Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Dariel didn’t know how to feel. He’d gone through every emotion he had the ability to experience in such a short space of time, and it made him rather nauseous.
Godwin led the way upstairs, nodding to himself. Athens turned back to Dariel with a tongue-in-cheek side eye.
It was clear now why the upstairs had been out of bounds.
Godwin hadn’t wanted them to know his plan yet. He’d wanted to get to know them both before he asked them what he just did.
The bedroom.
When Godwin’s confession emerged, Dariel was immediately shocked—then intrigued. He wanted to die, which hurt Dariel a great deal, but before his death, he desired a bed partner. One final time. To die with relief.
The thought sent blood rushing to Dariel’s cheeks—the constant anatomical marvel he would never understand.
He shook the question away, not wanting to dwell on the sensations the thought of being in Godwin’s bed with the man by his side, on top of him, made him feel.
He focused on Godwin’s back up the stairs: the way he slightly favoured his right side, the ruffle of his shirt under the superbly fitted waist coat, and the multitude of colours woven into his hair—all silver and gold and sun-spun silk.
Stop it, Dariel. He said it himself! He had not expected you both. It was Athens who promised to grant his wish. You will be on your way soon. No longer needed.
But the very idea of the slender, leather clad, obsidian dream of a man taking Godwin to bed alone was torture. And Dariel didn’t quite know who he was more jealous of.
He noted the hot peach flush to Godwin’s cheeks as he turned to the top of the stairs, then his eyes lowered to the banister, and to the onyx, slightly pointed nails on each now ringless finger of Athens’ hand.
You really must stop this, Dariel. It will do you no good.
‘What are you thinking, darling?’
Dariel stopped dead, three steps from the top, the other two men staring down, waiting for him.
‘Oh, I… I’m not quite sure.’
‘Your mind seemed occupied. Do not worry, I have this whole evening under control.’
Dariel attempted to smile, nodding his head subtly as he reached the top.
Athens raised his arm out to clap a hand on Dariel’s back, which made him shudder.
Don’t tease me, please. Though how could he forget the way Athens had spoken to him earlier? Had that all been a ruse? Or did Athens really still like him? You only met this evening.
It confused him, and the past half an hour had done nothing to help ease his mind in any way.
“It’s err, right this way, gents,” Godwin said with his hands on his hips. If he noticed any intimacy to the patting gesture, he did not show it. He guided the pair of them towards a far door—one they hadn’t gotten around to trying earlier.
Godwin produced a bunch of keys from his pocket—quite a large bunch they were—and unlocked the door to reveal a relatively small room in comparison to most others they’d seen. It was still larger than any spare room Dariel had owned though, even in his richest days.
It was a cold, cream painted room that smelled slightly foisty, with the two sash windows on the far wall sealed shut with glossy white paint.
In one corner stood a green velvet chaise lounge, rimmed in ornate brass, and behind it was a wall of built-in shelves with glass doors.
On the right wall closest to the door stood a relatively retro record player, but far more modern than Dariel expected.
Something that may have been state of the art some thirty years ago, but now a worn and slightly dented sign of the times.
Two large speakers were bolted to the wall above it, the metal supports having been painted over a number of times to be concealed.
The floor was covered in a deep green carpet, which was notably thread bare in some patches.
This struck Dariel as a once loved room, but one that had not been touched in a number of years.
A collection of framed posters were stacked in the corner, the front showing a deep blue image of someone swimming—
“Oh, cool! Siouxsie and the Banshees!” Athens dove over to the pictures, dropping to his knees immediately and pulling the frame out with both hands to admire, dusting it off. Godwin walked over behind him with a small gruff of a chuckle, hands back on his hips.
“Ah, yes. I told you I was quite a fan of that stuff once. Late seventies, early eighties… I used to allow myself some joys,” he said.
Athens turned to him, looking up with pleading, puppy dog eyes, not allowing Godwin to dwell. “You need to show me your collection, right now.”
Dariel decided to step over to join them, otherwise he would very quickly begin to feel left out. He watched as Godwin opened the cabinets to reveal boxes and boxes filled with 12-inch records, pulling out the closest one and dusting the decades of dust from the lid before opening it.
Athens sneezed into his elbow then began rummaging eagerly.
Dariel swallowed. He was much more of a nineties man, never cared for eighties music as much as he would have liked, despite spending most of that decade in America, surrounded by the stuff.
