Everly
EVERLY
I kissed Rhett’s forehead and tucked the covers around him. “Sleep well, baby.”
“Mommy?”
“Yeah, honey?”
“Can we stay here forever?”
My heart squeezed. I brushed a lock of his silky hair to one side. “No, baby. This isn’t our home.”
He pouted. “But I like it here.”
So do I. Too much.
“Racing tomorrow,” I said, hoping to distract him. “Now go to sleep. Otherwise, you’ll be too tired to go.”
He immediately closed his eyes. The worst thing in the world to Rhett was missing his beloved karting. He’d already missed two sessions due to my illness. Nico could have taken him, but, apparently, he hadn’t wanted to leave me. I tried not to read too much into that, though it was hard not to sometimes.
I flicked off the light and closed Rhett’s door. As I made my way downstairs, my legs felt all wobbly in anticipation of the evening ahead, and my pulse raced far faster than normal. As I approached the kitchen, the most delicious smells assailed me. Nico must have made good on his promise and ordered in. My stomach rumbled. I’d barely eaten this past week, and I must have lost at least seven pounds. That meant I could indulge without worrying about my waistline. And I intended to—in more ways than one.
“That smells amazing,” I said. “What is it?”
“Lamb ragout,” he replied, glancing over at me with a smile that showed off his dimple and melted my insides. “My mother makes the best one, but this is a close second.”
“Do your parents live in England?”
He nodded, passing a glass of wine to me.
“You must miss them,” I said, taking it from him.
“I do. I should make more time to visit them, especially now that I no longer race, but there’s always stuff to do at the track, and taking a chunk of time off isn’t that easy.”
I sat at the kitchen table and sipped the wine, dry with hints of gooseberry. Delicious. I didn’t know a lot about wine, but I still knew enough to recognize a good one when I tasted it. “I understand. My parents moved to Mexico a few years ago when my dad retired from his job, and I’ve only seen them once since they left the US. I don’t have the money to fly down there, and they can’t afford to come back here either. I miss them so much.”
He set down two plates of food and took the seat across the table from me. “I admire the hell out of you,” he said.
My eyebrows shot up. “Why?”
He picked up his glass of wine but didn’t drink. “Because you just keep going, . Life dealt you a shitty hand, but you’re not bitter and twisted. You didn’t allow what happened to you to spill over into your kid like so many parents do when their relationship turns sour.”
“That’s not true. I’ve never bad-mouthed Paul in front of Rhett, and I never would, but I didn’t save him from the effects of what happened either. If I’d been such a successful mother, as you claim, I wouldn’t have needed to apply to your school.”
He pulled his lips to one side almost as if he disagreed with me but wasn’t prepared to put the argument out there. “Was Paul a good father?”
I picked up a fork and stabbed a chunk of meat. “Mostly, yes.” I slipped it into my mouth, where it melted. “Wow, you weren’t wrong about this lamb.”
“And what about a partner?” he pressed. “Was he a good partner to you?”
I ate another piece, chewing slower to buy myself thinking time. “In the beginning, I guess, yeah. But over time, not so much.” I shook my head, unsure of why I was even telling him this. There was something about him that made me relax and share more than I meant to. “He’d get angry for no reason, almost as if he despised me. As the years went on, he started to come home later and later after work, and if I asked him where he’d been or why he was late, he’d fly off the handle.”
“Did he ever hit you?” he asked, his jaw locked tight, a pulse thrumming in his cheek.
“No. And he never touched Rhett either, or even yelled at him. He only ever yelled at me.” I bit the inside of my cheek. “I don’t believe he was a bad man, but he clearly wasn’t happy either. If he had been, he wouldn’t have left. I just wish he’d have talked to me rather than disappearing. He chose to take the coward’s way out of whatever was eating at him.”
“Is that what you think? He simply upped and left?”
I nodded. “Now I do, yeah. When it first happened, I went into a complete panic, imagining him lying hurt in a ditch somewhere, needing my help, slowly dying in pain. But after the police searched and searched and came up with nothing, I eventually had to accept that he’d simply left.” I shrugged. “For all I know, he’s living with someone else, maybe bringing up a family with her.”
I couldn’t suppress the wince that came out of me. Nico narrowed his eyes.
“Do you still love him?” he asked, eyes bleak, a dullness to their normal piercing green.
“I’ll never be able to forgive him for what he did to Rhett,” I replied, not a complete answer but the only one I knew how to respond with, with a hundred percent accuracy. Paul had been gone so long that I wasn’t sure of my feelings for him any longer. I didn’t think I loved him anymore, if I ever had, but I couldn’t swear to it. Emotions were strange beasts, and I couldn’t dispute that Paul had been my first, my only, and together we’d made Rhett.
