Chapter 15 #3
“I’ll answer this,” Brice says. “Felix just went home and added more cameras around the property. There’s a gate, high fences with barbed wire, and there will be at least one of us working from home next week.
Cian left me his number. I can send that to him, as well as ask if there’s anything else we should be doing. ”
“Good,” Adrain says, glancing over at Brice nervously.
“Why do you look as if he’s going to swing on you?” I ask.
“He may after this question,” he grunts. “You’re very particular about your space. Lights, where things are, etc. Except, you’re not usually quite so emotional about it. I’m not saying that it’s not warranted, but?—”
“I’m not usually known to leak so much,” I say wryly.
“Yes,” he says. “Where are we on your heat cycle? I mean… Are you going to be safe and comfortable at Pack Ledger’s house if you go into heat?”
“I would rather drop a delivery of sex toys from my company’s warehouse to her nest than ever pressure Hollis,” Brice growls. “The rest of my pack is currently setting up a nest for her.”
“What? Really? But how?” I ask.
We haven’t known each other for long. I don’t really think that they’d know what I’d want in a nest.
“I’ve been in your loft, though I haven’t seen your nest,” Brice admits. “However, you have a really specific color scheme, Hollis. Between your office and your loft, it’s clear what you do and don’t like.”
Taking a breath, I nod. I have friends who notice what I like, and I do consider Adrain a friend. It’s why he’s interrogating Brice under the ridiculous idea that his father and Cian care about my nest. I just rarely have other people really pay attention to me like this.
Or maybe, it’s more so that I’m so used to holding people at arm’s length that I don’t realize they’re paying attention.
“When we get to the house, if there’s anything that you need, we’ll get it for you,” he says. “We really want you to be safe, which also means having your own space.”
“Thank you,” I say softly.
“That makes me feel better,” Adrain says under his breath.
“Last thing, your body should hold off until it can handle a heat. Alpha pheromones won’t trigger it immediately even if you are close to having one.
The end result of a heat biologically is to get pregnant, which is why your body will wait. ”
I glare at him, and he cringes. I did not need that out in the universe.
“I can make sure to get you birth control before you leave the hospital if you want, presuming you’re not already on it,” he rushes out.
As a very single omega, I can appreciate that he’s not assuming anything.
“Thank you,” I say. “I think I should do that.”
“Got it,” he says, standing. “Those are all my questions. I’m going to go see if we can get the chest scan done any sooner, Hollis.”
“Thanks, Adrain,” Brice says.
“If you take too long, I’m going to ask the nurse for more pain medicine and sleep,” I say, yawning.
The only good thing about this hospital stay is that I’m getting caught up on my sleep. That’s really fucked up to say, but that’s my life.
“If I take longer than fifteen minutes, I’ll send the nurse to you,” Adrain says, striding out of the room.
“He’s not bad,” Brice says.
Smirking, I lift a shoulder. “I know good people,” I reply.
“Okay, here’s something that’s been on my mind, and the doctor just gave me the perfect opportunity to ask. Tell me what you want to do about your heat?” he asks. “If it happens while you’re with us, do we barricade you with sex toys, do you want us to help? Or are we going to play it by ear?”
Be an adult, Hollis.
“Here’s the deal,” I say, swallowing hard.
“I usually just use toys and grit my teeth through my heat. However, since we’ve scent matched, it’s more likely that I won’t be able to do that.
Heats are much more intense for omegas with scent matches, and they have a really hard time getting through it alone. ”
I could say more on the subject, but I don’t want to influence him either way. There’s evidence of omegas losing their minds if they can’t have their scent matches during their heat. At this point, anyone with a knot won’t work.
“I actually didn’t know that,” he murmurs, taking my hand to rub my fingers slowly. “You have four alphas who are willing to do anything you need, baby. Malcolm is very insistent that we shouldn’t rush you, and I agree. However, things are on a different time table with your heat coming into play.”
The corners of my eyesight are darkening, a stark reminder that I need to breathe. Giving in, I gasp in a breath.
“What aren’t you telling me? You look really nervous,” he observes. His clear blue eyes are worried as he gazes at me and I find myself staring back.
“I’m a virgin,” I force out. “It wasn’t necessarily something important to me, it just kind of happened. I don’t date, I set up my company when I moved out when I was eighteen, and there wasn’t any time to do any of that. I was helping people make connections, and I kind of blocked myself off.”
“Is there any other reason for it?” he asks softly.
“I…had a sister. I actually don’t know if she’s alive or not,” I sigh. “She was kidnapped when she was exactly two weeks old, shortly after Christmas. We were side by side in our bassinets, and someone took her and left me.”
The knowledge that it’s November and that both my birthday and the anniversary that Maree was kidnapped is the following month lays heavy on me. The holidays aren’t a happy time for me.
