11. Aspyn
Chapter eleven
Aspyn
A spyn aged 16
I sit at the café and fuss with my hair, trying to hide the scar. No matter how much I brush over my face, I can’t help but imagine a vivid neon sign aimed right at it. Either I look like a mop or my scars are visible. There is no in between, but I can’t stop fussing.
“I can’t do it, Daniel. I need the job, but I can’t leave my daughter alone for that long,” my mother says in a long whine of what reeks of desperation. Yes, we are that desperate. Our situation has gone past dire.
I try not to listen. Daniel is Mum’s boss, and he wants her to fly with him for work. He’s a foul man about fifteen years younger than her, and it’s clear from the way he touches her what he wants. He simply pretends I don’t exist.
I’ve tried to tell Mum I’ll be okay, but the truth is I won’t. I still wake up screaming from cramps. Sometimes my leg locks up, and I fall. My balance is terrible, and I struggle to do normal things. I’m learning but not fast enough.
“No, wait,” Mum almost shouts. “Please, I need the money for the doctors and physios. Please don’t fire me. Daniel, please! I’ll do anything you want. I just can’t do that.”
I watch her and wonder what her life would be like if I had died as well. Would she be happy now? I know Daniel likes her.
Maybe she’d be flying around the world with the self-centered little dick with legs. Grieving on a jet, the memories of us tempered with fine champagne and glamourous clothes.
Mum puts down her phone and bursts into tears.
I sit awkwardly, trying not to draw attention to her. She hates it when I try to give her sympathy. If I try to say something, she’ll bite my head off and then get mad at me for doing it in a café.
“Stay here!” she barks.
I wince but dip my head, indicating I’ve heard her.
I sip my water, but the doorbell chimes, and I look in that direction. I’ll never know why I lift my head at that exact moment, but my whole world shatters and reforms in an instant.
He’s so golden and perfect. His teeth are white and even, and his eyes are this stunning blue-green. He’s wearing a suit and looks like a hero from those romance books I’ve been reading.
A smell of flowers, my favourite flowers, Night-blooming jasmine erupts and spreads through the air, but I can’t look away. It’s my perfume. I perfumed for my alpha.
He’s older and distinguished. Oh, wow.
I catch his scent, and I recognise it as tequila. My father used to drink it, and I have always loved that smell.
The jasmine gets stronger until I’m choking on it. Other customers are complaining, but he looks up, and his eyes meet mine.
I smile. Hope is a broken bird fluttering to life in my chest.
Everything will be okay now.
P resent Day
When Kelly walks through the door to the café, I feel like its history repeating itself. I’m not twenty-three but a girl of sixteen. He’s still as devastatingly handsome as he was back then, but, this time, instead of shock, I see fury when he looks at me, and I recoil so hard I spill my coffee.
Beau follows my gaze, twisting to look over his shoulder. He catches sight of him and smiles faintly. He checks the time and gives Kelly an up-nod that the alpha ignores. I briefly, hysterically, wonder what that was about, but then realise I actually don’t care. I just want to disappear.
I return my gaze to the cupcake that Beau bought me and take a tiny piece and put it in my mouth, hoping I don’t choke on it. There is no flavour to it.
Beau leans over and whispers in my ear, but I don’t really hear him. No, all my attention is on the alpha who hurt me, who broke me. The one I’ve pined for all these years. Even when I’ve hated him, I’ve still wanted him.
He walks in, and I hold my breath as he gets closer and closer, and then he just walks on past like I’m not even there.
I sink low in my seat, my cheeks flaming, and fight the urge to run. Why would he want to speak to me? Of course, he doesn’t. I sniffle and break the cupcake into a dozen pieces.
“Cher, excuse me for a moment.”
Beau stands up and approaches Kelly before I can say anything. No! I can’t see this. I struggle up, grab my cane, and start limping towards the door.
I can hear them talking in cold, hostile voices. I want to call Beau back to me, but more than that, I want to be alone. Where I can let this embarrassment and shame eat me alive.
