Everly
EVERLY
“Way to go, Rhett,” I yelled, pride swelling inside my chest as I watched my little boy break his lap record for the second time today. When he’d arisen this morning, he hadn’t even mentioned the nightmare that had woken him, and his disturbed night’s sleep didn’t seem to have affected his reactions out on track one little bit.
When Nico first told me Rhett had a special gift for racing, I thought he was being kind, but now I’d started to believe him. The kids in Rhett’s group lagged far behind, yet they’d all received exactly the same instruction. What was it Nico had said to me this morning before he left for the track?
You can’t teach talent.
It looked as though I had a future racer on my hands.
These days, it was easier to swallow the fear that had threatened to consume me when Rhett first started racing. This was a dangerous sport, but not nearly as dangerous as people thought. There were so many safety measures developed over the years. Sometimes, given career-ending accidents like Nico’s, it was easy to believe that the drivers who raced took their lives into their hands every time they got behind the wheel. The reality was far from that. Nico had been unlucky, but on the whole, this was as safe a sport as any other.
Rhett hadn’t gotten into a single fight at school in the last few weeks, and after Nico’s visit to the Wilsons, he hadn’t mentioned any more issues with Brad either. Despite my initial anger at Nico’s interference, it appeared he’d done me a favor.
Memories of the last week, but particularly the last twenty-four hours, crept into my mind, and I smiled. I’d never imagined for a single second that sex could feel so good. With Paul, I’d enjoyed sex, but I hadn’t been immersed in the experience. With Nico, I couldn’t get enough. Even standing here surrounded by the smell of grease and oil and fumes, with the sound of roaring engines splitting my eardrums, all I could think about was what I wanted to do to him, and what I wanted him to do to me.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I withdrew it, and my heart tripped. I opened the text Nico had sent me.
Nico: I’m in my office, and I’m thinking about last night and the taste of you. Guess what else I’m doing?
My entire midsection tightened. I tapped out a response.
Yeah, I’m afraid I’m going to need to see some evidence.
He replied with a row of laughing emojis and a follow-up text. Nico: I’ll show you personal, tonight.
Ohhh. Nico touching himself in front of me had just jumped to the front of the line of my most coveted fantasies.
I’ll hold you to that, I replied.
He didn’t respond, and soon my attention returned to Rhett.
A short while later, Rhett pulled into the pit lane, his session over for today. I left the viewing gallery and made my way back to the main office and waiting area. Adele was hidden behind a pile of paperwork as normal, but she stopped typing as I appeared, and pointed to the chair closest to her desk, then rose to her feet.
“How about a coffee and a donut?”
“Sounds great,” I said, glancing around.
“He’s not here,” she said, an impish grin lifting her mouth at the corners. “He’s gone down to the pits.”
I poked my tongue into the side of my cheek. “Is it that obvious?”
“No. I took a stab in the dark. Thanks for confirming, though. I knew it had to be something big when Nico turned up this morning humming. Humming. The man growls. He doesn’t hum or sing, or whistle. Or even smile that often. But since you came into his life, he’s turned into the guy that Tate tells me about, the one I’ve never seen because I wasn’t around back in the day. But Tate reckons he was always laughing, joking, had a smile for everyone.” She poured two coffees and set them down on the table in front of me, then fetched a box of donuts. “I have a real soft spot for Nico, despite his grumpy demeanor, and to see him happy makes me happy.”
I chose a sugar-coated jelly donut and bit into it, heat snaking through my chest at Adele’s revelation. I’d done that. Me. I’d brought back Nico’s smile, the one I saw so readily given on the videos I’d watched of him back when he’d still raced cars for a living.
“It’s all still kinda new,” I said.
She made a zipping motion across her mouth with a pinched finger and thumb. “I won’t breathe a word.”
“Thanks.”
She changed the subject, telling me about her child developing into the kid from hell. I laughed, remembering the terrible twos myself.
“They grow out of it eventually,” I reassured her.
“Not soon enough,” she grumbled.
“Mommy!” Rhett appeared, flinging himself down next to me, squishing into the small space on the chair. “Did you see it? Did you?”
