Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Maisie leaned against the edge of the ferry as it traveled slowly across the Sea of Moyle, her eyes lingering on the pearl-gray mist that draped heavily across the choppy waves.
That morning, she’d said goodbye to Daphne, waving after the black taxi, though her aunt hadn’t waved back, her head lowered as she stared at her phone. Shortly after, Maisie had headed for the ferry, determined to be as easy going as she had been the day before, though her stomach was rolling.
Seeing Finn’s smile had lifted her spirits, as did Pearl, Renee, and Joyce as they welcomed her aboard the ferry. Trifle had licked her fingertips, and afterwards, the Sch?fers from Germany had officially introduced themselves to her with a welcoming conversation. The young couple with the baby—the Dünsers—had also greeted her with polite nods, as had the Taylors.
Everyone was so kind and generous with their time. Even now, Finn was providing her with a distraction, watching her across the ferry where he stood with the Waterstones, his eyes continually flitting toward Maisie between the many faces of the fully loaded ferry.
And yet, something still bothered her. Something niggled at her peace, disturbed her focus, and unsettled her firm footing. She’d been fine yesterday, knowing she would end the day with Daphne. But today, with the next two weeks stretching out on the long road before her, apprehension—not anticipation—took the reins of her emotions.
If Daphne were there, Maisie would no doubt have been left alone by everyone on board. They wouldn’t have to speak with her if she had a companion of her own.
But if she were being honest, Maisie was relieved that her aunt wasn’t there. She wanted to be free to chat with strangers and make new friends instead of just tagging along at Daphne’s side. She wanted to listen to the waves slapping the side of the ferry instead of hearing Daphne going on and on and on about this supplier and that investor. She wanted to walk at a slower pace than her aunt’s pumping pumps. Breathe in the smells around her instead of Daphne’s professional perfume. Experience the beautiful vibes Northern Ireland had to offer—instead of Daphne’s corporate, fast-paced energy permeating Maisie’s spirits.
In short, she wanted a day like yesterday. But that was exactly the problem. She could have that same type of day for the next two weeks if she wanted to. But she was too busy drowning with guilt.
She was being selfish, after all. Daphne had paid for their entire trip and had first come up with the idea of the restaurant so the two of them could work together. How ungrateful was Maisie to be relieved about their time apart?
Then again, maybe they needed that time apart as a breather from spending the last four months together. Maybe, after the two weeks were up, Maisie would be just fine living with her aunt again and spending every day with her.
Or maybe…she was kidding herself.
A heavy pressure settled atop her chest, though she tried to ignore it. She’d been looking forward to this trip to Rathlin Island for a long time. She’d be silly to let it pass her by.
With deep, cleansing breaths of the sea air, she cleared her mind as best she could just in time to see the island only slightly emerging from the thick fog as the ferry docked and the passengers filed onto stable ground.
Maisie took a minute to look around for Finn, but with no sight of him, she pushed herself to stick to her plan for the day. There was no guided itinerary on the island like the usual bus tour, so she’d mapped out each hour to ensure she saw as much of Rathlin Island as possible.
Of course, seeing it with Finn would have been ideal, but he probably had his own plans already. Best to keep her focus on her own vacation instead of spending the entire thing waiting around for someone else—like what she had often done with Daphne.
First on her agenda was to visit one of the three lighthouses on the island. Taking a small shuttle, she reached Rathlin West Lighthouse, exploring the unique upside-down structure—the light at the bottom of the house instead of at the top—then admiring the spectacular views of the misty cliffsides.
Finding a spot alone on a bench near the cliff’s edge where the herring gulls cried above, she pulled out her phone, ensuring her umbrella protected both the screen and her from the rain as she made a FaceTime call to her mom.
Only one ring sounded before Mom’s face appeared on the screen, her eyes shining.
“Maisie!” she said with a warm smile. Her chin was cut off at the bottom of the screen due to the angle of her camera, revealing a few potted plants behind her and the family cat, Abu, lounging in the sunshine nearby. “Sweetheart, how are you?”
Before Maisie had the chance to answer, Dad appeared beside Mom as he took off his Stetson. His tanned, weathered features—also cut off at the bottom—wrinkled with his smile.
“Zi-Zi!” he said, using the nickname only he called her. “So good to see you!”
“It’s good to see you both, too,” she returned, her voice wavering.
She had spoken with them on FaceTime at least twice a week since the beginning of her trip, but each time, her heart hurt .
She missed them. Their comforting hugs, their warm questions, their deep interest in her life. Talking to them on the phone was a lifeline, but nothing was comparable to experiencing the love and attention from her parents in person.
“So Rathlin Island today?” Mom asked.
Maisie wasn’t surprised that Mom knew where she was. Her parents had requested a full itinerary of her travels long before she left.
“Yup, I’m standing here right now,” Maisie returned.
