54. Aspyn
Chapter fifty-four
Aspyn
A spyn Aged 23
I bite the inside of my cheek as I limp my way home. I pause, feeling a deep well of loneliness. Nat is in the pub tonight. While we’re both outsiders, she’s far more tolerated than I am, though.
I wish I could go in there and speak to people. To laugh and talk with anyone.
I miss the city.
I miss home.
Would it be different or would I be a pariah there, too?
Shale appears beside me and puts his hands in his pocket as he watches me.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Home,” I say quietly.
“What is the city like?”
“It’s loud and messy and so different from these islands. You’d hate it.”
He sighs and pulls his hand out of his pocket and takes my hand.
“I was born and lived in a city, once. Shall we move to the city?”
I laugh. It’s bitter and cold. “What would I do there?”
He stops.
I get this strange anxious feeling when I make Shale mad. I don’t like it.
“You would be with me.”
I stay silent, even though my treacherous mouth wants to say ‘I’m with you here’.
“It’s lonely here,” I murmur. “Sometimes, I just have moments where I’m lonely and sad. Ignore me.”
Shale turns back and cups my cheek. “Never.”
P resent Day
I remember how lonely I used to feel. I don’t feel that way anymore. My pack aren’t just my best friends, they are my soul mates. I’m never left alone unless I specifically request it. We are all together, and it works.
This is the kind of family I dreamed about, the kind of love I wanted.
Nat walks over confidently. It didn’t take her much time to heal externally. Internally, though, she’s a lot less trusting and a lot more messed up. She’s met a nice beta here who is quiet but treats her like a queen.
Mitch and Sonny moved here, too. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to forgive Sonny, but I heard from Kelly that Typhor and his goons were planning on dumping Mitch at sea because he’d already offended them. He’d just gone along with what they wanted to protect him. The rest of the town won’t fare very well. Ryn has inherited the island, and she is not pleased. I believe there’s going to be a discussion at some point soon about who is going to be delivering their destruction. I’m just glad we can say goodbye to it.
And though I struggle with forgiveness, at least I can understand why. It makes it easier to bear.
Nat gives Kelly hell most of the time. The two of them are like chalk and cheese, and yet, I caught someone giving Nat a hard time, and Kelly almost ripped his head off.
“Hey, babes!” Nat sidles up to me and gives me a hug. “I’m heading on the tour with my baby now. We’ll be a couple of days, but I’ll ring you or Mitch every night.”
I blush. “Call Mitch.”
Her eyes crinkle at the corners, and she bites her bottom lip to stop the laugh. “Oh, really?”
“I think so.”
“Well, in that case, have fun, and wear the sexy underwear I bought you.” She pauses. “Do I need to decorate again?”
I snort a laugh. “No! Never ever again!”
We talk until it’s time for her to go. We hug for a long time. Nat is resilient. Either way, I’m glad she’s seeing Ryn’s therapist. Ezy bought the house next door, we’re going to give it to her on her birthday.
The other interesting thing that happened a month after we arrived here was having a strange man come up to me. I’d stared at him, confused, when he called out my name and smiled with genuine relief.
He’d introduced himself as James Montauk, and I realised at once that this was my mother’s second husband.
We’d sat and had coffee while he’d told me about her life and how he’d helped her get sober, and they’d fallen in love. He said that just before she died, she’d revealed her life with me. James said that one day she was working on one of the other islands, she met a man that she serviced. I had winced at his use of the word, but he continued regardless. The man had fucked her and then revealed he wanted to know where I was. My mother had been beaten up quite severely, but she didn’t want to compromise my safety. She left.
I’d stared at him, stunned. My entire world twisting in and out of focus.
“No, her stuff was gone. The money. No, she left me.”
“It wasn’t her, Aspyn. Your mother had nothing when I found her. She ran, and he followed. I don’t think he ever realised you were still back there.”
I’d stared at him, feeling all these pieces fill back together. My mother was protecting me. I was not abandoned. I wasn’t a burden.
James then told me all the stories my mother told me. He showed my photographs and handed me a letter. He’d taken her name in honor of her and was so proud to be able to fulfill her last wish.
After our goodbyes and promises to keep in touch, I’d opened the envelope to find out that my mother had loved me very much. She thought about me all the time and hoped I was doing well. She was sorry. Very, very sorry about the horrible things she said and for failing me. She hoped I was okay. She prayed I would find happiness, and she regrets she let her dependency on alcohol tarnish our relationship.
My mother was sorry.
I cried for days over that. I had to reconcile the truth with the false beliefs I had in my mind. I’m not a burden.
All of that left me feeling lighter and happier. So, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when I started stealing clothes and materials that were left around the house.
What did come as a surprise was the location. It was our bedroom, a huge airy room with a massive bed and bifold doors that opened up to reveal the most amazing view of our private beach.
