Chapter 6 Taran
April, Twenty-Three and a Half Years Ago
Drizzle clung to the loose strand of my ponytail as Quinn, Cammie, and I walked home from school. The high school and primary school were in one building on the hill behind Main Street and only a five-minute walk from our houses.
Before we knew it, we’d be home and I wouldn’t have another chance to ask Quinn why he was so quiet.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked again.
He’d been like this for two days, barely saying a word to me.
It was making me panic. While I had friends at school, I wasn’t as close to any of them as I was to Quinn.
Since the day of my dad’s funeral, we’d become good friends, but lately I’d felt a bit lonely.
Laird was eighteen now and working for one of the fishing crews, so he wasn’t around as much.
He’d started going out with Finella Kirk and was talking about getting his own place.
A new boy Quinn’s age had moved to the island to stay with his aunt and uncle. His name was Forde Dallas, and Quinn thought he was the best, so he wasn’t around as much. And now with his mum and stepdad married and planning to take over his stepdad’s farm, we wouldn’t even be neighbors.
My chest tightened, waiting for Quinn’s response.
“Don’t be rude, Quinn.” Cammie shoved him. “Taran asked you a question.” She glanced past her brother to me. “Don’t feel bad, Taran. He’s been a moody wee shite lately.”
Despite my fear over losing my best friend, I couldn’t help my wobbly smile.
Cammie might have been two years younger than me, but the eleven-year-old had far more sass and confidence.
The fact that she was the same height as me also made it easy to forget we weren’t the same age.
But she was still at the primary school part of the building.
Maybe when she got to high school, we’d see each other more, spend more time together.
Quinn abruptly halted, scowling at his wee sister. “Cammie, do me a favor and walk on without us.”
Cammie wiped the drizzle off her face and huffed. “What’s in it for me?”
“Greg said he was baking today.” Quinn referred to their new stepdad. “I’ll give you my share.”
His sister’s eyes narrowed. “Nah. I want you to take me quad-biking next time you go with Forde.”
I stifled a laugh.
“You know that’s not up to me. Mum would kill me.”
“That’s my offer.” She crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged.
This time I couldn’t help my snort.
Quinn shot me a mock betrayed look before turning back to her. “Fine. But you walk home ahead of me and Taran until we move to the farm.”
My curiosity piqued at that.
Something shifted in Cammie’s eyes as she looked between us and suddenly grinned, like she knew something the rest of us didn’t. “Fine. Deal. Bye, Taran!”
“Bye!” I called out belatedly as Cammie took off at a run, her backpack bouncing against her lower back.
Quinn wiped the wet hair off his forehead with a sigh as he turned to me.
His blue eyes looked extra blue today, and I felt the now-familiar butterflies at being alone with him.
I didn’t know when my feelings toward Quinn had changed.
One day he was my friend, one of my favorite people …
then about a year or so ago, I started to get this funny feeling in my tummy every time he smiled.
That sensation grew and grew. When my friends started getting boyfriends and talking about kissing, I began to wonder what it might be like to kiss Quinn.
And when my friend Helen told me her big sister had told her that her friend Kiera, who was in Quinn’s class, fancied Quinn, I’d felt a flush of outrage at the thought of any girl going out with him.
Then it occurred to me Quinn was fourteen.
Maybe he’d been kissing girls for a while already and I just didn’t know about it.
The thought depressed the heck out of me.
But my more-than-friends feelings for my best friend didn’t matter if he was about to tell me he didn’t want to be friends at all anymore.
Quinn was more social than I was. He was always out doing something, whereas I’d rather read a book than hang out with a bunch of people. When it was just Quinn, it was fine. It was great. But otherwise, I preferred my own company. Maybe that had become boring for him.
I nibbled nervously on my lower lip, feeling a rise of anger as Quinn just stared at me. The anger was bred from a deep hurt, and before I could stop myself, I snapped, “If you don’t want to be friends anymore, just say so.”
Quinn’s eyebrows rose as he gaped at me. His cheeks flushed a ruddy color as annoyance flashed in those blue, blue eyes. “Why would you think that?”
Tears thickened my throat. I always got tearful when I was mad and I hated it! I swallowed hard, turning away. “Because,” I choked out. “You’ve hardly spoken to me for two days and since Forde moved here, I guess I’m boring now or something.”
