Chapter 51
The apartment looks like a craft store has taken over. Balloons take up an entire wall, and streamers are everywhere. Someone absolutely went overboard, and that person is Ziggy Blackwater. Even though the decorations covering everything from ceiling to floor are way too over the top, the party looks beautiful. We went with soft pinks and purples, a giant “1” towering above the table packed with a cake for Lily to destroy, cupcakes for everyone else, and way too many snacks. I absolutely went overboard, too, but how could I not? It’s Lily’s first birthday. We both made it through the year, and that is something we can truly celebrate. And I want everything to be perfect.
I glance over at Oren, who’s completely focused on Lily. She’s squealing with excitement, babbling at him like what she is saying makes perfect sense. We haven’t caught her saying anything discernible yet, but I know once she does start talking, she will never stop. She pulls at the tiny crown that we have pinned into the curls on the top of her head. It was a fight, but I managed to get the crown to stay, and we are just hoping for the best when it comes to it lasting the whole party. Oren's face lighting up with everything that she does, how amazing the two of them are, radiating off of them, makes my heart swell with pride watching the beautiful family we’ve become.
The sound of the doorbell ringing snaps me out of my thoughts. Here we go, it's about to get so fucking real now. I smooth down the front of my dress, hoping the soothing move will calm my nerves. Today of all days, I am meeting Oren’s mom for the first time. At her only granddaughter’s birthday party. I’ve heard her on video chats and phone calls with Oren and Lily before, but this will be our first time in the same place. To say that it is giving me anxiety would be an understatement.
I walk over to the door, and after taking one last deep breath, I wipe my sweaty palms down my thighs one last time. As I move to reach out, my intention is to grab the door knob and open the door, but all that happens is I freeze, the freak out rearing its ugly head. I’ve never met this woman; she knows nothing about me, and I know she is important to Oren. His mom is his only other family. What if she doesn’t like me? What if she thinks I’m not good enough for her son? What if she hates me for not telling Oren about Lily? I take several more deep breaths and yank the door open before I lose courage.
“Hi, you must be Rachel,” an angelic voice with a much stronger accent than Oren’s greets me.
Yvette Samuels stands there with a poised smile, her eyes the carbon copy of her son’s and granddaughter’s. There is a slight crinkling around the corners of her eyes that showcases a life spent smiling. Oren’s mom is a stunning woman. Beyond just the green eyes, the two of them have similar features and coloring. The biggest difference is that for Oren’s big masculine qualities, Yvette’s are smaller and more feminine. She looks ageless, it seems, her skin a deep tanned radiant color and model smooth. She enters our apartment with grace, but I can tell that she’s also unsure of what to expect from today. Yvette is also a little nervous, just like me, which makes me feel better.
“Yvette, hi,” I say, my voice a little shaky. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you.”
She wraps me into a comforting hug that immediately defuses some of my stress. Much to my relief, everything feels organic and natural. Easy. Her gaze travels to the living room, her eyes immediately finding Oren and Lily.
“Look at her,” she says softly, her hand covering her mouth as she soaks in this moment, seeing her granddaughter for the first time. “She’s perfect.”
Yvette has this sing-songy quality to her; the Quebecois accent is understated but unmistakable. Everything she says to me is warm and inviting. I smile at Oren as he comes over, holding Lily out for his mom. The look of awe on Yvette’s face makes me so happy that this is finally happening. It’s a big moment for all of us.
“Maman, c’est Lily, ta petite-fille,” [7] Oren says, his voice soft. Yvette’s eyes fill with tears as she reaches out, taking Lily into her arms for the first time.
“Salut,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. “Oh, regarde-toi, belle fille.” [8]
“Bon, on devrait s’en tenir a l’anglais, maman,” [9] he says with a smile. “Je ne veux pas que Rachel se sente exclue.” [10]
Somehow when she switches to French her voice is even more beautiful, more delicate than before. I stand back, giving them a moment. Oren catches my eye, and there's so much love in his gaze, so much gratitude that I can feel deep in my bones. We welcome Yvette to the apartment and we quickly get abandoned as she takes over Lily duty, soaking up all of the time she can with her.
The party really ramps up once our friends start to arrive, the space filling with laughter and chatter. Heidi, who is here as a guest, can’t turn off her urge to take care of people. She is bustling around, making sure that any little mess is cleaned up before anyone even has a chance to blink, and that everyone’s plates are overflowing with food. No one is leaving this apartment hungry after today. Some of my close co-workers are here. Luckily, Elliot and Ziggy are here to bridge the gap between my coworkers and Oren’s friends and coworkers. Not that Ford needs any help making a new friend. I spot him off to the side of the room, already making everyone laugh. Also, not a surprise is seeing Nolan Wilder here and keeping to himself, looking in from the outside with an amused smile.
Oren invited Bryce Cole, but he was in the middle of training camp. He sent his regards along with a gift for Lily that was delivered to the house this morning. Unlike Bryce, Gordie Whitefield was very upfront that he appreciated the invite but had no intention of showing up. A very large gift was delivered for Lily in his honor yesterday. I’m almost afraid to find out what’s in there. It’s amazing to see this much love and support here, all for Lily. It's overwhelming.
