Chapter 11
December, Nineteen Years Ago
If this guy touched Taran’s knee one more time, I was going to fucking lose it.
I’d never considered myself an angry bloke. In most situations I could keep calm, even when someone was pushing my buttons.
Unfortunately, I was already on edge before I’d even arrived in Glasgow, never mind to the pub in the west end of the city near the university campus.
Taran was off. Distant. When she moved to Glasgow at the end of August for her first year at uni, she’d been determined to make our relationship work.
But about a month in, her calls and texts came fewer and farther between.
I told myself it was just because she had a heavy workload.
She was always studying. When she was supposed to come home for the weekend, she’d cancel because of an essay she had to write.
Yet, when we did finally catch up with each other, she was full of chat about this party she went to and that bar crawl she did or the pub quiz she and her pals won.
She wasn’t too busy to socialize. Just too busy for me.
I’d come to Glasgow several times to spend the weekend with her.
It was strained between us at first, which I hated because until now, being with each other had always been easy.
However, by the end of my stay, we felt like us again.
I didn’t like some of her new friends. They made me feel small and uneducated.
I hated not knowing what Taran was talking about, so I’d find used copies of the books she was reading for her lit class to read myself.
Then I could at least follow along with the conversation if anyone, including Taran, ever decided to ask my opinion.
They never did.
She never did.
So I kept quiet. Then we’d get back to her dorm, and she’d accuse me of being cold toward her pretentious new friends.
And then there was this guy.
Julian Kenilworth.
Some posh moneyed bloke from down south who had a clear hard-on for my girlfriend.
I tried to make Taran see it, but she insisted they were just friends.
It didn’t seem to matter to her that it bothered me this guy was in her dorm room with her alone some nights “studying” or that he couldn’t fucking have a conversation without touching her.
Not to mention when Taran wasn’t aware of it, he eyed her tits and arse with a look I knew all too well.
Four months Taran had been off the island.
Four months for her to drift away.
It was like she didn’t need me anymore and was too afraid to tell me.
The thought of losing her made me feel desperate and resentful.
It reminded me of the first person I loved who walked away, like it was easy for him.
“That’s not what I said to the professor,” Taran argued with Julian, a playful smile on her lush mouth.
I had lost all thread of the conversation.
“Oh my bloody God, Taran, you absolutely did.” Julian reached over and squeezed his hand around her thigh … and kept it there.
That was it.
I grabbed his hand and threw it off her.
He blinked at me in shock as Taran froze.
“Mate, if you keep touching my girlfriend’s anything, you and I are going to have a problem,” I bit out in a soft, threatening tone.
Julian blanched, his cheeks turning red. “Sorry. I didn’t … yeah, sorry.” There was a horrible moment of awkward silence, but I didn’t care because I was seething.
Finally, Julian broke it by standing up, bumping into the table as he did. “You know, I think I’ll just head off.” He was gone before anyone could reply.
My girlfriend’s friends looked around at one another with nervous, wide eyes.
Taran sat stiff beside me, her lips pinched. “Can we leave too?”
“Aye, I think that’s best.”
Taran gave her friends a strained smile. “I’ll catch up with you lot later.”
A chorus of feeble goodbyes followed us out of the pub.
As soon as we cleared those doors, Taran whirled on me. “What the actual hell was that?”
Tamping down my temper, I gave her a warning glance. “If some lassie was constantly pawing at me, you would be the first to say something. Or do you not remember telling Kiera Donnelly to get her ‘grubby hands’ off me at the Christmas ceilidh last year?”
Taran harrumphed and stormed away.
Aye, she knew I was right.
Pot calling the kettle black and all that shite.
I followed her but halted when she whipped around, her long hair flying with the movement.
She stomped back toward me, cheeks flushed from the cold, her gorgeous dark eyes glittering with annoyance.
Christ, it was irritating how beautiful she was when she was pissed off.
“That is different. For years, Kiera has made it very clear she’s just waiting on the sidelines for you. Julian is only a friend.”
“Julian wants to fuck you, Taran. Don’t be so naive.” I flicked her a disgusted look as I walked away.
“I told him we’re just friends.”
That stopped me in my tracks. “Are you telling me you know he fancies you?”
She shifted uncomfortably on her feet. “He might have kissed me a few weeks ago. But I set him straight.”
The urge to hunt the wee prick down was real, but there was a far more worrying thought in my mind. “Has he been alone with you in your dorm room since you discovered how he feels about you?”
She threw up her arms. “So what if he has? I’m not going to cheat, and that’s what should matter to you.”
“Aye. What about you asking me not to speak to Kiera unless you’re there? So what? Only you can be trusted not to cheat? Is that the deal?”
Her expression slackened. “No.” Taran exhaled. “Fuck, no. You’re right. I know you’re right. I’m sorry. But … Quinn, you embarrassed me in front of my friends.”
“I embarrassed you?” I huffed in disbelief.
“You, who sits there and says nothing while they make derogatory comments about people who aren’t seeking a university education?
You who sits there while another bloke paws at you in front of your boyfriend like it’s no big deal?
You who accuses me of being standoffish to your horrible, judgmental, pretentious arsehole friends, having conversations with them like I’m not even here?
Dragging me out to a pub to be with them on the only weekend I’ve gotten to see you in weeks, when you get to see those idiots all the time? ”
Taran gaped at me in shock. Then a snicker nearby drew her gaze and she shook her head. “Let’s not have this discussion in public.”
“Fine, but we are having this discussion.”
We returned to her dorm room in tense, ugly silence and as soon as the door shut behind us, Taran let loose. “I can’t do this, Quinn!”
Her yell wobbled with her tears.
My heart sank into my stomach. “Can’t do what?”
“This.” She sobbed, gesturing between us, tears streaming down her face. “I feel guilty all the time for having a life here in Glasgow. You always seem mad or disappointed in me, and I can’t do it.”
“I’m not.” I took a pleading step toward her. “I just want you to remember that we’re in a relationship.”
“I do. But this is a big adjustment. And I feel like we’re on such different paths right now.” Taran ran a shaky hand through her hair and shrugged unhappily. “I think … I think we should take a break.”
Fuck.
Fuck!
Her words winded me.
“Mo luaidh … stop. Okay? Just take a minute. I know I didn’t handle the Julian and pub situation very well, but that doesn’t mean we rush into breaking up.”
Taran stepped forward, hiccupping with her tears.
“I need some time alone. I’m not saying it’s forever.
I just need time to figure out what I want.
” She looked really young. So young. Even though I was a year older, I’d never felt that young.
Not since having to step into a role of responsibility after my dad left.
Was I holding her back?
Was I pulling her down?
Was I too old in mind and set in my ways?
I wasn’t adventurous enough for her anymore.
I was just an ordinary bloke who didn’t want to leave the island I grew up on, who liked working with his hands, and hoped to have his own construction company one day.
I was starting classes at a community college in Oban to help me get there, and that was the extent of my ambition.
Taran talked about traveling the world and maybe doing a PhD.
For months and months, I’d been denying the fact that Taran’s avoidance of talking about settling down on the island with me after her degree meant something.
Oh aye, it meant something all right.
Taking some time or breaking up … it was the same thing.
“Right, then. I’ll go.”
“Quinn.” She sobbed my name. “Please. I just need some time—”
“Nah. I get it.” I couldn’t look at her. if I looked at her, I would fall apart. Snatching up my backpack, I turned and left to the sound of her crying out my name.