The door opens, and a familiar face has me pausing. Gwen Archer. She’s beautiful, dark hair, dark eyes, flawless, tanned skin, and completely and utterly evil. Not only does she have no empathy or ability to sympathize with anyone else, she actually enjoys seeing them in pain.
She has wanted the Daane for as long as they have been mine.
And she hates me for it.
I hobble past her, but just as I slide through the narrow gap, my cane loses purchase, and I fall. I know she kicked it, I just know it, but, just like always, there’s no way to prove it.
I land heavily, the pain shooting through my body like lightning. For seconds, all I can do is breathe through the agony, but even that is an effort. I want to scream, but I lock the sound behind my gritted teeth and writhe on the floor.
I hear a crash, and then Beau is there.
A sob breaks from my chest as he carefully strokes my hair and holds me. The pain subsides, and I find myself exhausted and drenched in sweat. My head is veiled like I’m detached from the world, and I’m floating separate from my body.
Beau lifts me up.
Even in my pain, even in the haze, my soul recoils from the sight of Kelly standing with Gwen. Her hand is on his arm, she’s batting her lashes, and he’s smiling at her the way I’ve never seen him smile at me.
I squeeze my eyes closed.
“Get me out of here, Beau.”
“Aspyn-”
“Get. Me. Out. Of. Here.”
He turns on his heel and leaves the café and the nightmare behind.
Keagan and Shale materialize, and the three of them exchange a look that I don’t even bother trying to translate.
“All right, beautiful, you’re with me.”
Shale takes me from Beau and walks away from the other two without a backwards glance.
I turn my face into his shoulder and try really hard to pretend I’m not crying.
“Are you hurt?”
“No. I’m just so embarrassed.”
“Ah, my love. You don’t need to be embarrassed. You are so much more than this place.”
I don’t answer him because I can’t. Shale takes me to his house, where I find Nat dancing around the kitchen with a broom, singing to some angry chick song that makes my ears hurt.
“Natalie.”
She whirls, spots him, and keeps dancing, jumping up and down and moshing her way across the room.
I get the giggles. Nat is my rock. She doesn’t care what people think of her, she’s wild and unfiltered and the crazy in my life. Shale sighs in exasperation.
“I told you not to touch anything!”
“Why are we here?” I interject before they can get into another argument that lasts weeks on end.
“We’re having a party!” Nat screeches.
I raise an eyebrow. “I’m not really up to a party, and my cane is at the café.”
“Keagan’s got it, and sure you are. It will be a party of all your favourite people.”
“Let me down. I’m going to limp home and hide.”
Nat swirls around me as soon as I’m on my feet and herds me deeper into the house, ignoring my feeble protests.
“Oh, no, you don’t.”
I sigh in annoyance but give in. Reluctant amusement steals the humiliation and shame. I won’t be able to fight Nat and the Daane. I grab onto the dresser in Shale’s bedroom, using it to help me get across the room. He’s got an amazing bath with jets, and that’s where I’m going right now.
“So, have you seen them today?”
“I don’t want to talk about them,” I spit bitterly and turn the taps on.
Nat stands with her back to me as I strip off and wrap myself in a towel.
“What happened?”
“Gwen happened. Again.”
Nat winces and glances over her shoulder. “Are you all right?”
“Fine, just sore.” I purse my lips. “No, I’m not. I’m humiliated, and Kelly was with her when we left. What’s wrong with me?” I wail.
“Do you want me to beat her stupid? Because I can and will.”
Nat laughs, but I pour some of the delicious jasmine-scented bubbles that Shale ordered for me into the water.
The Daane own the biggest house on the island. It’s been specifically renovated to make getting around it easier for me. Though we all ignore that small fact. The stairs became ramps. There are rails everywhere, and they put in this bath because they know I’m terrified of the ocean.
I sink into the bubbles and let out a relieved moan. Nat comes and sits on the edge of the tub.
“Are you really going to let them go?”
“Nat, I have nothing to offer anyone. What can I possibly give them that will make them want me?”
