Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Finn had never had a kiss quite like this one. There was something special about it, something beyond desire and physical attraction. He shouldn’t have been surprised. There was something special about Maisie, too.
As he held her face between his hands, raising his shoulders to draw her in as close as he could, he thought his heart might shatter because of how quickly it was beating—and because of how much he was feeling .
He hadn’t allowed himself to feel anything in so long. There was too much else to focus on, to worry about, to be busy with. But now, there was just Maisie. Nothing else existed but kissing this stunning, charming woman.
All the time he’d spent on that beach as a child and as an adult, all the sunsets he’d witnessed, the rainy days he’d experienced, the fun times he’d had—none of them came close to how wonderful his time with Maisie had been. Not a single moment even compared to kissing her, feeling her soft skin beneath his fingers, her arms clinging to the folds of his sweater beneath his jacket.
None of it compared to Maisie .
He slid his fingers beyond her cheekbones and past her ears to relish the feel of her silky waves, though they were swiftly becoming sodden with rain. Any other girl he knew would have stopped kissing and sought shelter to protect her wee curls and makeup.
But not Maisie.
Their kiss continued, their admiration for each other clear. He needed more of her. To be closer, to feel her heart against his. He slid his arms beneath her unzipped raincoat, wrapping around her waist as she secured her fingers around the back of his neck.
Together, they stood, their mouths locked in an affection that warded off any cold air, any outside forces, any worries or thoughts or fears about the future.
It was just the two of them in the rain, on the sand, near the sea.
After that page she’d written about him in her food journal, the sweet things she’d said, there had been one thing that stood out to him above the rest—something he hadn’t mentioned aloud.
“Every second I’m with him, I’m happy.”
Did she truly feel that way? Because he did about her.
They’d only known each other for six days, but then, during those six days, they’d spent hours with each other, getting to know each other’s wants, likes, and desires. Their concerns and fears. Their sorrows. He’d never spent that sort of time with any woman before. It was the equivalent to months—at least on his timetable. The stress of travel also tended to reveal a person’s true colors—and Maisie had revealed herself to be as angelic and lovely as she appeared.
He knew there was still much to learn about her, to experience with her, but if he wanted to see this relationship go further, he had to tell her the truth.
He had to be clear why they needed to stop until after the tour .
At the thought, the age-old niggling worry burrowed its way between them like a wedge in the branches of a flourishing tree. So, with more restraint and self-control that he’d known he’d possessed, he pulled away from Maisie, breaking their kiss slowly before resting his forehead on hers.
They didn’t speak for a minute, both of them breathing deeply before he pulled back and met her gaze. Not a word was spoken as he took her hand in his and led her away from the beach, the rain pouring down around them.
As their footsteps tapped mutely on the pavement, the concern between them grew.
“That probably wasn’t the smartest thing for us to do,” Maisie said first, breaking through their silence.
“No, it wasn’t,” he agreed. He held his breath before speaking again. “And even though it kills me to say it, we shouldn’t do it again. Least not until you’re no longer a passenger on Bob.”
Maisie nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be. In fact, I hope you’re not.”
“Okay, I’m not sorry that we kissed, but I am sorry if something happens because of it. I’d never forgive myself if you lost your job because of me.”
Finn hesitated. He wanted her to understand that it was so much more than his job, but he also didn’t want to make her worry.
Still, she’d trusted him on that bridge and after, sharing her feelings with him—he wanted to do the same with her.
“There’s more to it than that,” he said softly. “Me da lost his job ’bout six months ago, and I’ve been helpin’ him make ends meet since. Problem is, I don’t earn enough to pay for their home and me own flat, now that me savings are gone.”
She stopped walking, turning to face him, but he couldn’t meet her gaze. The shame he felt for not earning enough, for not being able to help himself and his family when that’s all they’d done for him their entire lives, was overwhelming .
But he wasn’t finished.
“Without that bonus,” he continued, his eyes on the pavement and her now-stained white shoes, “I’ll lose me home. And without this job, me family will lose theirs.”
“Finn,” she breathed out. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“I know,” he said. “I’m not tellin’ you any o’ this to worry you. I just wanted you to know why I’ve behaved the way I have. Flirtin’ one day, pullin’ back the other. I just can’t seem to help meself when I’m around you.”
