26. Aspyn
Chapter twenty-six
Aspyn
A spyn Aged 18
There’s no work.
Sorry, no work.
We have nothing for you.
Over and over.
In this small village, there is apparently nothing that I can do to earn money.
My stomach growls. I put a hand to it and reach out quickly to catch myself as the dizziness hits hard.
I miss and fall down, smashing into a trashcan and spilling the contents across the road. A half eaten sandwich sits on the ground in front of me. It still looks okay. My stomach growls harder, but then I remember the people.
When I look up, there’s a crowd of people watching. Judging me.
I struggle to my feet and right the trash can, swipe the sandwich, ignoring the comments and looks. I have no shame.
Then I limp home.
Defeated again.
P resent Day
I stand at the massive glass window of the hotel and stare out at the night view of the beach. The stars light up the sky. My alphas all appear to be asleep in the bed behind me.
I heard what Ezy and Keagan talked about. I’d followed them and was at the door, my hand raised to knock when the conversation had come through, and I’d felt Ezy’s longing. We all had.
With a sigh, I scrape my hair off my face and into a ponytail. In the reflection, I see my scar, but for the first time, it’s not all I see.
Ezy sees a future with us. All of us. He wants it so bad it made my knees tremble. I’m having trouble being angry at them, staying angry at them.
Keagan pads over to join me and runs a hand down my side. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nope.”
“Not even the Raines?”
“Not even them.”
Keagan is silent, but I know he’s not going to leave it alone. He’s just giving me the illusion of choice.
“I heard what Ezy said, and I felt that yearning.”
“Oh?”
“Why does he want me so much? It makes no sense.” I hold up my hand to cut off his protests. “I have no real job, can’t afford to pay my bills, I’m disabled with severe and chronic pain all the time and have a half a dozen mental illness issues. On top of which I have six scent matches, which is nearly unheard of.”
“And-”
“Let me finish before you tell me I’m wrong. What happens if I’m too sore for sex? What happens if I can’t do it anymore? Or what happens if you end up caring for me and showering me, carrying me around? What happens if you end up resenting me or turning bitter? How am I supposed to be okay with us all being together if I know you’re going to hate me?”
“Oh, I got this one,” Beau says. He sidles up beside me and hits me over the back of the head.
“OW!” I snarl.
“Don’t be a dumbass, Cher. If you are too sore for sex, I have a hand or five other pack mates who would willingly let me fuck them.”
“Are you sure?” I whisper meekly.
“Can confirm!” Gael says from the bed.
I thought he was sleeping. I’m mortified.
“Ooh, pack meeting.” Beau claps and turns the lights on. “So, if I was needy, and you were unavailable, I would fuck one of them. There, problem solved.”
“Would you be okay with that?” I ask in a strangled voice.
“Did you think we abstained from sex just because we were in an all male pack? I love my pack, Aspyn. We have sex all the time, and Beau is incredibly attractive,” Kelly says without opening his eyes. “As for taking care of you, of course, we would shower you and carry you around.”
“And toilet?” I spit out harshly. I want to shock them with the reality, with the possibilities.
“Yeah, I’d do that, too. I’d just want you to be happy.”
I blink at the slumbering alpha who still hasn’t even opened his eyes.
“I would never resent you,” Ezy murmurs. “If you ever forgave me, I would spend the rest of my life being grateful that you gave me a chance. How could anyone resent you?”
“I’m broken!” I shout.
“You’re not broken. You’re injured.”
“I can’t walk properly. My body reacts with pain all the time. My face is all scared and scares children! I can’t even hear the rain without freaking out-”
“I love your face,” Gael interrupts.
I blink at him. My train of thought almost derailed.
“Fine! Fine! Let me ask you this.” I glare around the room defiantly. “Does anyone here want children?”
There is a long and deep silence.
“No,” Kelly says at last. “I’ve never wanted them, but if you wanted to, I would make it happen.”
“I don’t care,” Shale says.