He spent most of the early nineties, before his career really kicked off, dancing from club-to-club with dance anthem after dance anthem, bouncing around until the drink knocked him out, or he simply ran out of breath. Quite a time to remember.
He hadn’t noticed Godwin had turned to face him. “What sort of music do you like, Dariel?” he asked, green eyes glinting.
Athens’ head was deep inside the cupboard.
“Oh, well. A bit of everything, I suppose. I lost a lot of time for music once my work took over.”
“A shame. We have both been robbed of our joys then,” Godwin asserted, which Dariel knew was intended as a joke, but it still struck him as odd. Both of them had plenty of free rein over whether they chose to listen to music or not. Dariel couldn’t find the time, Godwin didn’t want to.
“A classic!” Athens broke the moment by pulling out a plastic-coated LP and holding it up like the body of Christ in Communion.
Dariel didn’t recognise the gold cover. Godwin took a moment to take it in before his face changed. “Oh, my. A throwback indeed, if only I had a working player. The radio truly does disappoint these days.”
Athens smirked. “Oh, my dear Godwin, let me introduce you to the iPod. Give me a second…” he carefully replaced the LP then ran out of the door. Dariel heard the distant heavy stomps of his feet hurry down the stairs. He breathed out into the sudden silence, losing his voice momentarily.
“He’s a sprightly fellow now, isn’t he?” Godwin stood, shaking his head. Then he looked head on at Dariel. “Must be nice looking at everyone your real age knowing you’ll never grow old. I’ve not been able to run that fast in donkey’s years.”
Dariel kept his face blank. “Growing old is natural,” he said.
“You’re right, but still,” Godwin stepped closer, “it must be freeing.”
“Maybe sometimes. It’s not as magical as it sounds though. I worry…” Dariel swallowed, “I worry one day I will begin to forget my earliest memories, like a child can’t remember learning to walk, but instead I’ll forget I was ever human at all. The time will come when this will be all I know.”
Before Godwin could respond, Athens ran back into the room holding the latest MP3 with earphones, wheezing. “Here… look…” he said, unwinding the wires from the device.
“I… I do know what an iPod is, I’m not a true hermit. I have the internet.” Godwin sounded mildly offended, but kept his tone light. He briefly glanced at Dariel, acknowledgement from their unfinished conversation in his eyes, before looking down at the player in Athens’ hands.
“Ahh, you don’t own one though, do you? You do not understand the excitement of being able to download 80GB of songs…
Do you know how many songs that could be?
All within the push of a button? It’s truly ingenious.
Here… I have the perfect song.” Athens reached over to Godwin with one earbud in hand, the other already in his own ear.
Dariel took a step back. Neither of them looked at him now, at least not while he took in the sight of them both beginning to smile and nod their heads to the beat of the tune. One Dariel couldn’t hear.
Perhaps this was truly where his own evening should end. He should call a cab home, or at least ask to retire to one of the bedrooms alone. Athens seemed perfectly capable of handling the rest of the evening without him, had even expressed so… it would be fine if he just…
“Here, Dariel, listen. You can’t not enjoy this song!” Athens had pulled out his own earbud and was dangling the wire in Dariel’s direction.
Oh.
He accepted, stepping over and taking Athens’ place, turning to Godwin as the music commenced.
Oh.
“Good, no? The sound quality is insane.” Athens was beaming, black-lined eyes wide as he nodded along to the tune he couldn’t even hear anymore.
‘You can borrow it whenever you like.’
Dariel sharply turned his head to Athens, the bud falling out and dangling on the wire. His brow tensed.
‘You…’
Athens folded his arms; Godwin retrieved the other bud and enjoyed the music to the fullest.
‘You can tell me what stuff you like, maybe I can broaden my horizons.’
‘You want to spend more time with me still?’
‘Is that truly such a shock to you?’
‘But I thought… what you said to Godwin…’
“Athens! A gem! You’ve reawakened something in me, ha!” Godwin shouted loudly over the music in his ears. He was shuffling his feet in the slightest effort of a dance.
“You like?” Athens asked, reaching over to Godwin and adjusting the earphones in his ears, their skin touching as he did so, Dariel noticed. The pair locked eyes for a moment which caused Dariel’s stomach to sink.
Why couldn’t he understand what was going on?
“This really takes me back. Ha! I’m in my early thirties again. I’ve not heard this song since…” Godwin’s face dropped slightly.