10. Chapter 10
Ibusy myself with making a makeshift ice pack with an empty grocery bag I found at the bottom of my suitcase and a towel, making sure to tie everything up tight so that nothing leaks.
When I come back to where I left Leo on the couch, he’s still looking around my room like a little kid in a candy store.
I can’t help but roll my eyes despite the small, foolish smile that slips onto my face at his awe.
“Will you stop looking like that?” I question, before moving to fix his foot on top of the throw pillow and resting the ice carefully on top.
It’s not bleeding—hopefully it’s not broken—but it’s definitely bruised and a little swollen.
I wince with him as the smallest brush seems to make him squirm. “Sorry.”
“Please stop apologizing,” Leo says pleadingly, but pain is written all over his expression. “When were you going to tell us you had this whole suite to yourself while the rest of us are packed into those tiny ass rooms? I would have been over here.”
I scoff as I carefully readjust the ice bag. “Who said I’d let you in, especially uninvited? You’re only here because you’re hurt. It’s not a big deal, and neither is this suite. It’s a pity gift more than anything.”
“What do you mean, a pity gift?”
I curse myself for saying too much. “Nothing. I think you should sleep here for the night until the swelling goes down; I’ve already texted Eli. Are you hungry? Because I can order room service? Or I can go up to the Lido Deck and grab us some—”
“You’re rambling,” Leo interjects. “Are we ever allowed to have a normal conversation without you being avoidant or completely disregarding me?”
“We could if you had something intelligent to say.”
“Gina.” Leo takes the ice bag I’m holding, his hand coming over mine briefly, and a chill creeps up my forearm.
He ducks his head to really look at me, but I refuse to meet his gaze.
“Thank you for this, but I’d really like it if we could stop whatever song and dance this is.
We’re both grown, and I’m not going to sit here and pretend like some shit didn’t go down with you at the club tonight. ”
Shaking my head, I close my hands in my lap. “It’s—”
“Don’t say nothing.” His voice is demanding—looming. Giving me no choice but to look up at him, a hard look of concern etched between his brows.
I take a deep breath as I move my hands down my thighs and back up again.
I hate to admit that he’s right, but he is.
The constant push and pull to keep people away is exhausting, but it’s safe.
It’s how I stay sane, even if I have to be alone to do it.
Still, I long to have people know me so deeply that safety is never a question.
I didn’t think that’d start with my brother’s annoying best friend, but it’s not like he doesn’t already know about most of my most shameful moments.
“It’s a pity gift because my parents don’t actually care about me or what I want.
It’s a ‘Poor, Gina. Nothing Like This Ever Happens To Her, So Let’s Get Her The Biggest Suite We Can To Make Up For Her Lack Of Success Because At Least She Tries And We Love Her Anyway’ gift,” I say in one smooth exhale.
He sits up, clenching his teeth, and I help to adjust the pillow again. “What do you mean?”
“My parents do love me, but they love me second to Eli. I’ve always been second best because he’s the first. All of the big milestones were his first, and because of that, mine were celebrated in passing.
It’s like I exist in small, pitiful moments and nothing more.
They think throwing money at me is sufficient enough, but I guess I can’t complain.
” Laughing to myself, I almost hate how relieving this feels.
To say it out loud without hesitation or consequence.
“But that’s always been my life. I’m always second, even tonight. ”
Leo’s hand finds mine, and he pulls it into his lap as his thumb brushes over my knuckles, and I allow myself to relax.
“I’m sorry that they make you feel that way.
I know that’s tough and you deserve better than that.
” He squeezes my hand, and I feel a small smile tug at the corner of my mouth.
“And tonight… I saw what happened tonight, and I’m so sorry, Gina.
I know you might feel like this is a pattern for you, but that doesn’t make Justin any less of an asshole for what he did. ”
I shrug. “He doesn’t owe me anything.”
“But he does, and I know he knows he does because he told me he wanted to make a move on you tonight.” His words ricochet in the space between us, and my breath weighs down in my chest.
“He what?”
“That’s why I was at the club. I…” Leo moves in closer to me, his fingers caressing the inside of my wrist. “Gina, I know I’ve been a pain in the ass these past few days—years.
But I need you to know that it’s not always been a game to me.
I know I don’t show it in the best ways, and I regret some of that, but I hear me when I say this: I want you.
I’ve wanted you for years, and make no mistake that I will do what it takes to have you. ”
I draw my hand away from his and search his expression in doubt, waiting for the slip of his mask. “You’ve been drinking.”
“I haven’t.” He brushes my hair behind my ear and gently cups my cheek again to make sure I see every ounce of sincerity in his eyes. “You have always been first to me, Gina.”
All I can do is stare at him. His full lips, the sharp edge of his jaw, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, the way his tongue darts out to pull in his bottom lip, and the way I have to pretend like every bite of him and his touch isn’t melting me the same way I did when he kissed me that night.
My body slowly leans into him as if he were a guiding light. “Don’t say what you don’t mean.”
“I always mean what I say when it comes to you. Let me prove it to you. Please, Gina.”
Gingerly, my hand comes to his chest, admiring the hard muscle underneath the soft cotton.
Coming over his shoulder, I allow my nails to graze the back of his neck, eliciting a quiet sigh from his lips.
Leo’s thumb caresses along my jaw before finding its way under my chin, gently lifting it so that I’m perfectly aligned with him.
A fire lights in my core, and I know this isn’t a battle my mind can win.
Please let him say something stupid right now to ruin this moment.
I pause, hesitating as my breath mingles in the space between us that’s grown smaller by the second.
Our noses lightly brush against each other, teasing what’s to come—what we know won’t wait any longer.
Leo waits for me kindly as I let my lips fall onto his.
Soft and tender at first, before all of me opens to him.
I shift my body closer, and his hand comes to my waist to hold me against him.
Our mouths move eagerly together as the kiss deepens and I allow my walls to crumble brick by brick.
This is what it’s supposed to feel like.
A hunger fueled with compassion, patience, and understanding. Safe.
Leo’s hands move over my body with curiosity and affection, studying me in a way I’d only known to be greedy and hurried.
His fingers draw over my stomach, my hips, and my back as if to memorize every line and curve as if he’s worried he’d forget in the morning.
He breaks the kiss, and I almost let out a little whine before it catches in my throat as his lips land on my neck sweetly, breathing me in with each deliberate touch of his lips on my skin.
I want more of him, and I’m so close to letting it all go before he stops suddenly and looks up at me.
I sit up, feeling myself withdraw inward despite Leo’s firm grasp on me. “Is something wrong?” I ask quietly.
He smiles before placing another kiss on my lips. “Everything is perfect. I just don’t want to rush this, especially if—”
“I don’t feel rushed,” I clarify hurriedly. “I mean, I didn’t mind where things were going, or I hope they were going.”
“Oh, they were.” Leo chuckles. “But it’s been a long night, and you were having a panic attack less than 30 minutes ago. I want you to think about it before we go any further. I don’t want just sex from you. I want something real with you, but only if you tell me you want that too.”
My eyes widen with confusion. “Oh, you’re being serious.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I just… I—”
Leo grabs my hand, squeezing it gently. “Trust and believe me when I say I want more than one night. You can trust me.”
I nod slowly, but my mind is racing, trying to wrap itself around what the hell is happening. And why am I liking it?
“What happened to doing whatever it takes?” I ask, a hint of playful concern in my tone.
“I never said I’d give up trying, but love is a conscious choice we make to continue to show up and be the person we need to be for those we love. I’ve already chosen you.”