5. Chapter 5
Standing outside the doors to the Lido Deck, my stomach growls with a hunger for sausage.
My feet, however, would rather I starve, and it doesn’t help that I skipped dinner last night.
Sleeping was out of the question once night came.
Leo dishing up memories of that night played on repeat in my head, and I still can’t seem to shake it, with no way to shut it off.
Every time I tried to drift off, I’d get that sick feel in my gut all over again.
The sliding glass doors open and shut in front of me as people shuffle around me. Rubbing the silk fabric of my sundress between my fingers, my body shivers as I imagine everyone’s eyes on me as I find our table—the way Justin’s eyes might look at me.
What if Justin overheard? Would he care? What if he gets the wrong idea?
Stepping back from the doors to make a beeline for the elevators, I hit something hard. It grabs onto my arms, setting me up straight.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” I say in a rush as my hand comes to my mouth when I turn to meet the stranger. He smiles down at me, the slight curl of his hair falling forward onto his forehead. “Justin.”
“Don’t apologize,” he says, putting his hands up as if to brush it off. “I shouldn’t have walked up on you like that. Are you okay?”
I nod, swallowing hard to gather a semblance of normalcy. “I’m fine. Hungry, but fine,” I chuckle.
“Good. You didn’t come to dinner last night, so I just wanted to be sure.”
“Right, that.” My hand smooths over my dress as I look into the open doors again. “I wasn’t really feeling good after the dance lesson, but I’m fine now.”
He smiles at me sweetly, and my stomach dips. “Good. We should be docking soon anyway, so we should eat while we can. I’m sure Elijah is already sending out a search party for us.”
Letting out an awkward laugh that sounds more like a crushed toad, I follow him out onto the Lido Deck, where groups of people are standing in lines or chatting loudly at tables.
I knew they’d be sitting on the inside portion where the buffet is, and it’s quieter.
It’s less scary approaching eight pairs of eyes with Justin—especially with the curious glare Carmin was giving me that I’m pretending not to notice—but even harder to keep my composure when he rests his hand on the small of my back just before pulling out a chair for me.
I wish my heart would catch up with my head because moments like this may be all I’ll ever get.
“Look who finally decided to join us,” Elijah mocks, but I know him better than to assume it’s a silly joke.
I skipped out on the first dinner, which I know was important to him and Melody because they planned damn near every second of this trip for us and made sure we all knew where to be and when.
I needed time to regulate and be alone. Not that Elijah cares since he spent much of his time reminding me of how I need to get out more and push myself.
Putting on a smile, I shrug it off. “I overslept, sorry.”
“Well, as long as you’re making it to the excursion this afternoon. We booked everyone a walking culinary tour.”
“Didn’t we do that the last time we were in Florence?” I mumble.
“What?”
“I said that’s great.” Ensuring an enthusiastic response this time. “I’m so excited.”
I excuse myself from the table to head to the buffet, nearly drooling when I see a fresh tray of diced potatoes being put out.
For such an expensive cruise, the food isn’t that great, but the potatoes are one of the few things they’ve managed to get right.
Things seem alright for a few seconds until Leo steps beside me in line.
“Don’t you already have enough food?” I question as I scoop a nice helping of potatoes onto my plate.
He shrugs. “I have a big appetite.”
“Figures. Meanwhile, I don’t know if it’s the ship that’s making me sick or you.” Passing up the eggs, I take a few pieces of sausage and a yogurt before turning to him again. “What do you want?”
“Food—”
“Don’t lie, Leo. We’re halfway down the buffet, and you haven’t even looked at your plate or the food. So, why are you following me?”
“I’m not following you. I just happen to appear wherever you are.
” My glare hardens, and he purses his lips as his hand comes to the back of his neck.
“I wanted to apologize yesterday. I hadn’t realized that night wasn’t as fun for you as it looked.
I just assumed you were okay with it, and I’m sorry for that. ”
Shaking my head, I allow myself to relax before it all stirs up again. “It’s fine. I’d rather not talk about it at all.”
“Understood.”
“Thank you.” I let out a groan as I walk toward the pastries and notice all the blueberry muffins are gone. “I really don’t want to be here, much less with you and Elijah being the duo you are—no offense.”
He smirks as we make our way back to the table. “None taken. I was kinda an asshole growing up.”
“Kinda?” I chuckle.
“Fine. I was a huge asshole. I’m sorry.”
“At least you weren’t as bad as Elijah,” I tease as we share a laugh. “For what it’s worth, that night wasn’t all that bad.” The look on Leo’s face is just as surprised as I feel saying it.
“Really?” Leo challenges with a hint to wonder. “Do tell.”
“Alright, don’t get ahead of yourself,” I say as I make my way back to the table.
Granted, that night will continue to haunt me, and the relentless teasing did its damage long ago; I didn’t hate the kiss.
It was the fact that I vomited on him right after that sends me into a tailspin.
I can play nice for the next six days if I really need to.
I can enjoy this trip, and maybe a little something on the side.