It’s our paradise and, apparently, here, I don’t need a cave, and I don’t need to hide. It’s such a relief to be able to build a nest I’m proud of and looking forward to having a heat in.
I pick up the blanket and fuss with the corners before letting it fall and fluffing up a pillow.
Shale leans on the door frame and watches in hunger. “Do you know the first time I saw your cave, I almost dragged you out? I should have, but I thought it would be the worst thing I could have done.”
“It would have been the worst move.” I turn to watch him while I spread my fingers out on the material, smoothing out the wrinkles.
“I hated that for you. More than anything else, I hated that you thought you deserved to spend your heats in a cave. So, I can’t tell you how happy this makes me. So happy.”
I turn and gesture for him to join me.
“It means you’ve healed, Aspyn. It means that you’re ready to open your heart again.”
I look up and see the shimmer of tears in Shale’s eyes. Right from day one, he has protected me, looked after me, done everything he can to make me happy.
Shale, Keagan, and Beau never stopped fighting for me. Kelly gave up everything for me, while Gael never stopped looking for me. Ezy fell in love with me just from my words.
Each one of these alphas has been dedicated to me long before I was ready.
Today, I’m building a nest. No, not a nest, my nest. My forever nest.
For my heat. With my pack. In a place that is home.
I step into my alpha’s arms. “Thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for waiting for me to be ready. I love you, Shale.”
“I love you, too.”
Shale walks me backwards towards the bed. When my knees hit the back, he catches me, but instead of supporting me, he simply pulls at the pink sundress until it falls away.
His eyes flare.
“No underwear?”
I try to say something, but I can’t get the words out.
Before he or I can say anything else, the door opens, and Keagan walks in. He walks straight up to me and pulls me out of Shale’s arms.
“Hey!” Shale protests.
“You snooze, you lose.”
Keagan sucks on my neck, I lean up into him, tilting my head and giving him more access.
Shale huffs a laugh and then gets a look in his eye. “Do you think you can handle all of us?”
“What?” I peel open my eyes and look at him.
“Can you take us all? Before your heat?”
My heat is simmering inside me. I consider his request. Could I handle it? I’m pretty sure I could.
“Yes.”
Shale’s eyes gleam. He glances over his shoulders at the pack. They look back at me, hungry, needy, mine.
Keagan pushes me down to the bed, and I get lost in his kisses. I give him all of my attention, taking his focused aggression and devotion and giving it back. When he thrusts into me, I cry out but don’t look away from him. He pins my wrists and leaves bites all over my breasts and shoulders.
I love it. I feel like he’s marking me, making me his for everyone to see. He growls and snarls, yanks on my hair, thrusts into me with a punishing pace.
“Keagan!”
He snarls again and grabs my good leg, lifting it up and sinking into me a little bit deeper and at a different angle.
My eyes bulge, and I struggle, but he just holds me tighter and sucks a hickey on my neck.
Keagan’s bond is alive with the depths of his feelings for me, and I shine it all back at him.
His tongue licks up the side of my neck, and he seizes my ear lobe, panting into my ear. My body breaks out into goosebumps, but I don’t let go of him.
Keagan growls and reaches between us. His fingers unerringly find my clit and strum it the way I love.
“Keagan!”
“Come for me, pretty girl.”
We come together. It’s not sweet, it’s a violent, passionate lovemaking that is exactly the kind of person Keagan is. When he gives, he gives everything. He kisses me, leaving one last stinging bite on my bottom lip, and then draws out, leaving me knotless and still needing more.
Beau grabs my ankle and rolls me onto my stomach. He crawls up over me and rubs out all the kinks and stiff muscles until I’m a puddle of purring mush.
“You know my favourite part about all this?” Beau murmurs.
“No, what is it?”
“It’s making you feel good and seeing you purr with happiness.”
“You make me happy all the time.”
Beau chuckles. He smoothes out his hands up my back, leaving me groaning. “Yeah, but now you’re extra happy.”
He taps my ass.
“Seeing this jiggle makes me happy.”
I snort a giggle but gasp when his hand slides between my thighs. He strokes his fingers through my soaked pussy and then scissors them, pushing two fingers into my pussy and his thumb into my ass.
I moan and spread my thighs wider.
“I love to look at this pretty pussy. You’re going to let me take photos one day, aren’t you?”
“Why?”
“Because I want to look at it the next time I’m in a boring meeting,” Beau says in a wicked tone.
Ooh, why is that so hot?
When he presses my thighs further apart, I submit with a groan. He presses into me from behind, leaning over me, pulling my head back gently as he withdraws his fingers.
“I’m going to make love to you now because I’m your sex kitten.”
I burst into giggles but choke on them when he shoves into me.
“Oh, darling, my sweetheart, baby, my baby, you are so fucking wet. It feels incredible. And knowing I’m fucking you in Keagan’s cum, I think we should just ruin this bed and remake it. What do you say?”