Nico’s cheek bulged where he poked his tongue, and he lowered his gaze to his food. “I see.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “That came out wrong.”
He held up his hand but still kept his attention on his food. “It’s fine, .”
My stomach lurched. This wasn’t how I’d intended this conversation to go.
“It’s complicated. I was very young and impressionable when we met. Toward the end, before he left, things were difficult between us, but my parents brought me up to work at relationships, to not give in at the first sign of trouble. Mom and Dad married thirty-five years ago, although they’d be the first to admit that not all of those years have been happy ones. But equally, since Paul walked out on us, I’ve changed. Who knows whether I’d even like him if he ever came home? I’m a different person now, and especially in the last two months.” I paused. “Since I met you.”
He gave me his eyes then, lifting his chin slowly. “I don’t want to make your life any more complicated. You’ve got more than enough on your plate as it is.”
I bit my lip, my fingertips plucking the skin at my throat. He’d changed his mind about us. I didn’t blame him. If he’d had a wife or a girlfriend who’d run off and I’d asked him if he still loved her, and he hadn’t instantly rejected the suggestion, I’d feel exactly the same way as he did right now.
My appetite waned, and I dropped my fork, getting to my feet.
“I’ll clear this away,” I said.
I set my half-eaten plate of food next to the sink and stared into his backyard. The moon cast a glow across the swimming pool, and it occurred to me how different our lives were. We were from completely opposite sides of the track.
I twisted around to face him. “I should leave.”
His head snapped up, and he dropped his silverware with a clang. “Don’t.” He pushed back his chair and stood, eating up the distance between us, and planted his hands on either side of the counter, trapping me in place. “Don’t leave. I want you to stay.”
I breathed in the scent of his cologne, my stomach twisting with need. He was standing so close, and I just wanted… him.
“I can’t tell you that I don’t still have feelings for Paul, Nico, because I honestly don’t know the answer to that question. I’m hurt and angry, and, yeah, we’d had problems long before he disappeared. I think I’ll only know for sure how I feel if I ever see him again.” I sighed. “Sorry, but I have to tell you the truth as I see it.”
His hands traced up my sides, over my waist, brushing the curve of my breasts. He cupped my cheeks, tilting my face up to his. Goosebumps broke out all over my body, and I shivered, not from cold but from his touch.
“Then allow me to be honest as well. I want you more than I’ve wanted a woman in a very long time, but I don’t want to be the one responsible for breaking up a family. If being with me muddies the waters over your feelings for Paul, then I’d rather step away.” He twisted his lips to the side in a wry smile. “I’m rubbish at commitment anyway.”
No. I wouldn’t come this close to a shot at happiness and simply let it go so easily. Not because of a man like Paul.
I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to Nico’s. “I’m not asking for commitment. I’m attracted to you, and you’re attracted to me. It’s been so long, Nico. I miss sex. I miss intimacy. I want to have those things with you for as long as it suits both our needs. And when it doesn’t?” I tucked my hair behind my ear. “Then we call it quits and go our separate ways. No hard feelings. No drama.”
His eyes locked on mine, and the groan that spilled from his lips sounded like an animal in pain. His mouth crashed down on mine, greedy and reckless and impatient. I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, cursing that he hadn’t chosen clothing that was easier to get inside. In my haste, I tugged the material apart, and a couple of buttons shot across the room.
“Relax,” he murmured, pressing soft kisses to my neck. “We have all night.”
I took in air through gasping little sips, my heart rate far above normal. “Later,” I panted, pulling at his belt. “Go slow later. Right now, I need you. I need this. I need fast.”
“Fuck,” he expelled, wrenching apart my dress.
I’d never been happier that I’d chosen a wraparound dress. Easy on. Easy off. The material fell to the floor, gathering in a bunch around my feet. Finally, I solved the belt issue, and with a single tug, the buttons on his jeans popped open. I burrowed inside, wrapping my hand around his thick, heavy shaft.
Jesus. He’s enormous. This is gonna hurt.
I didn’t remember him unfastening my bra, but I definitely recalled the way my stomach rolled when he dragged his teeth over my erect nipple. My chest pushed out and upward, ravenous for more contact.
He helped me shove his jeans and his boxers down his legs, and he kicked them off. They landed on top of the kitchen counter. I giggled. Nico cupped my face, laughing too.
“That’s how much I want you,” he said. “I feel like a teenager again. My patience is nonexistent.”
I swept my thumb across the head of his cock, collecting the moisture gathered there. I sucked the pad of my thumb into my mouth, gazing up at him coyly. “Then don’t wait.”
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath that came out in a rush, and then he spun me around, bending me over the countertop. His fingertips gripped my hips, and he lifted me. My cheek pressed against the cool granite, and I held my breath, anticipating the fullness, wanting it so goddamn much, my body craving what it was made for.