I escape to the balcony to breathe for a few minutes. This whole party is overwhelming. It’s all hitting me now. Exactly one year ago, life looked so different. Everything that has happened and continues to happen was nothing more than a fantasy. Oren and I were nothing. Living separate lives, in different cities, with a giant secret unknown to him between us that would tie us together forever. A choice that I regret more and more every day, especially watching how amazing Oren is. And now, here we are, here together. I just hope that everyone here is happy about that fact. I’ve found it a little strange that Yvette never once seemed interested in talking to me or getting to know me. So in my mind, the common denominator is that she’s mad. At me, specifically. I’m usually the confrontational type–if something is bothering me, I ask about it. Get to the bottom of it until there is a solution, but with this, I’m too scared to face it head on.
I hear the door slide open behind me. Oren steps out and closes it behind him. He comes to stand beside me, wrapping an arm around me.
"How are you doing?" he asks, his voice low as his piercing, green-eyed glance moves over me.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just…nerves.” I nod, but it’s a half-truth.
Oren’s forehead wrinkles and he turns to face me, gently tilting my chin up so I’m forced to make eye contact. “Tell me what’s wrong, Rachel?”
I let out a deep sigh, unable to hold it in anymore. “It’s just—I don’t know. I think your mom hates me. What if she thinks you’re too good for me? What if she never forgives me for not telling you about Lily? Or missing so much of her early days. Just because you’ve forgiven me doesn’t mean that she has to. And the thought of her hating me forever is so overwhelming, and I—”
Before I can finish, Oren presses a strong kiss to my lips, stopping my spiraling thoughts in their tracks. When he pulls back, his eyes are full of reassurance.
“Rachel,” he says steadily. “I love you.”
His words are clear, so sure, and they help me breathe a little easier. Not a day has gone by since he said those three words that he hasn’t told me he loves me, but here and now, they feel so much more powerful. With him on my side, I feel like I can handle anything, including his mother.
“And she’s going to love you, too,” he adds with a confident smile. “I know it.”
“You don’t know that.” I gasp, blinking up at him.
“I do,” He chuckles, brushing a loose curl behind my ear. “You’re amazing, and she’d be blind not to see it.”
I stare at him while I try to process his reasoning. It feels like I will always have the fear in the back of my mind. Maybe not forever but at least for the foreseeable future. I’m sure it stems from guilt, so until my own guilt goes away, it will linger.
“Thank you,” I whisper, leaning my forehead into his chest. “I’m just…I don’t want to mess this up.”
He kisses the top of my head, hugging me to him tightly. “You won’t. We’re in this together. Always.”
“Yeah,” I nod against him, his embrace settling my nerves. “I’m glad.”
I stand there, wrapped up in both the moment and Oren’s embrace, as the sounds of the party start to filter into our bubble.
“Come on,” Oren says softly, pulling back just enough to look at me. “Let’s get going. We have partying to do.”
I laugh at how cheesy he is sometimes. It’s so unlike what I expected from him, but I love it. Oren’s fingers intertwine with mine as he leads me back inside. As usual, after a heart to heart with Oren, I’m feeling the lightest that I’ve been all day. Because he’s right. We’re in this together, we are a team, and whatever happens, we’ll face it together. I just hope his mom hating me isn’t our first real obstacle as a couple.
When we come back inside, Yvette gets Lily situated in her highchair for cake while Oren and I get the candle ready. We slip into the space next to Lily and place the cake down in front of her while the partygoers sing her happy birthday. She doesn’t seem too impressed by the singing. She’s more captivated by the candle. I keep her from causing a fiery disaster, and luckily, she gets easily distracted by the icing. It only takes a minute before cake is smeared all over her chubby cheeks, hands, arms, clothes, and the floor. Everywhere. She’s giggling while smashing the tiny cake into oblivion. It’s the best type of chaos, and Oren and I just laugh as she slaps her hands down, sending frosting flying toward the ceiling.
“Oh my god, Lily!” I laugh, trying to clean some of the frosting off her cheeks and mouth. “I think that’s enough cake for one day.”
Oren leans over, attempting to tackle her sticky hands, grinning like a fool. “She’s an artist. Let her work.”
As the afternoon winds down, people start trickling out, saying their goodbyes. The apartment finally starts to transition from the chaos of noise and laughter to calm. The last person to leave is Yvette, and honestly, her being here has been great. She was warm and welcoming, giving Lily nothing but love and treating me with the same type of kindness that comes from her son. We even had a nice one on one conversation that ended with the mutual decision to spend more time getting to know each other better. It was an absolute relief to hear. I’d been so nervous about everything, and there was no reason for it.
"If we had a bigger place, you’d stay with us," I add, and I mean every word of it. My relationship with Yvette is just beginning so I genuinely wish she could stay here longer, but unfortunately, the three of us barely fit in our apartment, let alone guests. So, she’s staying at a hotel just down the street.
“You guys have something really special here,” she says softly, giving me a tight hug before she heads out the door. “Take care of each other.”
“We will,” I promise, smiling.
Oren is driving her to the hotel, and after one more kiss to Lily’s forehead, they head out. After the door shuts behind them, I start getting Lily ready for bed. She’s still got cake energy flowing through her veins, so we spend a few extra minutes in the bathtub while she plays. After I get her changed into her pajamas, I settle into the rocker, ready to read her three or four more stories than necessary, but instead, within a few minutes of rocking her, her eyes flutter shut.
After tucking her gently in her crib, I watch her, marveling at how quickly we got to her first birthday. It’s amazing how much everything has changed—how much we’ve both changed.