“Same,” Beau agrees.
Ezy looks up and shakes his head. “My parents were awful. I have no interest in having children.”
I can’t believe I’m hearing this.
“I…no. No, I don’t,” Gael admits.
I turn on Keagan. “And you?”
He smiles and shakes his head. “Trick question.”
“It’s not a trick question.”
“It is because you don’t want them. You’re trying to trap us into saying something to prove that we won’t work out.”
“It’s not that I don’t want them,” I growl in frustration. “I can’t have kids.” My voice is louder than I expect, echoing into the bedroom and revealing a truth I haven’t told anyone.
Keagan had his mouth open, but now he stops, reading the anguish that must be apparent through the bond.
Ezy rolls out of bed and pads towards us, wrapping his arms around me from behind.
“If you want to have kids, we can find a way. Surrogacy, adoption, fostering. Whatever you want.”
“I don’t want them. I’m already broken, but you guys are their heirs to the Boothe fortune and Alpha Labels, and you have family who will want-”
“Wait! Stop.” Gael sits up and glares in my direction. “My parents were absent parents. I raised Noah. They didn’t even notice-” Gael cuts himself off. “My parents were terrible. So were Ezy’s. And that kind of thing lingers and leaves a nasty taste. I don’t care about the line and neither does my pack. Kelly has a gazillion siblings and cousins.”
“Two siblings and four cousins,” Kelly says dryly. “Not quite a gazillion but close. And he’s right. I’ve never desired being a parent.”
“Look at that, we’re all in agreement,” Shale whispers and smirks at me.
I growl at him, but he just rolls on his side and curls up against Kelly.
“Come to bed and growl at us in the morning.”
“I don’t want kids, for the record. I don’t like children. So what do you think about that? I know that might make me a monster, but, yeah, I don’t care.” I snarl at them, still trying to get a rise.
“That’s it. Enough talk.”
Keagan picks me up and dumps me in the middle of the bed. Everyone climbs in, and then Beau claps the lights off.
“Do you know what I always wanted to do?” I say because I can’t turn my mind off. My anger has fizzled out, and I’m lost now in this somber anguish.
“What?”
“I wanted to have a family dinner. We never had them when I was growing up. Dad was always working late. But I see it on TV, and I think, how nice would it be to have a dinner today and say what we loved about today. To talk and drink wine.”
“We can do that every night for the rest of your life if you really want,” Ezy says. “If you were sitting at the table, what would you say is what you loved about today?”
“Hmm. I think this. Laying in bed with you guys. I’m not alone in the dark. There are no scary noises outside or in the other rooms. It’s just us in a bed, safe and warm.”
Beau rolls into me and kisses my shoulder. He drags me towards him and starts massaging my leg. I let out a little moan of pleasure as he gets a spot that is aching.
“I loved seeing Kelly ride that wave and achieve his goal,” Shale says suddenly. “It made me want to do better.”
Kelly turns and wraps his arms around Shale. The easy affection that is growing between the guys is seductive.
“My favourite thing was the kiss you gave me when I got back safe,” Kelly murmurs to me.
He thinks my kiss is better than a giant wave? My stomach flutters, and I struggle not to smile.
Beau rolls on top of me and grinds himself against me. “I’m really liking this bed thing, too.”
“Keagan is my most loved part of today. For bringing me back to Earth and stopping me from being a dumbass,” Ezy says with a chuckle.
Keagan sits up. “I have two, that is actually one. When I kissed Ezy, and I felt that bolt of lust come through the bond from my eavesdropping omega.”
“I did not!” I protest instantly.
“You totally did so.”
I hum and go quiet and then, because I can’t turn my brain off, I just blurt it all out. “Who decided to name the penis a penis? Is it related to a pen? Did a man look at his dick while he was pissing and go, ooh, I can write with my dick, too. Maybe it’s a penis? Or was the pen named after the penis? Oh, do guys mutually masturbate like they show on TV? What does it look like?”
“A guy masturbating?”