I smiled and kissed the top of his head. “I sure did.” My eyes lifted, locking onto Nico’s. A secret moment passed between us, one brought on by a new and exciting start to a relationship. I shivered with excitement, hungry for his touch but knowing I had a while to wait before we were alone. Once we were, though…
“Ready to go?” Nico asked. “I thought we could grab a bite to eat on the way home.”
I caught Adele’s surprised expression when Nico said “home,” but I also knew he meant it as a simple phrase, and not that it was our home. We were far, far from any kind of big step forward, and I’d already decided to talk to him after I put Rhett to bed this evening about moving back to my place tomorrow. I didn’t want Rhett to get used to the luxuries at Nico’s enormous beachside house and all the amenities right on his doorstep, not to mention the huge backyard with plenty of space for Rhett to let off steam and a pool for him to splash about in.
Even so, the idea of returning home, of not seeing Nico every day, made me more depressed than I ever wanted to begin to acknowledge. In a short time, he’d become not just an important person in my life, but in Rhett’s, too. And although Nico and I hadn’t discussed it, I could tell that the close bonds he’d built with Rhett were helping him overcome his own demons.
“Yeah,” Rhett said, leaping to his feet. “Can we have pizza?”
“Don’t ask me, bud.” Nico jerked his chin in my direction. “It’s up to your mum.”
Rhett spun around, his allegiance switching from Nico to me. “Can we, Mommy? Please?”
“On one condition,” I said, getting up. “That tomorrow, you eat every single vegetable I put on your plate without a murmur.”
Parenthood, I’d learned, was all about compromise with a healthy dose of bribery.
“I will,” he said.
I arched a brow.
“Promise,” he added with one of his impish grins that pulled at my heartstrings.
“You’d better.”
We arrived to find the pizza restaurant packed, but with a bit of fast-talking and flashing the dimple that made women promise their firstborns, Nico somehow jumped the line. We ordered two large pizzas between the three of us and milkshakes all round. The memory of that day at Archie’s pricked at me. That hadn’t ended so well. Tonight, though, it’d be different.
My chest ached as I watched Nico with Rhett, their heads almost touching as they chatted about cars. This man right here was the kind of father Rhett deserved, one who shared his interests, scolded him when necessary, comforted him when he needed an arm around his shoulder. Defended him in front of the bullies of this world. Stood by his side through thick and thin.
“You have a weird look on your face,” Nico murmured when Rhett’s attention diverted to the bucket of toys the server dropped by.
“I’m just thinking what a great father you’d make,” I said, then clapped a hand over my mouth. “God. Sorry. I’m not saying that I think…” I trailed off. “Oh, shoot.”
“.” Nico took hold of my hand, knitting our fingers together. “It’s all cool. I don’t think you’re going to kidnap me, drag me down the aisle, and then force me to impregnate you in the next five minutes.” He laughed. “Although,” he added, his voice lowering to a growly rumble that made my thighs clench on instinct, “I’m not averse to doing the thing that couples do when they’re trying to get pregnant. Repeatedly.”
My stomach rolled, and I lowered my chin, looking up at him from beneath my lashes.
He groaned. “Jesus. Don’t.”
I chuckled, relieved that the moment had passed and Nico hadn’t taken my musings seriously. He would make a wonderful father. One day. With someone. But not with me. Both of us knew what this was. A time to heal, to move forward into the future.
A separate future.
I tried not to acknowledge how much it hurt when I thought about that.
“So, tomorrow’s Saturday,” Nico announced. “How would you like to go sailing?”
Rhett widened his eyes, and his mouth fell open. “Like on a boat?”
Nico chuckled. “Yep. On a real, honest-to-goodness boat.”
Rhett looked at Nico as if he were a superhero come to life. “I love you, Nico,” he said, flinging himself into his arms.
“I bet you wouldn’t love me if I didn’t own a boat,” Nico said, but his voice kind of faded in and out. All I could hear was Rhett’s declaration of love, and a sense of dread washed over me.
When my fling with Nico ended, trouble lay ahead, and I didn’t know how to even begin to deal with the damage it might cause to my son.
This was all wrong. A terrible mistake. I’d put my needs and wants and desires ahead of Rhett’s, never for a moment stopping to consider his fragile state and how desperately he missed his father, enough to pin his hopes on another father figure.
I’d failed my son more than Paul ever had.