“Shit.” Quinn suddenly stood in front of me, shaking his head.
These days, I had to look up at him. He’d had a growth spurt and was the tallest boy in his year. Right now, I didn’t understand his expression as he searched my face. “What?” I asked sharply.
Quinn opened his mouth to say something and then slammed it closed.
The truth was he wasn’t the best at talking about stuff.
He’d sit with me while I talked about all my feelings and he was such a good listener and way more sensitive than most people knew.
But he rarely talked about how he was feeling.
Somehow, I still knew. But not anymore. Now he was hard to read, and that hurt too.
I huffed and moved to walk around him, but he stepped to the side, blocking my path.
“Kiera asked me out,” Quinn suddenly blurted. “Kiera Donnelly.”
Like he had to say her surname for me to know who he was talking about. Kiera Donnelly was one of the bonniest lassies in school. I felt sick.
“Oh. Good for you,” I muttered, trying to walk around him again.
Quinn blocked me. “Nah … that’s not why I …” He suddenly grabbed my biceps to stop me. “Will you please just stand still so I can get this out? It’s taken me weeks to get up the guts to say this, and you keep moving.”
I gaped up at him, at his sudden intensity.
“I like you,” he said the three words on a fast exhale, his grip easing. “I don’t want to go out with Kiera because … I want to go out with you.” Quinn released me and the blood whooshed in my ears. I barely heard him ask, “How … how do you feel about that?”
His weirdness the past few weeks took on a whole different meaning. “Is … is that why you’ve not been around lately?”
Quinn jammed his hands in his pockets as a drop of rain scored down the side of his cheek and dripped off his chin. “Aye. Sorry. I just … we’re, like … we’re pals … and uh … well …”
Goodness, he was really bad at this.
I grinned, finding it adorable instead of annoying, now that I knew he fancied me back.
His eyes narrowed on my mouth. “Does that mean …?”
“I would like to go out with you,” I replied, my voice shaking a little with shy happiness.
Quinn grinned widely, that boyish smile making my tummy flutter. “Really?”
I nodded, unable to fight my own smile or the red hotness in my cheeks.
He suddenly stepped into my personal space, and I sucked in a breath. Quinn swallowed hard. “Can … can I kiss you?”
“Here?” I squeaked out. Anyone could see us here and tell our parents. Oh my goodness, Quinn was going to give me my first kiss. Quinn McQuarrie! “Okay.”
He bent his head toward mine.
And my stupid inner thoughts blurted out before his lips could touch mine. “Is this your first kiss?”
He stopped, our noses inches from each other. I could feel his breath fluttering across my skin as he inhaled and then pulled back to shake his head.
Oh.
“Sorry,” Quinn whispered. “Does that … does it change it for you?”
Who had he kissed? The thought was a deep ache in my chest. “Kiera?”
He winced. “Last year at her birthday party. It was just a kiss, though. I … she wasn’t my first kiss. Maggie Druthers was. They were just kisses, though, Taran. I don’t want to go out with them. I want to go out with you.”
Quinn was the most honest person I knew. Sometimes kind of brutally honest. So, I believed him. “Okay.”
“What does that mean?”
“You can … kiss me. If you want.”
“I really want to.” He stepped closer. “Taran …” Quinn murmured my name seconds before his mouth touched mine. A gentle press. Then he brushed his lips a few times over mine and I felt tingles explode down my limbs.
I pushed up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips more firmly to his.
His hands touched my waist, pulling me closer.
When he lifted his head, his cheeks were flushed. My legs shook as we parted.
My first kiss.
A giddy smile pressed at the corners of my mouth, and Quinn grinned a wee bit smugly as he held out his hand to mine. “You want to come over to mine to do your homework?”
Mum would still be at her store, Pages & Perks, so the house would be empty.
I’d much rather go home with Quinn. I nodded and took his hand.
Quinn’s palms were a bit sweaty as he tightened his grip on me, and it made me realize just how nervous he’d been to ask me out.
“So … are we like boyfriend and girlfriend now?” I teased, feeling a little more at ease.
Chuckling, Quinn squeezed my hand. “Aye, we’re like boyfriend and girlfriend now.”
My first kiss, my first boyfriend.
I leaned into him, and he couldn’t keep the cheesy grin off his face, which just made me smile harder.
Right then I threw a wish out to the universe that Quinn McQuarrie would be my first and my last.