“Well, yes, and no. I mean, when you do it to each other. I never see any of that.” My words come out with a super squeak, and I can’t seem to moderate my tone.
The air in the room is getting thick, but I can’t stop my mouth from running. Is it hot in here?
“Would you like to see it?”
“You guys together?” I squeak.
“Well, yeah. I mean, we can show you.”
I hum and finally nod. “Okay, yes. Show me.”
Beau claps the lights on, and I turn to find he’s got his pants down and his cock out. It’s thick and heavy, and, oh, my god.
“Beau, is your penis tattooed?”
Beau bursts out laughing. “It is. I got it done after a heat a year ago. You would know about it if only we didn’t have sex in a dark cave,” he teases.
Kelly, Gael, and Ezy sit up to have a look.
“Fuck, that’s hot!” Ezy whispers.
I nod my head, fascinated by the way his hand glides slowly up his cock and then slowly back down.
I take a quick peek at the others.
Kelly moans and rolls away, refusing to watch, but Gael stares as if it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.
The pattern around his cock appears to be a tribal pattern. It’s cool.
“How did they even do that, and did it hurt?”
“I had to be nice and hard, and, of course, it hurt, but it was absolutely worth it.”
I reach out but hesitate. “I haven’t, I mean, I don’t remember the heats clearly. Um, well, it’s just, I don’t know what I’m doing.” I take a deep breath. “Can you show me?”
“Come on, pretty omega. Touch me, and we will show you how to make me feel good. We can show you how we fuck later, if you’d like?”
I lick my lips, nodding. “Later,” I murmur. Is it later yet?
I reach out, and he grips my wrist, dragging my hand to his cock. It’s hard but soft on the outside. Beau slides my hand up and down and hisses.
“Oh, that feels so good.” He groans and flexes into my hand. “But now we need another ingredient for the pot. Help me?” He turns his head, addressing someone else.
He lays back, but Gael is there, leaning over me, his hand covering mine as he guides me into pleasuring our alpha.
Beau lets out a shuddering purr and starts slowly thrusting into our hands.
My mouth parts because this is almost as good as what they do to me.
“Beau,” I whine. “I want to hear you.”
Beau snarls, his eyes snapping open, and thrusts harder, straining when we’re holding the base of his erection.
“Oh, I’m going to use every part of you. Fuck your tits, your ass, hell, I’ll just rub on you and get off. Why are your hands so soft?” Beau growls.
“See, we’ve got him right where we want him. He’s thrashing his head, panting, breathing fast.” Gael clicks his tongue. “Now we add a twist and vary the speed and grip. We want him to be unsure what we’re going to give him next.”
“Does it feel different between me or them doing it?” I ask.
Beau squeezes his eyes closed and bites his bottom lip. Gael reaches between his legs and cups his balls, rolling them in his hand.
“Some, his hands are rougher and bigger, yours softer and smaller. It all feels good.” Beau stares at me with slitted eyes.
Gael glances down my body.
“May I?”
I cautiously nod. I have no idea what he’s requesting.
He reaches into my panties and shoves his hand between my legs. I gasp out, whimpering and rocking against him. The move was so sudden and unexpected that I don’t even get out a peep of protest.
“Goddamn, Aspyn, you’re soaked,” Gael whispers into my ear. “I can fix that for you if you’d like.”
I clear my throat. “Uh, yes, after.” I’m not sure about that either, but I’m willing to try.
Am I?
Willing to try with these alphas? I didn’t want to see them surf that wave. It killed me to see Kelly out there. I have lots of deep feelings about them, and I can feel them slightly through the shared bonds we have. Is Shale right?
Gael leans in close, panting but not touching me other than where his hand is, but I stare at the side of his face, confused by the way his cheeks bloom red and his eyes turn black. He runs his hand through my pussy, leaving me a quivering mess, but just when I think I can’t take it, he pulls his hand free and pulls our hands off Beau.
“The right lubricant can change the whole game,” Gael instructs.
