquid evaporated as soon as it touched the hot sand.
“I miss you, my love.” Caring softened his voice. “I miss your loving smile. I miss the feel of your form next to mine. I miss your breathing in the darkness when I’m falling asleep. That reassured me you were close to me, that I wasn’t alone.”
A tear dripped down Roshini’s cheek. She hurriedly wiped it away before her friend could see it.
“I miss you too, Son.” Luam dispensed the remaining beverage over his son’s grave. “I miss how you’d stomp around our home in those big boots you insisted you’d grow into.” He paused. “That never did happen.”
His bottom lip trembled.
Roshini’s heart ached for her friend.
“I miss, Son, how you’d tell me I had too many solar cycles.” Luam’s tone was gruff. “I didn’t understand the problems in this new world. Yet I did. Somewhat.” His lips twisted. “I miss how you’d linger by the door, pretending you didn’t want a hug from me, yet we both knew that you did.”
Roshini swept her fingertips over her wet cheeks.
“I’ll hug you soon.” Luam planted the beverage container in the sand beside their markers. “We’ll be a family again. You can stomp to your heart’s content. Your mom and I will shake our heads but, inside our souls, we’ll be smiling. There’ll be no more loneliness, no more sorrow, no more pain.” He turned to Roshini. “And we can enjoy our peace knowing our kind has a clever, brave, caring being, plus her cyborg mate and the guidance of the Fates, to protect them.”
“Luam, I don’t know if I can—” Her voice broke.
“The Fates believe you can make a difference.” Her friend squeezed her shoulder. “I believe you can make a difference. Your cyborg will ensure you survive. You focus on this planet rotation’s tasks. You have the explosives to distribute, and beings to rally, and a mate to calm before you charm that Invader who has access to the leaders’ quarters.” Luam’s lips quirked. “Your cyborg won’t like that male touching you, I’m guessing.”
Drift had said he processed the need for her to flirt with and touch the Invader contact. But saying he’d be fine with it and actually being fine with it were two different things.
“I doubt he’ll enjoy that part of the Plan,” she admitted. Her cyborg was a possessive being.
“He’s your mate.” Luam’s eyes twinkled. “He won’t like that at all. That Invader will be the first to die, and his death won’t be caused by the explosives.”
Roshini wouldn’t grieve the Invader’s death. The male had killed hundreds of Cancris directly and many more thousands indirectly.
But she didn’t want the Plan to be placed in jeopardy.
“If the Invader has to be killed before the explosives are detonated, my cyborg will ensure his death is discreet.” She said that both to her friend and to Drift.
He was listening to their conversation. She knew that.
“I’m glad that Invader won’t live to see the sunrise.” Luam had been open about his hatred for the male. Her friend was protective of her also.
“I’m glad for that also.” She summoned a smile. “Is the team as ready as they can be to take the next step?” She changed the subject slightly. “The distribution is in less than a shift.
“They’re ready.” Her friend’s gaze met hers. “Every member of the team feels similarly to how I do about their roles in our Plan. They want their pain to stop, and they’re proud that their last moments will make the lifespans of others better. They feel fortunate to have been chosen.”
They felt fortunate to die and to have their deaths mean something.
Roshini tilted her head upward, capturing the tears welling in her eyes.
They were like her cyborg’s friend, Blunt. Her team wanted control over the ending of their lifespans.
And she had given them that. They could’ve turned down their offered roles. They chose to make the sacrifice.
“They will see their loved ones soon.” All of the males had lost beings. “When you see your mate and your son, my friend, tell them I love them. And know that I love you. I?—”
Emotion severed her words again.
So Roshini hugged Luam instead of chattering. And she knew he understood what she was trying to say. As her friend always understood her.
She also knew what she had to do.
Her friend deserved to rejoin his mate and his family with no additional guilt. There would be no more tears spilled in his presence and no more talk of missing him or wishing he’d be spared.
Luam had made his choice. She would honor it.