“Hollis, I’m so sorry,” Brice says, shaking his head. “I can’t imagine. I have little sisters, and they enjoy meddling. I adore them regardless.”
“See, I love that, and I ended up missing all of those moments. Maree was my twin, and I often feel like something’s just missing,” I sigh.
“Somewhere along the way, I decided that my mission to help people find love was more important than anything else. Caleb and Lars make me stop and smell the lemon bars so to speak periodically, but I figured if Maree didn’t get a chance at all of the things that people experience in life, then maybe I didn’t deserve to either. ”
“Hollis,” Brice murmurs. “Do you think this is some sort of survivor's guilt?”
“Oh I know it is,” I say with an ironic laugh.
“My parents looked for her for years before finally pretending she never existed. It’s so awful.
I don’t talk to them very much, because their actions disgust me.
I pretended not to know you, my scent matches, or react because the narrative in my head is that I don’t deserve it if she doesn’t ever get to experience this too. ”
“We were also assholes,” Brice grunts, making me smile. “I wouldn’t have acknowledged us either. Do you know for sure that she’s not in the world anymore?”
“I don’t,” I rasp. “She’s my twin though. I would know if she was alive or dead I feel, and there’s… static deep inside of me. I don’t know what to do with that. I’ve used my resources to look for her, but nothing comes up.”.
“Then you don’t know either way,” he says. “Keep looking, you never know where life takes us. I mean that. Meanwhile, I don’t know anyone who would want you to live in this holding pattern you’ve been in. Of anyone, you deserve good things, baby.”
Scent matches can’t be escaped unless they’re rejected. Biology and fate meet in the middle to bring them back together. I’ve seen it happen often with people who swear they hate each other. All I can say is that I’ve heard that there’s something to be said for hate fucking.
I’ve lived vicariously through people for the past ten years.
“Funny you should say that,” I say, my voice full of emotion. “I decided that I’m going to let myself live a little. I kind of wanted my first time to be outside of a heat if I ever had one…”
“Hollis,” Brice growls, pulling my eyes from the spot on his shoulder.
I didn’t realize until just now that I started to hide.
“Baby. However, it happens with us, we’ll take care of you.
Our focus is making you feel good, cherished, and special during that time.
Fuck, all the time if you’ll let us, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
The fact that we’ll be your firsts is amazing. Do any of the guys know this?”
“Malcolm didn’t tell you?” I ask. “I pretty much told him that when we were in the hallway.”
“Fucker,” Brice chuckles. “I think he hid it from me because I’m completely out of my mind obsessed with you.”
“Really?”
“Mmhmm. It’s why I stayed with you last night before I had to leave.
I’ve been fighting a lot with myself to keep it together.
A part of me fucking loves being able to experience things that only we’ll be able to give you,” he rumbles.
“See, I’m already getting ahead of myself.
Toning it down is difficult when you still manage to look so beautiful. ”
Blushing, I can see that he’s serious. For someone so handsome, he hands out compliments very easily. There’s no guile, simply sincerity. Leaning forward, he presses his lips against mine, and I find myself relaxing.
There are a lot of crazy thoughts going through my mind. This pack is all in their mid-thirties, and clearly experienced sexually. I was nervous to spell out that I was a virgin, because I thought they wouldn’t want me.
Silly, right? Except, it’s not. I’ve seen people mark on their surveys that they aren’t interested in virgins because of their sexual preferences and not wanting to “train” their partner.
I think it’s influencing my perception of Pack Ledger, and that’s not fair of me.
Kissing Brice back, I let him deepen it until we’re both breathing a little faster. Pulling away, I can see his eyes are deeper and heated.
“I’m possessive, Hollis,” he rasps. “The fact that you’re a virgin only makes me want you more because your moans, slick, and cum will all be ours. Now, I want to hear you say it, and I’ll never bring it up again.”
“Say what?” I ask, my mind clouded with lust and confusion.
“Say you’re ours, Little Omega,” he growls.
His words vibrate through me, making me shiver. There’s no reason for me not to say it. Slow and steady is pretty much thrown out the window of a moving vehicle and run over by a semi truck at this point. It does help that there’s no pressure, just the agreement to see where the dice fall.
“I’m yours,” I whisper, meaning it.
Things have shifted in the last few hours. I want to lean on Pack Ledger. I’m hurt, and I want someone to take care of and pamper me. Typically, I’m not that kind of girl.
Yet, I want to be now. I want to be able to feel safe when I sleep, knowing that someone isn’t trying to break into my apartment. I don’t want to have my nightmares alone.
“Good girl,” he whispers, kissing away the tear that falls at the gravity of my thoughts.
Maree, wherever you are, I hope you’d never hate me for choosing to be happy.