She showed them the lighthouse, the cliffs, the sea, and the mist, and though she knew the video quality was probably abysmal for them, she heard them “ooh” and “ahh” with each new view.
“You guys would love it here,” Maisie said, flipping the screen back to show her own face.
“One day we’ll get there,” Dad said. “And to all of Europe, just like you. As soon as Nathaniel proves himself as foreman, I’ll be booking our tickets.”
Maisie asked them a few questions, how the new hire was doing, if Dad was finally ready to retire, and how the ranch was holding up before Mom narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to the phone.
“So where’s Daphne?” she asked. “She usually pops in by now.”
Maisie hesitated. She hadn’t had the chance to tell them yet.
“No need to bring her on if she’s busy,” Dad mumbled.
Mom gave Dad a reproving look. “Shh, Calvin. She might hear.”
“What?” Dad said. “Your sister knows how I feel about her.”
Maisie couldn’t help but smile. It was true. Dad and Daphne had never gotten along very well. While Daphne worked to distract herself from what she didn’t have, Dad worked to make time to be with what—and who—he did have. Things had only grown more strained between them since Maisie had moved to Boston last year .
“She’s too controlling,” Dad had always said about Daphne. “She won’t let Maisie have her own life.”
Maisie had a feeling what she was about to say wasn’t going to endear him to Daphne any further.
“Yeah, you don’t have to worry about her overhearing,” she began.
“Why not?” Mom asked.
Dad listened more intently.
“Um…Because she’s not here anymore.”
Mom tipped her head to the side in confusion, and Dad’s brow furrowed.
“You mean she’s not with you on the island today?” Mom asked.
Maisie drew a deep breath. “Yeah, not on this island…or the whole of Northern Ireland. She’s flying to Boston this morning.”
Dad’s features contorted into disbelief, so Maisie rushed to explain, sharing all about how this was better for the both of them, how much money Daphne would have lost had Maisie left, too, and how Maisie was fine being on her own, but clearly, none of her words helped.
“I knew it,” Dad said. “I knew she’d end up pulling some crap like this.”
Mom rolled her eyes. “You didn’t know that she’d do exactly this.”
“Yes, I did. I said it was a bad idea to let the two of them go alone. Daphne has no sense of responsibility for anyone but herself. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself.”
“Calvin,” Mom said in a hushed tone.
“No, this is the last straw, Violet,” Dad continued, though his tone softened as he looked at Maisie again. “She can’t leave you out there alone, Zi-Zi. She should’ve tried harder to stay with you.”
“She obviously didn’t make the decision lightly, sweetheart,” Mom soothed. Then she faced Maisie, too. “But…Dad’s mostly right. It really wasn’t fair for her to leave you alone, honey. ”
Maisie nodded. “I know. I’m no stranger to how Daphne is. I was kinda upset about it at first, but really, I’m completely fine with her going. I promise I’ll be super safe and come home in one piece.” She hesitated, guilt pulling her spirits back down to earth. Maybe Mom and Dad could help with that, too? “The only problem is…I’m having a hard time being okay with that fact that I’m okay.”
She could see Dad trying to settle his frustrations. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” Maisie began, watching the fog roll over the ocean, “I just kinda feel guilty for not going back with her.”
“You’re already going back to Boston at the end of the trip instead of coming home, aren’t you?” Dad asked.
Maisie nodded regretfully. She would love to return to North Dakota, see her parents and her home, visit the hogs and the chickens and the cows. But she had to help Daphne look over the restaurant to figure out the logistics of the building so they could start construction.
Dad frowned. “Is that not enough to satisfy the?—”
Mom put a settling hand on his shoulder, ending his words and producing a smile from Maisie. She loved Dad’s temper. It only ever came out in defense of his family.
“So why the guilt?” Mom asked gently.
Dad nodded, signaling he wanted to hear her reasoning, too.
“This whole trip was paid for by her,” Maisie explained. “I just feel like I should be working as hard as she is. And I’m basically a terrible person because, while I love Aunt Daphne so much, I’m completely relieved that…” She broke off with a sigh. “I’m just so relieved that she’s not with me so I can actually relax and enjoy myself. Not that I didn’t all over Europe. It was just…a lot being with her. So yeah. Basically I’m selfish. That’s all.”
Dad’s brow looked significantly less furrowed, but Mom spoke first. “Did Daph tell you that you have to work as hard as she’ s working?”
“No, she actually told me to relax and have fun while she was gone.”
“Oh, so she’s not all bad,” Mom said, giving a pointed look at Dad.
He relaxed farther onto their brown, leather couch, a little smile playing on his lips. Clearly, he was pleased with what Maisie had said about being with Daphne.
“Well, first off, honey,” Mom said, “you’re not a terrible person, nor are you selfish. Look at what you’ve just done over the last four months. Any sane person would need a break after that. I know it can be so hard to relax when someone else is working their tail off, but you need to remember that Daphne is choosing for herself to work that hard. You don’t have to make that same choice just to avoid disappointing her.”