“Aspyn, it’s not like that-”
“Kelly walked into the café today, and it was like it was the first time I saw him and…” I stop and grab some of the bubbles. “I couldn’t breathe. It was like he was crushing me. The weight of his hatred and disapproval, it was like I couldn’t exist under it.”
“That alpha is a prat. You have three good ones. If you had three more good ones, you’d be bored.”
I snort.
Nat studies me. “Accept the Daane.”
“Nat!” I say in shock. She’s never been so serious about me accepting them before.
“Aspyn, accept the fucking Daane. They are yours.”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“You can. You can be happy. Far out, woman! You don’t need to keep hiding.” Nat’s smile falls. “It’s getting harder and harder as I get older to hold out hope that I might find someone who could be mine. You have them. Please, Aspyn, accept them. Be happy. Live the life we both dreamed.”
“My own mother didn’t love me enough to stay. I was a burden to her. I will just be a burden to them, and I love them too much.”
Nat frowns at me. “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this. I’m going to get chocolate. We’ll see if we can get a sugar high to cheer you up.”
She stalks out with just a whisper of sound. I relax in the tub, closing my eyes. I smile when I hear the door open, but I don’t open my eyes.
“Nat, are you going to tell me about the date you went on or not?” When she doesn’t respond, I try again. “I’m sorry, Nat. I just think it would be wrong. They will hate me. Look at me. I’m ruined in all the ways that count.”
She doesn’t answer.
I open my eyes and find Ezy standing there staring at me like he’s seen a ghost.
I turn my face away, trying to hide the scar, and sink deeper into the water.
“I’m sorry, I think I…wrong door.”
I screw up my face and look away from him. “What are you doing here?”
“Uh, we’re staying here for a while.”
I stiffen, my mouth falling open. “You’re staying with the Daane?”
“We are.”
We.
WE.
I struggle up and then, with a squeak, flop back down in the water, splashing it over the side of the bath.
“Oh, shit. Sorry. I didn’t see anything.”
I want him to go, but I’m going to need his help. I do not want to be naked and vulnerable in the bath with these guys roaming around.
I hate the whole fucking world right now. Why? Why does it have to be like this?
“Ezy, could you please help me up?” I ask with deep self-loathing.
He hesitates, and I sink into the water down to my nose. I wish I could go all the way. That hesitation speaks volumes, and it hurts more than it should.
Just when I think he’s going to leave me here, hanging, he approaches the bath.
He holds out his hand. I reach up and take it. He pulls me straight up, and I grab the towel, wrapping it around me as quick as I can, but when I step back, I slip.
Ezy catches me and pulls me against his chest. We stand there, staring at each other. His eyes are dark green with a hint of gold around his pupils. They are beautiful and framed with thick lashes. His eyes are kind, uncertain, but kind. I hold my breath, wondering what he’s going to do, but he breaks eye contact and looks away.
I shuffle to the edge and, with a hand on his arm and one of the rail, I pull myself out of the bath.
I’m dripping wet and embarrassed, and Ezy is still here. The scent of red grapefruit, sweet and sensual, fills the room, making my mouth water.
I inhale deeply, and, suddenly, my jasmine combines with his. Omega perfume. Turning the room sickeningly sweet. Slick pools between my thighs, and I have to bite my lip to resist the urge to groan.
Why is today so set on humiliating me?
I stumble to the door, but his hand comes down, keeping it closed. I tremble and hunch my shoulders in as he leans over me, inhaling my scent.
“Omega.”
It’s one word. It’s like a gut punch to the vagina. Turn on the faucets, the alpha said the O word. I wince as I feel myself get wetter. My nipples tighten. I want to lift my chin and let out a purr.
I breathe hard, refusing to say a word as he leans even closer and rests his other hand on my hip. My body tingles where he’s touching me. I can feel him with every other part of me.
There’s no chance of any words coming out of me, not in protest, not in anything. I’m frozen, all instinct and messy hormones.
He takes a step back and removes his hand from my hip too quickly.
I exhale with a shudder and, without looking back, I limp out of Shale’s bedroom to my adjoining one and close the door.
It takes me a long time to find the willpower to calm down and get dressed.