He drags his wet hand up and down Beau’s shaft, soaking it. It’s almost embarrassing how wet I get for them.
My alpha arches, straining, the tendons in his neck stand out. Gael pulls my hands back on, and we tug Beau three times before slowing and adding a twist.
“Damn!” Beau hisses and turns his head, biting the pillow.
“Does it feel good?” Keagan teases.
“You’re going next. I could nut right now. Her hand is like velvet,” Beau gasps out.
I glance over my shoulder at Gael. “Can you teach me how to give head?”
Beau chokes and suddenly arches, coming hard. I watch in awe as he spurts cum onto his stomach. It just keeps coming and coming, he shakes and hisses, his neck straining as he groans through it.
“Keep stroking through the orgasm,” Gael murmurs. “We want to milk everything out of him.”
“Oh, fuck, I’m going to get you back for this, Dahan.”
Gael flashes him a grin. “You keep saying things like that, and, one day, maybe I will believe you.”
Beau huffs.
“All right, we need another volunteer,” Gael says and glances around.
Ezy is lying on the bed, his eyes closed. Him, I want him. I glance at Gael.
“Anyone you want, no one will judge,” Gael murmurs.
“Okay.” I take a breath, steady my nerves, and whisper the name. “Ezy.”
The alpha’s eyes pop open, and he looks almost scared, but Gael pulls the sheet off him and pulls his pants down. Ezy wrestles with him but ends up laying back panting, staring at the ceiling and swallowing hard.
One day, I want to get them all to stand naked together so I can examine their cocks and see the differences. But Ezy doesn’t look as long, but his girth is massive.
Suddenly, I’m not sure. He is not going to fit.
“You should see his knot, it’s impressive,” Gael teases. “Come closer, Aspyn, so you can learn.”
I crawl over Keagan, who laughs and smacks my ass.
Gael grips Ezy and strokes his hard cock. “We start with what we just learned. Getting him prepared to have the life sucked out of him. But it’s all about the anticipation.”
We go through it again, and then Gael leans down and licks. He’s slow and deliberate, the way someone would lick an ice cream cone. But Ezy almost levitates off the bed. Wow!
He glances at me, and we both ignore Ezy’s pants.
“You need to find the right method for the right alpha. Like Ezy likes just a hint of teeth over the tip of his cock, and Kelly loves it when you get messy.”
“Messy?”
“Um, drool, spit. He likes seeing tears run down your eyes as he fucks your face.”
That image slams into my brain, and I want it. Is it too soon to ask?
Gael points Ezy’s erection in my direction. “Your turn.”
I duck my head down and lick. He’s salty, it’s not unpleasant. I take over holding him and start licking him, still stroking and twisting my wrist every time I draw up.
“Now take him in your mouth. Listen to what he’s telling you, either verbally or what his body language is saying.”
I lose myself in it, taking over and moving so I’m closer and getting a better angle.
“Aspyn,” Ezy wails.
I ignore him. I hear a commotion, but I take him into my mouth, down to the knot. It’s a fascinating ridge of flesh that is growing, and seeing it, touching it, is doing all sorts of things that have me soaking the sheets.
I suck on his knot.
Ezy surges up, and now my nose is buried in the hairs on his groin. He pants and begs, incoherent.
The knot grows and expands, but I can’t stop. I breathe through my nose as the knot stretches my mouth open, filling up all the space.
Oh, wow.
I love it.
Tears pour from my eyes, but I don’t let go. I can’t even if I want to. He’s completely knotted my mouth.
I flick my tongue over him as he pulses into my throat, sends streams of hot cum down my throat and into my stomach.
He’s mine.
That possessive thought holds me while I suck at his knot. His thick erection fills my mouth. He is helpless and mine.
I can hear the others but nothing matters, just this moment. Something so raw and unhinged.
Something instinctive and perfect.
Ezy watches me in amazement, in awe and shock. He reaches out. Our hands connect.
And something between us changes.