“Yeah, just because she’s a workaholic doesn’t mean you need to be, too,” Dad piped in.
“Thank you, Calvin,” Mom said with a look of longsuffering. “We all know my sister can be the salt of the earth?—”
“A really big, hard-to-crack chunk of salt,” Dad added.
Mom sighed. “Just don’t feel bad for enjoying time away from her. Everyone needs a little break from everyone at some point or another…”
She gave Dad a sidelong glance, and he responded with a double take of his own. “I trust you’re not speaking of your wonderful and supportive husband, Violet King.”
“I would never,” Mom said, then she gave Maisie another look.
Maisie laughed, watching them both as Dad kissed Mom’s temple. Another ache sliced through her heart, this time, not solely due to her missing them.
“Love just isn’t in the cards for some people,” Daphne had said when speaking of her past engagement. “Luckily, I’m more than happy with that.”
Maisie had told herself she was fine with that for her own life, too. But now…
“Your aunt’s life isn’t your own, honey,” Mom said, clearly seeing where her thoughts had strayed. “And her happiness isn’t your responsibility. I know you’ve got this restaurant together, and it’s amazing and so special that you get to work with Daphne.” Her voice softened. “But that doesn’t mean you have to be like her in every other regard. Don’t be afraid to live your own life. After all, she is.”
Maisie nodded, allowing the words to resonate within her. Mom never had an unkind word to say about her older sister, but that didn’t mean she was unaware of Daphne’s power of persuasion—even if it was used unintentionally. Daphne had even tried to convince Mom not to marry Dad at one point because it would “change their sisterhood and friendship.”
Fortunately, Mom had stood up for herself.
“Your mom’s right,” Dad said, his anger having faded away. “Who knows, maybe having some time alone and finishing up this trip on your own will be just what you need to find that life of yours again.”
“Yeah,” Maisie said, nodding, the motion pumping her full of renewed strength. “Yeah, you guys are right.”
“Of course we are,” Dad said. “We know everything.”
Maisie laughed.
“Just promise us you’ll be safe,” he continued. “And keep us up to date where you are.”
“Of course.”
“And don’t go anywhere with anyone alone. Especially at night or anything.”
“You got it, Dad. Don’t worry. I’m seriously never alone here because of the tour. The whole group is great. All of them are really nice, and the tour guide is”— super hot, attentive, kinda in to me— “really helpful, too.”
“Good,” Dad said.
“More than anything, make sure to have fun,” Mom said, her smile bright again.
“That’s a given,” Dad agreed .
“Well, I’m going to say it anyway.”
“And have zero regrets when you come home,” Dad added.
Maisie smiled again. She had no idea what her parents were going to do once Dad retired. Argue, tease, and love each other all the more, no doubt.
Maisie thanked both of them for helping her, then said goodbye, longing for their loving faces the second she hung up. But she picked herself up again, rehearsing the lines her parents had shared with her.
“Have zero regrets when you come home.”
“Don’t be afraid to live your own life.”
They were right. She could still work with Daphne on the restaurant and enjoy pursuing that dream. But she wasn’t responsible for her aunt’s happiness any more than Daphne was responsible for Maisie’s happiness. They could certainly bring each other joy, and had done so often, but right now, it was time for a little self-love.
Maisie needed to live her own life. Or at least a portion of her own life. And she was going to start that new portion right now in Northern Ireland.
So with a renewed lilt in her step, Maisie did just that.
First, she took the shuttle back to the lower part of the island and stopped at the Boathouse Visitor Centre, watching the seals bask in the sunlight. Next, she stopped at the small, local pub, the Puffin’s Perch, where she ate a meal that wasn’t her favorite, though she still enjoyed the slower pace she was able to adopt.
After regretfully leaving most of the food on her plate, however, Maisie headed outside for the bicycle rentals, relieved that the rain had finally relented. Daphne had told her from the beginning that she wouldn’t go on any bike ride Maisie signed them up for, as she wasn’t much of a cyclist. Maisie wasn’t either, but how magical did a bike ride sound around a mist-filled island?
After a quick chat with the rental man, who’d introduced himself as Eamon, Maisie paid him a few pound notes as he handed over a helmet .
“Havin’ a lovely visit so far?” he asked as he unlocked one of his bikes.
“I am, thank you. It’s a gorgeous island. You must love working here.”
“It’s Baltic, but you can’t beat it. And it’s always lovely to meet all sorts of folk.” He looked up at her with a smile before his eyes focused beyond her shoulder. “Hiya, Finn.”
Maisie’s breath caught in her throat. She turned around just as Finn came up to stand beside her, a small smile on his lips.
He greeted Eamon, then faced Maisie. “Fancy a wee cyclin’ mate?”