Chapter 27
Castor
The drive back from AC was long. Gia hasn’t texted me back in hours, so I imagine she’s busy on her shift. Still, things don’t feel right. This is supposed to be a celebratory day, just like when I closed the deal with the Russians. The timing just never fucking works.
My engine growls to echo my dismay. Pulling up to Bangos makes me feel like a stalker since she’s not expecting me, and I tighten my grip around the steering wheel when I don’t see her manning her usual rotation near the left window. Maybe she’s in the back, on break. But after twenty minutes, still no sign of her.
What the hell, Gia?
I angrily pull away and head to her apartment. My nerves are starting to go haywire. The Russian’s wouldn’t… not again.
I step on the gas harder, cutting people off and ignoring the honks at my rear.
Me: Gia is everything okay? Are you at Bangos? I’m worried about you.
No time to be cryptic, so I just lay it out there. When she doesn’t respond I try calling, but it goes straight to voicemail. Her voice makes my heart murmur. I miss her terribly. Fuck. Whipping the car down her street, I pull to a screeching stop in front of her apartment and leave the car double-parked with the hazards on.
The lights are off inside. Not a good sign.
I ring both bells. Top and bottom.
Where the hell are you?
My eyes brighten when I hear footsteps, then my heart sinks when I notice it’s that damn old lady making her way down the stairs. I hop off the stoop and pace, wondering where she could be.
“Hello, sir. You’re Gia’s boyfriend, right?” The woman peeks through the screen door. “Oh, you have a few cuts on your face? Is everything alright—”
“Hi, ma’am. Sorry to bother you. Have you seen her?”
“It’s no bother. Um, yes, before.”
“Was she in her work outfit?”
“Come to think of it, she wasn’t.”
“With anyone?”
“Yes, her friend. The mouthy one who wears her shorts too short.”
Yeah, I’ve seen her at the restaurant. Stacey, her friend who she ran away with when the Russians were after her.
I nod. “Thank you.”
“That all? Can I offer you some tea?”
I smirk. “Appreciate the offer, but I must be going.”
“Always in a hurry. Hmph. Have a nice night.” She starts to turn. “Kids these days. All those tattoos. Ruin such a nice handsome man,” she thinks she’s muttering, but I hear her just fine while turning back to my car.
Those two could be anywhere, but better check that other girl’s apartment. I have the address in my texts on one of my burners. Opening the center console causes four phones to fall over one another. I have dates taped onto them and have to think back to when Gia was on the run. Some quick detective work gets me what I need, and I’m fuming at this point.
At least it wasn’t the Russians. She’s just out somewhere.
The dark side of my brain makes me think Marco’s been threatening her to stay away. Probably hitting on all fronts – Gia’s mom, cursing my reputation, whatever. The prick.
Sccrrt!
I skid back on the main road, heading straight for Stacey’s apartment. When I get there, I insistently ring the bell. Lights are on everywhere. That’s a good sign.
I take a breath, clenching and unclenching my fists, playing with the scab on my face just to distract myself.
The window slides open upstairs. “Oh shit!”
“Hey!” I see Stacey duck back inside. I’m about to shout at the top of my lungs, but Gia’s beautiful face pops through the window to put me in a spell. Her shoulders are out in a spaghetti-strap blouse, her hair bounces in a ponytail. My heart falls into my stomach as I’m suddenly at a loss for words.
She smiles at me bashfully, almost in a way like she shouldn’t be.
“Gia…”
“I thought you were on business in dirty Jersey.” She folds her arms over the windowsill.
I was hoping she’d run down the stairs to come see me. Jump on me and give me a hug for how much she missed me. Instead she just stays there, with two stories and a lot of plaster and cement between us. “I was. But now I’m back.”
Our eyes hold. And in the midst of my emotions, I can’t tell what hers are trying to say.
“You freaked me out when I couldn’t get in touch with you. Tried Bangos, tried your apartment. That peculiar old lady pointed me here.”
She gasps and looks back. “Oh crap, Castor! I left my phone charging in Stacey’s bedroom. We were watching a movie! I’m sorry.”
I believe her, but the vice around my heart doesn’t loosen. It still doesn’t explain the last week of aloofness. “Can we talk?”
Her lips twist. “Yeah, sure. Be right down.”
I hear whispering before the window shuts. Something is not fucking right.
Her footsteps down the stairs make me nervous. I’m never nervous. It puts me in a deeper mood.
She comes out and closes the door carefully. There’s no excitement about her, not like before. It’s churning me in ways I’ve never experienced, almost like I mean nothing.