“Beau?”
“Yeah?”
“Stop talking and fuck me.”
“I’ll try, but it’s going to be hard.”
“I’d hope so,” I say tartly.
Beau collapses on my back, sniggering. “Ooh, you are saucy today, aren’t you?”
I hear a slap, and Beau jerks forward. I let out a little scream as he rams into me unexpectedly. It feels so damn good. I reach for the pillow and pull it to me, biting it.
“Do it again?” Beau taunts.
I hear another crack, and then he jerks into me again. Then another. I explode, clamping down on his cock. Beau lets out a wail and slams into me over and over.
“Cheating! That’s cheating!” he cries out.
I laugh, muffling my giggles in the pillow as he’s pulled off me.
Two down, four to go.
My leg aches but no more than usual.
Ezy picks me up and lowers me onto Gael.
“We know we said one at a time, but we want you together.”
I shift and impale Gael. He groans, “Hold on, babe,” but then Ezy is there pressing against my ass.
His fingers are slippery, and they press straight in. I groan at the feeling of fullness and start panting. The humour of a few minutes ago is gone. All that there is is hunger and a low key heat.
He pulls out of my ass and returns with his cock. I’m wary of having that monster in my ass, but Ezy is careful and so gentle.
The two of them work in tandem, pushing and pulling, manipulating me until I’m a gasping, helpless mess.
“You’re so good, taking all of me like this,” Ezy purrs. He rocks in and out of me, leaving me almost sobbing with need.
I clench around the two of them, and Gael gasps.
He reaches up and cups my breasts, squeezing them, pulling my nipples and letting them go before rolling them between his fingers.
I exist to feel this pleasure. It’s my only purpose in this moment.
They rock faster, harder, but still making sure it’s not too aggressive.
It doesn’t take long. I’m overwhelmed and oversensitive. I scream as I clamp around them. My body shakes, but my skin is extra sensitive. I feel so amazing.
Gael writhes underneath me, helpless as my pussy strangles his cock.
“Oh, shit, oh, god! Don’t stop!” Gael spits out.
Ezy gasps in my ear and shoves in and out of me, forcing me to take more of Gael.
“Come again,” he growls.
I shake my head.
“Come, Omega.”
The bark drives me, I’m helpless but to follow his command. I shatter again, stronger this time. I see stars. I’m dimly aware of them coming in me, but I’m too stunned.
I lay on Gael as Ezy pulls out of my ass.
“Look at that gorgeous gape,” he murmurs. I feel his fingers run down between my cheeks and scoop up cum and push it back into my ass. I whine out a protesting moan for more, but Ezy just laughs and moves away.
“We have to share,” Ezy whispers.
I’m ever so gently lifted off Gael, who convulses, shuddering. I snicker as he rolls away and flops onto the floor.
“I’ll be here, dying.”
“You’re all weak!” I tease.
I get the giggles and flop onto my back, snorting my laughter. I’m lifted into Kelly’s arms. He yanks off the blankets and pushes me back down. He gets behind me but cuddles into my back so we’re spooning.
“Are you happy?”
“I am.”
He trails his fingers over my body, gently stirring my arousal and relighting the flames.
“Are you?” I whisper.
“I am more happy than I thought I’d ever be.”
He lifts my thigh and sinks into me. We’re still spooning, but I turn a little. Kelly kisses me as his hand grips my hips, holding me still.
It’s passionate and intimate, and the rest of the world fades away. There is just him and me, moving and loving each other.
When we come, we come together.
It’s perfect.
I wait for him. Knowing he will only come to me when he’s ready. Shale lies on the bed beside me, our noses inches apart.
“You look beautiful getting fucked senseless by the pack.”
Kelly pulls away. I catch his hand and squeeze his fingers, then let him go.
The room empties, and it’s just me and Shale again.
“Are you going to finish this?”
Shale screws up his nose. “You make it sound like a job.”
“No, that’s not what I meant-”
“I want to fuck you outside, in the sun, where everyone can see, except no one will because this is our private beach, and I’ll kill anyone who looks.”
I stare at him. I’ve never because of my scars. I glance at the window, seeing the sunlight in the edges of the curtains.
What would it be like?
He reaches out and strokes my cheek. Strokes the scar tissue.
“Come and be brave with me.”
“Okay.”
He doesn’t waste time, just picks me up and carries me out of the house. He brings me to the porch.
“Put your hands on the railing and stick out that gorgeous ass.”
I do as he asks, but he spends forever teasing, his hands sliding over my body, rubbing, massaging, tugging, and tweaking.
Only when I’m begging does he finally give me what I need and slide into me.
I hold on to the whirlwind that is Shale.
He came into my life and saved me, refused to walk away.
Look at how far we’ve come.
“I love you, Alpha,” I sob out.
He pinches my clit, sending us both into a violent tempest of an orgasm.
“We love you, too.”