He finally managed a glance at her, seeing the smile on her lips, though sorrow still touched her eyes. “Well, I certainly haven’t helped in that regard, either,” she said, “staring at you all the time and writing food journal entries about you.”
There she went again, lifting his downtrodden spirits.
“I have to admit,” she said, “I heard a small amount of your conversation with your dad earlier, but nothing in great detail.” He waved a passive hand, and she continued. “What does he say about you losing your flat?”
“He doesn’t know. He’s a good man. The best. He tried payin’ me back today, but I know he can’t afford to yet. He’s got another job he’s waitin’ to hear back on, but if he doesn’t get it, and if I lose me job—me only ability to help—he’ll be sellin’ the house.”
Maisie’s face contorted with regret, then her expression slowly shifted to one of resolution. “Alright,” she began, “then we won’t let that happen. We’ll keep our distance the rest of the trip. It’s only a week, so that’s manageable, right? Then come Friday, when the tour is ended, we can…we can see where we are.” She ended with more hesitation than the way she’d begun. “Maybe?”
Finn shook his head in amazement. He should have told her about all this days ago. Her thoughtfulness and humility astounded him.
“Aye,” he agreed. “Friday it is, then.”
She smiled up at him, then the two of them headed back home. He was pleased with the plan, and indebted to Maisie and her goodness, but there was still one thing worrying him.
Because he had no idea how on earth he was going to be able to see Maisie for five days, all without being able to be with Maisie for five days.
Maisie called an Uber when she got back to Finn’s house, saying goodbye to his family and friends and praying it wouldn’t be for the last time.
Each of them was as generous and kind as the next, though his granny’s words had been her favorite as the woman had placed her wrinkled hands on Maisie’s cheeks and said with a sweet smile, “Oh, you are lovely. Even for an American.”
Everyone had laughed, Maisie included, then she’d bid farewell to the group before climbing into the Uber with Finn, who had insisted that he’d see her back to the hotel.
Their ride home was filled with silence. Finn reached across the space between them and held her hand, squeezing it to reassure her that all would be well. She tried to feel the same, but her smile wouldn’t come naturally, so she looked out the window instead.
Moments ago, when they’d kissed, things had seemed so simple, so hopeful.
But now, with his family’s home on the line, Maisie couldn’t get herself to find any light at all.
She watched the street lamps pass by the window every few seconds, lighting up the rain as it freckled the glass, and all the while, her thoughts spiraled with worries over Finn’s job, his family’s security, and her own ability to keep away from him until Friday.
Then came the next worry—What would come after Friday ?
Finn had said he wanted to see her that day, but then what? They lived different lives in completely different countries with entirely different—but both demanding—jobs. What would they do after that? Was this blossoming relationship simply going to fizzle out and die like waning embers?
By the time they reached the hotel, her mind was foggy again, this time with sorrow.
Finn told the driver to wait for him in the unloading zone of the hotel, then held Maisie’s door open for her as she exited the car next.
The entryway was empty as Maisie walked next to Finn toward the hotel.
“Well,” she said just before the automatic doors would have slid open, “I guess this is goodbye for a day.”
He nodded, staring down at her. “But not a goodbye forever.”
“No.”
They looked at each other, and Maisie’s heart swirled with emotion for the man. Was his doing the same for her?
“Thank you so much for today,” she said instead. “I had such a good time. It was so thoughtful of you to find a way for me to eat that stew, and being a part of your family was…” A lump grew in her throat, sudden and unexpected, and she cleared it away with a glance at the wet concrete they stood upon. “You all made me feel so welcome, and I really needed that today. So…thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Maisie,” he said softly.
Once again, silence fell between them. There were so many words she wished to say, so many unspoken feelings. So many fears and worries and wonderings about what they were going to do.
But still, she held her tongue. “I should probably head in,” she said. “I don’t want to get you into trouble.”
He nodded. “Aye.”
But neither of them moved. He hesitated, reaching forward and taking her hand in his. “Maisie, I?— ”
A gasp cut him off, and a sharp, “I knew it!” interrupted their solitude.
Maisie’s eyes shot toward the voice, and when she caught sight of Mrs. Waterstone, the woman standing right before them with a scowl, alone and in the doorway of the hotel, her stomach dropped.