I nod for her to walk with me, keeping my hands in my slacks’ pockets. She looks beautiful tonight. Such a normal outfit – shorts, a blouse, and flip-flops. I want to tell her how nice she smells, but the moment isn’t right.
“I feel underdressed.” She folds her arms, glancing at me.
“Could change that in a second. I’ve got a wife-beater tank under here somewhere.” I pretend to start undressing, evoking at least a hoot. It’s something. But then the air cools between us again. “Gia.”
“Hm?”
“What the hell is going on?” She squirms and stares at the ground. Since she says nothing, I continue. “Look. I gave you your space after that night with Marco. I figured that was a lot for you to watch. But the truth is… we were all peaches and cream even after he almost shot me. Something happened when you two were alone. I’ve been replaying it about a thousand times in my head, and now I’m sure of it.”
She scratches at her arms.
“Tell me, Gia. I need to know what this is all about. One week after I tell you I love you, you pull away from me. Why?”
I’m staring at her as we turn the corner. “I did everything you asked. No more risky plays. I got your brother off our backs. What else do you fucking want?”
“Don’t yell at me,” she snaps.
“Don’t clam up on me.” I stick a finger in her face, making her recoil even more. It sucks to be furious and not be able to do anything about it. “Did he get to your mom? If he did, it must’ve taken a lot of bullshit, because that woman always treated me like a saint. I’ll go meet with her right now and clear the air.” I open my arms, then let them fall to my sides when I realize I’m acting out.
“You’re right. It’s what Marco said,” she finally concedes.
“What did he say, Gia? What?”
She clams up further, and I can’t help but pace away from her, cursing under my breath. I catch a glimpse of my face turning red in a car window and have an urge to run my elbow right through it. We were doing so good.
Fucking guy. Right after he decided not to shoot me, he played the game another way. Prick.
“If he ruins us, I’m going to wring his neck.”
“And fill him with gold?” Gia says passive aggressively, making me boil even more.
I take a breath.
This isn’t going to go anywhere if I’m stuck in a fiery loop, especially with her stoking the flame like that.
Breathe, Castor.
I turn to her, suppressing all my anger. “Why are you being like this?”
“Because I was an idiot before. You buy me beautiful jewelry and take me on lavish dates… Marco told me why. He’s a psycho, I know, but he’s your closest friend.” She scoffs. “I don’t know why I dismissed it before.”
“What, Gia? Stop being so damn cryptic,” I say as evenly as I can muster.
“He said you guys all have side pieces. Prostitutes, escorts. All you mobster men wine and dine your wifeys and laugh behind our backs when you bang whores.” Tears well up in her eyes. “I’ve been blindsided before, Castor. I don’t want to be the damn fool this time. It hurts too much.”
“Is that what you really think?” I stand in front of her and make sure she looks me in the eyes when she says it.
It takes a minute, but she finally looks up.
“Take a good look, Gia. Right here.” I point to my face. “Do you really think I would betray you?”
She squints, and the tears break. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about.” She sobs, and I step in to console her. Her cries echo louder through my body as she wraps perfectly into my arms.
I was the one coaching Gia about how to deal with Marco – to keep calm while we diffuse him. Turns out, I might be the one that buries him at the end of this.
“Gia.” I break the embrace to gaze at her. Red blotches, bloodshot eyes. She’s hurting because he knew how to tug on the right strings. A seed of doubt I can’t even be mad at her for.
“Hm?” She sniffs.
“I would never hurt you, ever.”
She wraps her arms around me and cries harder. “What if you already gave me an STD? We fuck without a condom. I’ve felt dirty ever since that night, Castor. I’m such an idiot…”
I sigh into the hug. “I tested myself after the night at Bangos. Right when I realized I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
She looks up at me. “You’re lying.”
I shake my head. “I may be a brute, but I know who to protect. I can prove it if you want. The paperwork is at my house.”
“But it’s true then… what Marco said—”
“You really want to know what I was like before I found someone worth keeping?” I stare at her long and hard. “Seems like the state you’re in, it’s just going to make you hate me more.”
“I don’t hate you… The opposite, actually. That’s why I’ve been torn up all this time. For letting myself fall so hard.”
Those words send a shot of cool air bursting around my body. It’s good to know she still feels for me, because for a second there, I was sure she didn’t.
“You know, Gia, I thought it would be difficult trying to be in a relationship with you. I had no idea what urges would pull me away. Turns out, that part is easy. You’re perfect. It’s everything surrounding us that wants to tear us apart.”