Nico tore apart the strip of lace masquerading as underwear, and then he was there, right fucking there . I tensed, preparing myself for a flash of pain, when he stopped.
“What are you doing?” I pushed back my hips, rising high on my tiptoes.
He cursed and dropped me. “The fucking condoms are in my jeans,” he said, taking two strides to fetch them, his gigantic cock bobbing as he moved.
I laughed, and when I started, I couldn’t stop.
“Dammit, I’m sorry,” Nico said, his cheeks darkening as he dug around in the left pocket, eventually producing a foil packet. “It’s been a long time. I’m seriously out of practice.”
“This is perfect,” I said, beckoning him, my eyes going all misty. “I don’t want movie sex, Nico. I want the real deal.”
He dropped the foil packet next to me, then pulled me close. He kissed me, softly, then with more urgency, the brief, unplanned interlude that allowed us to catch our breath evaporating. He picked me up and set me on the countertop, tugging at my legs until my ass rested on the edge. Ripping the condom packet with his teeth, he rolled it onto himself. His large hands pushed my thighs apart, and he stared.
“Jesus, . God, you’re soaked.”
He grazed his finger through my folds, then rubbed my clit, once. My head lolled back on my shoulders, and I closed my eyes, drowning in the sensations swamping me. I couldn’t think. I could only feel. And what I felt… blew my mind.
He gently pushed one finger inside me, quickly following up with a second, stretching me, preparing me. I’d thought I wanted fast. I didn’t want fast. I wanted this.
His mouth closed around my nipple, and he added a third finger. I gasped and clenched against a bite of pain that quickly faded. With his thumb, he drew circles around my clit, clockwise, counterclockwise, left to right.
“Oh God,” I moaned, a swell growing in my stomach. Not yet.
I forced my body to relax. If I tightened up now, I’d explode in seconds. Nico massaged my insides, and his teeth tugged on my nipple.
On a long, drawn-out groan, I shattered, coming around his fingers, the force of the climax stealing the breath from my lungs. Spots danced before my eyes, and my shoulders twitched in sympathy with my core.
My eyes slowly opened. Nico loomed over me, a satisfied grin stretching his lips wide. He sucked on his fingers, and everything south of my belly button constricted.
“Jesus, that’s hot.” I curled my legs around his waist. “Don’t make me wait.”
He slipped his hands beneath my ass, lifted me a few inches, and pushed forward, filling me in one smooth thrust. The work he’d done with his fingers meant I felt the smallest pinch, and then it got good. It got real good, real fast, especially when he started to move.
Sweat trickled between my breasts. His hips pistoned, and our skin made slapping sounds as our bodies connected. I gripped the edge of the countertop and thrust forward as he pushed in. I squeezed my inner muscles and watched his face tense and his pace slow.
“Fuck, don’t do that. If you keep clenching like that, I’ll only last, like, five seconds. After the condom debacle, I don’t think my ego could take the hit.”
I laughed, feeling freer, happier, than I had in years. Sex with Paul had been nothing like this. We’d never laughed during the act, even at the start of our relationship when it had been shiny and new. And I’d never felt the sensations scattering through my body and lodging in my chest as I did right this second. My eyes locked on Nico’s beautiful face, his jaw sewn up tight as he tried to stretch out this experience for as long as he could.
Another burgeoning wave grew inside me, and I instinctively knew that no amount of concentration could prevent the inevitable. I came, loudly, thanking my lucky stars that Nico’s house was so large there wasn’t a chance of Rhett hearing our noisy lovemaking. I did not need to try to find the words to explain to a six-year-old what his mother was doing lying naked on top of the kitchen countertop with an equally naked Nico suspended over her, both of us drenched in sweat.
“Ah, shit,” Nico groaned. His eyes squeezed shut. He thrust twice more, then stilled, pleasure smoothing his face. His dark hair clung to his neck and around his ears, and I reached up to brush a lock off his brow that’d fallen down.
“I think my back is broken,” I said, drawing a laugh from him.
He withdrew slowly, but I winced anyway. Damn, even when it was on the way down, he had an impressively sized cock. I sat up and slid off the counter while Nico removed the condom and walked, buck naked, across the kitchen to drop it in the trash.
“You have a real peachy ass,” I said.
He threw a grin over his shoulder and clenched each cheek in turn, putting on a show. I burst out laughing for the third time since we started getting up close and personal. As he came back to me, my eyes wandered, drinking in the ropes of lean muscle across his chest, the ridges of his abdomen showing off a clearly defined six-pack, the V at his hips that I wanted to explore with my tongue.
“If you keep looking at me like that, we’re never going to make it to the bed.”
I twisted my lips in a wry smile. “Comfort is overrated.”